A round of nods and affirmations went around the circle. As Colton glanced at Elise again, his heart sank. He wished he could do something to relieve some of the burden she’d been carrying.
Instead, he held out his hand toward her. “Would you like to step outside a minute for some fresh air?”
“I’d love some.”
They didn’t have time to go far. Instead, they stepped onto the screened-in porch and stood beside each other near the cedar-shingled wall. Darkness had fallen around them, concealing the beautiful ocean scenery. But the change in environment was nice.
He had to admit that the break was nice for him also—especially if he could spend it with Elise.
But that thought was just as dangerous as the mission in front of him.
* * *
Elise drew in a deep breath. That meeting had been a lot to take in. There was so much information yet so few leads, it seemed.
Either way, she was grateful to be out here now.
“I was always a little jealous of Daniel, you know,” Colton said.
Elise turned toward him, her heart thrumming in her ears. “Why’s that?”
“Because I thought he’d found the perfect girl.”
She let out a little laugh. “You thought I was the perfect girl?”
He shrugged quickly before staring off in the distance. “Yeah, I did. You fiercely defended him. You stuck with him when the going got tough, you put him in his place when he needed it, and you had his back at other times.”
It was her turn to shrug now. “I did my best. I was far from perfect, though.”
She could feel Colton’s eyes on her.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“I guess, ever since I found that hidden box, I wonder about how life might have been different if Daniel hadn’t died in that training exercise. If the two of us had gotten away and started a new life together somewhere else. Somewhere we’d be able to spend time together.”
Colton’s hand covered her shoulder. “I don’t know the answer to that question. Is that what you wish had happened? That you and Daniel were off somewhere together right now?”
“That wouldn’t have erased our problems.” She licked her lips. “Besides, there’s no need to dwell on the what ifs. That’s what I always tell my patients.”
“But sometimes it’s human nature to do so.”
She turned to him, feeling her breath catch. “You’re right. It is human nature. We all try to deal with tragedy in our own ways.”
“Yes, we do.”
Their gazes caught.
Elise licked her lips. Before she could talk herself out of it, she said, “You know, I always thought Daniel was pretty lucky to have you as a best friend.”
Colton raised an eyebrow. “I thought I was a bad influence.”
“You were the best kind of bad influence. You helped pull him from his intensity. Helped him see other viewpoints. He knew he could always count on you.”
Something flooded his gaze. A new emotion. Was that guilt?
“Daniel’s death wasn’t your fault, you know,” she said quietly.
“It feels like it was my fault.”
“We always want things to make sense. Did you know that’s why we so often see pictures in clouds or make up stories out of constellations? It’s our basic human nature to want answers and reasons. But sometimes there just isn’t any reason to be found. We have to be able to accept that.”
Colton pushed a hair away from her face, his gaze nearly mesmerizing her. “You’re a pretty smart lady, Elise.”
“You’re a pretty brave man, Colton.”
Before either of them could say anything else, an unseen force seemed to draw them closer. Closer. Closer.
Finally, their lips met. Electricity exploded between them, and fire seemed to burn across her skin as Colton’s hand went to her waist.
Just as quickly as the kiss had begun, they both stepped back and stared at each other.
“What do you think Daniel would think about that?” Colton’s voice sounded gravelly with emotion as he stared at her, their faces only inches apart.
“I think he’d want us both to be happy.” Elise wanted to believe that. Deep inside, she did. Then why did she feel guilty?
“I want to tell you that I won’t even entertain the thought of doing that again if you say the word,” Colton said. “But I’m not sure I’d be telling the truth.”
Something about the sly smile on his face, about the sparkle in his eyes, got Elise’s blood pumping in a way she hadn’t felt in years. “I would never ask you to do that.”
He tugged her closer again until their bodies were next to each other.
Elise almost didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to risk it, but . . . was it possible that she might have a second chance at love?
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Elise felt flushed. Had she really just kissed Colton? And had it really felt that good?
She knew the answer. No doubt, it was a yes.
But every time she remembered how much she enjoyed it, an equal amount of guilt trickled into her mind. Why did she feel like she was betraying Daniel? He wasn’t here anymore. Still, the guilt was surprisingly strong.
Colton rubbed the sides of her arms. “Maybe we should get back inside. I think my sanctioned break time is over. Obviously, I should’ve made it longer.”
Elise smiled, reluctant to leave the moment, yet desperate to get away. The two emotions collided with each other inside her.
“Next time, take a longer break.”
A soft smile played on his lips. He opened his mouth, looking as if he wanted to say more. Before he could, someone tapped on the window.
Dez. Good old Dez.
Colton dropped his hand from her arm, though the motion almost seemed reluctant. “We can talk more later.”
Elise smiled. Talking wasn’t exactly what she was thinking about. But talking was a good thing, especially considering the scope of what had just happened. They would need to figure out which direction they should go after this.
She wiped her lips, hoping to remove any evidence of the kiss. She wasn’t ready for everyone to know their business. Instead, Elise tried to compose herself as Colton ushered her back inside.
She took a seat and leaned back, trying to focus on the talk at hand. Yet all her thoughts wanted to do was go back to that kiss.
It had been so long since she felt the giddiness she did now. She and Daniel had had that once, but they had drifted apart over the years and sometimes the divide between them had felt insurmountable. Elise had hoped for reconciliation and for happier days. But they never got a chance to work out their issues.
And now Colton was here . . .
“Did anyone have any other thoughts while we were on our break?” Colton asked.
No one said anything for a moment. Finally, Benjamin shifted. He glanced at Colton and then at Elise.
“I think we should tell her what really happened,” he announced.
As soon as the sentence left his lips, tension thick enough to crackle filled the room.
What in the world was Benjamin talking about?
She swung her head toward Colton. “What does that mean?”
Colton narrowed his gaze at Benjamin, who shrugged.
“I think she deserves to know,” Benjamin repeated. “I don’t care if it’s supposed to be classified. I’m not a SEAL anymore, and I’m tired of covering things up.”
“Colton,” Elise said. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Colton ran a hand over his face and his shoulders seemed to droop. When his gaze met hers, the emotions in his eyes were tumultuous at best. Guilty at worst.
“I’m so sorry, Elise.” His voice cracked. “I’ve wanted to tell you for the past year. But Daniel didn’t die during a training exercise. He died during a black ops mission.”
“What?”
He nodded. “And it was all my fault.”
* * *
<
br /> Elise felt the air leave her lungs. “What? What are you talking about?”
All of the guys exchanged glances. There was obviously a lot more going on here than she knew. Though she’d always suspected that there was more to the story of Daniel’s death, she had no idea he was involved in black ops missions.
“We were sent to ambush Manuel Tersoo,” Colton started. “We had good intel that he was on a fishing boat. He was using it to cover his whereabouts as he headed to France. We believe he was going there to meet with an investor and to sell the tantalum his men had been stealing.”
“Okay . . .” Elise waited for the story to continue.
“But someone knew we were coming,” Colton said. “We’d been double-crossed. As soon as we showed up on that boat, they were waiting. We were all supposed to die that night.”
“That’s terrible.”
“All of it was off-books. No one was supposed to know. In fact, there was a whole cover story about how an opposing terrorist group would be blamed. If we were caught, the government wasn’t sending anyone for us.”
“What happened?” The words burned as they left her throat.
“We had to abort the mission. It was Daniel’s call. He knew all of our lives were on the line. As he was trying to get us off the boat, he was shot.”
Elise’s hand covered her mouth, and she muffled a cry. She tried not to picture everything happening, but how could she not?
“I was supposed to have his back.” Colton’s voice cracked again. “I should have seen that shooter before the bullet ever reached Daniel.”
“We all should have,” Dez’s face looked just as grim as the rest of the group.
“What happened to him?” Elise’s gaze scanned each person in the group. “Why didn’t you bring his body back?”
“We couldn’t find it,” Griff said. “We searched for days and days. We even went back on our own, without the military knowing. We couldn’t find it anywhere.”
“Do you think the Savages found it?”
“If they did, they haven’t owned up to it,” Benjamin said. “Usually a group like that will want to brag. They never did. Most likely, the ocean claimed it.”
Elise stood, not wanting anyone to see her tears as betrayal flooded her chest cavity. “I’m going to need a moment.”
Colton stood and reached for her, but she stepped away before he could touch her. “Elise . . .”
“I just need . . . I just need time. I knew when Daniel became a SEAL that there would be missions I could never know the details on. But this . . . it’s turned everything I thought about his death upside down. I’m going to need time to process this.”
Before anyone could say anything else, she escaped to her room.
So many people thought her husband had died a traitor. In truth, he was a hero.
How could Elise even try to feel happy while knowing her husband had been denied justice? It seemed . . . like a disgrace.
Chapter Thirty
Colton felt anger bristling his muscles as his gaze fell on Benjamin. “Why in the world did you think it was a good idea to pull that stunt?”
Benjamin rose to his full height, defiance in his gaze. “Because Elise deserved to know the truth.”
“That wasn’t your decision,” Colton seethed.
“You certainly weren’t going to make the choice.”
“And I had my reasons, starting with the fact that the details are supposed to be classified.” Anger simmered in Colton’s voice as he fisted his hands at his side.
“He’s right,” Dez said, his voice low and serious. “You shouldn’t have made that call, Benjamin.”
Benjamin raised his hands in the air as tension crackled between them. “There’s nothing that I can do that will make you guys trust me, is there?”
“There are boundaries in place,” Griff said. “You just crossed them. Big time.”
“Hiding the truth about what happened that night hasn’t done us any favors,” Benjamin said. “We’ve all been empty shells since then. What can we say? We were the only Navy SEAL team to ever leave one of our guys behind.”
“We tried to find him.” Colton’s voice rose with emotion. “We did everything in our power to locate Daniel. We even went back to that site three times trying to find him. Finally, the command said we were done. What else were we supposed to do?”
“I’m just saying, don’t make me out to be the bad guy here. We all had a hand in what happened there, and, in our own ways, we blame each other for the loss of Daniel, don’t we?”
Colton clenched his fists tighter, trying to keep himself in control. “What happened that night was a tragedy. I know we’re all dealing with it in our own ways, but you need to take a step back, Benjamin.”
“Isn’t that what I always do? Take a step back. I’ve always felt like an outsider. This just proves that I am.” His jaw flexed as he shook his head.
“No one said that you were an outsider,” Dez said, his voice still calm. “But Elise didn’t deserve to find out that way.”
“If I didn’t say something, no one else would. If it was my spouse who died, I’d want to know the truth.”
“I can’t talk to you right now,” Colton muttered. “There’s a part of you that wants to see this team fail, isn’t there?”
Benjamin blanched. “Why in the world would I want to see us fail?”
“After Daniel died . . . you were the only one who didn’t want to go back and look for his body.” Colton grit his teeth at the thought.
The words seemed to wash over Benjamin before he grimaced. “It was one of my first missions. I was shaken up. What can I say?”
“You know we never leave a guy behind.” Dez shook his head, not looking entirely happy himself.
Benjamin took a step back. “I know what all of you guys think. You think that I only got this position because my uncle is the Secretary of the Navy.”
No one said anything. That thought had crossed Colton’s mind. He’d be lying if he said it hadn’t.
Still bristling, Benjamin lowered his hands, and his gaze swept around the room, almost as if he waited for someone to defend him. Finally, with one last glance back at them, he stepped out the door and slammed it behind him.
When he was gone, the rest of the team looked at each other.
“It wasn’t supposed to go that way.” Dez ran a hand over his face.
“No, it wasn’t.” Colton placed his hands on his hips, anger still simmering in him.
“Do you think Elise is going to be okay?” Griff glanced up from his spot on the couch.
“The news shook her up,” Colton said. “I can only imagine what’s going through her mind right now.”
Colton couldn’t help but wonder how this might change their relationship. He knew there were bigger stakes at hand, bigger issues. But part of his heart felt shattered. To finally take that step forward with Elise, only to have everything come crashing down around him . . .
Colton needed to figure out a way to fix this.
But first he had to figure out who was behind these threats . . .
* * *
Elise hugged the pillow to her chest as the conversation played out in her mind again and again. Tears ran down her cheeks with every new image that entered her mind.
Daniel had died at the hands of a terrorist. His death had been violent. Not an accident.
And she’d been totally in the dark.
She’d been in the dark about so many things.
She’d believed a lie about his death for the past year. She didn’t want to be bothered by the fact. But she was.
A light tap sounded at her door. She wanted to tell whoever was there to go away, but something inside her stopped her. Instead, she called, “Come in.”
Colton stuck his head in the room. “Can we talk?”
“Not really feeling much like talking right now.” She pulled the pillow closer, feelings clashing inside her. On one hand, Colton had come to mean so muc
h to her. On the other hand, her husband deserved so much more than her running off with his best friend . . . even if Daniel was no longer here.
Colton stepped inside and closed the door. His gaze looked downright tortured. “I know you’re not. I just want to say . . . I’m sorry.”
She wiped beneath her eyes, trying to hide any evidence of her tears. “So am I.”
Colton shoved his hands into his pockets, his shoulders slumped with invisible burdens. “I wanted to tell you, you know.”
“I’m sure you did.” Elise’s voice sounded hollow, almost like she didn’t believe the words herself. Maybe she didn’t. She wasn’t sure yet.
“Is there anything I can do right now?” His eyes implored hers.
“Right now, I just want to be alone. I don’t know what any of this means . . . for my future. For us. I need to sort through things. I wish . . . I wish I hadn’t found out like that.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be that way.”
“No, if it was up to you, I would’ve never known, would I?”
She saw Colton flinch and knew her words had hurt. Maybe that was what Elise had intended. She wanted Colton to know how she felt after someone she cared about had betrayed her. Yet another part of her knew that wasn’t fair.
She couldn’t get her thoughts together.
“I don’t know what to say.” Colton’s voice cracked.
“Then don’t say anything. Not now, at least. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to be by myself.”
Colton nodded and stepped back toward the door. His hand gripped the knob, but his eyes remained on her. “I’m sorry, Elise.”
She nodded. But she knew there was a good chance things would never be the same. Ever.
She might be able to forgive Colton. But would she ever be able to forget?
Chapter Thirty-One
Colton decided to sleep in one of the spare bedrooms in the cottage that evening. The evidence Elise had brought with her was now locked in the secure office Ty kept in his home. Colton wanted to spend the evening reviewing each photo again—and he also wanted to be close to Elise, just in case.
Dark Water: Lantern Beach Blackout, Book 1 Page 14