by Lisa Cassidy
“Alyx?”
“Yes?”
“That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile in a while.”
Alyx stiffened under the covers. “I know.”
“You will get through this. I promise you.”
That night was when the nightmares started.
Alyx fell into a restless sleep as usual, but sometime during the night, she became aware that something was ripping her away from her slumber. She tumbled down a dark tunnel, and a sensation of utter despair and fear clutched at her mind. She tried to fight it off, tried to rid herself of the invisible bindings dragging her mind endlessly down. The further along the tunnel she descended, the faster she seemed to move.
Her struggles increased as a whisper of magic brushed across her mind; she felt it as if from a distance, like furnace heat. There was extraordinary power in that touch, like nothing she’d felt before, and Alyx knew it could destroy her with a single look. Nothing at DarkSkull could match the sublime purity of darkness that was the essence of it. Terror clutched at her and she struggled anew to free herself from being dragged ever closer towards this dark power.
Just as an eerie, flickering blue light appeared ahead, and she knew she was about to be captured and destroyed, she woke up.
Alyx shot up gasping from underneath the covers, sweat slick on her skin, breathing harshly as if she’d run for miles. The quiet darkness of the room she shared with Dawn suddenly seemed oppressive, as if what had haunted her dream was now in the waking world as well.
Unable to sit still, she threw back the quilt and jumped out of bed, feeling the cool touch of the stone floor on her bare feet. She walked the two steps to the rack by the door and picked up her staff. It flared for a minute with a pearly white shimmer at her touch, then faded back to its previous colour.
Still gulping for air, she leaned one hand on the wall and braced herself against it, trying to calm her racing heart.
“Alyx?” Dawn’s sleepy voice seemed to break the heavy sense of doom in the room, and Alyx let out a breath.
“Bad dream,” she managed.
“You sound upset.” Covers rustled as Dawn sat up. “And scared. How bad was this dream?”
“Pretty bad. I don’t remember ever being so scared in my life,” Alyx admitted. “It was worse than those times Galien came after us, and that’s saying something.”
Dawn sat up in bed, drawing the covers around her. “Let’s talk for a while, it might help.”
“Thanks.” Alyx forced herself to sit opposite Dawn on the bed.
“Was it about Brynn?”
Alyx shook her head, hugging her knees to her chest.
“Galien?”
“No, it wasn’t very specific. It was more sensation than anything else, I think.” She shook her head. “I’d rather not remember it.”
“Okay.” Dawn contemplated a moment. “It’s not long until we go home. You must be looking forward to that—especially seeing Cayr again.”
“Of course.” Alyx looked down at her feet.
“Why don’t you sound more excited about that?” Dawn asked gently.
“So much has happened since I left… I hope things are still the same at home, that’s all.”
“From what you’ve told me, Cayr loves you as much as you do him. I’m sure he’s missing you just as badly.”
“I know. It’s what he wrote in his letter, too,” Alyx admitted, ignoring the niggle of doubt in the very back of her mind. “We should try and sleep.”
“All right, Alyx.” Dawn reached across and squeezed her arm. “Wake me if you need to talk.”
Once they’d begun, the nightmares plagued Alyx regularly. Rare became the nights when she slept through without being dragged into the nightmare, and her face took on a wan, drawn appearance.
After a couple of days, instead of waking from the nightmares, she began segueing into violent memories of the warrior she’d killed. Time and time again she would see his face explode from her blast, see flesh ripped from the bone and blood splatter. Alyx began fearing to sleep at night, and on the times where the dreams didn’t plague her, she slept restlessly, unable to settle properly for fear of another dream.
Dawn was clearly worried about her, and the others too, when she told them. There was nothing they could do however, and despite entreaties from them for her to speak to Howell, Alyx did not seek help from their master. For all she knew, the nightmares were a result of something Romas had done to her mind.
She withdrew from them, knowing what was happening but unable to help herself. It was too hard to talk and joke as if everything was alright, to pretend like she wasn’t an inch away from bursting into tears most of the time. She ate with her friends and went to classes with them, but their conversations happened around her, and she rarely joined in. They tried, but she just didn’t have it in her to respond.
When exam day arrived, they filed down, yawning, to the dining hall to eat. Dawn and Finn seemed nervous, picking at their breakfast and moving it around their bowls. Tarrick tucked in with his usual gusto, however, and Alyx matched him. She’d had a nightmare-free sleep the night before, and was pondering her return home over her porridge bowl when somebody coughed discreetly behind her.
Startled, she turned and saw one of the DarkSkull servants holding a slip of paper, disapproving scowl firmly in place.
“A rider at the front gates asked that this be passed on to you, Initiate Egalion.”
“Thank you,” she said politely, ignoring the curious stares from those seated nearby.
The writing on the paper was more of a scrawl than anything else, but she recognised it from long experience.
“Heard you had to suffer through some sort of academic exam today? Do me proud and fail miserably, will you?”
She laughed, freely and unforced, for the first time in two months. Dawn looked at her, then snatched the piece of paper.
“Who’s it from?” Finn leaned over the table to peer at it.
“Dash,” Alyx answered, still chuckling. “I told you he was no good for you, Dawn. He failed out of every school lesson we had. He only passed the test for the Blue Guard because it was an athletic test, not books.”
“He’s not very bright?” Dawn looked disappointed.
“Oh, he’s bright,” Alyx said. “He just doesn’t want to bother.”
“Look, there’s more, down the bottom.” Finn squinted. “His writing is so tiny. Something about… the orchards? Oh, he says he’s in the orchards.”
“He’s in the where?” Alyx snatched the paper back.
“How did he get onto the grounds?” Dawn looked astonished.
“He’s not…” Alyx scoffed, then deciphered the tiny writing for herself. “Damn, he is. I’d better go before he gets himself caught, or worse.”
Alyx strolled across to the orchards casually, as if she were simply enjoying a morning walk in the fresh air. Once she reached the cover of the canopy of trees, she started looking everywhere. A flash of blue caught her attention and she moved through to the pretty garden in the centre of the orchards. Dashan sat on a bench by a small, tinkling fountain.
He looked up at her approach, a welcoming smile crossing his face until he got a good look at her. Then the smile vanished, replaced by the beginnings of anger.
“Alyx? What the hell happened to you?”
“What are you doing here?”
He strode towards her, taking her arm and pulling her down onto the bench. “Sit down, you look like a breeze could knock you over.”
“You haven’t answered my question,” she insisted. “We would both be in a lot of trouble if you were found here.”
“I heard rumours about an attack. They said initiates were involved, that one of them is missing and presumed dead,” he said, eyes darkening as he became angrier. “I came to make sure you are okay but you’re clearly not. Talk to me.”
“Physically, I’m fine. I’m just tired, that’s all.”
‘You’re not fine!” he
snapped, shooting to his feet and beginning to pace in front of her. “I’ll talk to Master Romas, we can leave today. I’ll take you home.”
“Dash, calm down.” She stood also.
“I’m not going to calm down! Something is clearly wrong, and until you tell me what it is, I’ll make my own assumptions.” He glared down at her, eyes dark with anger and concern.
“The initiate that went missing was my friend,” she said quietly, knowing that if she didn’t tell him something, he’d lose his temper completely. That, in her experience, never ended well.
“Oh.” His pacing stopped abruptly. “Alyx, I’m sorry.”
She nodded, refusing to meet his gaze.
“There’s more.” His tone had softened but it was still demanding.
“I was there when it happened. I was nearly killed, so were some other friends,” she managed. “Two of them were badly hurt. It was… terrifying.”
She couldn’t tell him about killing that man, couldn’t find the words.
Dashan was silent for a long moment, and then she felt his fingers on her arm, pushing her gently back down onto the bench. A moment later he settled next to her. His hand slid up to her shoulder, squeezing gently.
“We can walk out of here right now. Nobody can stop me taking you home, I promise you that,” he said quietly.
“Really, I’m fine. I can manage another week until the year is officially over. I promised my father I’d do my best to stick it out, and I don’t want to wash out now.”
“All right,” he said.
“Thank you.” She stood. “I have to go, the exam is soon. How are you going to get out?”
He offered her a sheepish grin. “I came in here during the night, so I’ll have to hide out up a tree until it’s dark again.”
She chuckled, shaking her head. “Typical Dash, making rash decisions and then having to get himself out of trouble.”
“Same old Alyx,” Dashan said. “Pretending like she’s fine when she isn’t.”
“Bye, Dash.” She turned on her heel and began walking away.
“Hey, think you could sneak me in some food later?” he called after her.
“No. You should have thought to bring some with you,” she called back, a smile on her face as she left the garden.
Strict rows of hard wooden chairs and single desks lined the main hall, maybe thirty at most. An overturned booklet and a sheaf of blank papers sat at Alyx’s desk, along with an inkpot and two quills. She recognised Madgena sitting to her left, but the girl was studiously ignoring Alyx.
Romas arrived just after they sat down. He moved to the front of the hall in quick strides, then faced them from a lectern.
“You have two hours to complete this test.” His voice echoed through the cavernous hall. “Under no circumstances are any of you to speak to anybody else for the duration of the exam.”
He looked around the room but nobody responded. “Not all of you will pass today. Good luck.” Romas flipped over an hourglass and told them to begin.
The first two pages of Alyx’s booklet were filled with questions regarding the rules of the mage order, requiring answers of only a couple of sentences. The final page of the book gave her the instruction to recount, in as much detail as possible, a particular tale from the History of Mages tome. Alyx couldn’t help a smile; there were many historical accounts in the book, but the one they’d picked was one she knew well, one of her favourites.
She was feeling a little better. Dashan’s visit had grounded her; there was a comforting familiarity in his short temper and rash nature, and so she felt relaxed rather than anxious. After sparing a brief thought to hope he made it to nightfall without being spotted, she picked up the quill.
It took Alyx the first full hour to complete the quicker questions, most of which she could answer. The second hour she spent writing furiously, recounting the tale of Shakar. It was half a century old, and told of a mage of the higher order who’d become twisted, leading him to do horrible things. He possessed extraordinary power, more than any mage of his time, and had set about turning the entire world to his will. After thousands of deaths—mage, Taliath and civilian—he’d finally been defeated when every mage still alive had united to fight him in one magnificent battle. Over a hundred mages had died, but they’d prevailed, and Shakar had been defeated and passed into legend.
Alyx was still writing the final part of the tale on her parchment when the two hours came up and Romas stopped them with a mental nudge that had them all instantly dropping their quills. His touch on her mind almost made her gag, and she had to breathe deeply, muscles rigid, until all the papers had been collected and the instinctive panic receded.
Alyx looked over and shared a smile of relief with Dawn. Her final test at DarkSkull Hall was over, and she knew without a doubt that she’d done well enough to pass, even if it wasn’t by much. Soon she was going home for once and for all. Dawn looked surprised at Alyx’s good humour, but returned the smile happily.
“The test is over,” Romas called out. “Please leave in an orderly fashion.”
Chairs scraped and conversation broke out as the initiates were released. Alyx left her desk with alacrity and went to join the others.
Dawn whooped aloud as they stepped outside, and Finn threw his arms around her in a warm hug. Even Tarrick was smiling from ear to ear, and his solemn thanks to Finn for his help had Dawn’s twin turning pink. Alyx looked out over the fields of the valley, relief relaxing her and dragging her from her misery for the first time in a long time.
“What now?” Dawn asked.
Finn sighed and glanced at the sun. “Languages class.”
The four of them were unusually solemn over dinner that evening. The sight of Brynn’s empty chair as they filed in had taken away all the joyful relief they’d felt at finishing the exam.
“He should be here,” Finn mumbled.
Tarrick shifted uncomfortably. “I was speaking with my cousin in Second Patrol earlier. They’ve called off the search.”
“What? Why?” Tears sheened in Dawn’s eyes.
“After this length of time without recovery…” Tarrick shook his head. “The Council will declare him as dead. His family will be notified.”
Alyx felt his words as if they were a physical blow. The faces of Brynn’s family filled her mind, and her heart ached at the grief they would feel at the news. They had loved him so much. And Sarah, the girl he’d planned to marry—the idea of losing Cayr was unthinkable to Alyx, and imagining how Sarah must feel caused tears to spill silently down her cheeks.
Silence fell then, each of them spooning their food around their plates, appetites gone.
“Have you had any more luck with your power, Alyx?” Finn asked after a time.
Alyx shrugged, wiping at her still-wet eyes. “You’ve been at all our lessons with Howell. No improvement.”
“You haven’t been practicing on your own?” Tarrick looked aghast.
“Why would I? I don’t want to be a mage, and if my power doesn’t want to work, then I’m perfectly happy with that.”
Tarrick opened his mouth as if to reply, but at the look on her face and a nudge from Dawn, closed it and went back to his food.
Chapter 29
Their final week at DarkSkull passed almost quickly. The weather grew warmer as summer approached, and the days were sunny and bright. As their last day finally approached, Alyx found a combination of the warm weather, her friends’ company, and the simple passage of time lifted her depression enough that once again she looked forward to going home. Thoughts about her mother, Ladan and the mages continued to gnaw at her, but she’d grown better at pushing them away when they became too much to handle.
She almost couldn’t believe it the night they sat down for their last dinner in the dining hall. She even smiled down at her bland stew and stale bread.
“Why so glum?” she asked the twins, noting they were far more quiet than usual.
“I think we’re a litt
le bit envious of you,” Dawn admitted.
“Why?”
“Well, you’re so relieved, and rightfully so. I think we sort of wish this was our last dinner ever at DarkSkull as well.”
“Oh.” Alyx felt a stab of guilt. “If you really don’t want to come back, I can speak to my father. I’m sure...”
“No,” Finn shook his head. “We want to be mages. But DarkSkull isn’t a very fun place to learn, is all.”
“That’s the point,” Tarrick spoke up.
Alyx ignored him. “I’m sorry I won’t be here with you.”
“That’s okay,” Dawn smiled. “We’re happy for you.”
Silence fell over the table as they ate. Alyx was hungry and spooned up every bite. When she was finished, she glanced up and noticed Galien staring at them from across the room. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled at the look in his dark eyes, and she quickly looked away, not wanting to draw any more of his attention.
“Finn,” she spoke. “Why does Shivasa hate Rionn so much? I mean, I know it has to do with an old war, but why such hate so many years later? I don’t understand.”
“You really want to know?” he asked.
“I do.” Alyx glanced over again and saw Galien’s dark gaze still watching them.
Tarrick caught her glance. “Galien’s issues are far deeper than an old war. It’s you that he hates, even more than he does the twins.”
“I know.” She fought back another shiver. “But I’m still curious. Even back home, Rionnans don’t trust or like the Shiven. Dashan is only half-Shiven, and he’s dealt with it all his life.”
“Well, yes, that bad feeling has its origins in the war.” Finn pushed his bowl away and placed his forearms on the table, leaning in towards them animatedly. “It happened over two hundred years ago, before Shakar and the mage war. Shivasa attacked Rionn; as is still the case, they’d like our rich farming land very much. Their countryside is only conducive to farming in very small areas, and so they’re forced to import much of their produce. If they had Rionn as part of their territory, they could be almost entirely self-sufficient.”