by Lisa Cassidy
She found him sitting alone on the steps outside a side entrance to the barracks. The pensive look on his face tugged at her—what an awful time he must have had last year, and she’d been completely oblivious to it. He said nothing as she sat beside him.
“Well,” she began conversationally, “you must think me a self-centred fool going on about my terrible year at DarkSkull these past weeks, when yours must have been just as bad, if not worse.”
He glanced over at her, a smile creeping across his face. “Since that’s pretty much how I already thought of you…”
“Shut up.” She punched him in the arm, then sobered. “Forgive me?”
“Already done.” Dashan leaned over with a conspiratorial air. “I think our Lord Mirren is in love with you.”
She snorted.
“I can tell these things.” He tapped his nose.
“He’s not. Besides, I’m sort-of taken.”
“Sort of?” A raised eyebrow.
She rolled her eyes. “I think we both know I’ll never marry anyone but Cayr, even if we are temporarily apart. I’ll get past my hurt, he’ll forgive me for being away so long, and everything will be as it was.” It all sounded so simple, but a niggle in the back of her mind warned that it might not be. She dismissed it. Surely not everything had to be hard.
“I know.” He leaned back, running a hand through his hair and glancing away.
“Dash...” She hesitated. “There is a reason for the way Ladan behaves towards me.”
“Yes?”
“He’s my brother.”
“Oh.” Dashan seemed utterly taken back by her statement, as if he weren’t sure whether she was joking or not. After a moment, when he realised she was serious, his gaze turned bright with curiosity. “Tell me about it.”
So she told him.
It made her lighter, somehow, to get everything off her chest. She told Dashan about Ladan being her brother, and her mother leaving her father. She told him that her father was a Taliath and her mother a mage of the higher order, and that the Mage Council had known it all along.
Dashan listened patiently as it all came out in a rush, waited until she’d finished talking, then reached over and squeezed her hand. “Seems to me this Ladan might be a man worth knowing, after all,” he said.
Alyx huffed out a laugh and leaned into his shoulder for a moment. “Thanks, Dash.”
He quirked a smile. “I’m still not afraid of you. I don’t care how amazing both your parents were.”
“Good to know.” She chuckled.
“I might be a smidgeon more afraid of Ladan now, though.”
She laughed aloud.
The man himself appeared a short time later, riding into the yard at a gallop, Romney behind him. Alyx and Dashan approached his sweating horse as he reined in. Ladan dismounted smoothly—his expression was closed at the presence of Dashan, and Alyx stifled a sigh. She wondered whether he was ever able to relax around others.
“I’ve been rude,” Dashan spoke first, holding out his hand. “My only excuse is that Alyx is in my charge and I was concerned for her safety. Please accept my apology, Lord Mirren.”
Ladan stared at him a long moment before slowly moving to take the hand. The expression on his face didn’t change as they shook.
Dashan smiled. “My friends call me Dash, sir.”
Ladan looked at Alyx accusingly. “You told him?”
“I’ve known Dash my whole life. He and Prince Cayr are my oldest friends.”
“I can be trusted,” Dashan said. “Although I understand that you don’t know that yet.”
“No, I don’t.”
“I was speaking with one of your warriors earlier, and he told me there are two spots along your northern border with Shivasa that run close to Tregaya. They’re too far east to be of use travelling to DarkSkull efficiently, but it set me thinking. Would you mind taking me out to have a look?”
“Dash!” Alyx protested. “I can’t afford to linger.”
“This would only take a day or two, I promise, and I think it could be very important.”
“Why?” Ladan demanded.
“I’d be happy to explain on the way.”
Ladan stared at him for a long moment fraught with tension. Alyx glanced between the two young men, holding her breath for a positive outcome. Ladan was cold and prickly and held a shield to the world to keep him at a distance from everyone. Yet Dashan was a naturally charming man when he wanted to be. If anyone could get through Ladan’s reserve, it would be him.
“It’s a long ride, and the nights here are cold,” Ladan eventually said.
“A bit of cold won’t bother me,” Dashan said easily. “And I don’t mind a long ride either.”
“Very well,” Ladan said tersely. “Alyx, you’ll be safe here.”
Dashan turned to her. “We’ll be as quick as we can, I promise.”
“If you say it’s important, I believe you,” she told him. “And I suppose an extra day or two won’t make a massive difference. I’m going to be late as it is.”
“I’ll gather some men and we can leave within the hour,” Ladan said. “Your Bluecoats must stay, they don’t know the territory like my warriors do.”
“I understand.” Dashan shrugged. “They could use a short break, and I’ll be happier knowing Alyx has a unit of Bluecoats watching her.”
“I’ll be fine, Dash.”
He smiled. “I know.”
Edar approached Alyx as she ate breakfast alone the next morning. She greeted him with a smile when he stopped by her chair and bowed politely.
“When you have a moment, Lady Egalion, there is something Lord Mirren asked me to show you,” he said.
Alyx pushed aside the remnants of her oatmeal and stood. “Now is as good a time as any.”
He led her to a wing of the house she’d never been to before. Here, a thin layer of dust covered the floor and as she glanced into the rooms they passed, she saw white sheets covering the furniture inside.
“We don’t use this wing anymore,” Edar explained unnecessarily. “Perhaps one day it will open again. If the lord marries and has children.”
He stopped outside the only closed door in the hallway and drew a single brass key from his pocket. As carefully as he did everything else, he slid the key into the lock, opening it with a soft click.
“This was his mother’s private room.” Edar turned to her. “Lord Mirren asked that I give you some time here.”
“Oh.” Alyx’s eyes shot straight to the unlocked door. Of all the things she might have been expecting, it wasn’t this. Her mother’s room.
“It hasn’t been touched since the day she left.” A note of melancholy weighed down his words.
“You miss her?” Alyx asked.
He smiled slightly. “She was kind to me.”
“Thank you for bringing me here. Shall I call for you when I’m done?”
“Just bring me the key.” He held it out to her. “I’ll most likely be in the kitchens until lunch.”
The door swung open silently when Alyx pushed on it. Unlike the rest of the wing, this room had been looked after over the years. The key in her fingers was worn smooth from frequent use, and the floor inside had been swept clean.
After stepping inside, she allowed the door to swing closed behind her, standing still to take in her surroundings. Two arched windows opposite her looked out over the estate walls and the forest beyond. It was a grey morning, and a light drizzle ran in rivulets down the glass. To Alyx’s right was a fireplace that took up almost the entire wall, and on the mantle were two even stacks of books. A desk stood near the fireplace, and on the left side of the room a small closet sat beside a bookcase filled with more books as well as sheaves of neatly stacked parchment. It was clear the user of this room had prized neatness and order. Alyx’s mouth twitched in a smile. She saw now where Ladan must have gotten his carefulness and precision from.
After a long moment, she went to the books on the mantle
first, running her fingers lightly over the old, worn covers. They, too, were free of dust. Most of them seemed to deal with mage lore of various kinds, making Alyx frown—had her mother been a scholar of some kind? It was odd to think that. Alyx wasn’t particularly scholarly, and neither her father nor Ladan were either.
The desk was clear of all but a dried-out inkpot and quill. One drawer held blank sheets of parchment, while another held what looked to be an unfinished letter.
Dear Rein,
I heard today that Terin is in the region helping with re-planting crops that died during recent floods, so I’ll do my best to get this letter to him before he leaves and it should eventually make its way to you.
I miss you, old friend. I particularly miss our long conversations. You’ll be happy to know Hodin continues to look out for me, as devoted to keeping Ladan safe as I am. I truly don’t know what I’d do without him. I wish I could come back, continue our work together, but I still think it’s safer if I don’t...
The letter trailed off there. Alyx stared at it for a long time, wondering what had been going through her mother’s mind when she’d written it. Whatever it was that had made her leave Widow Falls so suddenly had obviously happened after she’d started writing the letter—maybe it was the reason the letter was never finished. Who was Terin? Could he, or she, have been the catalyst that led to her mother’s departure?
Letting out a sigh, Alyx re-folded the letter and placed it back in the drawer. Rising from the desk, she crossed to the closet. Inside hung a single black mage robe and nothing else. Tentatively she reached out, brushing her fingers over the rough cloth. One day Alyx would wear one of these. Just like her mother. A smile curled her mouth at the thought, and she promised herself that after passing the trials she would come back for this robe and claim it as her own.
Closing the closet, her attention turned to the bookcase, idle curiosity making her draw a small, thin book from amongst the others. It had a light blue cover, the words Applications of Mage Power in Farming embossed on the front. Smiling to herself, Alyx tucked the book into her robe.
Before leaving, she took one final look around the room, wondering what thoughts had gone through her mother’s head as she sat at the desk or stood by the window. Had she known there was a chance she was never coming home, that she’d never see Ladan or Alyx again?
Chapter 4
Dashan and Ladan returned just before dawn two days later. Worried about both—there was a good chance they’d either been attacked by Shiven, or by each other—Alyx was already awake and nursing a hot mug of tea in the kitchen. The delicious smell of baking bread surrounded her, and she was warm and comfortable despite her concerns.
There were shouts from the front gates and then the clatter of hooves on cobblestone. Minutes later, Dashan and Ladan entered through the outer door. Both wore thick cloaks with scarves wrapped around their necks.
“You made it.” Alyx stood to welcome them.
“There was no need for you to have worried.” Ladan frowned, moving straight for the oatmeal bubbling over a fire. “Who made this?”
“Edar. He saw me up early and I think he was worried that hunger had driven me out of bed.”
“Have you eaten any?”
“No.”
“Then eat.” He spooned out several lots into a bowl and placed it on the table before her. “You’ll need energy.”
Worry lurched in her chest and she turned to Dashan. “For what?”
“Lord Mirren’s scouts picked up two patrolling bands of Shiven right inside the disputed area,” Dashan said. “There’s a window for us to slip through between them if we leave soon. You eat, I’ll go and rouse the Bluecoats.”
“What about you, aren’t you hungry?” Alyx asked, but the door was already swinging shut behind him. She turned to Ladan with a raised eyebrow, wondering if the two had gotten into some sort of argument. Her brother ignored her, instead pointing to the oatmeal.
“Eat,” he said again.
“Thank you for having Edar show me our mother’s room.”
He nodded, coming to sit opposite her. “I thought you might like to see it. I assume you read the letter?”
“I did. Do you know who Terin was, or Hodin?”
“Hodin was my stepfather. I don’t know who Terin was. I remember hearing mother say his name occasionally, but I never met him.”
“What about Rein, the person she was writing to?”
“He was from where we went after leaving you and Father.” Ladan frowned in concentration. “I don’t remember much about the place, just that it was isolated and peaceful. We were there less than a year before she brought me here.”
“So she knew your stepfather before she came here?”
“I believe so.” He scowled. “Eat.”
“What are you, my mother?” Alyx spooned up a mouthful of her oatmeal and dutifully swallowed.
“Brother,” he corrected. “Now, I’ve already spoken to Dashan. Two of my men will escort you through the disputed area to Tregaya. My scouts have a thorough understanding of the Shiven movements in the area, so they’ll be able to see you through safely. You do as they tell you.”
“Yes sir,” she mumbled around a mouthful of deliciously sweet oats.
He watched in silence as she finished the entire bowl and then collected her cloak and staff from the rack by the door.
“When will I see you again?” she asked him.
“Probably not for a while.”
She hesitated. “Ladan, is there anything else you’re not telling me? Anything at all? I can’t deal with any more lies.”
“I’ve told you what I remember about why we fled, I promise. As to anything else... ” He looked away. “They’re suspicions only, and it wouldn’t be fair to burden you with them, not unless I knew for certain.”
“Ladan...”
“If I confirm anything, I’ll find a way to tell you.”
“All right,” she said reluctantly. “Will you come to visiting day? I know it’s a lot to ask, and a long way to travel, but—”
“If I can I will,” he interrupted. “Promise.”
A smile crept unbidden over her face, and impulsively she leaned up to hug him. He stiffened slightly but didn’t push her away. “I’ll miss you,” she whispered in his ear.
“Take care of yourself,” he said, pulling back and reaching past her to open the heavy outer door.
“You too, big brother.”
“I will.
She paused on the threshold, trying to fight back tears. “Goodbye, Ladan.”
“See you, Aly-girl.”
He touched her shoulder briefly, and then she was walking out into the courtyard and he was closing the door behind her.
Alyx sat quietly, staring into the darkness. They were just outside the border of the disputed area, so there were four Bluecoats on sentry duty out in the night, but the rest slept a short distance away. An occasional snore broke the silence, but otherwise she heard nothing but the sound of her own thoughts.
It was a cold night, but she was warm enough huddled inside her cloak and a blanket. The occasional tear that dripped down her cheek felt like ice, though.
“Alyx?”
She shifted as Dashan’s voice whispered through the dark from where he slept near her; she thought he’d fallen asleep hours ago. In no mood to talk, she stayed quiet, hoping he would think she slept too.
“I can hear you thinking from over here.” No, he knew she was awake. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” she said quietly.
His blankets rustled as he shifted to face her. Though there was barely any light with the moon trapped behind thick clouds, she imagined she could see his eyes staring at her across the darkness.
“I had a dream, that’s all.” Alyx spoke quietly, not wanting anyone but Dashan to hear her.
“Another nightmare?”
“No.” Although she couldn’t decide whether it had been better or worse than one
of her nightmares.
He fell silent then, a few minutes later, when she hoped he’d gone back to sleep, he spoke again.
“I’m still awake. Just in case, you know, you felt like telling me about your dream.”
Alyx couldn’t help the small chuckle that came out at his words.
“I’m really curious now, you’ve got me hooked. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until you tell me.”
She reached up to wipe the tears from her face, debating internally on whether to speak or not. Eventually she gave a small sigh. “She took my memories of Ladan away.”
A moment’s silence, then, “What do you mean?”
“I was five when my mother left with Ladan, I should have some memories. She used her magic to take them from me.”
More silence as he mulled this over. “Your dream… they were memories?”
“I think so.”
“What was she like, your mother?”
“I…” Alyx thought about it, trying to recall. The block that had always been there still existed, but now it was like there were small holes in it. “I only have fragments. She had a stern voice, I think. And brown hair like mine.”
“And Ladan?”
“I adored him. He was so serious and smart, but he always took care of me. I don’t remember specifics, but I remember that.”
“He sounds like a great brother.”
Alyx felt the tears well again. “She took so much away from him. Now look what he’s become.”
“I think you could help him find that boy again.”
“How do I even begin?”
“You’re his sister,” he said softly. “You just need to be you, Alyx. That will work wonders, I promise.”
“Would you mind coming back this way?” She hesitated. “When we return to Alistriem from DarkSkull, I mean?”
“I think it would be safer to return to Rionn by ship, especially since there’ll be no need to rush.” Dashan’s blankets rustled again. “But I don’t see why we couldn’t divert to Widow Falls on the way back from the coast.”