by Lauren Dane
She turned the water on and stood there, letting the tears go, letting herself cry as hard as she could. Because once those were gone, she needed to get herself back together somehow.
But it was safe here to let it go. So as she shampooed her hair, making sure there was no glass, as she got rid of her fabulous makeup job, as she washed the millions of cuts she’d gotten and hadn’t even known it as the window had shattered and the glass had flown, she allowed herself to fall apart.
Tate would help her put her pieces back together when she was ready.
And knowing that helped.
Tate looked up as Matt came back into the room after he’d put the girls down to sleep. He’d have called his brother as well, she knew.
He waved her to sit. “Going to start the tea and warm milk. You should get off your feet.”
She smiled his way. “I’m fine. The nausea is nearly all gone. I can heat water and milk, you know.”
He stalked over, kissed her and gently but firmly sat her down. “I’ll tell you what I know if you rest.”
“You fight dirty for such a pretty man.”
“How else can I manage my wife?” He winked. “Beth said Joe’s dad went crazy at the Sands and that he rushed her. Joe ran him down to keep him from harming her and they both went out the big front window.”
“Holy fuck.” Whoops, her fuck problem tended to come out when she was really upset. Thank goodness the girls were down. “Sorry. What did Shane say?”
Matt put a kettle on to get some water hot and poured milk into a saucepan for her. Her gorgeous man, so protective. He’d always been there when she needed him. Always. A fabulous father, a wonderful husband. It was still hard to believe he was hers. Man, she was lucky.
“I’ve heard you say lots filthier than fuck, Venus.” He winked at her and went back to the telling. “Shane’s glad she’s here. I guess she left the scene, and Nathan and Jacob were pissed and worried about her. Lily said she needed to be left alone. She’ll need to talk to the cops though. But it can wait for now. Carl is under observation and being treated for multiple wounds. I’m gonna say stitches most likely, probably watching for signs of a concussion, that sort of thing. You know Shane’s got to be careful how much he says about anything hospital related. Anyway, he says Carl was pretty messed up. Joe was treated for lacerations. He’s got some bruised ribs, but nothing is broken. He’s still at the hospital with his mom.”
Tate blew out a breath. “Well, I’m glad they’re all okay. But Beth is my main concern. I’ve never seen her like this.” She got up, wiping the counter down just to do something with her hands to keep them from shaking so much. “A control freak, my baby sister. Especially of her emotions. She broke her arm when she was four. Oh fuck that, our father broke her arm. Goddamned piece of shit. She didn’t cry. She just tucked in between me and William, and she held on, even when they were setting it. So stoic.”
Matt moved to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “Venus, you undo me.” He kissed each eyelid. “I love you so much. She came here to you. Tucking up into you just like she did then. She’ll be all right. She’s a strong woman, like her older sister.”
“I hate it when she’s upset. She’s a good woman, Matthew. What did that man do to her?”
“He dumped me.” Beth came down the hall, keeping her voice low. “I hope you don’t mind but I checked on the girls and gave them night-night kisses.”
Tate loved her sister so much. “They’d have been mad if you hadn’t.”
“Meg said she wasn’t going to sleep until you came in anyway.” Matt put the tea and milk out on the coffee table. “Call me if you need me.” He hugged Beth. “We’ll get this set to rights. I’ve never met the man who can resist a Murphy sister.”
Beth gave him a smile—not a big one—but it reached her eyes and that was a step in the right direction.
Tate kissed him. “Thank you.”
“Any time, Venus. I put out pillows and blankets. Do not drive her home yourself if she wants to go home. I’ll do it. I have tomorrow off and I don’t want you out so late.” He took her chin, looking into her eyes. “Okay? Please?”
“She promises. Though I can walk home. It’s not that far.”
He looked around Tate to Beth. “Except no. Jeez, ladies, let me do stuff sometimes, okay? Stay over. Tate’s making waffles and the girls would love to have you. I’m sure they’d even let you watch Mary Poppins a few times. But if you want to go home, come get me. I’m just catching up on all the stuff on the DVR that Tate hates anyway.”
Beth nodded. “All right. Thank you, Matt.”
Beth sat back, tucking her feet beneath her and turning her body toward Tate.
“Take it slow, Matt had a pretty liberal hand with the whiskey in the tea.”
Beth sipped and agreed. But the warmth felt good. The burn took away some of the fear, eased the panic.
“Baby, this is killing me. Tell me so I can fix it.” Tate took her hand and Beth put her head on her sister’s shoulder.
“I guess I know what he’s been skirting all these months. He dumped me.”
“I don’t understand. He broke up with you? You had a date, right?”
“Right on the sidewalk outside the Sands. Covered in blood, a bruise coming up on his cheek. He was so…” Beth closed her eyes as she remembered it all over again. “He was in so much pain. Not physical pain. He was heartsick. And ashamed.”
“Start at the beginning.”
“It was good. The date I mean. Jacob and Trey were there. Nathan and Lily. Royal. Joe. He was affectionate. He said I was his girlfriend. We’d gotten to a new level. I know we did. And then there was all this yelling and Joe got up because it was his dad and then everything happened so fast. It was so loud and people kept trying to help and he was trying to calm his dad down and it was crazy. I was standing on the booth. The one we were all sitting at. I was watching it all unfold and then his dad looked to me and started screaming about how I was part of it. Whatever it was. And then he rushed at me. I didn’t have time to react. Nathan grabbed the back of my sweater. I think he climbed up behind, in the booth behind ours. And then Joe rushed his dad, like to tackle him. And they both sailed right through the glass and I tipped out too. I didn’t get cut too bad. I think Nathan’s grabbing me helped. And Joe of course.”
Beth sipped the tea and tried to calm down. She closed her eyes, but saw it all again.
“Joe wrapped himself around his dad. Even after all that craziness, he tried to protect his father as they went through the window. So there was all this noise and mess and the cops had arrived and Roni handed me a bunch of wet towels to stanch all the bleeding. Joe was so lost. Watching his dad as they tried to treat him. They strapped him down to the gurney and I tried to help him. Joe, I mean. He had a big slice above his eye and it was bleeding pretty bad. But he pushed my hands away and then he broke up with me. Right there. In front of God and everyone he dumped me.”
Tate let out a long breath. “He doesn’t mean it.”
“That’s the thing. At first it hurt so bad. Like he blamed me. But then I realized that wasn’t it. He said some crap about how he had too much to do and didn’t have time for a relationship. But his whole life can’t be about his father. He came back here to help them. He’s a good man, Tate. He needs someone to help him. He loves me, Tate. I know it. I know it. And I love him. He needs help and I’m going to give it to him.”
Tate smiled. “There she is. My girl. You have a plan.”
“I yelled at Lily. In the middle of the sidewalk. I need to call her. She took on Nate and Jacob to give me some time to get away. I came here. I just needed you.”
Tate put her milk down to wrap her arms around Beth. “Of course you do. And I’m here. Because I love you. Now, what are you going to do?”
“It wasn’t alcohol. Though he was drunk. He’s not right. Joe mentioned his dad being on a new round of treatment so I’m guessing it’s mental illness of some kind. So I’m g
oing to research. Get as much information as I can. He needs an advocate so I’m going to be one. Trey’s sister is a mental-health nurse. I’ll ask him for her number.” Making plans made the problem seem far less insurmountable. It was how she made it through. Step by step.
She felt better already.
“Matt called Shane. Joe was treated for lacerations and released. He’s at the hospital with his mother. Carl is still there, under observation. Shane didn’t say much about that. You know he already said more than he should have.”
“Probably some sort of mental-health hold. Better there than jail. I wish I could go over there. Just to be with him. But I don’t know his mom very well, and I don’t want to be more hindrance than help. I need to know what to do.”
“I’ll get you a pad and a pen and the laptop. You can call Trey after you check in with Lily. Nathan will be going crazy with worry.”
She hugged her sister tight. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Tate had no idea how much she meant to them. It was part of how wondrous she was.
“For being here when I needed you. For knowing what I needed to do and for making it happen.”
“How many times have you been there for me? To pick up the pieces when I fell apart? I love you. It breaks my heart to see you upset. But this Beth I can deal with much easier than the one who was in tears. You want him. He needs you. We’ll make it happen. Heck, if he gets too out of line, we’ll get Polly involved.”
Beth laughed. “He’d never know what hit him.”
“For now, let’s keep it between us.” Tate winked as she got up. “Call Lily before Nathan shows up. Or worse, William hears about it.”
“I don’t know why you couldn’t just say all this at the Sands. I could have given you a ride to Tate’s. You ran off in the dark. After you’d nearly been thrown through a window.”
“I’m sorry, Nathan.” And she really was. She could see in his mannerisms that he’d been worried. “I needed to get away. I was…”
Tate rolled her eyes and handed her brother a cookie. “She was weeping.”
Nathan’s mouth dropped open and Beth felt even worse at the look on his face. “I’m going to punch Joe Harris in the face.”
“No. It’s not his fault. He thinks he’s protecting me. He’s embarrassed.”
Nathan hugged her. “He made you cry. You never cry.”
“I love him.”
Nathan sighed heavily. “All right. I know you well enough to understand what that means. What can I do to help?”
Lily squeezed Beth’s hand before she kissed Nathan quickly. “I love you. You big marshmallow.”
“Lily, she never cries. Not even when—” He shut up quickly.
Beth shook her head, taking his hand. “No more silence. That’s part of the problem. If I cried, he won. Our father I mean. So no matter what, I wouldn’t let him make me cry. I could control that. I never wanted to give in to him. To give him the satisfaction. Not even when he broke my arm. Not even when he punched me so hard he knocked out my tooth. I won’t ever let him make me cry. But that’s not my shame to own, and Joe needs to understand he can’t own shame for anything other people do.”
“I’ve been your best friend since we were kids and you never told me? My God. Beth.” Lily looked to them all, shaking her head. “It’s a miracle, you know. That you all turned out to be so wonderful and loving.”
“We did it to spite them both. Now, Trey gave me his sister’s number. She gets off shift in an hour. I’m going home. Don’t worry, I’ll be back for waffles in the morning. I want to see my girls. But I have stuff to do between now and then, and I don’t want to wake them up. Nathan is going to drop me home. Go snuggle with your wife.”
Matt kissed her cheek. “We’ll see you tomorrow morning then. Don’t make me come get you.”
Joe had just crawled back home when he heard a knock on his door. He ignored it, but it kept on.
He opened up, saw it was Beth and had to fight the need to simply hold her.
He had to satisfy himself by asking after her. “You all right?”
She touched the butterfly bandage on her forehead. “Just a few cuts. Nothing major. What about you?”
“Fine. Look, Beth, we said all there was to say last night. I’m exhausted. I need to sleep before I go to work a while.”
“You’re not going to work. You have people to help you. Accept that help and get some rest. Jacob told me the garage was fully staffed for the rest of the weekend without you. I’ll take Buck for the day. Just get some sleep and come get him when you’re ready.”
He sighed, wanting her so bad his skin itched. Buck didn’t do his usual dance at the sight of her, he was too linked with Joe’s emotional mood to do that. But he did come over, tail wagging.
“We’re broken up. I can handle my fucking dog.”
She narrowed her eyes at him for a moment. “I’m sure you can. Don’t use the F word around him. He’s sensitive. Call me when you’re ready. I’ve got a bowl and stuff at my place.” She looked to Buck. “Come on then, Mr. Buck. We’re having a play date.”
And then she stole his dog!
He watched her go, watched her get Buck into her car and go around to the driver’s side. She turned back to him. “I’m not going anywhere far.” She meant with the dog, but he knew she meant in general too. And though he couldn’t afford to be comforted by it. He was anyway. “Get some sleep. You know where to find me when you’re ready.”
He went back inside and stood, back against the door for so long he just slid down and sat, staring into nothingness.
Christ. He should be angry with her for dealing with his staff. But he couldn’t be. All he could do was remember the way her face fell when he’d broken up with her. And yet, she’d been there, offering to take Buck so he could sleep without noise and distractions.
He looked at his hands. Abrasions on his knuckles. Middle finger splinted. He’d taken his mother home after sitting at her side all night long. His father had been heavily sedated so at least his yelling had stopped.
His mother seemed totally deflated. She was cried out. Had wrung her hands and blamed herself a thousand times. She’d been watching him that night. His dad was supposed to have been watching the game. She’d left the room and when she returned with snacks, he was gone.
She’d gone glassy eyed. Leaning on Joe to make the decisions and choices. She’d lost hope and he didn’t blame her. The hope they’d felt as his father had assented to the treatment had been so wonderful after all the worry and upset. The bitterness that it not only hadn’t worked, but the spectacular, public failure lay on his tongue, in his heart.
His mother was a simple woman. Not stupid. Certainly not naïve. But simple. She came from a world where if you were sick you took a pill and got better. Right then he didn’t know what was next. He didn’t even have the strength to imagine it just yet.
With a heavy sigh, he made himself stand. He needed a shower and at least four hours’ sleep. First though, he needed to check in with his staff. He believed Beth and he trusted Jacob, but it was his business after all.
Chapter Thirteen
Joe ended up sleeping seven hours. Like a stone. What had eventually woken him up was a call from his sister, checking in and mightily apologetic for waking him up.
He filled her in with what he knew. Which wasn’t a lot. Dissuaded her from coming down. There was nothing she could do, and it didn’t seem to him like it would help to disrupt the kids’ school and activity schedule. Not then in any case.
He called the hospital to check in. He wouldn’t be allowed in to see his dad, even if he’d wanted visitors. His mother was staying with her sister in Riverton, which filled Joe with a sense of guilty relief. One less thing to be responsible for.
He shuffled into his kitchen, realizing his pantry was empty. He’d order a pizza or something. But first he needed to collect Buck.
He tried not to look closely at his phone, with Beth’s picture smi
ling up at him. He needed to delete that, but he didn’t want to right then.
She answered, laughing, Buck yipping in the background. “Why aren’t you resting?”
“I slept seven hours. I’m good. I can come get Buck. I’ve got to get groceries anyway.”
“I’ll bring him over in twenty minutes.” She hung up.
He didn’t want her in his apartment. He wanted a big moat around his life to keep her out. It was too hard otherwise.
But she was stubborn. He smiled, even though it wasn’t wise. He was too tired not to.
He opened to her knock and Buck barked up at him once as he came inside.
“Thank you. For taking him today.”
She breezed past where he’d been attempting to block her from coming inside. She headed into the kitchen where she put the bags she’d been holding up on the counter.
“Beth…”
“Be quiet. I’m making you some food.”
“You need to leave. Damn it. We’re not together anymore. I don’t need you to make me food. I can cook.”
She sighed, moved to him, led him to a chair at the table and pushed him into it. “You. Sit. I’m going to make you a meal and you’re going to appreciate it. You will not tell me you broke up with me. I was there.”
He frowned, but she simply ignored him and went back to work.
“My father is an alcoholic.” She said this matter of fact as she began to get out pots and pans. “I never really realized other people’s dads weren’t like mine until I got to third grade or so. Sometimes someone’s daddy would come on a field trip or to some lunchtime performance. It became really clear to me then. Like, oh, so it’s just him. Or maybe it’s me.”
She chopped and set something that smelled really good on the stove and began to cook. “The trailer we grew up in had two bedrooms. Eight kids and two bedrooms. You can imagine what that was like I’m sure. Or maybe not. I hope not, actually. Anyway, it was pretty much impossible to hide from him when he got angry. Unless you just left. Which I did as much as I could. Lily’s parents had me stay over a lot. That’s where I learned that normal kids didn’t sleep under their beds to hide from dad when he got so drunk he needed to hurt someone just to ease himself.”