“Aydan!” Kane’s bellow made me snap back into my visible avatar, adrenaline pounding in my veins.
“What?” I shot a wild glance around the room, but saw no cause for alarm. “What? Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”
He clasped my hand in his, frowning. “Are you crazy? Don’t go into the network without an anchor.”
“I’m only going outside our firewall for ten minutes, and I’m not going far. You might as well keep working.”
His grip tightened. “I don’t care if it’s for ten seconds. You never go into the network without an anchor. Clear?”
“Clear.” I faded into invisibility again before he could read annoyance in my expression. As I stretched my consciousness from his anchoring grasp, I wondered if I was technically still under his command now that I was an agent. Hmmm. Have to ask Stemp…
I rode the jostling stream of data packets through the firewall and floated in the shifting currents of the internet, entertaining myself by skimming through data the rest of the world naively believed was impenetrably encrypted. Lucky for them I was working for the good guys. And lucky for them I’d destroyed the only remaining network keys two nights ago, so I was now the only person left in the world who could still crack their files.
Satisfaction warmed me. Maybe I was just a dumb civilian bookkeeper, but I’d done pretty damn well…
A tsunami of data overwhelmed me, tumbling me into chaotic limbo. Terror flooded me while I struggled to gather the scattered remnants of my consciousness.
I knew this sensation.
The fear narrowed my concentration to laser-bright strands. My virtual fishnet flared and snapped shut, capturing every vestige of the turbulent data.
You. Are. Mine!
I began to sift packets through the finest filters I could create.
About an eternity later, I sorted the last packet. Now for the tricky part. I had been so intent on my task I hadn’t registered how exhausted I was. My net pulsed with the frenetic oscillation of the captured data, straining my concentration to its limits.
And…
Now.
I released the net. The sudden absence of data imploded my consciousness, shattering me into white-hot fragments. With the last remains of my will, I pursued the retreating packets, sniffing out their now-familiar scent/flavour until they left the data tunnel.
Gotcha.
With agonizing slowness, I began to coalesce, easing my tenuously connected bits back toward Sirius Dynamics and into Kane’s waiting grasp.
I was pretty sure I’d made it. Kane’s voice reassured me, but it seemed to come from random directions in a cacophony that somehow melded into comprehension. I tried to pull my consciousness into my avatar’s usual form, but before I could accomplish the task, pain drilled through my eye sockets.
I jerked into a ball, welcoming the sensation with sincere gratitude. Back in my own physical body. Thank God.
“Ow, ow, ow, cocksucking-goatfucking-sonuvabitch…”
Apparently my mouth wasn’t quite as thankful as my brain.
I clenched my teeth and rode out the remainder of the too-familiar pain groaning wordlessly while Kane’s strong hands massaged the shards of agony out of my temples.
“Aydan, what happened?” Jack’s urgent voice drove resonant spikes through my head, and I uncurled enough to flap a frantic hand in the direction of the sound.
“Sshhh,” I hissed, clamping my other hand over my face to keep my eyeballs from exploding. Merciful silence enfolded me and I curled back into my protective huddle to moan quietly.
At last the pain abated to a throbbing ache and I pried an eye open. A circle of worried faces swam into focus above me.
“Aydan, are you all right? Say something.” Kane’s voice seemed overly loud, but I suspected he was whispering.
“I’m okay.” My voice clawed its way out of my throat like a reanimated corpse from a coffin. “Just give me a minute.”
I hauled myself approximately upright and propped my shaking body in the corner of the sofa. Alien memories crowded my mind, but this time I knew where they came from and which ones were truly mine.
“Aydan, what is it?” Kane stooped to peer into my face, and I realized I was grinning fiercely.
“Mine,” I hissed. Laughter bubbled over into a ferocious “Ha!” and I pumped a victorious fist. “Terry Sherman is mine!”
Judging by the expressions on the faces surrounding me, my non sequitur hadn’t been reassuring. Spider and Jack were staring at me, pale and wide-eyed. Kane’s brow was creased in concern, but Doytchevsky’s eyes burned with savage joy. Everyone spoke at once.
“Terry Sherman is dead.” That was Kane.
“He’s alive?” Doytchevsky, his face alight with unholy elation.
“Who’s Terry Sherman?” Spider, still looking frightened and confused.
I heaved myself off the sofa and staggered toward the door, my head spinning. “Spider, I dumped an IP address in the file repository. Trace it right away. Let me know as soon as you have it. I have to talk to Stemp, now.”
Chapter 6
When I tapped on Stemp’s open door, he glanced up from his computer, his frown of concentration smoothing into watchful detachment.
“Yes, Kelly?” His gaze darted to Kane’s bulk behind me. “Is there a problem?”
“No. Well, yes and no…”
His eyes narrowed. “Come in.”
We obeyed, Kane swinging the door shut behind him.
“Terry Sherman and Tammy Mellor are still alive.” The words burst out of me seconds after the click of the door latch. “They faked their death in China and they’re in the States now.”
Kane and Stemp exchanged a split-second glance, processing the information and all its implications.
“Where? Sit.”
I sank into the nearest chair. “I don’t know where exactly because Tammy doesn’t know. But Spider will know in a minute or two.”
“What are they doing?”
“Trying to find Sam Kraus.”
“Why?”
“Tammy doesn’t know.”
“Does she have your memories?”
I gave him a feral grin. “No. They have jackshit. I picked her clean and gave her nothing.”
Stemp sat slowly back in his chair. “A full briefing, if you please.”
Excitement still electrified every cell in my body, and I drew a deep breath to calm my quivering thoughts, only wincing slightly at the pain in my ribs.
“Okay.” I took another deep breath and eased it out slowly, massaging my aching temples. “I… jeez, where do I start? I just absorbed Tammy’s entire lifetime of memories.”
“Are you all right?” Kane leaned forward, studying my face.
“Yeah.” I switched to kneading my forehead with the heel of my hand, feeling breakers of data buffeting it from inside. “I knew what was happening this time. I just… my head feels too full right now.”
“Maybe you should rest for a while-”
“No.” Stemp’s terse command overrode Kane. “Kelly. Everything. Now.”
I straightened in my chair. “Okay, first the bad news. I met Tammy head-on in the network, so that means there’s still one remaining network key, and Tammy can decrypt data and sneak around invisibly in networks just like me. And everything she discovers, Terry Sherman knows. And is undoubtedly willing to sell to just about anybody for the right price.”
The muscles bunched in Kane’s forearm beside me as his fist closed, but Stemp spoke first.
“Are you certain you didn’t exchange memories? They didn’t get any classified intel?”
“Positive. I knew what was happening this time, and I locked her mind down and filtered out absolutely everything that was mine. They’ll never even know they encountered me.”
Stemp nodded slowly. “Good. So they don’t know we broke their operation or that we have Kraus in custody.”
“No. They’ve been hiding and out of touch since their fake
d deaths, so that means Sherman thinks the rest of his good-buddy Knights of Sirius are still alive and well and selling intel to the highest bidder.”
I paused, prodding my tired brain to remember the past few days’ events. “Sherman would know Sam has told me all about the Knights and the way they manipulate super-users like Tammy and me to steal data with the network keys. But he won’t know about the bust.”
I straightened as comprehension dawned. “That’ll be why Sherman sent Tammy into the network. To make contact with Sam through me. That bastard, Sam told him how dangerous it was for a super-user to encounter me in the network. Sherman doesn’t even give a shit if Tammy ends up brain-dead…”
I cut myself off at Stemp’s gesture of impatience and got back to the point. “Here’s some more good-bad news.” Vibrating nerves pulled me to the edge of my chair. “Sherman has invented a USB device that generates a brainwave-driven network interface. It’s completely mobile. They can hack into any damn network they please, from anywhere they can get an internet connection. That’s the bad news.”
I gave him a smile that bared a few more teeth than usual. “The good news is I got their IP address and any minute now...”
A tap on the door interrupted me and Stemp snapped, “Come!”
Spider’s anxious face poked around the corner of the door. “I traced that IP.”
“Where?”
Spider twitched under the whiplash of Stemp’s demand, but spoke confidently. “A coffee shop in Boston.”
“Dump the address and GPS coordinates directly to the tactical system.” Stemp didn’t wait for Spider’s nod of comprehension before picking up the phone to begin barking orders.
Several calls later, he sat back in his chair and fixed me with his expressionless gaze. “Well done, Kelly. What else did you learn?”
“Just a whole pile of background information that probably isn’t too useful. The Knights of Sirius recruited Tammy when she was eight. She was blinded in an accident when she was six and her family was poor, so when the Knights offered money and schooling, her parents jumped at the chance. Terry Sherman has been controlling her nearly all her life. All she knows is that Sherman needs her to go into the network frequently. She doesn’t know she’s being forced to steal intel when she’s in there.”
I swallowed, queasily sorting through memories that felt far too real. “She’s pretty fucked up. She had no family life at all. He’s… everything to her. Handler. Father. Lover…”
Revulsion twisted Stemp’s face.
“No, he didn’t molest her,” I added quickly, mindful of his little daughter so far away. “They didn’t have a sexual relationship until she was eighteen.” A shudder squirmed down my backbone despite myself. “He’s creepy, but he’s not a pedophile.”
“So that’s why she doesn’t know where she is,” Kane said. “She’s blind.”
“Yeah. Her memories are so weird. There’s no visual component at all.” Another shudder shook me. “They’ve been together for nearly forty years. She’s completely dependent on him. She reads Braille at a basic level, but that’s it. She’ll do anything for him.”
I wrapped my arms around my churning stomach. “And I mean anything. Oh God.” Rising bile seared the back of my throat and I sprang up to flee for the bathroom.
I breathed slowly, open-mouthed, sweat congealing on my body.
“Aydan?” The volume of Jack’s voice increased as the sound of the bathroom door heralded her rapid arrival. “Aydan, are you okay?”
“Fine,” I whispered.
“What happened?”
“Just… give me a minute.”
Breathe. In. Out. Nice and slow. Those memories weren’t mine, and they likely weren’t as traumatic for Tammy as they were for me.
Just breathe.
“Aydan, if you don’t talk to me, I’ll call John in here and get him to pull the door right off that cubicle. And you know he can.” Jack’s no-nonsense tone reminded me that she was super-mom to two high-energy preschoolers.
I managed a feeble chuckle. “It’s okay, Jack. I… collided with another super-user in the network. I got a big dump of her memories. I just… I’ll be okay, I just need to let them fade a bit.”
“Oh, Aydan.” Her voice trembled with sympathy. “I can’t imagine how bad they must be if they upset you this much. How can I help?”
God, this was embarrassing. I hauled myself to my feet and vacated the cubicle to stumble past her to the sink.
“It’s okay, thanks, Jack, I’m fine. They’re probably good memories for her. It was just a shock, that’s all.”
My voice sounded a lot more convinced than I felt, and I shot her a reassuring smile in the mirror. Except for the violent trembling of my hands, I looked almost normal. My gut clenched again and I fought down another wave of panic and nausea.
Not my memories. It didn’t happen to me.
I crushed my handful of paper towels into a wad and made a drop shot in the general direction of the wastebasket, attempting nonchalance. My aim was off, and the crumpled ball teetered on the edge for a moment before toppling in.
“Two points.” I stretched my mouth into a semblance of a grin and made my escape.
Or so I had hoped.
Both Kane and Stemp stood in the hallway in the relaxed posture I had come to recognize as battle-readiness. Two pairs of eyes scrutinized me as if stripping away skin and bone to peer directly into my mind. The bathroom door opened behind me, and Jack’s presence boxed me in. With a supreme effort, I vanquished the frenzied urge to fight my way free and run until the memories faded.
“Sorry, my stomach was a little upset, but I’m okay now.” I held my voice level and strolled toward Kane and Stemp.
Please let them get out of my way…
“Very well. Kane, Dr. Travers, please brief the rest of the team. Kelly, in my office.” Stemp’s face and voice were unreadable as he turned to walk down the hall ahead of me.
I pushed down my claustrophobia again. I was fine, dammit.
Settled once again in Stemp’s office, I summoned up a poker face while Stemp inspected me from behind his desk. After several moments, he spoke. “You said Ms. Mellor would do anything for Sherman. What exactly did you mean by that?”
I shrugged. “Exactly what I said. He’s her whole world. Except for brief messages from a biological family she hasn’t seen in decades, he’s her only human contact.”
“And what did she do for him that you found so upsetting?”
“N… nothing you need to be concerned about.”
“Kelly.” His unnerving amber gaze bored into me. “I’ve read your mission reports. I know very little has damaged your composure in the past. If this was enough to make you vomit, then I need to be concerned. What did she do?”
“I didn’t actually throw up…”
He eyed me in silence and heat rose in my cheeks, but I couldn’t see any means of avoiding the question. I summoned up all my bravado and met his eyes. “You know how only the data of the memory is transferred, but the emotion is generated by the person reliving the memory, not transferred from the person who originally experienced it?”
He nodded.
I wriggled, impaled on his gaze. “Let’s just say that certain activities they… enjoy… Well, probably…” I gulped and hurried on. “I mean, it was consensual, so she probably enjoyed it…”
I hesitated. Come on, let me off the hook already.
No such luck. He waited, his gaze boring into me.
I unclenched my teeth and summoned up a matter-of-fact tone. “They’re into bondage and domination. Not my flavour. My emotional reaction was probably quite a bit different than hers.”
Another wave of memory broke over me, making me clench my teeth and ride out the accompanying surge of panic with a long breath.
“Oh.” Stemp relaxed. “Was there anything else?”
“No.” I slumped in my chair, fervently wishing I could disappear into a convenient hole in the floo
r.
Stemp fixed me with an impassive stare. “You need help.”
“I’ll be all right.”
“You’re not all right.” He leaned his elbows on the desk, his gaze trapping me in my chair. “You just had a severe physical and psychological reaction to the mere thought of being tied up and restrained. You can’t perform at peak capability when you have that kind of crippling fear.”
My pent-up adrenaline exploded into a wave of fury. I jerked to my feet, planting my clenched fists on his desk to keep from swinging at him.
“You don’t get it, do you?” I snarled. “That wasn’t the mere thought…” I made violent air quotes around the words. “…of being tied up and restrained. That was the fresh, true-to-life experience of being blind, tied up, degraded and repeatedly raped by a man who’s a total stranger to me. Every detail. Every… sensation. Just a few minutes ago.”
Through my rage, I registered the shock in his face. I struggled to get my voice under control but it came out in a menacing growl. “I told you, I’ll be all right. Those memories aren’t mine, so they’ll fade fast. In the mean time, cut me some fucking slack, okay?”
We locked eyes over the desk. He dropped his gaze first.
“I didn’t realize,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
When he met my eyes again, there was no hint of compromise in his expression. “I’ll give you the weekend. If this is still an issue next week, you will get help.”
“Understood,” I snapped, and strode out.
I managed to hold it together until I’d run the benign gauntlet of the unseen tac team down by the creek and the surveillance cameras on my front porch. Alone at last, I swung the door of my walk-in closet shut behind me and curled into a ball in the darkness, pulling my fleecy robe over my head to shut out the world.
Don’t think. Just breathe.
When my pulse rate returned to almost-normal and my tremors diminished at last, I hauled myself upright and flipped on the light. Squinting at my watch, I groaned at the sight of the time. A two-hour drive down to Calgary, check in at the airport two hours before my international flight… that left me exactly half an hour to pack and get my ass out the door.
A Spy For a Spy Page 5