“Shall I send someone with you?”
It was a very kind offer. Lawrence shook his head side to side.
“Very soon our preparations will be finished and we shall head out. The route we’re taking is southeast, through the section past the butcher shop. There might be old comrades who wish to flee with us, so we’ll be waiting outside the town for them for a little while. If you can make it in time, by all means…”
He must have said similar things to people he had left behind on numerous battlefields. The way Moizi said it exuded the thought, We’ll be thinking of you.
Lawrence made a firm nod and asked, “Any sign of danger outside?”
“There is no sense of panic from so-called tidings of war. I think there is no danger of robbery or murder. But the Debau Company surely has people watching to see where and how others will move. In that sense, I cannot recommend strolling about.”
Surely, what made Moizi and the other one so calm was that they had no doubt faced the far more desperate situation of being surrounded by town walls many times over. The youngster beside him bore a face like a child who had set something on fire in a far-off district under cover of darkness.
“You’ve been of great assistance.” Lawrence spoke the departing words proper for any traveling merchant.
All Moizi replied was, “May you allow us to aid you once more.”
“By all means.”
Moizi and the youngster alike spoke with earnest faces. “May the fortunes of war favor you.”
A little while later, the mercenaries quietly left the inn.
When he looked down at the town from his room, the atmosphere was certainly odd.
These past several days, without exception, there had still been many people dancing and drinking at this hour, but there had been something shabby about it all.
Like a festering wound, there was no longer only the degenerate atmosphere, like overripe pomegranates; he felt a kind of refined ill will hidden somewhere.
Assembling mercenaries meant with certainty that real power within the Debau Company had shifted.
In kingdoms and dominions, it was normal for a new ruling faction to kill off the old. There was no reason to suffer to live those who might come for one’s head while one slept. Decapitation was so accepted that a new king merely exiling the old ruling faction was considered shocking leniency to many among the masses.
However, a trading company was not such a simple beast. Trading involved special knowledge and acquaintances in numerous places – things one did not acquire in a single day. Surely there were not many people they could find to replace Hilde, let alone the owner of Debau.
In that sense, Lawrence did not think they would be killed so lightly.
However, it could be done at any time. One light swing of a sword and a man’s head would fall. He knew well from public executions in the towns he had visited what a mysteriously easy thing it was.
As he gazed out the window, he had no sense of being watched by anyone, but as he was not Holo, he did not want to put much faith in that.
Having nowhere else to go, with all others having left, he remained in his room.
Besides, clumsily moving about the town would backfire if Hilde did want to make contact with Lawrence.
The situation was bad. It was better to leave town while he still could. He was separated far from Holo, but if he left word at this and that town he would no doubt meet her again in no time.
But he wanted to meet with Hilde before that, even if only for a brief moment. He did not want to speak of plans to strike back. Lawrence had neither the intellect nor the courage for such a thing. If he could, he wanted to persuade Hilde to flee without attempting anything rash.
Even though Hilde was a Debau Company insider, he was a comrade of Holo’s in a broad sense. Lawrence thought he wanted to save Hilde all the more because, morality-wise, Hilde too wanted to bring peace and tranquility to this land. For Hilde, fighting for his own ideals, to continue to fight until death after having lost any chance of victory would not be an amusing tale to anyone’s ears.
That being the case, he thought it better for Hilde to escape with at least his life and aim to recover later.
More than anything, if Hilde did not perish, Holo would not have to see yet another ember from her own era extinguished.
To Lawrence, that was more important than anything else.
It was then that he heard a sound from downstairs.
Since the Myuri Mercenary Company had rented the entirety of the inn, the inn’s owner and servants, which would ordinarily be occupying the building, were staying at a nearby residence. Now that the mercenaries renting the inn were gone, there should not have been anyone there.
That being the case, the potential visitors were very few.
Lawrence adjusted his collar, cleared his throat a little, double-checked the location of his dagger, and left the room.
The inn felt much colder without any people in it.
His breath was turning white, making him realize all over again just how much a building was warmed by the people inside it.
As his eyes had adjusted to the darkness, he went downstairs without a candlestick.
As he heard small sounds, the sound of his heart grew heavier.
When Lawrence moved to leisurely head out through the first-floor tavern, he sensed a faint light coming from the hallway that continued to the rear entrance. When he headed that way, the door of the back entrance was slightly ajar.
It was difficult for him to believe that in an inn rented by a mercenary company even keener eyed than a merchant, someone would have just forgotten to close the door. Lawrence stayed put and thought about it for a while when he finally noticed something white in the corner of his vision.
“Mr. Hilde?”
To the side of the rear entrance was a storage shed without a door.
When Lawrence called out in a low voice, a single hare appeared without hesitation.
However, the hare was not uniformly white. There was an incision from a stab behind the shoulder of his front right leg, leaving his fur ripped. His right forepaw was as crimson as if it had been dipped in a vat of dye.
Lawrence did not need to ask what had happened.
“Mr. Hilde, are you all right?”
“Yes… I have not been killed, at the least.”
The hare’s face remained impassive as a falsely brave smile came over Lawrence.
“What’s the situation?”
As Lawrence inquired, Hilde’s long ears promptly moved, speaking in an energetic tone that belied his wounds. “There is no time. I will convey only that most crucial.”
There was no mistaking the fact that he was on the run.
“The radicals have seized complete power. They have forced the signature of a document transferring all authority. I and my master have lost power. However, they know it will be difficult to manage the company without us. I believe it is not likely they will kill us.”
That perfectly matched Lawrence’s expectations.
The words that came next did, too.
“However, I am not giving up.” As Hilde spoke, he turned around and hopped, dragging his leg, going inside the shed.
He returned right away, holding a sealed scroll in his mouth.
“Also considering that Miss Holo will obtain the book, I must not give up now.”
“… What do you intend to do?” Lawrence inquired.
The Debau Company possessed silver and copper bountiful enough, it was as if they flowed right out of a well. Even with Holo, this was absolutely not an opponent Lawrence could take on, all the more so now with it filled with fervor and vigor. He wondered how one might fight the lords among their allies.
“If one leaves this town and heads northeast along roads passing through the mountains, there is a town there called Svernel.”
When Lawrence thought about it, he realized he had heard the name of that town from Luward’s lips.
“Svernel is one of the few towns to oppose us until the bitter end. As wool and amber circulate through it, they no doubt believe they will lose their position. Also, it occupies a critical position geographically, so it is an easy place for those who see us as enemies to gather together. So, please…”
With that, Hilde used his nose to push the sealed scroll at his feet toward Lawrence.
“… deliver this there. It contains a request for aid in stopping the radicals.”
On the theory that the enemy of my enemy is my friend, no doubt.
However, Lawrence hesitated to agree to it.
“My bird comrade knows that Svernel was my fallback plan. It is not likely he would be separated from Miss Holo. Ah yes, I do have another letter as well.”
Hilde looked at Lawrence as he spoke.
He seemed to be mistaking Lawrence’s hesitation for wondering why there were two letters.
“There is a lord farther north of Svernel who is uncooperative with us. Nearly all of the lords in that area are against us. They cannot cooperate with those who ravage the land and who bring about change, they say. Once they hear of the radicals, they may well rise up.”
It was precisely because these lords had not buckled to the Debau Company’s overwhelming power and momentum that made them reassuring allies for bringing the current Debau Company to heel. Certainly, that way of thinking might well be correct; at the very least, Lawrence thought it might serve as something to cling to in this situation.
However, despite the smile on Hilde’s face after he spoke, his expression looked close to tears.
His heart broken, Hilde had been worn down to the point it was astounding he had not given up.
“I beg you, Mr. Lawrence. Deliver these letters to Svernel. And with Miss Holo, please shatter the momentum of the radicals.”
Hilde’s right foreleg seemed to have lost nearly all its strength.
That was why the attitude he took seemed extremely unnatural before Lawrence’s eyes.
What made Lawrence wince was how he looked like a man with business left unfinished, clinging to this world even after death. It looked like the matter had already been completely decided. If he was to follow the logic as a merchant, it was absolutely impossible to turn this situation around.
There were no other words that he should have been saying.
But no words came out at all.
Persuading someone of something meant changing their way of thinking.
He did not think any half-baked persuasion would have a chance of success against someone well and truly prepared to die.
And yet, faced with someone unafraid of death and resolved to die for his beliefs, Lawrence was unable to accept Hilde’s letters.
He could not irresponsibly get drawn into the other side’s tale.
Let alone when that tale seemed to be above the clouds themselves.
As Lawrence made no move, Hilde called out his name. “Mr. Lawrence.”
Lawrence suddenly regained his senses and looked at Hilde.
The wounded Hilde looked up at Lawrence, his face expressionless as he spoke.
“Do you believe the conflict is already decided?”
As Hilde had seen right through him to the core of his being, Lawrence could not smooth over his expression.
However, Hilde only strengthened his tone even further.
“I have encountered many crises thus far and have overcome them all, you see. I will overcome this one as well. Though this time…” He glanced behind his shoulder. “… the odds are particularly poor.”
On Lawrence’s travels with Holo, Lawrence had seen a number of situations where there had been no visible option but to give up. Even so, he was here now because he absolutely had not given up; had his being bad at surrender ever backfired, he might well be on a slave ship or in the ground right now.
He thought himself rather conceited in wanting to use logic to dissuade another from digging his heels in.
Hilde was without doubt the main character of Hilde’s tale. He had conquered all difficulties so far, having earned his great successes. So it was natural Hilde would think, I shall not yield to this difficulty, either.
But for the first time, Lawrence felt how cruel this looked when viewed objectively.
He knew it was already too late for Hilde. The only one who did not know it was him, still believing that the goddess of fortune was on his side.
Lawrence averted his eyes, for he could not hold onto the words he should have spoken.
“I decided I would move forward with Debau, that I would absolutely not stray from the path, come what may. Perhaps that makes an idiot of me, but I think it just fine nonetheless.”
Hearing such resolve put him in a corner. Lawrence lifted a hand to restrain him.
Hilde did not retreat an inch.
“I strive to know how difficult it is to survive just for the sake of surviving. It is the same as being alone in all the world. Mr. Lawrence, I believe that you understand the meaning of these words. That is why you and Miss Holo, in human form–”
“Please stop.” As Hilde halted his words, Lawrence said once again, “Please stop. There are things one can cooperate with and things one cannot. That applies even between Holo and I.”
He understood Hilde’s feelings in absolutely not wanting to give in, but Lawrence had praised Holo for giving up so many things.
Giving things up was essential and in no way made one a beaten dog.
There truly are things one must give up to be able to move forward.
He wondered which held true in Hilde’s instance.
Lawrence and Hilde stared firmly at each other.
“Please take care of the letters.”
That was all Hilde said before hopping off.
Lawrence did not budge an inch even now, moving only his mouth.
“I won’t accept them.”
For a moment, those words stopped Hilde in his tracks, but in the end, he resumed hopping off without turning. Lawrence wondered how many allies Hilde had amid this overwhelming, sudden reversal of fortune. There probably was not anyone left who could take that letter to Svernel.
As Hilde’s small body wobbled, he vanished out of the gap of the back entrance’s door through which a red light filtered. The door gently closed, and all that remained were the two letters and silence. Lawrence did not think delivering them would change the state of the battle; if he was not careful, the Debau Company would have his head removed as a saboteur.
However, to simply deliver them was no impossible thing.
Lawrence thought as much but shook his head and told himself to think clearly. If he was to deliver the letters, what advantage was there for him? What was it that he could lose? Everything could be thought of in terms of loss and gain, and that’s how he needed to think.
Those who held views antagonistic to the Debau Company to begin with might well raise the flag of rebellion in spite of their great fear. Surely the current Debau Company was something to fear all the more.
Hilde no doubt thought that if the Debau Company’s advance on Svernel could be temporarily halted, gaps would arise that could be exploited. When steel cools, it is far more difficult to work it into the shape one desires. And weighing profit and loss doing business in swords and shields was everyday work for Hilde and his ilk. If it were so, the Debau Company might well be put back in its sheath.
However, all of this depended on talk like “maybe” and “therefore.” In the present situation, it was abundantly clear just how much of a dream the town was. Hilde and Debau’s hopes would be smashed, the utopia they had given birth to trampled under the feet of soldiers. In this world, not everyone’s dreams could come true. It pained Lawrence, too. It was unfortunate.
Hilde and Debau had failed before reaching the very last step.
It was idiotic to cling to one’s expectations like this. No matter how magnificent and sublime the story had been, surely it could not be more important than their l
ives.
Lawrence closed his fists, left the letters as they were, and walked away. With negotiations having broken down, all Lawrence could do was to rendezvous with the Myuri Mercenary Company and make himself at least a tiny bit safer.
That was the correct choice; there was nothing mistaken about it whatsoever.
He was not saying every single ember that threatened him had to be snuffed out, but there was no reason to toss himself into the cauldron of hell. There was every possibility that surrendering the forbidden book would backfire. Furthermore and most importantly, Lawrence and Holo had no reason to place themselves directly in danger. Quite the contrary, carrying the letters to Svernel looked without hope, and such action would put him at direct personal risk.
Logically, everything added up; Holo would surely agree.
If there was nothing that could be done, surely it meant he needed to give up, make his escape, and live for the future.
However, the more distance Lawrence put between himself and the storage shed, the more painful his heart grew and the heavier his steps.
He was of course painfully aware of what the cause was.
It went without saying once more that, just as if one had something they must do but had no time to do it, being unable to trust someone meant being all alone in the world.
A traveling merchant wanted a store of his own because he wanted a physical place he could call home. He wanted something to serve as the result of his successes.
And above all else, he wanted a store to leave behind after he passed away; if a person had someone they trusted to succeed them, there surely existed no better way to move on in peace.
Lawrence knew how marvelous such good fortune was. He was frighteningly aware of just how trusting someone and being trusted by that someone provided the fuel to live on.
And now Hilde had probably lost both.
The hare on the run wanted to say this to Lawrence: It is unfair for only you to be happy.
“Shit.”
Lawrence spat it out. It was as though Hilde had cast a curse upon him.
If Lawrence had been able to be happy while watching the happiness of others die, he would likely have been a merchant with a bit more money.
Spice & Wolf Omnibus Page 284