by Violet Paige
“I think I’m going to throw up,” I said as I scanned my computer for the posting of my last final. The words swam in front of me. I shut my eyes.
“I think I’m going to throw up,” Emma said, eyeing the food in my hand. “I swear the whole dorm smells like pickles thanks to you.”
I looked down at the small snack size pack of baby gherkins I had been munching on. Usually I couldn’t stand pickles. Lately however, I was eating everything and anything that was doused in vinegar.
“I’ve just been so stressed, I think it’s making my hormones all crazy. I’ve been craving the weirdest things,” I tried to explain apologetically.
“If you're that stressed, maybe we should go back to the club and find that hottie from a few months back. I doubt you’ve gotten any since.”
“That was just a moment of extreme weakness, okay. I am not like…”
“Me?” Em finished with pride.
“Yeah. Plus it was only like six weeks ago.”
“Maybe you're all hormonal because of your period then. I swear the whole damn dorm is having their time of the month right now,” Emma shrugged off. She was never one to really get along with other girls.
“No, actually it’s been a while,” I replied realizing it as I said it. I was mentally trying to count in my head my last period.
Emma turned to me and seems to look me up and down.
“You're not pregnant are you?” She asked with a narrowing of her blue eyes.
“No!”
“Did you use a rubber?” She countered.
I thought back to that night in the VIP room. I hadn’t even thought to get the guy’s name before slipping out, let alone remember a condom.
“Well no. I mean it was just a one time thing though. I can’t get pregnant from one night.”
“Uh, hell yes you can! Let's check the facts here, you feel like vomiting, you are eating nasty food, and you missed your period. All signs are not pointing in your favor.”
“I want to throw up because I am worried about the exam, and I probably missed my period because I have been putting all this junk in my body. I’m sure it’s just late,” I added trying to convince myself.
“Well, there is only one way to know for sure,” Emma responded.
“What the fuck does that mean?” I said.
I hovered over a pee stick an hour later.
Em had taken me to the nearest drug store bought three different brands of pregnancy test and waited while I peed on all of them.
“So for this one two lines means pregnant,” Em said reading the box.
“Shit! Maybe it's wrong. This one has three lines does that mean not pregnant, I hope?”
Em looked at the other box, “Nope that means pregnant too.”
I picked up the third test. I didn’t need Emma to translate the results of this one for me. It was as LED screen that simply said ‘pregnant.’
I swiped them off my desk and into the wastebasket. I sat back on my bed sure that I was going to puke at any second. How could I be pregnant? It was just one time!
Sure it had been my only encounter, but it was probably the best I could ever imagine having. He had fit so perfectly inside me, tore something open deep within that was beyond mind-blowing.
I had hesitated for just a second when we were done and slipped off his lap to get his name. I knew that wasn’t how those types of encounters were supposed to go, though. Instead, I pulled down my mini, strapped up my top and slipped out while he was still putting himself back together.
I hadn’t seen him since, and I had never planned to. Now what the hell was I supposed to do with his child inside of me?
“So, what are you going to do?” Emma asked her blue eyes full of concern.
“Hell if I know.”
Eight years later…
Four
Lilly
“Ugh, I hate this,” I said into my phone as I pulled up into the parking lot of my medical complex. “I won’t be more than an hour though. Are you set with the presentation this afternoon?”
“Your’e such a baby, Lilly. It’s a yearly, not open heart surgery,” Julia, my secretary, said from the other end of the line. “I have everything ready. It is going to be the best pitch Brahmin Bakery has ever seen.”
“Alright, no need to suck up,” I responded before ending the call.
Doctor offices were always picky about taking calls in their wait room. All that was going through my head as I made my way through the various corridors and elevator to the right section of the complex was that I couldn’t remember the last time I shaved my legs.
I mean it shouldn’t really matter much. It’s not like the doc would be paying attention to my legs.
I dreaded my yearly. Sitting on a cold piece of paper with my legs in stirrups with all of me on full display, wasn’t my idea of a good time.
After having Aria seven years ago, raising a kid on my own hadn’t allowed much time for dating. I didn’t fault her for that. Aria was the best thing in my life.
Having her had helped me mature and clear my head for what I really want. I gave up pre-law and went into advertising. It gave me a chance to use my more creative side and gave me the chance to show off my passion and drive.
All of that combined, didn’t leave much time for finding a new daddy for my daughter. That didn’t even take into account the fact that most men ran the other way when they saw that kid baggage came along with the ride.
I did my best to not grow impatient as I waited for my turn with the doctor. I had a shit load of work to do today before the presentation and Julie scheduling my yearly gyno for right now wasn’t helping.
Finally, I got called back, stripped to a sheet, and left again waiting for the doctor. The nurse did her part and it was hard to say that she was any happier to be here than I was.
That all seemed to change when the doctor walked in. It was like someone lit a fire under her. She was all smiles and puffed out chest for him.
I had to admit he was a pretty hot. He seemed nice enough too as he droned on with the normal yearly questions.
Finally the legs were up in the stirrups and I was just glad to finally get this all over with. Something seemed different as his hands grazed along my thighs. It was a mixture of that voice and his touch.
In an instant I tensed. I was almost sure I knew who he was.
“I’m sorry,” I said from my end of the table, “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before. Tell me your name again.”
The doctors head peaked up from over the sheet and he smiled down at me. His black hair slicked back with those matching dark eyes, I was sure in that instant.
“I’m Dr. Barrett Harris. I am fairly new to taking over the practice.”
“Oh, how nice,” I said, not knowing what else to do.
I was positive now that I was currently being examined by Arita’s father. I closed my eyes and did my best not to remember that night in the club as his gloved hand felt around my insides.
Finally he was done with his swabs and lowered the sheet back down. He stood over me as if waiting for something.
“What?” I asked unsure.
He cleared his throat feeling a little awkward to have to tell me.
“Usually, part of the yearly is a breast exam. If you are comfortable with that?”
“Oh yeah,” I said pulling myself up a little higher on the table. “Of course. I’m here for the full treatment,” I added and then kicked myself for it. I sounded like such an idiot.
I was so frazzled. Never in a million years would I have considered running into Aria’s father. She had tried her best after finding out that she was pregnant, to get in contact with him. It wasn’t that easy when you didn’t even have a name to go off of.
After that, she had just forgotten all about him. She would raise Aria on her own, that was no problem, so it seemed no other reason to try and seek the guy out.
He seemed to hesitate for a moment looking at my face. I looked aw
ay quickly, I didn’t want him to recognize me back. Thinking I was embarrassed, he went to work.
I closed my eyes to shut out his image as he massaged one breast first and then the other. I swallowed hard. His touch brushing against my skin was making me wet.
I couldn’t believe it, but I was pretty sure that I was about to orgasm from my gyno’s touch.
Five
Barrett
The voice had sounded a bit familiar, but I had seen thousands of patients since returning to Chicago. It was more likely that this woman was just someone I had seen once before, and not the girl she was reminding me of.
Even since that night all those years ago, I had never gotten her out of my head. No matter what other relationship I tried to have since, all that I ever seemed to think on was her wrapped around me.
It had been only one night, and a brief encounter at that. Something about that girl had awoken in me a desire to take her again.
It wasn’t until I moved back the hospital gown to expose her breast that I was sure it was her. I had licked those perky nipples a million times in my dreams over the years. I was positive now, that I had just dipped my hand into the girl I had always hoped would come back my way.
I wanted to say something, ask her if she remembered me. Hell, if I was being honest I wanted to plunge my hard dick into her right in that moment. The shuffle in the corner from Helen, the nurse present, told me that it wasn’t a good idea.
Before it had all made sense for a nurse to always be presents during my exams. It saved a whole lot of male doctors in this profession from being slapped with malpractice and sexual harassment lawsuits.
Now all I really wanted was to push Helen out the door and lock it so that I could fuck this girl every way possible. I watched her lick her lips as I worked my way over her second breast.
If I didn’t know better I would say she was getting off on it. That only made my dick push harder against my pants.
Reluctantly I pulled back the folds of her gown covering the sweet white mounds below. I sat back down in my chair and turned to the computer.
"It will take a few days to get the results back from the pap smear. Someone will call you from the office to let you know how it went.” I looked over her chart before adding, “Lilly.”
She had been avoiding my gaze the whole time. It wasn’t something new to me, not all women were comfortable to have a male doctor fingering around their parts. But when I said her name, those honey eyes snapped to mine. In that moment I was sure that she was the girl I had wished so much to taste again.
I left the room so that Lilly could change back into her own clothes. I had hoped to maybe catch her in the hall, perhaps see if she remembered me too. Even if she didn’t, I was willing to take her in my office and make sure she wouldn’t forget me again.
She left in a rush before I even notched however. I was a little disappointed and frankly desperate for a release after that encounter. I thought about Helen. She was always flaunting herself in front of me. She would be an easy enough fuck just to get my focus back.
But having seen Lilly again, I was fairly certain that no casual encounter would ever do for me again. I had found the forbidden fruit I tasted so long ago, and I wouldn’t settle for anything less.
I took a minute before I left that night to peruse her medical records. I wanted to know as much as I could about this mysterious woman. I was hopeful to see that she wasn’t married. However I did see a tick on her chart for a live birth. That meant she had a kid.
It was a little disheartening, until I looked at the date of delivery. I had to count it back a few times and let it sink in. She had a kid seven years ago. That made her pregnancy around the time that they had met.
Of course that didn't mean it was his. He did some more digging in her medical record and found that on father was named on the birth certificate. It was an even more curious fact.
It gave him that excuse he was looking for to find a way to see her again. After all what man, when seeing he might possibly have a child out in the world, wouldn’t want to make sure.
I was debating right then to call her up when my phone rang. I looked at the at the caller ID. It was my father. I rolled my eyes and silenced the ring.
I had no desire to speak to the man. He still was going on about the fact that I had not chosen to join him at his New York practice. I had hoped moving back to Chicago after my years doing charity work might give me enough distance from the man. It didn’t stop him from constantly calling and berating me.
“Are you going to get that?” Helen’s voice called from my office door.
I looked up to see her leaning against it.
“No,” I said looking back at my computer.
All thoughts of fucking her just for the release disappeared. Helen wasn’t horrendous to look at but she was clingy and constantly throwing herself at me. Nothing could have been more of a turn off.
When she didn’t leave I finally turned back to her, “Is there a patient ready?”
“No, done for the day,” she said with a sickly sweet smile.
“Good,” I said getting out of my chair. “Then I am out of here. Goodnight,” I ended without even looking her way as I passed her by in the door.
Six
Lilly
“Holy Fuck!” I said when Em picked up the phone.
“What? Was it your meeting thing? Did it go bad?” She asked from the other end of the phone.
I could make out the sound of something crinkling in the background.
“Those better not be chips. You promised you were going to go on this diet with me to help me lose the last of my baby weight.”
“Truth bomb my love,” she said as she crunched chips into the phone, “if you haven’t lost it yet, you might just be stuck with it.”
“Shut up,” I responded.
It wasn’t like I had blown up or anything. It was just this pesky extra thickness around my hips that never seemed to go away no matter how much I dieted.
“So what is the holy fuck about?” Em said ignoring me.
“You are never going to guess who I saw today, Dr. Barrett Harris.”
“Sounds hot. Was he your lady doctor? Did he rub you all nice,” she said sarcastically.
I didn’t answer because it was actually true.
“Holy Fuck,” Em took a turn saying now. “Did he rub you all nice?”
“No,” I winced back into my phone. “He was my doctor today at the appointment. But that isn’t what I meant.”
“Well then what?”
“He wasn’t just my super hunky gyno, I am also pretty sure that he is Aria’s biological father.”
“Seriously?” I heard Em spit her chips out at the other end of the line.
“I mean I don’t know for sure. But it looked like him. The guy did say he was going to be a doctor.”
“Did it feel like him?” Em asked.
“I am not answering that question,” I said.
I pulled up in the line of cars waiting to pick up kids from school. I looked at my watch. The bell would be ringing any minute and I would need to wrap up this call before Aria got here.
“So what happened when you told him? Did he remember you too?”
“Uh, no! I didn’t say anything to him. I got out of there as fast as I could.”
“Why? If a hunky doctor gave me a baby I would be screaming it from the rooftops!”
“Yeah because mentioning that the dusty old hole you are peering into gave birth to your kid a few years ago, is great conversation in a doctor’s office.”
“It can't be that dusty,” Emma retorted.
“You are the only one who has ever babysat Aria for me. You tell me how dusty you think it is?”
“Oh, hell. That is pretty bad then. Do you even remember the last time you got laid?”
“I can’t even remember my last date,” I said as the cars slowly started to move forward.
“I got to go though. Aria's bell just r
ang and she is going to be here any sec.”
“Are you going to tell her,” Em said from the other end of the line.
“I don’t know,” I said softly before hanging up the phone.
It was the one thing I truly had been dreading all afternoon. Could I look my daughter in the eyes knowing who her father was and not tell her. It wasn’t like she hadn’t asked in the past. I knew she was dying to know the other half of her creation.
I’d never felt guilty before, making up my lie to appease her. It wasn’t like I could tell her something better like a name. Now I had a name, and even worse had seen him face to face. I wasn’t sure I could keep up the story that had kept her satisfied in the past knowing that the truth was walking around Chicago.
“Hi honey, how was your day,” I called when Aria slipped into the back seat.
I looked at her through the rear view mirror. She looked more like a spitting image of her father today than ever before. Of course her dark eyes and black hair had matched his since the day she was born, but now after seeing him again, I saw so much of Barrett in her face.
“It was fine, mom. Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked back.
“I missed you today,” I responded quickly.
“Don’t forget I have dance class tonight,” she reminded me before rummaging through her bag for something.
We spent the remainder of the short drive home talking about her day. It was easy to forget the events of earlier as we got into our normal routine.
Parking my old jeep in the apartment garage, we made our way home. Aria started her homework while I whipped up a quick dinner before a night of dance class.
It was a pretty regular occurrence in out house. Aria was obsessed with ballet and took class twice a week and also was on a competitive team with their own practices.
“Is Grandma and Grandpa coming to my competition next week? I have to tell Madame how many tickets to get.”
“Yes,” I called the short distance from the stove where I was sautéing our dinner to the breakfast nook where she was doing her work.