by Lisa Cassidy
She just couldn’t let it overtake her. Not ever again.
Cayr waited for her at the palace, all charm and politeness as he offered his arm to help her down from her carriage. For the first time in their lives a painful awkwardness sat between them, and instead of going straight in, Cayr pulled her aside.
“Despite everything I said last night, if you really don’t want to do this, tell me now,” he murmured. The new seriousness she’d seen in him the night before was still there, edged with sadness.
“Neither of us really has a choice.” She offered him a genuine smile. He’d been right the night before, they were both trapped. Alyx by her combined mage and noble blood and Cayr by what she’d done with Dashan. “I realise how difficult this has to be for you too.”
He nodded in acknowledgement of that. “After eighteen years of friendship, I don’t want to let what happened ruin us. I’m angry and hurt, and I don’t think that will go away anytime soon.” He took a breath, eyes closing briefly. “But I also know—rationally—that you can’t help how you feel... or don’t feel.”
The misery in his voice had her reaching out for his hand. “I don’t want to lose you either. My feelings... you’re still one of the most important people in my life, and I will give you whatever space you need. Outside this whole charade, of course.”
His mouth quirked in an unexpected smile. “It will be just like the old days, you and me ruling the social scene of Rionn.”
Her smile stretched to match his and for that brief golden moment some of her misery was gone. “Those days were fun.”
They’d deliberately timed their arrival to be fashionably late, the sun warm on Alyx’s bare shoulders as Cayr escorted her through to the garden where he was hosting the afternoon tea. The chattering conversation slowly died as they appeared together, although all eyes fixed on Alyx. She hadn’t attended one of their social gatherings since before going back to DarkSkull.
“It’s a beautiful day for a picnic,” Cayr spoke easily into the silence. “I hope you all don’t mind me moving the event outside?”
“An excellent call, my friend.” Jaran was the first to speak. He’d grown out of his gangliness and was all courtly politeness as he smiled at Alyx before clapping Cayr’s arm. “Good to see you, Alyx. Cayr, will you come over and settle something for us? Torn insists he can swim the distance from the wharves to the city beach, but we’re in genuine fear for his life.”
Cayr chuckled. “I would be too. Alyx, I’ll be back soon.”
“Take your time,” she assured him.
Jenna Casovar sat at one of several small tables dotted around the grass, two young women with her. Both had been part of Alyx’s coterie once, but neither could look her in the eye as she strolled over to join them.
“Lady Egalion, how nice of you to deign to attend one of our little events.” Jenna’s voice oozed false sweetness. Alyx almost laughed—oh, this she could do. This was more familiar to her than breathing.
“Hello, Jenna. Lissa, Mira. I do owe all of you the most tremendous apology.” Alyx infused her voice with sincerity, taking a seat without being asked. “I’ve been so caught up with all this mage business and helping the lord-mage. I know I’ve neglected my friends terribly. Will you forgive me?”
A little silence, then Lissa spoke. “Your dress is stunning, Alyx. Where did you get it made?”
“At Fironu’s, down on Welter Street. Sorin designed it himself,” she said cheerfully. “But I wish I’d seen your dress first—the shade of lavender you’re wearing is divine. You must tell me where you got the fabric.”
“At Tessens, a block over.” Lissa beamed, then added shyly, “It’s nice to have you back.”
“It really is. Of course we forgive you. It wasn’t your fault the king made you go to that awful mage school,” Mira added.
Their quick forgiveness took her aback. She’d expected to have to work harder, but both young women’s eyes were warm and happy, and they’d leapt at the opportunity to welcome Alyx back.
“I...” she faltered, quickly summoning her cool façade at the calculating look on Jenna’s face. “I have a lot of making up to do.” A warm smile, more genuine than she’d intended. “Perhaps a trip to Fironu’s together soon, my treat?”
“We would love that,” Lissa gushed.
Mira shot a quick look at Jenna. “There’s a brunch we have planned tomorrow, but since we haven’t seen you in so long, perhaps we could cancel that and go shopping instead?”
Had she underestimated these girls in how completely she’d written them off as shallow and uncaring? Alyx bit her lip at the realisation that maybe she had. After all, they’d grown up together, and that obviously still meant something to them.
“I would really like that,” she said softly.
“Wonderful.” Mira reached out to squeeze her hand. “We want to hear all about you and Prince Cayr, too!”
“Not that we didn’t see that coming.” Lissa sighed mournfully.
Alyx settled her gaze on Jenna as a wide smile spread across her face. “Good, because I can’t wait to tell you all the details. I really have missed you girls.”
And just like that, she was back in.
Chapter 22
A few days later, Alyx used the excuse of another social event to escape the palace and ride out to visit Astor. Her godfather was nose-deep in writing a letter when she was shown in. He was so absorbed in his task it took him a few moments to realise she was there.
“Alyx!” He beamed at her. “Come in.”
“Hello, Astor.” She went over to sit by the open window where a cool breeze ruffled her hair. “You looked very involved in that letter.”
He waved a hand. “Just writing to an old friend. What brings you by?”
“I wanted to talk to you, if you have the time.”
He took off his glasses and sat back in his chair. “I’m sorry, I haven’t any help for you with your nightmares yet. It’s not for lack of trying though, and I promise you I’m not giving up.”
“That’s not why I’m here.” She paused, eyes scanning his face. “I know my father has been careful about... information, but I assume he or Sparky have spoken to you about their thinking in regard to Lord-Mage Casovar?”
“They have,” Astor said quietly. “They are both old friends.”
If she’d been holding one of his books, she’d have thrown it at him. “Damn it Astor, last time I was here you had me convinced Casovar was doing a fantastic job!”
He gave an impish smile. “You spend almost every day with a trained mage of the higher order who can read your thoughts whenever he wants. Really Aly-girl, I have asked you to stop treating me like a doddery old man.”
She made a face. “I’m guessing it was you that gave Cayr and Sparky tips on hiding their thoughts from him.”
He merely smiled.
She sighed, shaking her head. “Why did Casovar come to Rionn?”
“Why do you think? For the power and prestige of being Rionn’s lord-mage. That’s almost as good as having a seat on the council.”
That corresponded with what Cario had told her. “How did you hear about him?”
“What makes you think—”
Alyx raised a hand to cut him off. “If you don’t want me to treat you like a doddery old man, then don’t behave like one. How else would the king have come across Casovar? He has nothing to do with the council, nor does my father, for obvious reasons.”
“Young people think they’re so smart.” He huffed. “Fine, yes. I wanted to retire, and of course I still have contacts in the mage world. I assisted the king in finding a replacement.”
She raised her eyebrows at him. “And you picked the least likable one of the lot?”
“I didn’t much care how charming he was. I wanted someone with power.”
“Not just power. You picked a mage of the higher order. So you knew the threat from Shivasa was coming before anyone else here did?”
For a moment he
looked caught, as if he hadn’t expected her to work it out. Then he shrugged. “We all knew it was coming. The king has been worried about the increasing frequency of skirmishes in the disputed area for a long time.”
“And how much do you know about the council hunting Taliath potentials?”
The question took him completely off guard. It was the first time she’d seen genuine surprise on his face in years—Astor always presented a controlled front to the world. It wasn’t surprise at her words, though. It was surprise that she knew. Familiar frustration curled her hands into fists. Was everyone lying about everything?
“Your response tells me all I need to know,” she said sharply. “I don’t suppose you ever thought to mention it to my father or the king, all those years they were looking for potentials?”
“I had suspicions only.” He frowned. “What has gotten into you, Alyx?”
“Frankly, I’m sick of all the lying and the secret-keeping. You are one of a very small number of people in my life I trust, Astor, and I expect the complete truth from you. Understood?”
After a moment, he nodded. “All right. From now on nothing but honesty, although I’d appreciate a little less of that high and mighty tone of voice.”
Ignoring that, she ploughed ahead. “Have my father and Sparky told you the detail of their plans?”
“I have an inkling,” Astor said carefully. “But I am retired. I would prefer not to be involved.”
“Rubbish! You know far more than you’ll admit to and I don’t believe for a second you want to stay out of it,” she snapped. “And even if you did it doesn’t matter. Rionn needs you.”
“I have done plenty enough for Rionn.”
“It doesn’t matter what you have already done, it only matters what is necessary,” she said, the words coming out more harshly than she intended.
“I suppose that’s true,” he said mildly. “I take it from your tone just now that your part in your father’s plan was not chosen willingly.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she said tersely. “Now, if we succeed in what we’re doing, the king will need you again.”
“He has you.”
“I’m not fully trained. As soon as Casovar is out, I need to return to DarkSkull to complete my apprenticeship.”
“I think you may find that the queen of Rionn has no time to be a mage, let alone the lord-mage. One of your young friends will need to fill that post, I think.”
She waved a dismissive hand. “That’s a long time in the future. In the meantime, I need to know that we have your support.”
Astor stood, moving to his window. A speculative look crossed his face. “Be careful, Lady Egalion. You’re heading into dangerous waters.”
“You mean we are.”
“I suppose I do.” His gaze remained unfocussed, a long way away from her, and she wondered what he was thinking.
Alyx hadn’t seen Brynn since before the night of the ball—despite sending several messages asking to meet—so she was relieved to finally receive something from him the following day. As soon as she could, she responded to his offer of a time to meet at one of the more disreputable inns in the party district.
It was late, darkness having fallen hours earlier, and the inn was full to bursting. She’d been careful to use shielded bursts of telepathic magic on her way, and was confident she hadn’t been followed. It took her a good while to push through towards the back of the inn where Brynn stood by a door leading to a back hallway. When he spotted her, he opened the door and slipped inside.
Alyx followed him through a few moments later, and walking down the hall, found herself in a small storage space lit only by a single lantern. Boxes sat stacked against the walls around them, leaving only a narrow passage between.
“I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long,” he spoke as she closed the door. “I had to travel back to Tregaya to speak with the council, and it took me longer than… Alyx, is something wrong?”
“What do you mean?” she asked in surprise.
He moved closer to her. “You look terrible.”
She laughed. “Thanks, Brynn! I do not look terrible.”
“Yes you do. You’re pale, and there are shadows under your eyes,” he said, then, “Where’s Dashan?”
Her heart clenched at the mention of his name, and it took almost everything she had to keep her voice casual when she replied. “He’s out of the city on assignment. I’m tired because Casovar has been working me longer hours than usual, and I’m trying to juggle that with the number of social events that are now part of my life.” She shrugged. “What took you to Tregaya? I’ve been burning to know what happened when you followed that man who met Casovar and Dunnat.”
He opened his mouth as if to question her further, but shook his head at the fierce look she fixed on him. “The council have officially ordered me to investigate Casovar.”
“Really?” Surprise filled her voice. “Why? What about the man you followed from the inn that night?”
Brynn let out a breath. “He’s the reason I went straight to the council rather than come back here to report to you. I followed him a week north towards the disputed area. On the second night out of Rionn I managed to get right up to his campsite, where I watched him use magic to start a fire.”
Alyx’s eyebrows shot upwards, but Brynn held out a hand to forestall anything she might say. “In Gosper I followed him to an army camp. He was allowed in, and marched out—heading north—with a unit of the army the next day.”
“A mage with fire ability met with Casovar and Dunnat in Rionn before joining an army unit heading to the disputed area?” Alyx clarified.
“Yes. And when I spoke with Romas, he told me there are currently no active council mages who are male, Shiven and possess fire magic.”
“A Shiven mage is in communication with Casovar,” she murmured. The potential implications of that were astonishing. Had a Shiven mage been implanted in the Rionnan army? She should be surprised, but she wasn’t. The lord-mage was up to a lot more than being bad at managing Rionn’s army. “I wish you’d told me this before leaving.”
“I wanted to take my suspicions straight to the council in the hope they would do what they did, which is authorise me to conduct an official investigation.” Brynn was animated.
Alyx half-listened, still thinking over what he’d told her. After a moment she looked up. “I have something to tell you, but this is for your ears only. It does not go to the council. Am I clear?”
“I’m your friend before being their spy,” he said quietly.
She nodded. “My father and Lord-General Sparkish spoke to me just over a week ago, which is why I’ve been trying to reach you. They believe Casovar is mismanaging the Rionnan response to the Shiven incursions, to the degree they feel we could be invaded within two years.”
“What?” Brynn’s eyes widened.
“But what you’re telling me indicates there’s much more to it,” she said, thumping a hand against the nearest box in frustration. “We need to find out what he’s up to.”
“I know. I’m doing my best,” Brynn said. “What is your father doing about it?”
“He, Cayr and General Sparkish have come up with a plan to get Casovar out of Rionn,” she said carefully. “I am to marry Cayr. By marrying, we’ll form a power base that rivals Casovar’s influence, and my father has won the support of the other lords.”
Brynn looked confused. “What?”
She smiled. “I’m surprised you haven’t heard, the news is all over the city.”
“I don’t understand. You and Dashan—”
“Are over.” Alyx stood. “I can’t stay. Do you have anything else for me?”
“No,” he said, frowning. “Alyx—”
“Please let me know as soon as you do. I’ll be waiting for your message.” Alyx paused as she placed her hand on the door handle, debating with herself. The question had been eating at her ever since the ball, and she couldn’t bring herself to leave without aski
ng him. “Did you know?”
It was a vague question, but the silence in room turned thick, and Alyx had her answer. Eyes closing, she leaned forward to rest her head against the door. Not Brynn too. The taste of more betrayal was bitter in her mouth, feeding the anger and frustration that still burned inside.
“It was my job to find and track them,” he said eventually, all the life drained from his voice. “Yes, I knew what he was.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I don’t care.” She turned, surprised by the vehemence in his voice. “I don’t care that he’s a Taliath and you’re a mage of the higher order. It means nothing to me. It shouldn’t to you either.”
“How can it not?” She stared at him. “We can never be together, and you knew that. You should have told me. If you were truly my friend, you would have.”
“Alyx…”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” She turned the handle, pushing the door open.
“Alyx, wait!”
“What?”
“You can’t forget that Casovar is a mage of the higher order with telepathic magic. All this planning... he’s going to find out eventually. You have to be careful.”
“We are.” She walked out, slamming the door behind her and pushing her way through the crowded inn without looking back.
It had been well over a month since her last nightmare, but once again he slid into her mind without a deliberate attempt to cause her pain. Despite this, her terror was instinctive, borne of his total control and how helpless it made her. Not wanting to let on how afraid she was, she remained silent, curling her mind into a tiny ball.
“There’s no need to be afraid.” He sounded amused—probably at her attempt to hide her fear from him. “We want the same things, you and I.”