by Devon Ashley
I couldn’t have been out there more than five minutes, letting the cool air pacify my mood, before gravel began crunching behind me. “Shane,” a voice said. I turned to a girl about my age, with straight brown hair and brown eyes, who held her head tipped at an angle, her eyes giving me the once over. I recognized the face, but for the life of me, I couldn’t place it. “Um… Yeah. You’re…” I actually pointed at the poor girl. Think, think, think!
“Karen,” she said slowly, like she was speaking to a child or something. Hell, I forgot her name; I hardly needed her to spell it out.
“Karen. Right. Sorry.”
“For what, exactly?” she asked, her eyebrows tapering off with either annoyance or confusion, but which was still up for debate. “Forgetting my name even though I sat next to you in home room for four years?”
My lips parted, but I kept my mouth from dropping completely. Karen. As in Mel’s best friend. Oh, crap.
“Oh, that’s right. Sorry. It’s nothing personal. I think I’ve blocked out quite a bit from high school,” I lied.
“Oh,” she replied, flashing me a smile we both knew was fake. Out of nowhere, her palm met the flesh of my cheek. Shit, that girl could hit! Fire singed my skin, and as much as I was screaming on the inside, I kept the reaction from going verbal. My fingers rubbed my face and adjusted my jaw, just in time to hear her repeat my words. “Sorry. It’s nothing personal. But do the world a favor and stay the fuck away from Melanie. After everything she’s been through, she deserves a prince, not…you,” she added with disgust.
“After what she’s been through?” I rudely replied, my jaw aching as it said the words, the flesh still screaming with pain. “What about Brad?”
Her eyes popped with amusement. “Seriously? Ask around. See if Brad has any fans in this town. Why the hell you’re sticking up for that loser is beyond me. But then again, you weren’t smart enough to realize what you could’ve had with Melanie before you went and fucked it all up, so maybe you’re right on target with your level of stupidity.”
Now I remembered why I didn’t like her all that much.
“Do you know the things she’s done?” I snapped.
“Of course I do, dumbass. I’m the one that’s been around for it all. What about you? Where in the hell were you when hell froze over?”
“That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think? In what way has her life been so traumatic that it qualifies as apocalyptic?” I meant for it to be snide and rhetoric, but the way Karen was suddenly looking at me with glazed-over eyes and a dumbfounded expression, made me ponder my own words.
“You really don’t know what the hell’s been going on, do you?”
I knew Mel was a fucking liar, claiming Brad to be a baby daddy when he couldn’t physically even qualify to be one. But I held my tongue. The whole town didn’t need to know about his condition. Let them think what they wanted. The DNA test would prove his innocence soon enough.
Playing it off, I threw my hands up in frustration. I would love for someone to finally open their fucking mouth and tell me already. Mel sure as hell hadn’t been forthcoming. “Enlighten me, Karen. Make me feel sorry for what’s happened to her in a way that’s going to get me to surpass my feelings about what she did to Brad.”
Good fucking luck.
She surprised me when she softly replied a simple no. After all that anger, she suddenly looked at me like I was the one worth pitying or something. “If she hasn’t told you yet, then she doesn’t trust you. Which tells me I need to keep my mouth shut.”
Too late for that joyous occasion.
“Just stay away from her, Shane. She’s lost so much, and I know she hurts. That little boy is the only thing keeping her going and she doesn’t need you fucking with what life they’ve managed to scrape together.”
When I didn’t answer, she turned and walked into the bar, and as much as I felt relieved to see her go, I couldn’t fight the curiosity of wondering what in the hell had been happening around here since I left. I followed her in a moment later and made my way to our table. Chelsie was off waiting on others, so I said, “Hey, Matt.”
“Yo.”
“How much do you know about Mel after high school?”
“Uh, not much. Why?” He sounded really curious but his eyes were determined to follow Chelsie around the room.
“Her friend Karen said something about her having a really hard time since graduation but she wouldn’t elaborate. Do you know what she was talking about?”
“Uh…well, I guess getting pregnant and being a single mom and all, but I didn’t even know about that until you told me. I never saw her after high school until I started coming here two years ago.”
“The guy that knocked her up was never in the picture?”
“I don’t think so. But there was that whole thing with her parents.”
I felt the skin on my forehead wrinkle. Pregnant teenager, the so-called daddy absent…that probably didn’t sit well with the authority figures. “They kick her out or something?”
“No, man. Nothing like that. Don’t quote me, but I think they died.”
“What?” I snapped, my neck swinging so quickly it hurt. I probably just gave myself whiplash. “What do you mean they died? When?” I asked in a panic. I only met her parents a few times, but her mother was always so kind to me. And her dad…well, he acted like any father would whose daughter was hanging out with two teenage guys, but he was really cool at times, too.
“Dude. I’m serious. Don’t quote me. I may be confusing her with someone else. Melanie and I weren’t as tight as you guys. We were just friends by mutual friend association. You know, acquaintances. I don’t really know a whole lot about her. Why don’t you ask Chelsie? They’ve been working together for a year now. Maybe Melanie’s opened up to her about a few things.”
“Do me a favor,” I said, almost whining. “You ask Chelsie. I don’t think she’ll open up to me if she knows Mel and I aren’t getting along.”
He replied with an, “All right,” about the same time my phone went off. Seeing that it was Brad, I stepped outside again, catching Mel watch me all the way out, eyes scrunching even more with each second. Karen sat before her at the bar, also staring me down as I pushed my way out. Hopefully she won’t sic her friend on me again.
“Hey,” I said, answering the phone. “You coming yet?”
“Tomorrow. Bus arrives around five,” he said, slurring his S’s.
“Good, man, good.”
“You find out who the bitch is yet?” he asked slowly, struggling to form each word because he truly seemed to need to think each one beforehand.
I said no without hesitation, rolling my eyes at myself for lying. Why the hell couldn’t I tell him the truth? He’d been nothing but honest with me, even telling me a secret he probably never wanted anyone to know, and I just kept omitting the truth about Mel. In all fairness, he deserved to know. But something inside me pushed to protect her, to believe she wasn’t as heartless as she was coming off. That maybe she just made a mistake about who the father was. Or more simply, just wished Brad was the father and went with it, never thinking anything would ever come of it.
Unfortunately for her, two-hundred grand came from laying that claim, and it lit up her deception like a beacon in the night.
I hated this. Hated being mad at Shane for thinking so little of me. But wasn’t it my fault? He’d accused me of being a cheater, a liar, even fraudulent, and I hadn’t done anything to correct him on it. I just kept freezing. I wanted to tell him I wasn’t any of those things, but every time he yelled at me about it, I just stood there, my mind completely going blank, mouth open but nothing coming out.
Why couldn’t I just tell him? What was holding my tongue? I was beginning to worry that I knew the answer to that question. That it was fear that kept me quiet. Fear that even after knowing the truth, he’d still side with the guy who had always been his best friend. How the hell did someone like me really expect to sway that?
Regardless, it ate me up, not telling him. Maybe if I bared my soul, I’d be able to move on, even if it was without him in my life.
“Do you think I should tell him the truth?”
“Melanie, listen to me,” Karen said. I forced my gaze away from the bar entrance and turned her way. Her face firm, her voice was adamant. “You don’t owe him anything. Not even the truth. We both know he’s here for Brad and Brad alone. You two might’ve gotten all flirty the other night, but don’t mistake his hormonal interest in you for anything more than it is. He wanted you because he’s never gotten to have you. We both know where his loyalty lies.”
Harsh, but true. “Do we really know that?” I asked anyway, hoping she’d contradict herself, even if it was to appease me.
“I’d always choose you over a hot guy,” she said lightheartedly, earning a weak smile from me.
“Thank you,” I replied. At least someone had my back. Which made me believe even more that Shane would stick with Brad regardless.
“I just…” I leaned over the bar so I could say it more privately. “I hate that he thinks I’m a horrible person. Even if he chooses against me, I’d still have the truth on my side, you know?” I had to take a moment to fill a drink order, but when I came back I asked, “You don’t think Brad will actually come here, do you?”
She practically choked on the HA! as she expelled it from her mouth. “Please. It’d be his deathbed if he did. If ever there was a chance in getting Shane to switch sides, coming here and doing the paternity test might just do it. He can’t deny DNA.”
I flattened my palms on my forehead, rubbing up and down, careful to avoid my eye makeup. “I don’t understand why he’s doing this. Well, I do, but to try to take back the money by challenging paternity? What the hell?”
“The money’s yours, girlfriend, I don’t care what Shane tries to tell you or guilt you into. Everyone knows you deserved that payout after everything you went through.”
Chelsie came up then, and I’m pretty sure she caught the tail end of our conversation, seeing as how she thought it was safe to say, “They’ve been asking about you. Two Bud Lite drafts, one whiskey sour and a bourbon and coke.”
I mindlessly fulfilled her order, all the while thinking about what she said. “What do they want to know?”
“Something about your parents. And how you knew that Montgomery woman.”
My eyes bugged out and I accidentally overflowed one of the beers. Flicking the foam off my hand and drying the outside of the glass, I asked, “What did you tell them?”
She simply shrugged. “That I didn’t know anything. I figured if you wanted them to know that stuff, then they’d already know the answer to those questions.”
God bless her. She didn’t rat me out. Not even to score a few more points with Matt.
“Thank you,” I said, giving her the first real smile my lips had made that night.
“Your secrets are safe with me,” she replied as she saluted me, sliding her tray off the bar, heading out to deliver the drinks.
“Well,” Karen said, pausing to suck her drink through the stir straw, “at least he’s curious enough to wonder what your side of the story is. I’d be worried if he wasn’t trying to decode your life these past few years. Seems a small part of hell is freezing over, so maybe your little snowball’s got a chance after all.”
One more sucky night down the drain. Even though I couldn’t keep this whole Brad-Mel thing out of my head, I couldn’t keep myself from waking up aroused just like every other freaking morning. Damn thing didn’t care that Mel was probably bad news – it just had one thing on its mind and that involved some skin on skin contact.
I threw the sheet off my bare chest and fell to the ground, doing my morning ritual of push-ups and sit-ups. Then I jumped into the shower, trying to cool myself body and mind. It was after nine, so Matt had long left for work. I dressed, grabbed a breakfast sandwich out of the freezer and crashed on the sofa until twelve. Brad should’ve been on his way, but when I called, a recording told me his number was out of service. Good thing I knew when to expect him. I still had three hours to kill, so I opened my laptop and shot emails to some friends I hadn’t touched base with lately, then found myself taking a run around the town square as five o’clock neared.
Watching the bus pull to a stop, I couldn’t believe my eyes as only one person got off for Berryville. I knew in my heart it was Brad by the mess of dirty blond hair and blue eyes, but if I hadn’t known he was getting off that bus, I never would’ve figured it was him. He’d lost so much weight. He was nothing but a spindly toothpick now, his jeans hanging loosely around his hips, his t-shirt baggy even though it couldn’t have been any greater than a large.
We both managed to smile as if our meeting for the first time in years wasn’t awkward and gave each other a quick hug. My nose burned in his presence, and I understood why the moment he let go of me, already lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. Once he inhaled a few, I could see the calmness overtake the shakes that plagued him a moment ago. “So…” he said.
“So…” I replied, still surprised that this pale twig in front of me was the same kid that grew up beside me. His eyes didn’t seem as bright as they once were and he had heavy bags beneath them, tinged a light bluish-gray. On the bright side, he wasn’t drunk. Yet.
He repositioned the beat up back bag on his shoulder. “How you doing?” I asked, motioning for him to follow me to my truck. “I tried calling but couldn’t get through.”
He shrugged and took another drag. “Yeah. Guess they finally cut me off. I’m just trying to survive man. Sure would help if the people in my life would stop screwing me over. Did you find out who the bitch mom is yet?” he asked as we both climbed into the truck.
There it was again. That sharp twinge in my chest every time I thought of ratting out Mel. I really wished I could stop doing that. In fact, I’d love it if I could just shut down the feelings I had for her completely. “Uh…” I dragged out, my brain and tongue still trying to decide on a course of action. “Nope. Not yet. You can just do your part of the test tomorrow and head back home. It’ll probably take a few weeks to compare your DNA to the one they have on file for the baby. Guess I’ll have to start emailing you though, huh?”
Yeah, I was still lying about that, too. There was no DNA on file. I just didn’t want Mel and Brad to show up at the clinic at the same time. Why the hell I was sticking my head out to protect a girl that deserved everything that was coming to her, I couldn’t figure. And from what I’d been told, Mel still hadn’t taken Jake in to give his sample. It was like she was waiting me out or something, hoping my claim of having Brad challenge her in court was just a bluff.
“Already trying to get rid of me?” he jested, but I could hear the disappointment in his voice.
“No man, not at all. I’d love to spend a few days with you sometime and catch up, but I’m staying over at Matt’s apartment while I’m here. I don’t have the money to stay in a hotel and I don’t think it’d be right for both of us imposing on Matt while this is going on. You know?”
“Yeah, I get it,” he said quietly. “So is there some place I can crash for the night, or am I pitching a tent in the back of your truck here?”
I let out a few soft chuckles. “Why? You got a tent in that pack?”
“Not really.”
“That’s too bad because you might prefer one. Matt said you could crash on the sofa for tonight, but it’s an old hand-me-down, so don’t be expecting the Ritz or anything.”
Matt huffed and bitterly replied, “I wouldn’t even expect the Holiday Inn in this town.” I couldn’t help but nod my head to that. “Sure wish we still had my grandmother’s house. What did you say she did with it?”
“She sold all her assets. Don’t know why yet. What people I’ve asked about it so far either don’t know or won’t share.”
“These people are jerks. Can’t believe I had to come back here. Can’t believe my damn g
randmother screwed me over to begin with.”
I didn’t have anything to say that, so I remained quiet the rest of the drive. Matt was already home for the evening, and he gave Brad as quick of a hug as I did. I could tell just by reading his face that he didn’t like the visual version of this Brad either. He looked so deteriorated.
“You’re welcome to stay for the night, but you’ll have to smoke outside.” Brad didn’t even have a cigarette burning so I guess Matt got a good whiff of the stench, too.
“That’s fine man, thanks.” He crashed down in the middle of the sofa and I shook my head at myself as he kicked his feet up on the coffee table. Growing up in the house that he did, he knew it was rude to do that in another person’s home. At least not before they offered it. “So what’s the plan?”
Matt didn’t have any other chairs or barstools in the house, so we were forced to either stand or squeeze in on each side of him. I took a seat but Matt headed to the kitchen and pretended to mess around, eventually leaning over the counter to look out at us.
“You’re scheduled over at the clinic tomorrow at eleven. Some woman named Barbara will take care of you. Then you can hop back on that bus and head home. No reason for you to stay in this town any longer than you have to.”
“Eh, it’s not so bad I guess. Didn’t mind it too much growing up.”
I think he got caught up in a daze after that because he was silent for a bit. Matt and I exchanged a few choice facial expressions, most of which clearly said, Dude…what the hell happened to this guy?
“Have you eaten?” I kind of hated to ask, seeing as how I would probably have to pay to feed his ass, but the guy was so damn skinny I wondered how often he got a decent meal in him.
“Nah. Bus made an official stop once along the way but it was just at some gas station.”
“I was thinking about going to T-Bone Jim’s tonight for that all-you-can-eat buffet. Want to come along? My treat.”
“Yeah, I guess. So long as we can hit up a bar afterwards. I need a drink.”