by Lisa Cassidy
“Did you hold up your end of the bargain, Aly-girl?” he asked gently.
“Not always,” she said honestly. “It was harder than I thought it would be, and I... I struggled. But I passed my exam and I really did try. I promise.”
He reached over and squeezed her hand. “Then I shall keep to my promise.”
Her eyes closed in utter relief. “Thank you.”
“Will you tell me why you found it so hard?”
“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head and plastered a real smile on her face. “I’m home now and it will be no time before I forget all about it. Don’t worry, Papa.”
He sighed, but seemed to give up the subject, falling silent while a servant came in to clear their dishes.
To forestall any more questions, she tried to change the topic. “How are things here? What has happened in Rionn in the past year?”
“Nothing much of note,” he replied. “There have been one or two marriages, but nobody you know all that well. Cayr has become more involved in his father’s affairs, which is about time. Lord-Mage Casovar has proven to be a powerful mage. I’m sure he’ll be interested in talking to you now that you’ve returned from DarkSkull Hall.”
“But I don’t have to go back.” Alyx looked her father in the eye.
“I said I’d keep my promise, Aly-girl. I do have two questions for you, though,” he said. “If you answer those, then I promise to stop asking anymore and let you tell me about DarkSkull in your own time.”
“All right. Ask away.”
“First question.” He took a deep breath, as if summoning his courage to ask. “Do you have mage power?”
“Yes.”
“I see.” His eyes closed, almost as if he were in pain.
“You really didn’t want this for me, did you?”
“No. I’ve always hoped you would grow up free of magic.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask about her mother, but the words simply wouldn’t come. In the end, she cleared her throat.
“What was your second question, Papa?”
“About what happened on your journey to DarkSkull... can you ever forgive me?”
“Papa, it wasn’t your fault.”
“I should never have sent you.” He was angry now, but Alyx thought the anger wasn’t directed at her. “When I heard what happened... I’ve never been so worried. If anything ever happened to you, Aly-girl, I don’t know what I would do.”
“I’m home safe,” she said, trying to reassure herself as much as him. “But since you brought it up, what about the Shiven? You were concerned about them massing on their border when I left. Dashan told me about the furore it caused when we were attacked on the way to DarkSkull. He said an agreement was signed about patrols in the disputed area.”
“An agreement was signed, and for now both sides are sticking to it. There’s nothing you need worry yourself about.” Her father’s face lightened, and he glanced at her initiate tunic and robe. “I must admit, I was surprised to see you wearing those clothes today.”
She laughed and told him about the uniform rules of DarkSkull. It wasn’t until a long time later she realised how deftly he’d changed the subject.
Chapter 31
Alyx slept better than she had in months that night, but still woke abruptly at dawn the following morning. Groaning in annoyance, she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. When that failed, she allowed herself to enjoy the luxury of being able to laze about in her soft bed. Never again would she have to drag herself up before dawn.
She felt a contentment wash over her that she hadn’t felt in months. DarkSkull was a dark gap in her memory that she no longer had to think about. She was home now, and her life could go back to how it had been before she left.
Eventually she rose to dress. Again, she luxuriated in the pleasure of her own clothes, an expensive velvet split skirt for riding and matching jacket. She felt like herself again for the first time in a year. It was liberating.
Her father looked up with a warm smile of welcome as she joined him for breakfast, and soon after a servant entered carrying a message from Cayr—inviting Alyx to a welcome home picnic he’d organised with all their court friends.
“Have fun, Aly-girl,” her father said in resignation as she immediately leapt up from the table.
“Thanks, Papa. I love you,” she called as she ran out.
Alyx smiled as her friends drowned her in excited shrieks of happiness, and returned their greetings warmly. It was wonderful to see them again.
“Tell us all about DarkSkull,” Mira gushed in excitement. “Is it really haunted?”
“It was awful,” Alyx said. “And boring. Tell me everything that’s happened while I was away. I’ve missed so much.”
“Well.” Karina gave a dramatic sigh. “Jaran and Lissa broke up, and then Jaran was courting Jenna for a while. But now I think Jaran is back with Lissa.”
Alyx chuckled in amusement. “Jaran and Lissa have been fighting nonstop since we were children. I don’t think they’ll ever stop. Who is Jenna though?”
“Lord-Mage Casovar’s daughter,” Karina replied. “She’s over there.”
Alyx looked to where Karina was pointing, recognizing the stunning blonde girl she’d met just before leaving. Jenna was standing in a small group with Cayr and two of the other young men from the court.
“She’s so pretty,” Mira replied. “Just like you.”
Alyx laughed. “I wish I was that pretty.”
“Have you heard about Torn and Leila yet?” Karina said conspiratorially as she linked her arm through Alyx’s.
“No. What happened?”
Cayr eventually joined Alyx, who by then was sitting at the centre of a large group of young women. They’d been discussing a recent scandalous affair involving an older lord and a young servant. Alyx was mostly just listening, trying not to lose interest as Lissa rambled on about the court’s reaction to the scandal. Cayr dropped down beside her, sitting close, and they shared a quick smile.
Not long after Cayr came over, Jenna appeared with Jaran and Torn.
“Torn wants to go swimming in the pond, I think it’s a fantastic idea,” she said enthusiastically.
Dresses rustled as the girls leapt to their feet.
“Come on, Alyx, it will be fun,” Cayr rose and held out his hand to her.
“Sounds like it,” she agreed, sliding her hand into his and allowing him to take her along with the crowd.
Swimming turned out to be the girls sitting on the edge of the pond with their feet in the water, while the boys engaged in a vigorous water fight.
Alyx cheered enthusiastically for Cayr’s team, as did Jenna and most of the other girls.
“It’s nice to have you back, Alyx,” Jenna spoke.
“Thank you.”
“We didn’t get much of a chance to become friends before you left. I’m hoping we can rectify that now.”
In truth, Alyx wanted to avoid Lord-Mage Casovar as much as possible, and that included his daughter, but she’d been raised to always be polite “Of course, that would be nice.”
“You’ve been gone so long. If you have any questions about what you’ve missed, please ask me. I’d love to help.”
Alyx laughed. “I’m sure it won’t take me too long. After all, I did grow up here.”
“You’re right. And of course, Prince Cayr is very good at making people feel included.”
“Yes.” Alyx gave her an odd glance. “He’s good like that.”
“Oh look,” Jenna shrieked, her attention diverted. “Torn just got soaked!”
Alyx suppressed the urge to jump in and defend Torn’s honour, and merely clapped along in excitement with the girls when a few moments later, Cayr half-drowned Torn’s attacker. The two young men slapped each other enthusiastically on the back as they were declared winners of the fight. Jaran and his team-mate accepted the loss gracefully and they all climbed out of the pond, causing the girls to shriek and run as th
e young men deliberately dripped water all over them.
Alyx’s father brightened at the sight of the sparkle in her eyes and the new flush on her cheeks when she walked through the door that evening.
“Just in time for dinner.” He wrapped an affectionate arm around her shoulders as they walked through to the dining room.
Alyx raised her eyes at the size of her dinner plate. “I’m not that hungry, Papa.”
“Eat as much as you can,” Garan instructed. “You need to start eating better. Clearly you weren’t at DarkSkull.”
Alyx ignored his hint and began eating. “How was your day?”
“Business as usual, and yours?”
“It was wonderful,” she said, and proceeded to tell him all about it.
It felt normal again, sitting at the dining table and telling her father all the little, silly things that happened in her day. He laughed and smiled, questioning her as if her account interested him more than anything else. It was so comforting, she didn’t want to ruin the mood by bringing up Ladan, and her father didn’t push for further information about her time at DarkSkull either.
When she went to bed that night, she felt more relaxed than she had in a long time.
After a leisurely lie in and late breakfast the next morning, Alyx took one of her father’s carriages and had the footman drive her north out of the city to the estate that Cayr’s father had gifted Astor on his retirement.
The grounds and mansion were far smaller than those of Alyx’s family, but they were picturesque, and had a wonderful view over the ocean.
Astor himself came down the steps to greet Alyx as the carriage rolled to a halt. He looked exactly as she remembered, tall and lean with short silver-grey hair and a vigorous stride. The grey tunic and breeches he wore under a sweeping black robe no longer looked odd to Alyx.
“Alyx!”
“Astor.” She smiled and allowed herself to be swept into a warm hug. She’d missed her god-father, and wasn’t surprised at the rush of gladness she felt to see him again.
“Let me look at you.” He stood back and studied her carefully. “Yes, I can see how much you’ve changed. I imagine it was quite an experience at DarkSkull.”
“You could say that,” she said.
“Come in, come in.” He took her arm and led her through the front doors “You’re just in time for tea and crumpets.”
She chuckled. “I’ve missed your tea and crumpets.”
“I’ll bet you have, if what they fed initiates at DarkSkull while I was there is anything to go by.”
Alyx looked away, busying herself with taking in the bright, airy room Astor had brought her to. Large windows looked out over the ocean, and two small couches surrounded a table near one of them. The rest of the room was taken up by Astor’s books. He cleared a large pile from one of the couches as a maid entered and placed a tray of tea and crumpets on the table.
“Alyx, sit down.” He waved her to the now-empty couch. “I heard through the grapevine that you’d returned. I’m delighted you’ve come to visit me so soon.”
Something about his casual tone bothered Alyx, and the sharp-edged question spilled out before she could stop it. “Why didn’t you warn me?”
Astor’s merry face sobered. “DarkSkull hasn’t changed any since I was there, I suppose.”
“I don’t understand. After my mother died, you became like another father to me. You never said anything about me possibly having mage powers, not in sixteen years. You knew exactly how awful DarkSkull is. You didn’t prepare me for any of it.”
“Alyx, please, sit down.”
Alyx hesitated, then sat on the couch opposite Astor. He was silent as he busied himself making two cups of tea.
“If it makes any difference, I didn’t know in advance that Lord-Mage Casovar was planning to send you to DarkSkull.”
“But you knew there was a chance I had mage powers?”
He stared down at his tea, then looked up at her. “Yes.”
Resentment flashed through her. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“There were a multitude of reasons, not least that you were never interested in anything about my mage life.”
“No, I wasn’t, yet you let the king and my father send me to DarkSkull Hall.”
“An ex-lord-mage can no more counter a king’s orders than a senior lord can. Your father fought bitterly to change the king’s mind, but Darien was resolute. If you’d like to blame anyone, blame Cayr’s father.”
“You both knew I could break out. You could have prepared me better for that.”
“True.” Astor sat back. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. Have you broached this topic with your father yet?”
“No. Mainly because I don’t ever want to think about DarkSkull ever again,” she said. “Talking about it… makes me remember.”
Astor’s piercing blue eyes studied her, making her uncomfortable. “Your eyes have changed. Before you left they were light and innocent. Now you bear scars.”
Brynn’s face flashed into Alyx’s mind and she pushed it away. “I said I don’t want to talk about it, Astor.”
“You’re not going back then?”
“No.”
“Does that mean you didn’t break out? That you aren’t a mage as Lord-Mage Casovar thought?”
“No. He was right,” she said quietly. “Despite how desperately I wanted him to be wrong.”
“Can I ask what sort of power you developed?” The piercing look disappeared from Astor’s face, replaced by curiosity.
Alyx smiled. “If you tell me first?”
Astor chuckled. “After seventeen years, she finally asks me! I’m a lesser mage. My power lies in memory and learning.”
“If that’s the case, how did you become lord-mage? I don’t mean any offence.”
“None taken.” Astor waved a hand. “Your father and I have been friends for a long time. When he recommended me to the king, Rionn was safe and at peace, and all that was needed was a mage advisor who was highly educated and had a head for detail.”
“How did you and my father meet?” Alyx wondered that she’d never asked these questions before. She’d never even thought about how Astor had become her godfather. On the heels of those questions came a surge of guilt. She’d been so self-involved, caring about nothing that didn’t immediately affect her little world.
“A trade negotiation between Tregaya and Rionn. We were both there in an advisory capacity.”
Alyx glanced down to where her fingers were toying with a loose thread on the couch. She warred with herself about pushing further, but somehow it felt easier with Astor than her father.
“When did my mother die, Astor?”
“That’s an odd question.” He frowned. “You were five.”
“How did she die?” Her heart thudded in fear she’d see signs of dishonesty in his face, but he didn’t look uncomfortable.
“Your father has told you this story. Why are you bringing it up now?”
“He told me my mother died in an accident when I was five.”
“There you go.”
“So that’s what you’re telling me too?” she pushed him.
“It is. Alyx, what are you getting at?”
He seemed sincere, but it had always been impossible to tell his true thoughts behind the mask of cool thoughtfulness he wore. She hesitated, the urge to push him harder proving stronger than she’d thought it would.
Eventually she sighed. “Nothing. I just want to forget about DarkSkull, go back to my old life where I was happy.”
“The world seems a different place now, doesn’t it?” Astor asked her gently. “And as hard as you might try, you won’t be able to put it all away in a little box and forget about it.”
“I can if I try hard enough.” She stood. “Thank you for the tea. I should get going.”
“You’ll come and visit me again?”
“Absolutely.”
They walked in companionable silence out to
the carriage.
He turned to her. “We got distracted, and you never did tell me what your power was.”
Alyx went to reply automatically, then remembered what Howell had told her. “I displayed a telepathic talent, but I’m not very strong.”
“Really?” Alyx thought she saw puzzlement in his faded blue eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “Well, I suppose it’s no great loss then, you not going back to DarkSkull. Have a good day, Alyx.”
“Thank you for saving me.” Alyx smiled up at Cayr.
They were walking hand in hand through the palace gardens after spending the afternoon in the palace gardens with their friends. Cayr had offered to walk Alyx home.
“From Mira and the others?” He looked puzzled.
“You may have spent the afternoon kicking the ball around and showing off for the girls, but I had to sit there and listen to hours of gossip about Lord Ragarn and his mistress.”
“You love gossiping about that sort of thing,” Cayr said.
“I do, but a different topic of conversation is worthwhile every now and then. It’s like they have nothing but air in their heads.”
“Alyx?” Cayr tugged on her hand, stopping them both. “That doesn’t sound like you.”
Alyx looked at him in puzzlement. “What do you mean?”
“You are one of those girls, Alyx. I mean, I know we always talked about anything and everything, but that was between us. Your conversations with Mira and Lissa and the other girls were always… well... girly.”
“Girly?”
“You know, about dresses and parties and the latest court scandal.”
“There are more things in life than dresses and parties and the latest court scandal, Cayr.”
“I know. I just… you’ve never said anything like that before either.” He frowned.
Alyx hesitated. The truth was, she’d been bored all afternoon until having Cayr for company. He seemed upset at the idea though, so she summoned a smile for him. “I’m still me. Give me some time to settle back in. I’ve only been home a week. I still love all that stuff.”