by Lisa Cassidy
As Tingo fell in with the column of riders, a tendril of despair worked its way through her chest. This wasn’t where she was supposed to be! If only she could go back two years and just be sixteen-year-old Alyx, dreamily in love with her best friend since childhood, Prince Cayr Llancarvan. Now she was half-mage Alyx, her love for her best friend complicated and shaken by his betrayal and her decision to leave him again.
Roland returned to the main column a short time later to lead them to the place he and Tijer had chosen to make camp. Alyx dismounted and lingered to unsaddle Tingo herself. Her hopes of a moment alone were dashed when all the Bluecoats but Dashan dispersed to set up camp, and she heaved an internal sigh.
“We’re pretty close to Widow Falls. In fact, I’m surprised Lord Mirren’s fighters haven’t made an appearance yet,” Dashan said casually, unbuckling his horse’s girth strap. “They must be otherwise occupied.”
“Like with that group of Shiven that’s been trailing us all week?” Alyx said.
Dashan chuckled. “Or with another one very much like them, yeah.”
Alyx’s head dropped forward to rest on Tingo’s neck. Her grimy skin itched and her muscles ached with exhaustion. The nightmare pushed on the periphery of her thoughts, trying to make her remember. All her noble reasons for returning to DarkSkull Hall had lost any power they had to make her feel better. Even the thought of seeing Dawn and her friends again was little comfort.
“You going to tell me what happened back there?”
Her fingers curled against Tingo’s warm hide. Dashan was stubborn at the best of times, and she could tell from his voice he wasn’t going to let this go. “I had a bad dream last night, that’s all.”
Two words. Whispered into the darkness. “Alyx Egalion.”
“Seems like it was more than just a bad dream.”
She turned away from him. “I don’t know why I’m doing this.”
“You’re doing this because your magic helped save not only your father’s life but your king’s when the palace was attacked. And you’re doing it because Cayr broke your heart, and you’re running away from the pain.”
“And why are you here, Dash?” Her voice was sharp, needled by how accurate his words had been. When had he become so perceptive?
“Me?” The rakish grin returned. “Because I love nothing better than traipsing through endless miles of forest being hunted by ruthless killers who’d like to skin me and then roast me for dinner.”
“Roasted and eaten for dinner?” She raised her eyebrows. “I didn’t know you Shiven were cannibals. Explains a lot.”
“Does it?” Dashan’s face hardened, as it always did when someone referred to his half-Shiven blood. The fact his mother had been Shiven, a mistress of his Rionnan lord father, had dogged him all his life. Alyx’s remark had been calculated to counter his cheerful needling of her, and even though it had worked, guilt instead of satisfaction washed through her. The things that annoyed her about Dashan had nothing to do with his parentage.
“On second thought, no,” she said airily. “The deliberately dishevelled appearance, the love of drinking to excess, the womanizing, that’s all you, Dashan.”
“I had no idea you thought such wonderful things about me,” he snapped. “I suppose you learned all those big words in between your embroidery lessons and classes on being a snotty rich girl.”
She snorted. “I’m going to go and find something to eat, then try and get some sleep.”
His voice followed her as she stalked off. “Princess needs her beauty sleep.”
“I am not a princess,” she muttered.
She was halfway to the campfire when she finally realised what he’d said and stopped dead, turning to jog back over to him. “Dash!”
“What?” Rummaging through his saddlebags, he didn’t look at her.
“Listen, will you? This is important.” Alyx stopped beside him.
“Is it?” He closed the strap of one bag and began undoing the buckle on the next. “I don’t have patience for more of your caustic observations about my character right now.”
“How did you know?”
“How did I know what?” He stopped finally, turning to look at her with an exasperated expression.
“That I used magic on the night of the attack.” She lowered her voice, glancing around to make sure they were still alone. “Nobody but the twins and Tarrick know that.”
“I was there, remember?”
“Nobody else noticed.” She deliberately kept her voice low, hoping he would follow suit. Despite their differences, Dashan was one of her oldest friends and he would never betray her, but even so, it was uncomfortable to realise someone else knew the extent of her magic. The masters at DarkSkull had been frighteningly clear on the dangers that faced a mage like her.
“Oh, your pride is injured, is it? Nobody saw you be the hero.”
“Dammit, will you stop flapping your big mouth for once!” Alyx said in exasperation. “It has nothing to do with my pride. I don’t want people to know. You can’t say anything, okay?”
“Why?”
“It’s a long story. Suffice to say, the less anyone knows about my magic, the better.”
“Fine,” he said, curiosity flickering over his face. “How does it work, anyway? Your magic steals other mage’s abilities?”
“I don’t steal anything,” she huffed. “But I have the ability to absorb—copy in a way—the abilities of mages I spend a lot of time around. What I do doesn’t affect their power.”
“Hmm. Interesting.”
“And my decision to go back to DarkSkull, it’s not just about running away from Cayr,” she felt compelled to add. “Or using magic to help in the attack on the palace... well, at least not completely.”
“Whatever you say.” He reached deep into the second bag and then grinned in triumph. “Found it!” He waved a silver flask in front of her, still grinning. “This will go down nicely with dinner.”
“I loathe you,” she grumbled and turned away.
The bastard laughed, making her even madder as she stomped back down to the camp to get something to eat. The Bluecoats—a nickname given to members of the king’s elite cavalry guard—manning the campfire were trying but failing to hide grins of amusement as she returned.
“Hungry, Lady Egalion?” Casta asked, eyes dancing.
“Ravenous. What delights have you cooked up for us today?”
“I’m roasting some gourmet rabbit.” He flashed a smile. “It’s just as delicious as yesterday’s, I promise.”
“Nothing could beat the roasted rabbit from four days ago, though.” She returned the smile.
Tijer snorted. “Indeed.”
Some of Alyx’s dark mood lifted at her interaction with the two Bluecoats. Both were familiar to her from her harrowing first journey to DarkSkull Hall—those terrifying days had formed a bond of mutual respect despite the difference in their ages and social standing. Apart from Dashan, only four Bluecoats of twenty had survived that journey, and the fact all four had volunteered to return with her warmed her each time she thought of it.
As if summoned by her thoughts, Roland and Jenka appeared from the trees, laughing—likely at something Roland had said. Both had a quick smile for Alyx as they joined Casta and Tijer by the fire. Listening to their banter over the quality of Casta’s cooking dispelled almost all her remaining bad mood.
Dashan appeared then, strolling into the clearing and tossing his flask at Casta. “Make sure everyone gets a swig with dinner. I’m going to take first watch.”
“Yes, sir.” Casta nodded.
Her shoulders sagged in relief as Dashan disappeared into the surrounding trees. As much as she appreciated having a Bluecoat escort, she sometimes wished Dashan wasn’t the one leading it, and was grateful for the temporary break from his company. Cayr’s intentions in sending Dashan along with her had been good, but she and Dashan didn’t share the same type of friendship as they each did respectively with the prince. C
ayr was a dreamer. He saw the best in everyone and was often blinded to their flaws. It was one of the things she loved about him, but it was a dangerous quality for a future king, and she hoped he would learn to temper his optimism.
Thinking of Cayr made her miss him with a sharp ache, followed by a twinge of pain. That he’d kissed Jenna, of all people... stunningly beautiful, popular Jenna Casovar. Worse, he’d lied to her about it. Their whole lives, they’d never lied to each other. A sigh escaped her—she had to stop dwelling on it. Cayr had made a mistake, an awful one, but he loved her. She didn’t doubt that. And she loved him. Now she just had to do what she’d set out to do and they could have the future they’d always wanted. With a sigh, she rubbed at her tired eyes—that future seemed a long way in the distance.
As the evening progressed, clouds gathered overhead and a light rain started falling, tapping on the tarpaulin the Bluecoats had erected. Dashan re-appeared as twilight turned into full night, joining the Bluecoats at their fire for a brief chat. Nario and Josha appeared out of the dimness to be replaced by Tijer and Roland on watch. Dashan rose to speak briefly with the two new sentries.
“We’re well inside Rionnan territory, Lieutenant,” Tijer said. “We shouldn’t have any issue with the Shiven. The patrol shadowing us hasn’t made any move to cross the border.”
“No, but now we watch out for the Madman’s warriors,” Dashan remarked. “Just as likely to spit us with an arrow as the Shiven.”
Irritation flickered, despite knowing Dashan was ignorant of Alyx’s true relationship to the lord of Widow Falls. “His name is Ladan,” she called out.
Dashan turned towards her, eyebrows raised. “On a first-name basis are you? That certainly doesn’t fill me with warmth. He’s a hardened warrior who doesn’t take kindly to people trespassing on his lands, Rionnan or otherwise.”
“I suppose you get that from knowing him so well,” she snapped. “Drinking buddies, are you?”
“I’m concerned for you, that’s all,” Dashan retorted. “Apologies for caring.”
“You don’t need to be concerned.”
“Fine.”
They dissolved into angry silence. Alyx didn’t know why Dashan’s protectiveness bothered her so much, but it did. He had good reason for it. Dashan didn’t know that Ladan was Alyx’s brother. All he knew was what he’d heard, and what he’d experienced the first time they’d travelled to DarkSkull, when Ladan had practically kidnapped them all after they’d accidentally stumbled onto his lands while fleeing from the Shiven.
With a sigh, Alyx conceded she’d soon have to tell Dashan who Ladan was. He wouldn’t let it go otherwise. Something in her was holding back though—her parents had gone through so much to keep her and Ladan hidden and safe apart from each other, and even though she still didn’t truly understand why, instinct cautioned her to protect the knowledge that they were connected.
Dashan finished up with Tijer and came over to sit down at Alyx’s fire. His face was hard and set, and she remembered her earlier thought that he looked older than his years. It’s something in his eyes, she thought, and the grim nature of his expression.
It had taken her weeks after her return to Rionn to notice the change in him, and even then she’d been too caught up in her own concerns to make much of an effort to find out what was wrong. Cayr hadn’t been willing to discuss it with her either. Another betrayal—but she pushed that thought aside.
“What happened?” she broke the silence.
He sighed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about and I’m too tired to argue with you. Whatever it is, just spit it out.”
“You’re different. You’re angrier, harder, and even though I know you never really liked me much, there’s an edge to your teasing now.”
Dashan chuckled, but there was a ragged edge to his laughter. “It’s been what, almost two months since you returned from DarkSkull?” he said bitterly. “And now you notice that I’ve changed?”
“I noticed,” she said evenly, accepting his bitterness was deserved and pushing on. “I asked you about it, when you came to visit me after I found out about Jenna and Cayr. I asked Cayr too, but he wouldn’t tell me. I should have tried harder and I’m sorry I didn’t. I was too caught up in my own issues. I’m asking again now.”
He said nothing for a long moment, instead reaching into his pocket to pull out a hunk of stale bread. He didn’t eat it though, just stared at it sitting in his hand, thoughts lost in a place far away.
“I was sent to the disputed area,” he said eventually, the words clipped. “While you were at DarkSkull, my unit was on the border.”
“Oh.” She hesitated. “I thought Cayr said he could prevent—”
“He was wrong,” Dashan said harshly.
Shocked, Alyx couldn’t think of anything to say. It was unlikely anything she said would help anyway—his face was closed and he was deliberately looking away from her. He’d withdrawn into himself. She’d seen it before when they were children, usually after he’d had a particularly hard time with his father.
A memory floated into her mind, of that long-ago day on the beach when she’d heard Dashan and Cayr talking about Dashan being posted to the border. Cayr had laughingly promised that he could make sure that never happened. Alyx clearly remembered the look of doubt in Dashan’s dark eyes, and a spark of anger at Cayr flickered in her.
He’d known about this, and he hadn’t told her. Just like kissing Jenna. It was as if ever since she’d returned to Rionn, Cayr had been determined to ignore everything that had happened in her absence. Not that she could blame him for that. Guilt squirmed in her chest—she’d done exactly the same thing.
“You can stop staring at me, Alyx. I’m fine.”
Alyx blinked—she had been staring.
“You should get some rest,” he continued.
“So should you,” she said softly.
That earned her nothing but silence, and she studied him for a moment. She couldn’t expect him to be willing to talk to her when she shut him down every time he asked her what was wrong.
“I started having the nightmares last year while I was at DarkSkull,” she said eventually.
He kept his eyes on the bread in his hands. “And that’s what you had this morning?”
“They’re awful. It’s this sensation of being trapped, stifled, and memories keep flashing in vivid light, things that I’ve...” Three Shiven warriors disintegrating before her. Blood spraying. Screams piercing her mind. Carnage. She cleared her throat. “This morning was different. It ended differently.”
“What do you mean?”
She looked down at her hands, noticed for the first time how they were curled into a white-knuckled grip. “There was a voice. It was so clear. And it said my name. I think...” She shook her head, having to force the words out. “I think someone is giving me these nightmares.
“Is that possible?” He kept his voice casual, his eyes away from her. It was calming.
“It could be. I don’t know. In the moment, it’s so real, but then the sun rises and I’m less certain.” She considered. “I’ll talk to Finn when I get to DarkSkull—he’s probably read something about this type of thing.”
“That’s a good idea. In the meantime, you still need to get rest.” He rose to his feet. “If you have the nightmare again, come and wake me. It might help to talk it through.”
“Thanks, Dash.”
He gave a slight nod and was gone, striding over to join the other Bluecoats. The last thing Alyx wanted was to fall asleep and risk having the nightmare again, but she nonetheless picked up her blanket and stretched out by the crackling flames.
Despite her weariness, sleep didn’t come easily that night, not least because of the cold and hard ground. Somewhere around dawn, she must have fallen into a proper sleep because she woke to shouts and the sound of ringing steel.
Alyx shoved off her blanket and sat up, trying to process the scene before her with a sleep-groggy mind. Several Blueco
ats were on their feet in the centre of the clearing, swords drawn and pointed at two strange warriors who were prodding Casta and Jenka into the clearing with their swords. Their hard expressions and motley clothing marked them as Widow Falls men, and she scrambled to her feet in concern. This could escalate quickly.
“Nobody move!” Dashan bellowed as he stepped into the space between the two parties. “You have ten seconds to put your swords down before I kill you.”
“Dash, stop!” Alyx pushed past the furious-looking Bluecoats to reach Dashan. “They’re Widow Falls men.”
“That won’t stop me from killing them if they don’t let my Bluecoats go. Back up, Alyx.”
“Calm down, Bluecoat,” one of the Widow Falls’ men spoke. “We’re not here to attack—we didn’t want your two sentries shooting us in the back once they realised we’d slipped past their pathetic watch.”
“Sheathe your swords!” Alyx ordered the Bluecoats, speaking before Dashan could. “Dash, you too. Do it.”
He glanced at her, eyes flashing with fury, the hand holding his sword clenching into a white-knuckled grip. “You’re giving me orders?”
“I’m the daughter of Lord Egalion, and I’m the one who is in ultimate charge here,” she said firmly. “Sheathe your sword, now.”
He hesitated, shoulders rigid, but eventually he stepped back and sheathed his sword in a single violent movement. At a sharp look from Alyx, the Bluecoats behind her did the same.
Turning, she addressed the trees around them. “Romney, I know you’re there. Get out here.”
Ladan’s second appeared silently, making a quick hand gesture towards his warriors as he did so. They lowered their swords and stepped back from Casta and Jenka. As disciplined and efficient as the Bluecoats she thought to herself, proud of her brother.
“We’re not on Widow Falls land yet, Romney. What are you doing?”
“You’re close enough, Lady Egalion. Lord Mirren sent us to escort you in.”
She fought not to roll her eyes. “And you had to show up our sentries to do that?”