by Lisa Cassidy
“Your magic broke out, Alyx,” he said gently. “I promise we’ll talk about that once you’ve had some rest.”
He left, and she heard him usher Dawn in from the hallway.
Dawn was smiling as she came in and sat on the bed, leaning forward to hug Alyx tightly. Alyx relaxed into the embrace, overwhelmingly glad Dawn was all right.
“I’m so glad to see you up.” Dawn sat back, tears pricking her eyes. “I was so afraid for you. Howell was too.”
“I’m okay.” Alyx frowned, not understanding why they’d been so worried. She wasn’t hurt, after all. “What about the boys? Brynn—what did Howell mean he hasn’t come back yet?”
Dawn’s shoulders slumped. “Finn is recovering next door. His arm was badly broken but the healers have worked hard on it. It will take weeks to mend, but he should regain full use of it. He also has a few broken ribs. Tarrick was worse off. He had internal injuries, compounded by blood loss. He also hit his head in the fall. Right now, he’s alive but still unconscious.”
“Will he be all right?”
“The healers are worried because he hasn’t woken up yet, so I don’t know, I’m sorry.” Dawn hesitated. “Galien and First Patrol were ambushed on their way back here with Brynn, like we were. Galien lost Brynn in the chaos. People are out looking but nobody has found him yet.”
This time it was Alyx who leaned forward to wrap her arms around Dawn, needing the physical comfort as grief and fear surged. Dawn hugged her back tightly, and for a long moment they were silent, taking comfort from each other.
Dawn pulled back with a watery smile. “You know, Ladan was sitting outside when I came up just now. One of the servants told me he’d been there all night.”
“Is he still there?”
“No. I asked him if he wanted to come in but when he heard you were awake, he said he had to leave. Apparently Howell had asked to speak with him.”
“Oh.” Alyx was too tired to wonder about that.
“Finn is next door with Tarrick. Do you feel up to going to visit?”
“I’d love to.” Alyx sat up a little too quickly. Blood rushed to her head again and the dizziness swamped her.
“You all right?” Dawn put an arm around her middle.
Alyx nodded and took a few deep breaths before attempting to stand. Dawn kept hold of her arm when she moved. Once up, Alyx stood still for a second, waiting until the dizziness passed. She then picked up a robe lying over the chair and Dawn helped her put it on. Dawn kept one supportive arm around her as they walked slowly into the hall and turned toward the room next door.
Finn’s face brightened immeasurably when he saw the girls appear. Dawn pulled a chair between his and Tarrick’s bed for Alyx to sit on, then rummaged around for a spare blanket to wrap around her legs and feet.
“I don’t want you to catch a chill,” she explained when Alyx looked at her strangely.
“Dawn, it’s the middle of spring.”
“I know.” She turned pink. “It’s just that after everything you did for us, I couldn’t bear the thought of you getting sick.”
“What are you talking about?” Alyx was mystified.
“I’m talking about how you saved my life, and Finn’s and Tarrick’s,” Dawn said softly.
“And gave Dawn the strength and heart to get Tarrick and me moving,” Finn added.
“I did nothing of the sort,” Alyx said awkwardly. She couldn’t feel less like a hero if she’d tried. Brynn was gone, possibly dead, and Tarrick was critically injured. And what she’d done… her mind shied away from that thought. “I was as exhausted and miserable as you were.”
“You made the decision to come back. It saved mine and Tarrick’s lives.”
“You would have done the same.”
“You were the one who kept us going when we had given up,” Dawn said gently. “Telling those jokes, keeping us awake and moving. The healer says you overextended yourself when you attacked the warrior about to kill Finn. He can’t explain how you managed to stay conscious, let alone keep going. I don’t know how you found the strength.”
Alyx shifted uncomfortably. “The jokes weren’t even funny.”
Finn laughed. “They seemed funny to me. I was in pain and they distracted me, if only for brief moments.”
She cleared her throat. “I’m glad I could help.”
“You did. Tarrick will tell you that himself when he wakes up, and you’ll have to believe him because he knows all.”
Finn and Dawn both laughed at that, taking the edge off Alyx’s discomfort.
“Have you heard the news about Brynn?” she asked quietly.
Finn’s silence answered Alyx’s question. Her heart sank into her chest.
“That means he has to be dead right? I mean… if nobody has found him yet…”
“Nobody has found a body,” Dawn said quickly. “And DarkSkull hasn’t given up searching.”
“Of course.” Alyx stood, fighting the dizziness that threatened to overwhelm her. “I’m going to go back to bed and get some rest.”
“I’ll help you.” Dawn jumped up immediately.
“No, it’s fine,” Alyx said. “Stay with your brother.”
Alyx made her way back to the room next door, feeling off balance and groggy. She laid down on the bed, pulled the covers up over her head and tried to shut the world out.
It didn’t work.
As soon as she closed her eyes, all she could see was the warrior’s head exploding right before her eyes and Brynn being dragged away by Galien.
The tears came and she fought them back, shoving her face into the pillow. If she started crying now she might never stop.
By late the next afternoon, Alyx was discharged from the healing rooms and sent back to her dormitory. While the grogginess and dizziness had passed, after not sleeping most of the night, she still felt exhausted and wrung out.
Dawn returned from visiting Finn soon after, clutching a note that had been passed to her by Madame Grange.
Romas wanted to see them.
“Are you feeling up to it?” Dawn asked.
“I’m just tired, really.”
“Howell told me we’ll all feel like that for a few days. He said it’s from overusing our magic.”
“Oh.” Alyx still didn’t have a clear memory of what she’d done, or how she used magic, but she did remember killing that nameless attacker. And Howell had said her magic had broken out.
“Alyx?” Dawn noticed her shudder. “Are you all right? I can go on my own to see Romas.”
“I killed someone.” The words echoed starkly in their small room. Alyx’s hands started trembling so violently she had to sit on them. “What if I do it again?”
Alyx felt the bed rock as Dawn sat beside her. “Alyx, look at me.”
“I can’t stop shaking. It makes me sick to think about, Dawn.”
“Shush.” Dawn took gentle hold of Alyx’s shoulders. “You saved Finn’s life, and I know it must terrify you that you used mage power to do it, but it doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make what you did wrong. Do you understand me?”
Alyx managed a nod.
“As for doing it again, Howell will teach you now. He’ll make sure you learn how to control it. I’ll help you. We all will. You’re not alone.”
Alyx bit her lip against the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. “We’d better go and see Romas.”
“Are you sure—”
She rose from the bed. “Anything is better than sitting in this room. Come on.”
Dawn linked their arms as they left the dormitory and crossed to the main hall.
“How’s Finn?” Alyx asked.
“The healers want him to stay with them a little longer to make sure that infection doesn’t set in, but they think he’ll be fine.” Dawn smiled.
“And Tarrick?”
Dawn looked sad. “He still hasn’t woken.”
“I see.”
They were shown straight through into Romas
’ quarters, but Alyx stopped at the threshold when she saw Galien and Fengel sitting in chairs opposite the master’s desk. Fengel sported a purple bruise on his jaw and Galien’s right forearm was bandaged. Both were staring at the floor. She wasn’t sure how to name the mix of emotions she felt at seeing them—fear, always, but now some anger too. Why hadn’t they protected Brynn better? What had they really been doing up at the tower that night?
“Come and sit, initiates.” Romas waved them in. The sound of his voice caused an odd dissonance in Alyx’s mind, like there was something she was trying to remember but couldn’t. It was the same feeling she got whenever she tried to remember...
Cold needles of dread tingled at the back of her mind, but she was distracted by Dawn’s urgent question.
“Sir, have you found Brynn?”
“Not yet, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t understand.” Alyx was upset enough to address Galien directly. “Why would they attack you and only take him? You must have just let him go, or maybe you handed him over. Why did you even take him in the first place?”
Galien’s jaw clenched. “He was closer to me than the rest of you, so I thought it best to grab him and run. It was dark and raining and the fighting was chaotic. I lost track of Brynn while I was battling the mage with the attacking force. Once it was over and I’d killed the mage, Brynn was gone.”
“Maybe he ran away to get clear of the fighting?” Dawn suggested.
“Then why hasn’t he made his way back here?” Fengel sneered.
“Fengel, enough!” Romas barked. “The initiate was under your protection, and I find your attitude appalling.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” he muttered.
“I asked you here to apologise for what happened, initiates.” Romas turned to Alyx and Dawn. “We didn’t realise the danger we placed you in. If we’d known the attack was two-pronged—from both the north and south—we’d never have sent you up to light the signal fire.”
“What happened, sir?” Alyx wanted to know.
“The attack from the north we pushed back comfortably enough, but our resources were too stretched to deal adequately with the subsequent attack from the south, and that’s how you ended up vulnerable.” Romas nodded at Galien. “First Patrol managed to kill the mage with the attacking force and drive off the remaining warriors with her. Master Rothai is chasing them down as we speak while Second Patrol is out looking for Brynn.”
“Was the mage familiar?” Dawn asked.
“No,” Romas said heavily. “You both look exhausted, so go and get some rest. You’re excused from classes for the remainder of the week. Galien, First Patrol will relieve Second if they return from their search without having found Brynn.”
“Yes, sir.”
The four of them shuffled out into the hallway together, but Galien did no more than give Alyx a dark look before striding away down the hallway, Fengel in tow.
Alyx and Dawn crawled under the covers early, but Alyx barely slept, and she heard Dawn tossing and turning all night.
“Something isn’t right about all of this, Dawn.” She spoke aloud into the dark room.
“I know.”
“We can’t trust anything Galien says, even if Romas does. If Brynn was okay he would have made it back here by now. And were First Patrol really up there that night on Romas’ orders?”
“It was chaotic, but I caught a quick glimpse of Fengel’s thoughts as he dragged me away. His intent was to get me clear, not hurt me.” Dawn paused. “Whatever was going on, Galien and Fengel were following orders. I sensed that too.”
“The same orders we overheard them talking about that night in the barn?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I was so afraid, I wasn’t focused enough to use my magic well.”
“Dawn...” she hesitated. “I don’t trust what Romas says either.”
“I feel so anxious,” Dawn said. “And worried.”
“Me too.”
“Do you think Brynn is still alive?”
“I don’t know,” Alyx whispered.
The girls woke before dawn, Alyx still feeling slightly groggy. The groups of initiates and apprentices sitting at tables in the dining hall turned to stare as they came in, but nobody came up to talk to them.
Dawn and Alyx ate silently, feeling weighed down by the stares and whispered conversations. After breakfast they went down to the stables to see to the horses.
“Finn says it’s a good sign Tarrick is still alive,” Dawn chattered as they walked through warm sunshine. “The first couple of days are critical, apparently.”
Alyx shuddered slightly. “I still can’t believe how close we came to death, how close Tarrick still is. Maybe Brynn is already dead. It scares me, I just want to go home.”
“Well, you will get to go home and see Prince Cayr soon,” Dawn teased. “Surely that will make everything better?”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever feel better again, Dawn,” Alyx said darkly.
Dawn reached out and took her hand tightly, and tears glistened in her eyes. “I know what you mean. I can’t get it out of my head, the fear and the horror. I miss Brynn already.”
Alyx returned the squeeze. “One step at a time, right?”
“Right.”
“And when I go home... see Cayr... it will help. I know it will.” She determinedly ignored the fact her magic had broken out. Her father would keep his promise, he would! She didn’t have to come back, no matter what happened with her magic.
“I’m glad you have him. Finn and I have always thought we were lucky here, to have each other to help cope. Tarrick and Brynn both knew what to expect when they came here, they’ve grown up amongst the mage life. You were alone and I think you’ve been amazing.”
Alyx turned red. “Watch out, you’ll make my head bigger than it already is. I don’t think I’ve done great at all. I’ve been miserable and depressed almost this whole year. I’ve also been terrified far too often.”
“I think we’re supposed to be scared,” Dawn said. “We’re required to survive here with little magical training, with only our wits and these staffs Howell made us build to protect ourselves.”
“I know.”
“You’re still upset about killing that man.” Dawn took her hands and squeezed them gently. “You did the right thing.”
“I killed someone. Do you know how that makes me feel?” Alyx whispered. “I never thought I was the kind of person that could kill another person. I saw his face explode in front of me, I did that. What am I doing here?”
“It’s all right.” Dawn hugged her tightly. “I’m here, no matter what happened. You saved my brother’s life and I won’t forget it.”
Alyx hugged her back, needing the comfort. After a short time, the trembling began to steady, and the lump in her throat faded. Inch by inch, she fought the tumult of horror and guilt and disgust until it was tightly shielded from her mind.
“Thanks, Dawn,” she said, stepping back.
“No problem.” Dawn smiled. “Now let’s go and see to the horses. It might help to do something mindless for a while.”
It did help. The hypnotic movements of grooming Tingo’s silky coat, as well as his affectionate companionship, relaxed Alyx. The two girls groomed their own horses, then moved on to groom the boys’ horses. Once that was done, they took turns exercising them in the field beside the stables. Aside from being a little lethargic, the horses seemed to have sustained no ill effects from their recent experience.
By the time they finished, it was lunchtime, and after a quick meal in the dining hall they headed for the healing rooms.
As they came up the stairs to the top floor, they almost ran straight into Finn who was limping down the hall towards them, his broken arm in plaster.
“I was just coming to look for you!” he panted.
“Should you be running around like that? Take it easy, Finn,” Dawn said in concern.
“Tarrick’s awake!” he said excitedly, ignoring his s
ister.
“What?” Alyx’s heart leapt. “Where?”
“In his room. He woke up an hour ago. The healers have been with him this whole time, and they say he’ll need some bed rest, but he’ll be fine.”
“Can we see him?” Dawn asked with shining eyes.
“Follow me!”
Finn turned and began limping back along the way he’d come. Dawn and Alyx followed just as quickly.
An unconscious smile spread across Alyx’s face as she saw Tarrick sitting up against the pillows. His face was covered in bruises and he looked pale as death, but his teeth flashed bright against his dark skin as he saw them.
“I’ve got visitors!” he exclaimed happily. “I’m getting so sick of those healers hovering over me.”
Alyx felt such a powerful rush of relief to hear Tarrick’s familiar confident voice again that tears welled in her eyes and she had to fight hard not to let them fall.
“You’ve only been awake an hour, Tarrick. They were worried about you,” Finn said, easing himself gingerly into a chair by the bed.
“I’m fine.”
“You weren’t fine when we dragged you back here,” Dawn said tartly.
Tarrick’s face sobered at that. “The healer told me what you did for me. I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you for it.”
Gone were all traces of Tarrick’s usually pompous manner, and the three of them awkwardly studied their shoes or the cracks in the ceiling.
“I’m serious,” Tarrick persevered despite his obvious discomfort. “I’ve treated you like you were lesser mages and innocents, just because your powers aren’t as great as mine. What you did for me was as far from ‘lesser’ as it is possible to be. I’ve been wrong, and arrogant. I apologise.”
Nobody knew what to say to this either. Finn cleared his throat loudly, which somehow made them all grin, then burst out laughing. Finn and Tarrick both winced as the laughing hurt their injuries, which prompted a healer to appear and warn Alyx and Dawn they had to leave soon.
They quickly filled both Tarrick and Finn in on their meeting with Romas. Tarrick’s face turned dark with anger.
“I don’t believe them,” he said savagely. “Galien and Fengel could have protected Brynn if they’d really tried, and now...”