by LeAnn Ashers
I sit down on the floor, my back leaning against the wall, exhausted. The fear will always be with me until all of this is fully over.
But right now I think I can finally breathe a little bit. I was drowning for so long. I look at my precious baby, who is so innocent, and thinking of someone wanting to hurt her makes me want to kill.
“What’s the matter, Momma?” Mia asks, startling me. She sits down on my lap holding her baby.
I smooth her hair down her back. “Nothing, sweet girl, just tired.” She plays with her dolls and allows me to hold her. I needed this moment to fully catch up with everything.
A couple of hours later I have our clothes put away, toiletries out and it’s time for a snack for her before I put her into her bed.
She walks down the stairs with me holding her hand. We turn the corner to the kitchen and we see Ryan standing over the stove in a pair of sweatpants and a white T-shirt.
Sweet baby Jesus, who knew sweatpants could be so hot? He turns and looks at us. “Ry-Ry!” Mia calls and runs across the room to him. He picks her up and puts her on his hip.
“Did you have a good evening playing?” he asks her and looks up at me, his eyes moving from the top of my head to the tips of my feet.
I see the fire in his eyes; he likes what he sees. I can’t hide the smirk and his expression drops, knowing he’s caught.
“Is that pagettttti?” Mia yells out looking over Ryan’s shoulder at the stove. He plops her down gently on the counter opposite the stove. She claps her little hands together.
“Yes, I had a feeling you liked it.” He winks at her.
He puts some on a plate, using a fork to cut the spaghetti into smaller pieces, and I know right then he’s making it for her.
He’s precious. I know that’s not the ideal word for a specimen like him, but that’s my first thought.
I walk over and try to help. “I can handle it if you want to eat?” I offer.
“If you want, you can make your plate.” He finishes cutting up Mia’s spaghetti and gives her a spoon to scoop it up.
It makes me wonder how he knew that it’s easier this way for kids. “Can I ask you how you know so much about kids?” I can’t resist the urge to ask.
“My sister has two kids. I babysit all the time.”
That makes sense. “How old are they?” I ask, and make my plate along with Ryan’s.
“Jake is eight and Olivia is six. My sister is a single mother, so I try to help her out as much as possible to give her breaks.”
I put the plates on the table and Ryan carries Mia along with her plate, setting her up in the chair along with something to sit on so she can reach the table.
“That’s really kind of you! Your sister sounds like she’s a strong lady.” Ryan studies me like he’s trying to figure me out.
“She is and so are you. You did it alone too,” he points out.
That takes all of the air out of the room. I’m speechless. “Thank you, that means a lot.”
He doesn’t say anything else, leaving me to my thoughts and they’re mostly filled with Ryan and trying to figure him out.
Chapter Three
Myra
One Week Later
I can’t sleep. It’s been a week since we moved in with Ryan and I can’t relax. My body is still in fight or flight mode. Every little creak seems to happen the second I drift off to sleep.
I have taken to sleeping on the floor next to Mia’s bed because that seems to the only way I can sleep.
I’m so afraid of something happening to her or not being there to protect her, I’m driving myself crazy.
She is sound asleep and I’m lying here staring at the ceiling. That’s when I hear a creak outside the door, and I tense for the hundredth time tonight.
The door is pushed open and I see Ryan hovering at the door. I wait for him to leave but he doesn’t. He comes into the room and sits down beside me.
“What are you doing?” I whisper. I sit up, rubbing my eyes.
“Lay down.” He takes my pillow, fluffing it up and laying it on his lap. “Lay down. I’ll watch over the both of you.”
That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I reach forward, resting my hand on his cheek. I can’t speak right now because I’m not sure I can keep from crying.
My heart is a little less heavy tonight and it’s because of Ryan. I don’t feel so alone.
I lay down, closing my eyes, his smell drifting over me. I feel him shift as he rests against Mia’s bed, then he pulls my blanket up my arm.
His hand settles in my hair, softly stroking, and I smile as I finally drift into a deep, deep sleep.
I wake up the next morning still wrapped in Ryan’s arms, but he’s lying with me, holding me tightly against his chest almost protectively.
I can’t resist the urge to snuggle a little closer and bask in the feeling of being held.
He shifts under me and I peek up to see him staring at the ceiling. He looks down, catching me spying on him. I laugh and roll over onto my back, stretching my arms above my head before sitting up to look at Ryan.
“You’re beautiful,” he says sweetly. I lean forward, kissing him on the cheek. He has been so sweet to me since we moved in, I have quite a bit of a crush on him.
His hand comes to the back of my neck, not letting me move far away. I lick my lips, and his eyes move from my eyes to my lips.
Oh my god, is he going to kiss me?
He splits the very short amount of distance between us, pressing his lips against mine softly.
Heaven. That’s my first thought as his lips glide over mine. I sigh and scoot closer, allowing him to kiss me fully, deeply.
I drag my fingers up, burying them deeply into his hair, which feels like silk beneath my fingers.
We both hear Mia sigh in her sleep, breaking the moment. We look at each other deeply as his thumb rubs gently over my bottom lip. “Perfect.”
I wrap my arms around his neck, resting my head against his shoulder. He holds me tightly and I let him. I don’t want him to let me go. I feel safe.
“Momma.” I look up and see Mia sitting up in bed with her little stuffed animal. I scoot away from Ryan and pick her up out of bed, cuddling her in between us.
“Good morning, my angel.” I kiss the top of her head. She closes her eyes and leans her head against Ryan.
He smiles at her—he’s fallen for her. No one can resist loving my Mia; she is precious. “Still tired, angel?” he asks her, pushing her very messy hair out of her face.
She nods and turns over on her side. Ryan picks her up, cuddling her against his chest, rocking her side to side like she’s a little baby.
The sight makes me happy. “Let’s go downstairs and nap on the couch,” I suggest, seriously loving the idea of cuddling the both of them.
Ryan stands up, and I guess that means yes. I reach and grab Mia’s blanket along with the one Ryan and I were sharing.
Mia is already back asleep and doesn’t stir on the way downstairs. Ryan sits down on the couch and Mia scoots farther up until her head is right under his chin, her little fists grabbing ahold of his shirt.
“Come on.” Ryan lifts his other arm and motions for me to snuggle up on the other side. I lift out the recliner for him so he can lay back and I do the same for me in the middle seat.
I cover all of us with the blanket and snuggle into his side, his warmth instantly comforting me.
I fall asleep, fully content for the first time in a long time.
Today I’m at the center and I’m giving exams and administering birth control. I see the number of women and men who have escaped horrible situations and it makes me sad.
It’s even worse when I see the grim faces of the kids who have seen their mother or father being abused or have been abused themselves.
I’m thankful that they’re here so they have a chance at making a better life for themselves. That makes me happy.
I’m growing to seriously love Chrystal. S
he is the sweetest and she cares about everyone here deeply and wants them to better themselves.
“Next!” I call and wait for my next patient to walk in. A young girl around eighteen or nineteen walks in. I can see the fear all over her face as she sits down.
I smile, trying to reassure her. “Are you okay, honey?” I ask her. She looks at the door then back at me.
“One of the men here who claims to have left an abusive relationship snuck over to the women’s dorms and attacked one of the women last night, but she’s too scared to come forward and I don’t know what to do,” she whispers urgently, like she’s afraid he’s going to burst through the door any minute.
This is a serious problem. I know the guys have hired security so that they don’t even mix at all and they’re in totally different buildings.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ll get this handled.”
She lets out a deep breath, trying to calm herself, then we move on to the other reason she came in here.
The second she leaves, I text Ryan who is sitting in the front of the building along with Chrystal.
This is a serious problem. A lot of the women are in a very fragile state and they don’t need this fear wrapped in all of the shit they already have going on.
I feel like I need to speak to the woman and make sure she’s okay, in all ways, and then I’ll put Ryan on their ass to make them regret ever hurting a woman.
Ryan all but runs into the room, his eyes searching me up and down to make sure I’m okay. I probably should have mentioned that in my text.
Chrystal comes in next with Kyle on her tail, who closes the door behind him.
“We have a serious issue,. One of the girls here told me that a man snuck out of the men’s dorm and attacked one of the women last night.”
Chrystal gasps in shock and grabs Kyle’s hand, who is pissed along with Ryan, but this needs to be handled delicately.
“I need to speak to her first to get to the bottom of it. We don’t want to do more damage.” I try to defuse the situation, even though I really don’t want to. I’m going on instinct right now and I’m mad as hell.
“We need to check the cameras,” Ryan voices, and I fully agree with that.
That’s what they do. We stand and wait until we find what we’re looking for—one of the new members of the center across the road manages to sneak in. He had it timed perfectly.
I wanted to think that this didn’t happen but it did, and now I’m standing outside of this woman’s—Christa’s—bedroom waiting to walk in there to talk to her.
Sometimes I hate my job. I really don’t want to ask her questions and maybe cause her pain, but for the sake of the other ladies, we have to because it’s a fuck-up on our part too.
I knock and wait for her to open the door. She finally does and when she looks at me, I can see a small cut on her lip.
“Can I come in?” I ask, and she nods, letting me step inside, shutting the door behind us.
Christa sits on the bed and I sit down in the chair at the small desk that’s in every room. “You found out, didn’t you?” she asks in a small voice, her eyes focusing on her hands.
“We did, honey. Are you okay?” I resist the urge to take her hand because that may not be wanted.
“I am. He was my ex-boyfriend. I guess he just found a way in.”
I close my eyes because this may be even worse than I feared. “I am so sorry, honey. We are going to take care of this problem. You’re safe, okay? This won’t ever happen again.”
She nods and winces as she shifts on the bed, “Where does it hurt?” I ask and stand up.
“Just my side. He didn’t get to do anything to me because that one girl interrupted. He just hit me a bit.”
I’m relieved that it’s not as bad as I feared, but I’m still sad nonetheless. I can’t help but imagine what would happen if someone was mean to my baby girl someday. I would truly kill someone, without a doubt.
Christa lifts up her shirt and I see the bruising right on her side and fingerprint marks on her arm.
Just as I finish examining her, the door bangs open, scaring me and her both. A man is standing there and I recognize him from the video footage of last night. This is the man who harmed her.
Oh shit.
I step in front of her. “Go into the bathroom,” I tell her. There is no way I’ll allow him to harm her again.
She hesitates but does as I ask. I hear the door click and then the twist of the lock, leaving us alone.
He looks at me. “Well, looks like you’re here to take her place,” he chuckles, trying to close the door, but it’s pushed open with a bang.
I grin when I see Ryan strolling into the room like he owns it. “Now, what were you saying?” Ryan asks him and moves to stand slightly in front of me.
God, he looks so sexy right now. He is the ultimate alpha male. Power radiates off of him as he stares down this loser.
The loser looks at Ryan, his eyes wide. Of course all of his non-existent balls go straight out the window the second he stares down someone his own size.
“I have the wrong room, man. I’m supposed to be in the men’s dorm.” He tries to back out of the room like it was an accident.
Ryan reaches out, grabbing his arm before he can run off. “Nice fucking try. We need to talk.” He pulls him out of the room, looking back at me and winking.
Why does he have to be so sexy? Since when do I have a thing for bad boys? Oh, I know when it was—the second I saw his arms flex when he was driving his bike. Then seeing how he is with my daughter, that just took the cake.
I move over to the bathroom door and knock. “He’s gone, sweetheart.”
A minute passes before Christa unlocks the door, her hand shaking as she gathers the nerve to come out.
“He is?” she asks to make sure.
“Yes, honey, he’s gone and you will never see him again,” I assure her. She lets out a deep breath and sits down on her bed. “Nobody said it would be easy leaving him, but anything is better than being beaten for just breathing,” she whispers, addressing me but I have a feeling she’s mostly saying it to herself.
I sit down beside her and hold her hand as long as she needs me. She tells me everything she has suffered in her life, that she wants to finish her schooling to be a nurse and that she wants kids someday.
A couple of hours later, there’s a gentle knock on the door. I walk over and open it. I see Ryan first and I look down to see my precious angel standing next to him.
“Hi Momma!” Mia lifts her arms for me to take her and I pull her close, snuggling her. “I missed you so much today.” I kiss her cheek and she giggles, twisting my name tag.
“Thank you for helping me today, Myra. I think I’m going to take a nap,” Christa tells me, and I study her to make sure she’s being truthful.
I relent. “Call me if you need anything, okay?” I tell her and leave my card on the desk by the door.
Ryan puts his hand on the small of my back, walking with me and Mia. “Ready to go home?” he asks.
Home. Is that what it is with him?
“Yeah I’m ready.” He smiles back and takes Mia from me so I can get my bag. He walks in front of me and I can’t resist the urge to tilt my head to the side, admiring his booty.
Oh yeah, I’m ready.
Chapter Four
Myra
Later that night
Ryan walks into the room carrying his cellphone. “Get ready, I’m taking you out tonight. Chrystal and Kyle are going to come over to watch Mia for us,” he says, completely out of the blue, and he leaves the room before I can even make a peep.
I look at the door he walked out of, floored that he just threw it out there like I’m going to agree just like that.
“Ryan is crazy, baby,” I tell Mia, who just grins at me like she knows exactly what I’m talking about.
I sit down on the bar stool watching Mia play with her dolls. She loves brushing their hair over and over, so half of them
are missing their hair because she’s brushed them so much.
Ryan sticks his head in the doorway, smiling. “We’re leaving in an hour. Wear jeans.” He leaves once more.
I grumble to myself as I slide off the stool and do as he tells me to. I may be pretending that it’s a hardship, but I really want some one-on-one time with Ryan.
Especially since we kissed. I can’t help but think about it and what it could mean.
So I get dressed in my best jeans that make my butt look phenomenal and a black V-neck shirt, tucked in. I curl my hair slightly at the end to give it some volume and apply some natural eyeshadow and mascara.
Mia has been playing in the floor as I get ready. She really is the sweetest little angel. She rarely has temper tantrums or does anything she really shouldn’t, but I probably just jinxed myself.
The hour passes fast. I walk into the living room with Mia. Chrystal is sitting on the couch with Cassandra, who just turned a year old a few weeks ago. She is the spitting image of Chrystal.
“Hi guys.” I smile and Mia shakes her hand, trying to lose my grip. I let her go and she runs straight for Cassandra. “Babyyyy!” she screams, raising her arms out to hold her.
Chrystal helps Mia onto the couch and helps her hold Cassandra, who stares at Mia directly into her face. I smile at the sweet image.
Mia pats Cassandra’s little leg gently. “Go to sweep, whittle baby.” She makes little hushing sounds that just make my heart ache at the absolute cuteness.
“I think I have baby fever again,” Chrystal sighs, staring at the both of them. I can’t even deny that I want more kids. It’s gotten to the point I’ve considered getting a sperm donor.
“Ready?” Ryan asks, breaking the moment.
He takes my hand and helps me off of the couch. “Goodbye, angel.” I lean down and kiss the top of Mia’s head, but she pays me no mind.