After some time, he paused, resting his heavy hand on her hot bottom. She had stopped struggling just moments before and now forced her attention to her breathing, trying to calm herself, hoping it was over. “I don’t want to punish you, but I care enough about you to do this, Rebecca,” he said. “You need to leave him. You need to just get out of there before it’s too late.”
The only person who had ever cared enough about her to give her the time of day had been Amelia. Jeff was using her, she knew it, and Sawyer saying it made it impossible to deny. Friends? She had none to speak of, not real friends. Every now and then, she would have a drink with a colleague but that was all that was, that was all they were: colleagues. Some were more sympathetic than others, but they weren’t really friends. She had always kept her true thoughts and feelings to herself. She had learned to do it so well, she even could keep the truth from herself.
Sawyer had, over the course of his therapy, managed to get her to trust him again. She realized part of that was because of their brief relationship all those years ago, but when she had left then, she had thought she hated him, hated him for humiliating her like he had that last night. But truly, wasn’t he just doing then what he was doing now? Taking care of her in his own way? All she knew now was that even lying over his lap with her bottom exposed and on fire, she felt safer than she had ever felt in all the years without him.
No, surely there was something wrong with her. The man had just upended her over his lap, stripped off her panties to bare her bottom and thoroughly spanked her, and she trusted him?
* * *
Sawyer looked down at her still form, at her pretty, naked, red bottom that throbbed with heat just beneath his hand. She had been crying from the start and just a moment ago, her body had been relaxed, he had felt her soften and give herself over to him. But something had just happened in her head because her body language changed completely.
For a moment, he questioned the validity of what he had just done. He had become angry at the restaurant, angry at her for not seeing logic and reason. He wasn’t angry with Jeff, not exactly. Jeff was a jerk. But one could only be taken advantage of if she allowed that of herself and the stakes had just gone up with her suspecting that they were dealing drugs. Did she have any idea what could happen to her if she were implicated or even linked at all with them when—and he meant when, not if—they got caught?
Sawyer wished he could see her face, see what she was thinking. Did she hate him now for having done this?
“Have you had enough?” he asked, his tone no longer stern, but gentle.
She nodded with a quiet, “yes.”
He lifted her up and sat her on his lap, pushing the hair from her face, wiping at her tears with his fingers. And when she began to cry again quietly, he held her face to his chest, his own heart breaking with her pain.
“If you need a place to stay, I have an extra room that you’re welcome to use for as long as you need to. Just get out of there, Rebecca. Get away from him. Don’t let him drag you down with him.”
She pushed at his chest and wiped her face, stumbling to her feet. Without looking at him, she pulled her skirt out from its waistband and covered herself. Her panties lay discarded on the floor as they had slid off during the course of her spanking.
He stood and walked to her, but she took a step back, her eyes just able to glance quickly up at his before she looked back down, her face as red as her bottom was.
“Rebecca,” he began, reaching out.
She turned her back to him. “Please go.”
“Are you all right?” he asked. She still wouldn’t look at him, but he saw her shoulders shake with a sob she tried to stifle. He touched a hand to her, but she flinched and he let her go. “I’ll go,” he said, taking out his wallet and pulling out one of his cards. He took a pen from her desk and wrote his private cell number along with his address on the back of it. “If you need anything at all, call me. Anytime, day or night.” He set it and the money with which she had tried to pay the bill at the restaurant on her desk.
He took another step toward her, considering taking her into his arms, considering forcing her to allow herself to be held, but he didn’t. He had done enough forcing tonight. Instead, he turned and walked out of the office, questioning himself again, questioning his actions.
* * *
Rebecca sank to the floor when she heard him go and gave herself over to a fresh onslaught of tears. She wasn’t even sure what she was crying about anymore. It was everything, all of it, and most important, it was the fact that she could never see Sawyer Hayes again.
Chapter Four
Rebecca had called in sick the following week on the day Sawyer was due in for his final appointment. She asked the receptionist to reschedule him with another therapist. He had tried to contact her a few times in the two months since that night, but he’d gotten the hint and stopped and she was pretty sure she would never see him again. That fact made her sad, but at the same time, allowed her to go on without having to face what had happened between them.
She just couldn’t do it. She had been trying to come to terms with her feelings over what he had done, but was struggling. In a way, in a very strange way, she felt almost closer to him for having done it—which she could not understand at all. She didn’t hate him and she wasn’t angry with him. But she couldn’t face him either. She was too embarrassed. He had been there when she needed a friend. Aside from him, she was fairly isolated. Work took a lot of her time and she wasn’t naturally outgoing, preferring to change into her pajamas and relax with a book and a cup of tea after the long work days to going out. But what he had done not once but twice now, was something she couldn’t quite wrap her brain around. It wasn’t even him she was trying to avoid. It was her own submissive side, that part of her that reacted in that way to him—only to him. It had all those years ago too and now, after so much time and so much change in her life, it was still exactly the same. It was the one thing that hadn’t changed.
In a moment of anger, she had considered calling the police and reporting him, but that would only lead to her own embarrassment. Besides, she didn’t want to get him into trouble. She cared for him.
She had determined in the months that followed the incident to just try to forget about it like she had the last time, but that wasn’t happening as easily as she had hoped. And the most unsettling part of this was that when she would think back on that night, think back on how he had positioned her over his knee, how he had raised her skirt and taken down her panties, she’d find herself wet, more than a little aroused even. She had, on more than one occasion, put that skirt back on as well as those same panties. She had lain herself down on the bed using a pillow beneath her hips in place of his thighs, lifted her skirt and bared her bottom just as he had and with her eyes closed and her fingers working her clit, she had imagined his hand spanking her bottom, his stern voice chastising her over some misdemeanor and she would come to that image, the orgasms frenzied, leaving her sweaty and breathless.
Things between her and Jeff were strained at best. He was spending more and more time with his brother and Shannon and the last time she had gone down there to see him, she’d smelled a strange smell and between that and the music, something had told her to just turn back and go home. She had made the decision then to break it off with him. Now that his brother was here, he could move in with him, considering he spent most of his time down there anyway. The only thing he needed her for was money and she realized when she received her last credit card statement that he had been shopping online again. She was maxed out and this time, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
So maybe Sawyer’s spanking had done the trick after all. She banished that thought as soon as it materialized.
At twenty minutes after seven, she parked the car and noticed that Andy’s truck was still there in the same parking spot it had been in all week. She climbed out and went inside, taking the stairs up to her apartment. When she slippe
d her key into the door, however, she found it already unlocked and when she pushed it open, she heard Jeff ’s voice. Sadly, he wasn’t alone.
Rebecca walked inside and hung up her coat, pulling the chain on which Amelia’s ring hung out from beneath her sweater and closing her hand around it, mustering up all her courage. She then tucked it back behind her clothes and out of sight.
“You’re home early,” Jeff said. He and Shannon had the refrigerator open and were apparently stealing bottles of beer.
“It’s past seven, I’m late. What are you doing?” she asked, knowing full well.
“We were out of beer downstairs.”
“And the grocery store was too?”
Jeff’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t be a bitch.”
“We need to talk.”
Shannon stood back and watched with a smirk on her face that turned Rebecca’s stomach.
“About what?” Jeff asked. “Nothing to talk about the way I see it. If it’s the beer, fine,” he said. He held three bottles in each hand. As soon as he said it, he let them go and they crashed to the floor, glass bottles breaking, beer foaming everywhere. “I’ll leave them. Drop them, Shan.”
“No way, I’m not wasting these,” Shannon said.
“Jeff. We need to talk. Alone,” Rebecca said, knowing there wouldn’t be a good time.
Shannon stepped over the spilled beer, barely holding back a laugh. “I’ll see you downstairs,” she said to Jeff. “Good luck.”
With another dirty look in Rebecca’s direction, she left.
“Why do you have to embarrass me like that, Bec?” he asked. “Now look what you made me do,” he said, stepping over the shattered glass.
“What did you buy?” she asked. “My credit card is maxed out.”
“Oh, that, I meant to mention it. We needed a few things.”
“Who is ‘we’? Your brother and Shannon? Have they considered getting jobs? I’m not supporting them. It’s hard enough with you out of work and it’s going to stop now.”
“Oh, it’s that again. I should have guessed it,” he said, taking an aggressive step toward her. “Money again. You think I haven’t tried to find work?”
“When was the last time you went on an interview? Filled out a job application, even?”
He narrowed his eyes and she folded her arms across her chest, her anger turning momentarily to fear. She thought of Sawyer, wishing he were there with her, but pushing that thought aside. She could do this alone. She was a big girl and just as she didn’t need a man spanking her, she didn’t need one to take care of her problems for her either. She just had to say it, get it over with. Jeff had never struck her before, but he had been acting so strange lately that a part of her worried he would do just that.
Her mind went momentarily to that night with Sawyer again and how he had spanked her. She hadn’t felt fear for a moment that night. Tonight, with Jeff standing just feet from her—Jeff, whom she’d known for more than a year—she felt fear.
“It’s over, Jeff. I want you to leave. I’ll pack your stuff and bring it down to you tomorrow.”
“You fucking cunt,” he spat, one hand curling hard around her upper arm as he shoved her backwards.
She struggled to free herself. “Let me go, Jeff. You don’t want to hurt me. You’re never here anyway and we’re both better off.” She tugged her arm again, trying hard not to show her fear.
He stared at her for a long moment. “Fine,” he said, letting her go. She tripped backwards, but managed to catch the back of the couch to steady herself. “You want me gone, fine. Shannon’s right. You know what you are, Rebecca?” he asked, picking up his jacket that he’d left on the back of the couch. “A stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone else. I’ve got news for you: you’re not. You’re just a stuck-up bitch.”
His anger was a violence in and of itself and Rebecca just watched as his face contorted into a menacing mask and he spat at her. He then turned toward the door.
“Cunt,” he called out as he pulled it open.
Rebecca stood speechless, wiping the back of her sleeve against her face, the feel of his spit on her skin making her want to vomit.
Jeff mumbled something else under his breath and he closed the door so hard that when it slammed shut, the whole apartment shook. Without wasting a moment, Rebecca ran to it and locked it, taking a few deep breaths. She had done it. She had told him to go and he had gone. There had been a moment when she’d been afraid, but Jeff had never been physically violent with her before. Not really. No matter what had been happening between them, she had never felt like he hated her. Ever since Andy and Shannon had moved into the apartment building though, something had changed. He had changed. Their relationship had been on its last legs before they got here, but they had managed to push it over the edge. In a way, she was grateful to them for that.
Rebecca exhaled and couldn’t help a small smile.
She was free.
* * *
The alarm came in at quarter past three in the morning. Sawyer moved swiftly, his mind focused on one thing: getting to the apartment complex and getting there fast. It was a five-alarm fire and at this time of night, the casualties could be overwhelming, not to mention damage to the property.
And there was one other thing, the worst thing of all. He knew the address: it was Rebecca’s.
The scene when they arrived was a horrific one. Flames shot up out of the side of one of the buildings and the reality that this fire would jump to another building caused them all to pause for a moment.
“Let’s go!” Sawyer called out, looking to identify the one she lived in. Another fire crew arrived on their heels, sirens blaring as local police tried to keep arriving reporters back while medical workers helped those running out of the building, wrapping them in blankets as more ambulances arrived on the scene.
They worked quickly but the fire raged. Several firefighters ran into the building breaking open doors, looking for residents. Sawyer took the stairs two at a time up to the third floor, up to Rebecca’s apartment.
“Rebecca!” he called out when he found her door locked. He banged, calling her name again, the smoke making him cough. “Rebecca!” He was sure she couldn’t hear him.
Throwing his shoulder into the door, he broke into the apartment. “Rebecca!”
Smoke filled the space.
“In here.” Her voice sounded small, choked. “I’m in here.”
The terrible sound of fire roared in his ears and he went toward the back bedroom, exhaling a sigh of relief when he found her there on her hands and knees, coughing by the slightly open window.
“It’s stuck,” she managed, before another choking fit took hold of her.
When he tried the window, he realized what she was talking about. “Turn away,” he told her. “I’m going to break it.” He didn’t wait. Instead, he shielded her crouching form from the window by placing himself between it and her and, turning his face away, broke out the window. She screamed at the sound, then broke down into another fit of coughing, except that this time she didn’t get back up.
“Rebecca,” he said, pulling her up by her shoulders. “I’m going to get you out of here.”
She was fading fast, barely able to open her eyes now. Sawyer lifted her up and hauled her over his shoulder. The smoke in the room was thicker now and the sound of something heavy falling made Sawyer move faster than he liked through the window frame, wanting to keep her uncovered arms and legs from being cut by the few shards of remaining glass.
But a few cuts were better than dying.
He went through the window, keeping one hand on her and taking hold of the fire escape ladder with the other. The building was up to code and he was grateful for that because as he descended the stairs with her in his arms, he knew if he had not arrived when he had, she would be gone. Once he was on the ground and a medical crew came to retrieve her, he realized he had been just in time to save her and when they laid her down on a stretcher an
d she just blinked her eyes open, he met hers and touched her face. She smiled a small smile, but her eyelids fluttered closed again.
“Chief!” someone called out. He turned and ran to help his crew as part of the building came falling away.
* * *
When Rebecca woke up the next day, she was staring up at a cold fluorescent light in a hospital bed. The smell of the place was one she remembered from when Amelia had been ill and it still brought back terrible memories and all the emotions they still held.
There was movement in the room and she turned her head in that direction to find Sawyer coming toward her.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, smiling down at her.
She did a mental scan of her body. “Sore and I’ve got a headache,” she said, reaching to touch an especially tender spot on her leg and finding it bandaged.
“That was my fault. You got cut when I carried you through the window.”
“Oh, God.” The memory of that came back. “I guess I owe you a pretty huge thank you.”
He shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything. I was just glad to be on time.”
She smiled a weak, tired smile. “How bad was it?” she asked, not sure she wanted to know. “Jeff and those guys, are they hurt?”
“No,” he said, his expression hardening. “None of them, in fact. They were out.”
“The other residents?”
“Only one casualty, remarkably. Mr. Coleman died of smoke inhalation before we could get to him.”
“Oh, no,” she said. “He was such a sweet old man.” He was also seventy-two and in a wheelchair. She still remembered when she’d had a cup of tea with him the week prior. How he had complained that his kids wanted to move him to an old folks’ home and he wouldn’t budge.
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