“Come on now champ, you need to make your papa proud. He would only want the best for you. He wanted me to take you to the best place I thought you would be safe, happy and excel. Do you know what he told me before he died? He made me promise to take you to the U.S.A. And that is exactly where we are going.”
“But the U.S.A. is a bad place. You told me yourself. Bad people live there. Everyone is poor. I want to go home.” Senor Brooks didn’t hear him. He picked up a magazine, reading as if the short conversation was over.
Jose sat, silent with confusion. He was happy to be with Senor Brooks but too much change frightened him. Where were his mama and papa? He did not believe they were dead. Did he remember to tell Senor Brooks that someone made off with his monkeys? Everything confused him. The United States; why would Papa want him to go so far from everything familiar to him? His translucent eyelids slipped down heavily. That’s all he seemed to do, sleep. As he drifted off, he thought he heard the cry of an infant. It seemed to be coming from the back of the plane. Or maybe it was just an old memory. He slept soundly the rest of the way, immersed in the happy memory of Cara spitting up all over his papa as he tossed her in the air, making him and his mama laugh hysterically.
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Jose did not adjust well to his new family. His sorrow for his own family turned to anger, leaving him a bitter shell, just going through the motions. It was especially difficult, not fully understanding English. He learned a little in grade school in Costa Rica, but not enough to blend in. Even though his new family was Hispanic, they did not speak the language. Spanish used to be taught in American schools but like most things, fell to the absolute knife of budget cuts. As a result he felt foreign and different; just what a child recovering from severe trauma did not want. He became the strange new kid in school. No friends, no real family.
In time, the shock and confusion of the days after the death of his family receded to a manageable simmer. He changed quickly, from a secure happy little boy to a resentful disobedient delinquent. He refused to interact with the Diaz family, unable to establish any sort of bond with them. He ran away from their home many times. Each time, Senor Brooks tracked him down and returned him. Whenever he saw Senor Brooks, he deluged him with questions and entreaties to let him go home. Senor Brooks became less and less communicative, closing the door on any of the hope Jose managed to hold on to.
He began to wonder at the unusual coincidence of Senor Brooks finding him every time he ran away. What about the coincidence of Senor Brooks living in the U.S. now, just like him? Jose never received answers to any of his questions. He stopped asking to go home. Finally, the time came when Jose no longer burned with the desire to run away and Senor Brooks disappeared from his life altogether.
Sometimes, being very young has its advantages. Mother Nature gave youth an astonishing ability to heal; physically and mentally. Slowly, the traumatized young boy’s natural curiosity helped draw him out of his bitter shell. He began to take comfort from the unrelenting warmth of Mama Diaz and her clan.
The Diaz family welcomed him warmly. They even agreed to adopt him. He later learned that Senor Brooks moved the whole family to the country as a result of their agreement to take him in; their previous home, a tenement city fraught with danger and dead end opportunity for the kids, merely a distant memory.
It had been overwhelming at first, of course. The Diaz children treated him like a new house pet. The two girls, Emma and chubby little Bonita aggressively staked their claim. They loved to dress him in their ragged finery, forcing him to play house. He became their prime choice, always the reluctant victim, coercing him to try their latest recipe of dirt cakes and sand scones. The two boys, Tomas and Hiro loved having him be their third against the blacks and the Muslims when they teamed up to play kick the can, touch football or just water tag down at the neighborhood swimming hole. Tomas always seemed to get a bit of extra pleasure whenever Jose took some extra hard lumps, though.
Jose’s life took a turn for the better when Papa Diaz brought home a surprise from his job at the fabric mill, one of the few manufacturing concerns in the county. A very plum job and only achieved through the intervention of Senor Brooks, which caused quite a bit of resentment from other disgruntled applicants that were on the waiting list for the next opening. Papa Diaz was an outsider, after all.
The puppy wandered onto the mill’s property during a lunch break. He reeked; a sad and dirty little guy. Tight, possibly white, curly hair all but obscured his intelligent needy eyes. His long tail wagged so much and so hard, it sported bald spots and painful bruises. Attracted by the smells and crumbs from the lunch crowd, he ran from person to person, begging for food. His starving body shivered with malnutrition, his ribs ready to pop through his paper-thin skin. Sores surfaced through his fur where the fleabites tortured him.
At the end of the day, when the mill workers headed home from their shift, the pup lingered, trotting behind the exodus to the parking lot, his frantic tail crying, take me home, take me home. But no one responded. By the time Papa Diaz left for home, the deserted parking lot echoed the pup’s loneliness. He sat in the corner of the brick building in the weeds, shivering and discarded. As Papa Diaz came out the door, he froze, desperation written on his demoralized face. Hope rose, like a feather caught in the breeze, long ago discarded, now wafting forward. He sat frozen, only the hesitant motion of his eyes spoke of life as he watched Papa Diaz walk toward him. Papa Diaz stood in front of the pup as it silently looked up at him, too defeated to even beg. Bending down, he picked up the scrawny little guy, tucked him inside his overcoat and resolutely took him home.
They named him Barney. It was love at first sight for Jose. The abandoned pup’s story reflected his own. He found in Barney the one thing that provided some medicine to draw the poison from his psychological wounds. No longer alone, their damaged souls began to heal as they found comfort and security in each other’s raw love.
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The years passed. Jose grew, surprising everyone with his tall lanky good looks. He became reasonably popular in school, good grades coming easy. But he remained shy, confiding in no one, Barney his constant companion, to the exclusion of the other kids. He knew Mama Diaz loved him fiercely, but worried about what she sensed in the back of his eyes. Just this small something, at the end of the day as fatigue overwhelmed him. She said it looked like a hurt, or was it distrust? She made him sit with her so they could pray. With Barney at his feet, they sat at the kitchen table, and with the Virgin Mary hanging on the wall, prayed that life would be kind to him.
Late one Friday evening, after dinner, everyone gathered in the small but cozy living room. No one noticed the peeling walls or stained hardwood floors. The girls fought to sit next to Jose and Barney with the boys pounding on each other until Mama Diaz silenced them.
“Papa Diaz has a serious announcement.” Her calm voice betrayed a hitch of tension that demanded their attention better than words could hope to. In a low calm voice, eyes cast to the floor, Papa Diaz broke the news fated to change Jose’s life again.
The fabric mill announced layoffs, their margins slipping. He received his termination papers last week. With decent paying jobs nonexistent, Papa Diaz decided to try to jump the fence; getting caught, the only drawback. It’s a felony and a long jail sentence. Mexico is determined to protect their jobs for their own citizens. Who could blame them?
Mama and Papa decided they would merge the family with another fatherless family in the neighborhood. The Diaz family arranged to move into the Preston home down the hill; two families banding together to help each other so they might all survive. The thought of moving in with a new family didn’t really disturb anyone. They all understood the economics. Yes, it would be a bit unusual, two different ethnic backgrounds. But in the country, far from the urban centers, that factor took on a lesser significance.
Jose knew of the family. He vaguely knew Abby Preston from the school bus. And everyone knew her twerpy younger bro
ther, Scotty. He could be found anywhere, lurking all over the neighborhood like the ugly unwanted kid, shut out of the candy store while everyone else lived it up on the inside; kinda sad. Not too many white kids in the neighborhood; no one for him to play with. And what the heck happened to his head? Ick. Maybe things would change for him now that they would be moving in together. He shrugged to himself. It wasn’t really his concern.
Now Abby was a different story. A little older than him, they really never spoke. A slender, pretty girl, he admired her thick cinnamon hair. He remembered something about her being sick. She sure looked healthy to him; probably a rumor.
That night, as Jose lay in bed, he realized when Papa Diaz headed back to Mexico he would be without a male authority figure in his life again. First Papa, then Senor Brooks, then Papa Diaz. The Preston kids lacked a father too. Guess they had something in common. Drifting off to sleep, he fought the disturbing fragments of memory following the hazy death of his family. In his dream, he tried fruitlessly to outrun the ache and insecurity of his turbulent nightmares. He cuddled desperately to Barney in his sleep. Barney woke with a whine, his own doggy dreams just as frightening, his rough sloppy tongue reaching up to Jose’s familiar face for reassurance. Waking, Jose gave Barney a tender kiss on his muzzle and drifted back to sleep.
Chapter 5
Moving day had come and gone; so had Papa Diaz. The layoffs never materialized but the dominant faction at the mill pushed him out anyway, never forgiving him for getting preferential treatment during his hiring. Since they no longer enjoyed the benevolent attention of Senor Brooks, the family knew they would sink or swim on their own. Hopefully, Papa Diaz would not get caught crossing the border.
When Mrs. Preston lost her welfare, she knew she must find a way to supplement her income or move back to public housing. The Diaz family faced the same option. Both mothers refused to do that to the kids. They all flourished in Sussex County and that was where everyone intended to stay; including Barney.
Barney made a big splash with the two Preston kids, quite the slobbering icebreaker. The Prestons never had a pet before; just some imaginary golden fairy that the kid yakked on and on about to anyone that would listen.
They all attended the same school system. The little ones went on the school bus and Abby, Jose, Tomas and Hiro now walked to the regional high school. Abby was ready to graduate this spring. Tomas and Jose were both in their sophomore year, Hiro a freshman.
As it turned out, Abby truly was sick. It took a lot out of her family to make sure she got her dialysis every week. The whisper around the neighborhood said she would never be able to have her own family. It was a well-known fact that unless you could manage to buy one of the Chinese kidneys, she probably would not make it past thirty. You couldn’t tell from knowing her, though. She might be a little too slender but she sported one of the widest smiles in school. And her generosity was just as inclusive. She made time for everyone; a smile here, a word of encouragement there; always the one to sort out the disagreements at home and the first to pass on dessert if they came up short. She treated Jose just like a kid brother, no more, no less.
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Time passed uneventfully, the kids all doing fairly well in school. Abby graduated and luckily found a job with an Internet company doing web processing. Before long, Tomas and Jose graduated, both finding local work. Jose learning how to weld and Tomas drove a long haul truck. Hiro still needed to complete his last year of high school. Papa Diaz found a job in Mexico. He sent home money and letters, making a big difference to the family. The letters tapered off after a few years and then the money. Mama Diaz confided to Mrs. Preston her suspicions about a new family. Men that have left home were well known for womanizing, even the best of them. But to reject the responsibilities of supporting the family you left behind in a poor country while you take off for a rich one with better opportunity? It cut deeply.
Tomas and Hiro were profoundly affected. Hiro closed down, keeping his emotions bottled up, confiding in no one. He dropped out of school, joining Mrs. Preston at her job in the grocery store. But Tomas became the hard case. He developed a real nasty edge, dissing Jose every chance he got. He started stealing supplies from the school, then disappearing for days after Mama Diaz or Mrs. Preston confronted him. He stopped contributing to the household. Everyone tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he sarcastically rejected every attempt to reach out.
Jose was feeling closer and closer to Abby and Scotty. The three of them all harbored insecurities, being self-described outsiders, creating a natural bond; Abby, because of her medical needs that drained the family’s resources and Scotty, because of his secret disability. Oh, yes, Scotty hid a secret.
Tomas and Jose eventually moved out. Each had found girlfriends, Tomas moving in with his. Mama Diaz sorely missed their financial contribution but she found a job in a local restaurant. Things were not too God awful. Emma and chubby Bonita, who now insisted on being called Bonny, grew up, ready for high school. Life had actually been kind to the blended families, everyone growing up safely with a decent roof over their heads. Now that Tomas no longer lived with them, they found the tension in the house over his antics evaporate, laughter creeping back in their lives.
The only problem now, was sixteen-year old Scotty. The last few years found him developing some unusual behaviors. He became very withdrawn and secretive, although a miracle manifested in his lazy eye and skin conditions. The bald spots on his ringworm scars began to grow hair, growing in an unusual glowing blond. His lazy eye stopped wandering and his impetigo scars disappeared. Under the circumstances, he should have been wild with joy. Tragically, he hardly noticed.
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Scotty move into the bedroom with Hiro after Tomas and Jose moved out. He currently suffered alone with his misery; face down on his messy bed, waiting for Hiro to return from work with Scotty’s mother. He rolled over on his back, wracked with the apprehension and distress that had become his constant companion since the beginning of the growth of his tail. Yeah, that’s right. A tail. Not a small one either. The same time his tail started to grow, he started his growth spurt; so sudden and remarkable that his bones constantly ached, especially the back of his shoulder blades. Now, he measured a full six feet tall. And his tail? The same length; six feet of golden muscle and fur. Fur. He balled his fists tightly, anger and fear fighting to overwhelm him. He easily concealed his new tail by winding it around his torso under his shirt, the expanding bulbous end presenting little problem as he forced it to flatten against his abdomen. The gold sheen developing in his eyes presented a dicey dilemma. The danger of intrusive questions the most pronounced when he stood in the sun. As a result, he stayed inside during the day. He only went outside when he was sure he would be alone, which by the way, was most of the time. Strangely, he often felt compelled to go outside. He yearned for the sun, a new effect that energized him.
He no longer ate food like the rest of the family. His mom noticed but let it go, not commenting. He pretended the concern in her eyes wasn’t for him. Hopefully, she chalked up his behavior to normal teenage angst. He covered by pushing his food around on his plate, feeding his dinner to his new bud, Barney. When Jose moved out, he left the poor boy behind, making Scotty promise to take care of him. Funny, how much comfort Barney brought him.
He missed Jose immensely. Jose eventually told Scotty most of his family history over the years. It made Scotty feel small as he compared his nasty problems with his father, who disappeared, thankfully, seven years ago, to Jose’s story of tragedy. They grew very close. Jose took on a big brother role with Scotty, inadvertently enabling him to better weather the physiological shock as his tail began to grow.
It started with constant soreness, then swelling and finally breakthrough growth. He didn’t mention it to his mom because he knew they didn’t have the money for doctors anyway, since Abby’s treatments were just barely affordable. He hoped it would just resolve itself on its own. When it became clear
that something actually was growing, he thought it might develop into cancer; a scary fatal cancer. He watched fearfully as it developed quickly into its present form, finally fascinating him. He became very secretive. Even though clearly a freak, he didn’t want to be labeled again, still smarting from childhood taunts that left psychological scabs on his vanished scars, too easily picked open.
What disturbed him the most? The big why. Why him? Why now? Maybe an infection? Was it evolution run amok? And shock of all shocks, he couldn’t get over the fact that the tail felt completely natural. He could move it at will. He liked it. And that fact scared him the most.
Chapter 6
As time moved on, Scotty ached to confide in someone. His life felt like an emotional roller coaster. He vacillated between fear and depression, frustration and insecurity. And pride, can’t forget that. If he outed himself, someone might tell him his tail must be removed or put him on display. He felt like a freak; the kind of freak that might send the authorities slobbering to get a chance to study him and stealing his paltry life with its insignificant pleasures. So, he decided to keep the horrific changes his body continued to produce, a secret. Even the hair that grew back through his ringworm scars looked different. Abby teased him, saying the bleached blond look didn’t really work with his dark hair color. He tried to pass it off as the latest style at school, although it was more blond now than anything else. He almost didn’t recognize himself in the mirror.
The kids at school sure noticed. He couldn’t fail to notice the whispers behind his back, the finger pointing in the hallways, the garbage dumped in his locker or the crude comments written on the blackboards; probably because of his eye. It no longer wandered. It stayed centered just like his other eye. Abby and his mom were stumped but very happy for him. Maybe in time the kids will stop singling him out and want to be friends. Sighing, he prayed that when he got older, maybe then he could confess and seek help without fear.
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