It was finally Elsa who interrupted Le Roi’s hearty shaking of Lawrence’s hand, and she did not mince words.
“We have no means to repay you,” she said, and the look in her eyes as she stared up at Lawrence was very nearly hostile.
But Lawrence had had a good hard look at the hardships Elsa faced back in Tereo. While they had managed to overcome their problems with Holo’s help, the villagers would surely not have been able to let their guard down in the aftermath.
She might be so poor that they could turn her upside down and shake her and not a single coin would fall to the ground.
Lawrence decided to pay such forthrightness the respect it deserved. “I believe they say good deeds done here on earth will store up wealth in heaven, do they not?”
Elsa was flustered by this, but managed an answer. “One cannot carry one’s coin purse through the gates of heaven, after all.”
“If so, I’d best make myself into a shape better suited to fit through, I should think.”
For a moment, Elsa made a face as though she had swallowed something bitter.
For someone as destitute as her to stay in the inn room of another, it would mean imposing upon them for more than simply accommodations. There would be meals to consider, for one. Lawrence and company were not so heartless that they would dig into their meals while those sitting beside them had nothing.
Elsa was well aware of that and knew also that Lawrence and his companions were extending such a helping hand to her, and it surely pained her.
But thanks to a certain close-at-hand traveling companion of his, Lawrence was well used to dealing with those who found it difficult to accept generosity. “Of course, in this life, I’ll expect what I lend to be repaid.”
In times like these, it was often good to lighten the mood with a joke.
Elsa was no fool, and at this merchant’s consideration for her feelings, she finally offered a faint smile. “We shall impose upon you, then,” she said, and like the devout priestess she was, she clasped her hands and bowed her head, presumably offering a prayer.
Next came the smart sound of clapping hands.
It was none other than Le Roi, looking for all the world like a satisfied matchmaker at a wedding. “Well, well, this certainly is a burden off my chest! Splendid, splendid!”
“I suppose I ought to help as well. If it’s just you, sir, you may stay here,” said Philon, indicating the surface of his desk – though surely he was not saying that Le Roi ought to sleep on the desk itself. “There may well be others who come staggering drunkenly in, but as long as you don’t mind them…”
“Of course not! Ah, God’s will be done! Surely His blessings will be upon your head, Mr. Philon–”
Philon made a distasteful face and waved his hands as though shooing a dog away. Le Roi, however, did not seem particularly offended by this.
After this, he explained that Elsa’s belongings were on a mule outside, so the two went out together.
Lawrence briefly gave his regards to Philon and was about to leave the shop when he noticed Holo, still entirely put out.
“Displeased?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
“I wouldn’t say I’m displeased,” pouted Holo.
Lawrence found himself smiling at the exchange, which reminded him of another they had shared – when he had asked if she minded whether a certain shepherdess traveled with them to the city.
At the time, he had mistaken her anger to mean that she wanted to travel with him and him alone, just the two of them. In the end, she had seen through his misunderstanding and teased him mercilessly for it.
So what would happen now?
In the few seconds it took to descend the stone steps from the shop, Lawrence gazed at Holo’s irritated profile, then finally spoke. “So you’ve no problem at all, then?”
Holo stopped mid-descent. Col was following immediately behind her and, unable to stop in time, ran right into her.
Pushed by Col, Holo took another step forward, but nonetheless did not look away from Lawrence.
“I-I’m sorry…?” said Lawrence.
Continuing to stare at Lawrence, Holo took Col’s hand and very purposefully interlaced her fingers with his. “Just as you said, I’ve no problem at all.”
She finished by sticking her tongue out at him, then walking off, pulling Col along with her.
Le Roi looked up as he noticed the two, then looked over to Lawrence.
“They’re heading back to the inn room to tidy up ahead of us,” said Lawrence. There was no reason to doubt it.
Le Roi nodded. “You’ve taught them well,” he said, impressed.
Elsa, unloading her things from the mule, paused at hearing those words. She turned her amber eyes to Lawrence. “Is that so…?”
Hey now, thought Lawrence, until the impossible hit him: She was attempting to make a joke.
Just as meeting Fran had profoundly affected Col, Elsa, too, seemed to have changed since they had last met. Or perhaps this was a face that Evan the miller saw frequently.
Lawrence’s idle musings were cut off by Elsa saying, “I’m ready.”
Most of the mule’s load had been unloaded, and just as Lawrence was wondering if he would be able to handle it all himself, he saw Elsa take up a small shoulder bag.
Evidently it had been packed away in the very back of the luggage.
Given the size of the bag, it probably held things that Elsa could not afford to lose – parchments with certifications on them and letters from noblemen in various places.
Holo was traveling as a nun, but a true woman of the cloth had a different sort of aura about her.
“Well, shall we go?” said Lawrence.
“I leave myself in your care,” said Elsa, her eyes as stern as ever.
Chapter Two
Col’s clothes were in a terrible state, too.
His coat was full of seams and patches, and its edges frayed. His trousers were too short, leaving his ankles bared, and his sandals were thinner than a slice of meat carved by a stingy butcher.
He was underfed, too, and looked light enough that a stiff breeze could blow him away.
There was a difference, though, between simply having no money and the honorable poverty of the Church.
Elsa was tired, and her cheeks slightly sunken, and her clothes were of no great quality. Yet as she sat, she nonetheless emanated a noble sort of power, surely from the light she held within herself.
Even when told to sit on the bed, Elsa would hear none of it; somehow, they managed to get her to sit in a chair, and instead of wine, they gave her a nourishing drink made of ginger, honey, and hot sheep’s milk.
She did not hesitate to accept it, but likewise did not hesitate in thanksgiving.
While not at all threatening, she did nevertheless have a certain unmistakable dignity about her.
She put the drink to her lips, drank, then sighed in relief. Lawrence saw this and echoed her sentiment.
“The reason I left the village?” When it came to Elsa, she could not be bribed with food, but it was clear that her nerves had been much calmed.
“Yes. To be honest, I just can’t figure it out.” Lawrence made his simple curiosity clear as he poured wine into a cup, a gesture done to keep Elsa company as she drank.
“I’m looking for someone,” came Elsa’s unexpected answer.
“Looking… for someone?”
“Not a specific person, though.” She put her cup to her lips and, after sipping quietly from it, closed her eyes. A deep sigh departed from her.
Having gotten used to Holo and Col’s heartier eating and drinking, watching Elsa was like watching a noble lady.
“I’m looking for someone who can enter the holy service of the Church.”
“But–” said Lawrence, just as Elsa opened her eyes and smiled a thin smile.
“Thanks to you, the flame of faith has been kindled in Tereo. Moreover, your incredible power destroyed Enberch’s schemes. Now ther
e are even people from Enberch who come all the way to our village to buy sweets.”
As she spoke the words “incredible power,” Elsa glanced at Holo. There were thanks in her gaze, which Holo surely noticed, even though she was gazing out the window. She was gnawing on a piece of jerky, as though none of this had anything to do with her.
Holo was intractable as always, but her wolf’s ears flicked by way of reply.
Elsa knew Holo’s true form, so there was no need for her to wear her uncomfortable hood currently.
“The people of Enberch do not know the details of our village. They would surely be surprised to learn I alone tend the church. Of course, the Enberch bishop’s lips have been well sealed, but he will not behave himself forever.”
The church was a near-total patriarchy. While some famous abbeys had female abbesses at their head, those were abbeys – not churches.
Elsa sipped from her cup as though swallowing that very unfairness, then coughed lightly. She had probably swallowed a chunk of ginger.
“Ahem… excuse me. So I’ve come in search of someone who can take on this holy duty in our village. For such a task, I can hardly send mere letters out, hither and yon.”
“You need to find someone who’ll measure up to you, then?” Lawrence said with a bit of mischief in his voice, at which Elsa chuckled.
He suspected that Elsa enjoyed putting on her stiff-shouldered performance. “Of course. My father, Father Franz, left the church in my care. I must find an individual worthy of that.”
The man who had raised Elsa, Father Franz, had also compiled a book on the pagan deity worshiped in Tereo. Not only had he easily deflected the accusations of heresy that came as a result, but he had also established ties with powerful people in many places, building an independent church within the village – an accomplished man, to be sure.
Of course, there was certain jest in Elsa’s tone. She was perfectly aware of the distance between her ideals and the likely reality.
“That’s the primary reason for my travels, but…” said Elsa, looking to Holo.
Holo looked over her shoulder with a question on her face, at which Elsa smiled such a kind smile that it took Lawrence by surprise – so she could make such expressions.
“I’ve become aware of how truly ignorant of the world I am. I was hoping this journey would give me a chance to see more of the world.”
“Mm,” said Holo through her nose, as though approving of such resolve. Holo herself had been removed from the flow of the world, having spent all those centuries in the wheat fields. She was a bit ahead of Elsa in that area, so perhaps Elsa thought of her as something of a mentor.
Lawrence smiled a defeated smile, then turned back to Elsa. “That must have been a difficult decision to make, surely.”
As a traveling merchant, he had had occasion to see just how it was that small villages often regarded the larger world. There were even those who were quite certain that aside from their town or village, the entire rest of the world had quite literally fallen to ruin. Regardless how strong her faith in God was, it was quite extraordinary for a woman to venture out the way Elsa had.
At Lawrence’s implied question, Elsa regarded him, saying nothing. At her chest hung a hand-carved symbol of the Church, quite unlike when Lawrence had first seen her in Tereo.
It would have been foolish to ask who had made it.
When Lawrence had left Tereo, beside Elsa had stood a certain brave – if uncertain – boy.
“Of course, I thought to give up on it many times, but I’ve had God’s guidance all the way.”
Holo had come to hate being treated as a god after so many centuries of it, but that did not mean she much enjoyed people talking about other gods around her. She flicked one of her perfectly triangular wolf ears sideways and listened.
“That bookseller, you mean?” said Lawrence, and Elsa nodded slowly.
“That’s right.”
“You seem to encounter the strangest people,” Lawrence found himself saying without thinking. He suddenly realized his blunder, but Elsa merely laughed.
She then covered her mouth with her hand. “Apologies,” she said. “But I can see why you would think so,” she added. “I had only met him once before, but I knew he was a longtime acquaintance of Father Franz. And in Father’s letters, it was written that this was a man I could trust in times of hardship. If Father trusted him, then I ought to trust him, too. No matter how silly or greedy he might appear to be.”
Lawrence could not imagine Elsa simply falling for the act of such a canny merchant. His guess seemed not to have been wrong, but he still felt as though his assumptions were being criticized in a roundabout sort of way.
Lawrence scratched his head, and Elsa took a deep breath, then began to speak as though delivering a sermon.
“I would be lying if I said I hadn’t had my own worries, but he’s a very sincere man. Of course, there’s no mistaking his avarice – but you might say that avarice is where his sincerity comes from.”
She had a good eye for people.
At this, Lawrence finally saw what sort of person the bookseller was.
“So what you mean is that he’s after Father Franz’s library, then,” Lawrence said flatly, at which Elsa gave him a pleasant smile.
“There’s no one like him in the village, you see. At first I was quite bewildered, but… then I realized there’s no great difference between being faithful to your own avarice and being faithful to the teachings of God. He’s tried everything he can think of to get me to tell him where Father Franz’s library is – but always amicably.”
Lawrence, too, had wanted to get to the library, in order to learn about the location of Holo’s homeland. But the method he had used to do so was hardly praiseworthy. He had used Elsa’s piety against her, and there in the church’s sanctuary had cornered her into helping them.
When he thought about it now, it again occurred to him what a sinful thing he had done.
He looked, and Elsa’s smile was gone. She looked at him intently.
He averted his gaze, ever the weak traveling merchant, and looked to Holo – but despite her complicity, she seemed to think none of this had anything to do with her.
“So that is his aim, and when I told him I was of a mind to travel to this town, he was only too happy to agree. The journey was difficult… if it had gone on much longer, I might have finally told him the library’s location.”
Her first journey would have been one long series of new experiences. If she had someone reliable at her side, she might well come to trust in them unconditionally, like a newly hatched chick regarding the first thing it saw as its parent.
But even so, Le Roi might well be a person worthy of such trust, as a truly experienced merchant would be.
“All the great saints left their homes and journeyed, secluding themselves away in remote forests or deserts, and I finally understand why. Going out into the world for the first time, I have truly understood how weak humans are.”
It was an observation worthy of the clergy, and Lawrence nodded with a faint smile. No doubt Col, who could understand her position even better than Lawrence could, was nodding with his serious little face.
“Which is why I’ve finally been able to answer a question that’s plagued me ever since you and your companions left my village.”
These words piqued Holo’s interest as well as Lawrence’s. She removed her gaze from the window and over to Elsa.
“A question?”
“Yes. The question of why, when you have such power, you would choose even now to travel with a simple horse-drawn wagon.”
It was something Lawrence had considered many times himself. If he borrowed Holo’s power, he could become incredibly wealthy in no time at all. There were any number of ways it might be done…
But he had not done so, and even when his very life had been in danger, he had searched for ways to escape that did not involve relying on Holo’s power – even when Holo herself
was ready to act.
Partially, this was because he wanted to preserve some semblance of pride in front of Holo. But there was another thought at the root of it all.
“I’ve become painfully aware of just how powerless I am. Borrowing the power of my companion will not make that weakness disappear. So I try to rely on my own abilities. Or…” He paused to look over at Holo, if only to disguise his own embarrassment. “… Or to ask for her help in addition to my strengths. Don’t try to fill a small bowl with a large amount – every merchant knows this,” concluded Lawrence. “Whenever I’ve embarrassed myself, it’s because I broke this rule.”
Holo cackled.
“They say the world is vast, and it’s true.” Elsa looked down at the contents of the cup in her hand and quietly closed her eyes. Elsa, ever as sharp as a drawn blade, seemed now deeper than she had before.
People do not stay as they were when one met them, Holo had cried, in this very city. And it was true – people changed.
And even as such change was unavoidable, it was also not always for the worse. Lawrence’s path since meeting Holo had, if anything, been a more optimistic one than before. But did Holo feel the same way? As she looked out the window, her ears fell the same way they did whenever she was trying to endure embarrassment.
She might well be angry at him later.
“I give thanks to God that we have been able to meet again.”
At Elsa’s simple, unadorned statement, Lawrence nodded heartily.
Travel brought with it many encounters, and likewise many discoveries. Some were reminders of the world’s vastness, while others illustrated one’s own smallness. Just as one might be struck by a breathtaking vista, one might also feel pain at seeing the aftermath of a terrible battle.
Or – one might simply experience the shock of the fragrance of another culture.
Elsa’s expression as she regarded what seemed for all the world to be a cut of red meat before her was the very image of this shock, no matter how clearly it was said that it was in fact a fish tail.
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