Niall kept an arm around her as they got to their feet, staying close at her side on their trek to the cave. Once they reached it, Maura saw to the horses and Rhew while Niall and Odran ushered Ciara inside. They stayed near the mouth of the cave, Odran trying to find the best light while he waited for Maura to bring him his bag of healing supplies. Once the other woman brought them in, Odran knelt down in front of Ciara, who was seated with Niall.
“Let’s have a look,” he said, sitting across from her and rummaging through his bag.
Niall helped her discard her wet cloak. Ciara didn’t have the energy to send him away, and part of her wanted his comforting presence. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Maura begin working on a fire, the other woman keeping Rhew at her side. Odran and Niall worked together to flush and clean the wound on Ciara’s finger before Odran was forced to stitch it a second time. It stung, but the pain in her side at least gave her something else to focus on.
“I can give you a tincture to help with your breathing,” Odran said, digging around in his bag again. “And getting you warm ought to help too. Let’s have a look at your side.”
When she untucked her shirt and the fabric brushed against the injury, she let out a small whimper. The soldier’s blade had sliced along the top of her rib cage and she saw Odran grimace when he got a better look.
“Afraid I’m going to have to stitch this too,” he said upon closer inspection. “And it’s going to hurt.”
“Just do it,” she told him, gritting her teeth.
Odran pressed his lips together, and with Niall’s assistance, they cleaned the laceration, Ciara unable to suppress a shudder as the two men worked. When Odran pulled out a needle and catgut, Niall resumed his place at her side, helping her hold up her shirt.
“I’d recommend not looking,” Odran said as he began to thread the needle.
Ciara turned her head away, staring at Niall’s chest. The needle pierced her skin and when Odran began to pull together the separated flesh, she couldn’t hold back her tears. Niall slipped an arm around her and she buried her face in his shoulder. Her jaw ached from clenching it and tears stung her eyes. Niall stroked her hair, murmuring comforting words in Old Pernish while Odran worked. She couldn’t focus on translating what he was saying, but his soothing voice was a welcome distraction. Finally, when she thought she could bear it no longer, the painful tugging at her side ceased.
“Done,” Odran said before grabbing a clean bandage.
She let out a long, low breath, suddenly aware of just how closely she had pressed herself against Niall. She put space between them, unable to meet his gaze as Odran wrapped a bandage around her middle. Once the bandage was tied off, she dropped her shirt and Odran passed her two amber vials.
“Take these,” he said. “Four drops each.”
For a moment, she fumbled with the lids, but Niall took them and opened them for her. She murmured a thank you as he passed them back to her, then put a few drops of the bitter liquids on her tongue. Niall helped her over to the fire, and she was grateful for the warmth of the flames when she sat down.
Her chest still felt tight and she was still cold, but some of her tension eased as she rested her back against the damp wall of the cave. After a few moments, Rhew joined her, the white wolf curling up at her side. Ciara welcomed the wolf’s company and Niall soon joined them, carrying a few blankets. He passed her one, Ciara wrapping it around herself with some difficulty as he settled next to her.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, throwing one of the blankets around his shoulders before spreading the remaining one between them.
“I’ve felt better,” she answered with a grimace.
“I need to thank you,” he said, holding her gaze. “For saving my life. And Maura’s.”
She looked away, fighting the painful lump that had lodged itself in her throat. “I’m only sorry for the lives that were lost.”
He let out a heavy sigh, his expression growing somber as he turned his gaze to the fire. Odran and Maura had joined them and they passed around a few dried goods to make a meager meal. In spite of her pain, Ciara managed to eat, as well as drink a fair amount of water at Odran’s insistence, but before long, she could feel sleep begging to claim her. When she rested her head back against the damp stone behind her, Niall scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
Against her better judgement, she nestled up against him, welcoming his warmth and deciding that for tonight, she wouldn’t fight whatever was between them. She was too tired and everything hurt. She had just started to drift off when she caught Maura staring at them from the other side of the fire. The other woman’s expression was slightly obscured by the smoky haze, but Ciara could see that Maura’s lips were pressed together as she fixed Niall with a pained look. Niall had claimed there was nothing between them, but as Ciara watched the woman across from her, she wasn’t so sure.
“What is it?” he asked, his lips close enough to her ear to send a shiver down her spine.
She shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Get some rest,” he said softly. “We’ll be safe enough for now.”
Once again, she found herself lulled in by the kindness in his voice and his solid, warm presence. It was foolishness, and yet she didn’t want it to end. She could hear the quiet conversation between him and the others as she drifted off to sleep. There would be consequences for her admittedly reckless decision. Hours ago, she was engaged to Bleddyn, and she wasn’t even certain how Niall felt about her anymore. But somehow, in spite of the last six months, it felt like things had returned to how they had always been. Like he was someone she could trust, someone who had her best interests at heart. Tonight, she would let that be enough.
Chapter 18
The Wolf and The Bear
When Niall awoke, he didn’t know how long he had slept, though a quick peek at the mouth of the cave showed him that it was now light outside. Ciara was asleep in his arms with Rhew nestled up beside her. The sight was enough to make his heart ache, knowing that he would never experience such a thing again. He’d fallen asleep holding her and though his body was sore from his cramped position, he didn’t want to move.
It had been an undoubtedly selfish move on his part. He was as drawn to her as he’d always been. Hours ago, with the memories of the faces of the friends he had lost, along with the fear of having a vision while in the company of his newfound companions, he had taken comfort in her presence. The thought of his visions made his stomach tighten. They came and went without any logic or reason and when they did occur, they were almost impossible to explain or understand.
Which is precisely why I shouldn’t be allowing this. The ever-present nagging voice left him with a tightness in his chest, one that only increased when he looked down at Ciara’s peaceful, sleeping form. He’d worried for her well-being and he had allowed his emotions to get the better of him. It was a mistake he couldn’t afford to keep making. He needed to keep her at arm’s length, be her friend, nothing more.
Glancing around the cave, he noticed that Maura was still sleeping as well, wrapped in blankets on the other side of the mostly dead fire. Odran was gone. Niall hoped he was only checking the horses or getting more wood, but the other man’s absence still set him on edge. He had no doubts that Bleddyn would pursue them and his brother’s forces would well outweigh their own.
He got to his feet, careful not to disturb Ciara. She needed whatever rest she could get with her injuries. As he tucked the blankets back around her, she mumbled in her sleep, waking Rhew. He quietly told his wolf to stay where she was and got to his feet. He was relieved to see that Ciara’s breathing was at least deeper and more even than it had been earlier.
Walking to the mouth of the cave, he tried to ignore the tension creeping into his muscles. The rain was gone but the sky was still overcast, making it difficult to tell the time. He would guess it to be after midday.
The horses were tied a few feet away from the cave’s mouth, and their l
ack of concern over their surroundings helped ease some of the tightness in his shoulders. He had glanced back at Ciara and Maura, trying to decide whether or not he should leave them to go look for Odran when his cousin appeared among the thick trees surrounding the cave. Odran was laden with water flasks and his boots were muddy and wet.
“Found a stream nearby,” he said upon reaching Niall. “Haven’t gone for more wood yet.”
“I can go,” Niall replied.
“Is Ciara awake? I need to check her stitches.”
“I am now,” Ciara groggily called before Niall could respond.
Both men looked back at her. She was rubbing her eyes, still looking haggard, though not nearly as pale as she’d been hours ago. Maura was stirring as well and while the thought of more time with Ciara tempted Niall to stay, the cold air was a reminder that they would need the fire to keep warm. Nothing more than a friend, he told himself. Remember?
“I’ll go get that wood,” he told Odran.
Odran nodded and Niall walked back over to grab his cloak, which he had laid out to dry by the fire. He paused on his way out to look over Gealach. The mountain pony was a direct descendent of his father’s own prized stallion, Deatach, and Niall had grown particularly fond of the young horse over the past few years. Once he was certain that Gealach was no worse for the wear after their middle of the night flight, Niall made his way into the woods.
The brisk wind made him grateful he’d brought his cloak, the thick wool helping keep him warm as he walked. Even with the dreary sky, he had to admire the changing color of the beech, oak, and poplar trees that surrounded him. They were shedding their leaves for the muted tones of autumn. Soon, only the evergreens, with their distinct bright green needles, would remain.
As he gathered whatever useful limbs and branches he could find, he tried not to dwell on his worry for Ciara. She had looked better after getting some rest and he knew that Odran was a skilled healer. He picked up a handful of twigs that he hoped would make good kindling and when he straightened, his vision blurred. His body stiffened and he was left powerless as the forest around him faded from view—
He found himself standing beside a river, the water rushing over the rocks far clearer than it ever was in the Mortal Realm. Dense trees were on the other side of the bank and he watched a grey wolf slink through the mixture of poplar, beech, and fir. The caw of a raven caused him to look up, the bird soaring over the river. Blood dripped from its wings, its body an odd mixture of blood and bone. The massive raven turned its red eyes on him and he was left with the startling realization that the creature above him was the Raven Spirit, Cigfran.
Cigfran dove for the wolf, the creature oblivious to the Spirit that hunted it. He attempted to cross the river to reach the wolf but the current was strong, making it impossible to fight the water. He tried to yell but found that he had no voice. The roar of a bear suddenly broke the still air, the threatening noise shaking the ground. The raven cawed, its cry sinister and angry as it darted away from the wolf—
Niall was left disoriented, his breath coming short and fast as he was pulled back out of the Spirit Realm. He dropped the wood he had gathered, leaning heavily against a nearby tree and squeezing his eyes shut. His hands shook, his body drained from the experience. None of it made any sense. It never did, not until long after the event the Spirits were supposedly trying to tell him of. Clenching his jaw, he waited for his strength to return before he collected the scattered wood. Soon he would need rest; exhaustion and fatigue always followed his visions. And this is precisely why I need to stay away from Ciara, he thought as he began the trek back to the cave. He wouldn’t pull her into this.
He swallowed hard. The wind picked up as he walked, scattering dead leaves about the forest floor. When he returned to the cave, he saw that someone had moved the horses to a new place to graze, and it looked as if they had been watered as well. Ciara was sitting huddled in front of the fire when he ducked inside, Rhew still with her. The sight warmed him even as it left his heart aching. Rhew fixed her golden gaze on him, showing no inclination of moving even though he walked up to her. She seemed to have taken to Ciara quickly, not that Niall could blame her.
Ciara’s bloody shirt had been replaced with a clean one and her hair was no longer the tangled mess it had been when she had first awoken. The closer he got to her, the more his chest ached. Even without Bleddyn between them, there was no future for them. A few feet away from Ciara, Maura and Odran were talking among themselves as they pulled various belongings out of their saddlebags. Placing the wood that he’d gathered next to the fire, he knelt down and added a few of the sticks to the glowing embers. When Maura noticed him, she joined him.
“I can get that,” she said. “Odran wanted to talk to you.”
Niall thanked her before walking over to his cousin. Odran had been pulling more dried goods out of saddlebags, but paused when Niall reached him.
“I spoke with Maura,” Odran said, turning to face Niall and keeping his voice low. “We’re maybe a day and a half out from the closest village. I know there’s concern over Bleddyn finding us, but Ciara needs rest.”
“How long?” Niall asked, casting a sidelong glance toward her.
“If we could give her at least a few days or so here, it would help. Maybe a few more days once we reach the village. I had a feeling that Bleddyn would expect us to go south, so I took us north instead. Not so far that we’ll add too much time on the return to Blaidd, but enough that it will hopefully throw him.”
Niall nodded, inwardly thanking the Spirits for Odran’s wise thinking. “If you and Maura think we’re safe enough here, I agree. She needs time to heal.”
“I think we will be for at least a few days. Maura offered to see what game she could find. I don’t want to use any more of our dried goods than we have to, not until we get to the village and purchase more. I told Maura I’d go with her. She made the suggestion that we don’t go out alone at this point, in case we run into any of Bleddyn or Regulus’ men.”
“Probably wise,” Niall replied, his chest tightening again at the thought of how close they were going to be forced to be to one another until they reached Clogwyn. “I’ll stay with Ciara. You go with Maura.”
“Had a feeling that you would prefer to stay with Ciara,” Odran said, giving him a pointed look before he turned back to fishing out a few more small bags.
Slight heat crept up Niall’s neck and he kept his face downcast as he returned to the fire. The emotions that played across Ciara’s face when he sat down next to her were almost enough to make him go back on his earlier vow, but he took a deep breath and worked to school his expression. If he truly cared for her, he needed to do this.
“About last night…” he said, letting out a long, low breath.
She angled her head toward him. “Yes?”
“I didn’t— I’m not in a place right now where I can pursue anything other than friendship. I’m sorry if I may have led you to think otherwise.”
If he didn’t know her as well as he did, he might have missed the slight tension that crept into her shoulders. She recovered quickly, however, though he noticed she didn’t meet his gaze.
“Of course,” she said with a smile that looked far too forced. “Friends. That’s what’s best for both of us right now.”
He fidgeted with his ring, watching her do the same with her bracelet, hating the awkwardness that had now come between them. It’s for the best, he told himself. She deserves more than a life with a monster like me.
“So,” he said, clasping his hands together in front of him and struggling to bring some levity to his voice. “Shall we take a bet on who is going to be the better hunter? The healer or the warrior chief?”
“Odran may surprise you,” she answered, the hint of a real smile tugging at her lips and easing some of the dullness in his chest. “Though I did notice that Maura didn’t take Rhew.”
“Wouldn’t have wanted to give her an unfair advantage,”
he replied with a teasing grin.
She shook her head, unable to hold back her smile this time. Rhew stirred from her nap, the wolf readjusting and resting her head in Ciara’s lap with a quiet grumble. Ciara stroked her behind the ears, the movement slow but some of the tension in her shoulders easing. Niall fought back the painful lump in his throat as he watched them, trying to capture the scene in his memory. He would get her home to her family. That was what was best for her—for both of them. Maybe if he said that enough times, he would start to believe it.
Chapter 19
Uncertain Futures
Taking control of Clogwyn should have been harder. Bleddyn’s warriors, combined with the mercenary forces from the mainland, had easily outnumbered Niall’s pathetically small war band. The fighting had been over within a day and those inside Clogwyn, along with the people of Blaidd, had been informed of Niall’s betrayal. Bleddyn had encountered some resistance to his lie that Niall had tried to kill him and had kidnapped Ciara, especially within the castle itself, but the people at large seemed eager to believe the tale. Bleddyn had assured them that he would dutifully take the role as their new Ri and would hunt down his fugitive brother, and after three days, the overwhelming response from the neighboring villages had been positive.
Comfortably seated in his brother’s study with two mercenaries flanking him, Bleddyn awaited the arrival of Niall’s second-highest warrior, a woman named Suibhe. Like their father, Niall had insisted on giving women such regrettably high places in his war band. As far as Bleddyn was concerned, given the easy defeat of Clogwyn, the choice had been a poor one. Even their mother hadn’t involved herself with the war band when she was alive. Women knowing how to use a weapon was one thing; having them leading entire campaigns was another.
The thoughts of his mother, combined with being back within the walls of Castle Clogwyn, made Bleddyn’s throat tighten. He shook his head, tracing the black scar on his palm to distract himself while he waited for his warrior chief, Bronagh’s, arrival. According to Fiadh, he owed Cigfran for his success. A few months ago, he would have never believed it, but now, having experienced such power for himself, Cigfran’s existence was impossible to dismiss.
The Betrayer: Tales of Pern Coen (Legacy Book 1) Page 14