by Lisa Cassidy
He’d taken Cario from her. Just like he’d promised.
Who would be next?
Chapter 38
Alyx sat curled in a large armchair in the corner of the room, the cloth of her tunic stiff with Cario’s drying blood. It was late, probably well past midnight. A strange kind of numbness had settled over her. Others were in the room, speaking in urgent tones ranging from angry to grieving.
Her focus didn’t return until the door slammed open, cutting off conversation. Cayr stood there. His face was tight and drawn, and fury vibrated from every part of him. Jenna hovered behind.
“Why was Alyx targeted?” he demanded, and it was with a king’s imperious voice that he spoke. “Why not myself or the emperor?”
“Maybe Shakar finding out Dashan is alive changed things?” Tarrick suggested. “Invulnerable, she could be a genuine threat.”
“She just used magic inside a Hunter medallion bubble,” Finn pointed out. “She half destroyed a room–that should be impossible. I’m not sure it’s invulnerability that makes her a threat.”
“Don’t you dare!” Dawn rounded furiously on her brother. “Don’t you dare be afraid of her.”
“I’m not,” he said firmly. “But I wasn’t the only one that saw what happened.”
“It wasn’t about Dashan,” Alyx said dully. “He knew one of you would jump in front of that arrow. He’s trying to make me like him.” And she’d made a critical mistake that led to Cario’s death—if only she’d ordered them to flee instead of locking down the room…She should have seen it coming, but she hadn’t and now Cario was gone. That knowledge twisted like a knife deep in her heart.
“What does that mean?” Ladan demanded.
She shook her head, unable to cope with the weight of their attention on her. It was all too much. “Nothing.”
“What is the status of the emperor?” Brynn asked, neatly changing the subject. She was stupidly grateful to him.
Cayr shook his head, as if readjusting his train of thought. “He’s as furious as I am, but he isn’t bringing forward his departure. He’ll meet with us as planned first thing in the morning.”
“And Astohar?”
“The same,” Ladan said. “We are fortunate.”
“Excuse me if I don’t see any of this as fortunate,” Finn said, before walking past them all and leaving the room. The door slammed behind him.
“I meant no offence,” Ladan said quietly.
“We know.” Dawn took her husband’s hand. “Finn is upset because he feels guilty. He’s a healer, yet he had to sit there and watch as Cario died in his arms.”
“Alyx, you would have died too if you hadn’t killed the shooter,” Tarrick said. His words trailed off, not asking the question that was in all their minds. How had she used her magic?
She shrugged. There had been no fear, only the desperate desire to destroy the person who had ended Cario’s life. That anger was still there, surging like it had after Dashan’s death, eating away at her like acid. It was a struggle to hold it in. Her voice was ugly and flat when she spoke. “I wanted him dead. Then it happened.”
Silence fell again as they processed that. Eventually, Dawn threw her a concerned look. “You need to clean up, Alyx, and get some rest.”
“We’ll hold the funeral the day after tomorrow, once the Zandians and Shiven have gone,” Cayr said solemnly, meeting Alyx’s eyes with his kind blue gaze. “I am so very sorry for the loss all of you are suffering.”
Dawn and Ladan had begged her to come home with them, but she just couldn’t. She trudged down to the mage offices and stripped off her bloodied clothing, leaving it in a pile on the floor. A wash in cold water followed and she scrubbed and scrubbed until Cario’s blood was gone and her skin was rubbed raw.
She paced for a while then, shivering, almost feverish as her emotions tripped from anger to fear to guilt. Grief was there too, a yawning chasm that threatened to swallow her hole. Her magic, never well controlled when she was emotional, told her Tarrick stood guard outside the door, a silent, protective presence.
By the time dawn arrived, there was only one person she wanted to see. Stepping through the door into the adjoining garden, she set off with quick strides. The golden light of morning was only just creeping across the floor as Alyx swung through the window into Cayr’s bedroom.
He was waiting by the window—as if he’d known she would come to him—looking both tired and sad. She doubted he’d slept either.
“How are you?” he asked as she settled into the window seat beside him. Blue eyes regarded her with concern.
“I should ask you that.” She nudged his shoulder. “You must be exhausted, and you’ve got your last meeting with Astohar and the Zandians soon.”
“Don’t do that,” he said gently. “Hide how much you’re hurting from me. I want you to tell me what you meant last night, when you said he’s trying to turn you into him.”
“Dashan’s death, my father’s, now Cario’s.” She shivered. “He tears a piece of me away each time, and he’s doing it deliberately. He wants me to hurt like he did when his Taliath died. He wants the anger and need for revenge to take me over, just like it did with him.”
“But it hasn’t.” Cayr’s hand touching hers made her jump.
“I’m afraid it will,” she admitted.
“It won’t,” he said firmly, forcing her to meet his gaze. “I know where Dashan is. I got a missive from him this morning.”
She stilled. “Cayr, I—”
“I hope you’ve worked out for yourself by now that you could never be another Shakar,” he said firmly. “There is not a single hint of doubt in my mind. Alyx, I’ve known you since I was six years old. You are no Shakar. You never will be. Believe it.”
Something in his words broke the numbness, and she managed only a few words. “I miss Cario already. He was my friend. And I’m so afraid of losing anybody else I love.” And then she broke down in his arms and cried. He wrapped his arms around her, rocking her gently.
“You’re hurting, and you’re exhausted and strung out.” He murmured, pulling back to gently wipe the tears from her face. “We both know what you need.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” She sniffed. “You’re pretty good at making me feel better.”
He smiled. “I need to get a message to Dashan quickly, it’s important. Sparky’s scouts think an attack is about to take place up north, close to where one of Dashan’s militia units has been operating. We could use their help to push it back. Will you take the message for me?”
“I can’t leave! What about the summit?”
“You can help by getting out of the city for a few days in case Shakar has a follow up attack planned—that makes us all safer,” he said firmly. “Nobody but you and I will know where you are, and if you fly, no other mage or Hunter can track or intercept you.”
She gave him a suspicious look. “That’s a remarkably well-thought out plan.”
Mischief flashed in his eyes. “I had the help of a Taliath.”
“When did you have the chance to–” Her gaze flicked over to the bed, where the covers were rumpled and the pillows very clearly showed the indents of two heads. She made a face at him. “Is she hiding outside the door?”
“She’s guarding outside the door.” Cayr’s sweet smile flashed at her, but it was quickly eclipsed by a frown. “It wasn’t just Jenna. Finn came to me late last night—he concurred that it would be a good idea for you to leave the city for a few days.”
“He’s worried about a follow up attack as well?”
“I don’t think that’s all it is, but you know Finn, his brain is constantly working. Something was bothering him, but I don’t think he was certain enough of it to tell me.” Cayr rose and crossed to a table to pick up a tightly wrapped scroll. “Get this to Dash for me. He’s encamped at DarkSkull. Once you’re well clear I’ll let Tarrick and Ladan know what’s going on.”
She hesitated only a single moment before taking two step
s to lean up and kiss him on the cheek before taking the scroll. “Love you, Cayr.”
“And you, Alyx.”
She was smiling as she stepped up onto the windowsill, turning back briefly to call out, “Bye Jenna!”
Before leaving the palace, Alyx made her way to a familiar area in the residential wing of the palace. The door to Cario’s room was closed, and she pushed it open slowly.
The interior was lit by the summer sun pouring through the windows, and nothing appeared to have been touched. A long maroon jacket lay neatly across the bed, and Cario’s finest boots, freshly polished, sat below it. He must have been planning to wear them to this morning’s session of the conference.
Grief clutched at her, and she gave it free reign as she looked over Cario’s possessions, most of them familiar to her. Eventually her gaze landed on his mage staff, leaning carefully against the wall. Alyx reached out to run her fingers over its smooth surface. Tears poured unchecked down her face, blurring her vision.
Cario had made his staff from lighter-coloured wood than most mages, and when she picked it up, it felt longer and heavier than her own. It tingled with the residue of his telekinetic magic; an ability he’d wielded with such skill no other mage alive could come close to matching it. But he’d never wanted to be a warrior mage. Instead he’d been hers—second, friend, loyal and clever and her rock.
The air whistled as she swung the staff a few times, adjusting to its weight and feel. Eventually she hooked it to the straps down her back. It was heavier than hers had been and she shrugged her shoulders, letting it shift to a more comfortable position. After a few moments it settled, feeling utterly right.
With one final look around, Alyx made for the door. She had one more stop to make and then she could leave.
“Goodbye, Cario. I miss you.”
Chapter 39
Apart from a little more rubble dotting the grass around the lake, DarkSkull seemed unchanged since the night they’d fled Shakar. The glow of the setting sun was at her back as she landed at the edge of the valley so as not to alarm the camp. The sentries on guard directed her to where Dashan stood in conversation with two militia soldiers by the steps of the main hall.
She paused to wait, but it only took a few seconds before he glanced over in her direction, as if sensing her presence. She sketched a wave and walked towards him. He said something to the two soldiers and they saluted before walking away.
“Alyx.” Worry flashed over his face, hand instinctively falling to his sword. “Has something happened? Are you all right?”
“There was an assassination attempt at the summit,” she said, voice breaking. “Cario jumped in front of an arrow meant for me. He died.”
Dashan was moving before she’d finished speaking, gathering her gently into his arms and holding her close. “Is everyone else okay?” he murmured in her ear.
She nodded against his chest, allowing the tears to leak out and soak his shirtfront. “Cayr sent me with a message for you. Sparky needs one of your units to help hold back an attack in northern Rionn.”
Dashan took the scroll from her and barked out an order to the nearest passing militia solider. Then he drew her back against him, holding her, giving her all the strength and support she needed. Her fingers curled in his shirt as she soaked it all in. It wasn’t long before Rodin appeared, saluting sharply.
“Sir?”
Dashan kept one arm around her as he passed the scroll over. “Get this message to Captain Hoer. We’ve still got one of his pigeons, don’t we?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Tell him he’s to help out in whatever way is needed. Once you’ve done that, ensure I’m not disturbed for the rest of the night. Someone bothers me short of a Shiven army invasion of the camp, and he’ll regret it. Am I clear?”
“Yes, sir.” The salute was even snappier this time, if that were possible, but Rodin didn’t run off without a quick smile for Alyx.
Dashan’s hand slid into hers then, and he led her past the hall and into what had once been her dormitory building. There were shadows in his eyes, his worry for her plain. Still, he didn’t say anything until he’d showed her into a still-intact room. A fire crackled merrily despite the warmth of the fading day, and it cast orange shadows over the makeshift bed along one wall and a pile of Dashan’s belongings in the opposite corner. Outside, the sun had finally set.
He took both her hands gently, eyes studying her. “Alyx, I know how much you must be hurting. I’ll do anything to help, you know that.”
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak in case she completely broke down. Dashan shifted closer. “Cario was a great man. And I know the friendship you shared was precious to you. I’m so sorry.”
She swallowed. “Is it all right if I stay a day or two? Cayr and Finn both think I’ll be safer out of the city in case Shakar tries again.”
A smile crept over his face. “I think we can arrange a spot for you. How do you feel about your old room?”
She shook her head, trying and failing not to sway on her feet. “This one is fine.”
“You look exhausted.” The concern had returned to his face. “Take my bed and get some sleep. I’ll keep watch.”
She let him take her cloak and tug off her boots, then wrap a blanket over her as she curled up on the bed. It smelled like him and she burrowed into it, closing her eyes and using his closeness as a talisman against her grief. And then she slept.
Her eyes blinked awake. Dashan sat against the wall opposite her, dozing. The fire had burned down but it was still deep night. She’d been dreaming, for once not a nightmare but a memory from childhood. The smile was still on her face.
“Do you remember that Winter’s Eve when you dragged Cayr and me out for snowball fights down in the city?” She sat up, stretching.
He blinked sleepily, roused by her voice. “Mmm. That was a good night.”
“You made our childhood better than it would have been, shut up in the palace with only the other noble children for company.”
“And you both gave my childhood happiness, where otherwise it would have been pain and misery.” His eyes were dark.
“I’m never going to be like Shakar,” she whispered. “Not even if he kills more people I love. Cario had faith in me. Papa had faith in me, and I won’t ever let them down.”
Dashan stood at her words, coming over to sit by her and wrap an arm around her shoulders. “That’s not news to me, mage-girl.”
She smiled, then she leaned in to kiss him.
He responded immediately, his arm pulling her more tightly against him. She tangled her hands in his hair and deepened the kiss. Every nerve ending in her body responded to his touch, and despite her aching grief, for a moment she’d never been happier.
“I’m not sure it’s such a good idea for you to stay here,” he mumbled, dropping kisses down her neck before returning to her mouth. For a moment she didn’t respond, too caught up in the feeling of his mouth against hers.
“Dash?”
“Mmm?” He kissed her again.
She smiled into the kiss, pulling back just a fraction so she could meet his steady gaze. “If you still want me, want us, then I’m not afraid. I can absorb your invulnerability and I won’t become a monster. I trust myself, and I love you. I never stopped loving you, not for a single moment.”
“You’re asking if I still want us?” He laughed softly. “Alyx, I’ve never wanted anyone else.”
“Okay then,” she murmured, then she kissed him.
As his arms came around her again, she reached between them to work on the buttons of his shirt so she could push it back off his shoulders and reach the smooth skin of his chest and stomach. Her mouth left his and began tracing kisses along his neck and jaw. His hands came up to lift her shirt over her head and then for the first time they were pressed together, skin to skin, no more barriers.
Abruptly she was overwhelmed—she’d never done this before, never felt so alive and so out of control a
t the same time.
“Trust me, Alyx,” he murmured in her ear. “I’ll take care of you.”
And so she did. She gave herself up to his love and forgot about everything but the taste and touch and feel of Dashan Caverlock.
Alyx woke to sunshine warming her bare skin and shining into her eyes. She shifted slightly, trying to avoid the light, waking enough in the process to realise where she was. Dashan’s large, naked body was pressed up against her back, one muscled arm tightly around her waist, his legs tangled with hers. He snored softly in her ear.
Suddenly shy, she buried her face into the blanket lying haphazardly over them, out of the sunlight. A few moments later, the hand that had been wrapped around her waist began moving over the skin of her stomach towards her breasts.
“What are you doing?” she mumbled.
Dashan chuckled and turned her around in his arms so that they were facing each other. His grin stretched from ear to ear. “What do you think I’m doing?”
She buried her face in his chest. “I don’t think I can look at you.”
“Why?” He sounded amused.
“You might be laughing at me, or you might be looking disappointed.”
His free hand tucked itself under her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. “Why would I be doing either of those things?”
“Well, I’ve never—you know—and you’ve, quite often…”
“Alyx.” He stopped her mumbling with a finger to her lips. “Do you see either of those things in my face right now?”
She allowed herself to look at him properly, seeing only warm contentment in his expressive brown eyes. Everything in her relaxed, melting into a warm puddle of goo. There was still grief and loss, and fear over what came next, but for now it was hidden behind happiness. “No.”
“The more important question is how you feel?” He captured her face when she flushed and tried to look away. “You know you can be honest with me about everything.”
“Well…” Alyx tried to find words for everything she was feeling, and eventually settled for, “You’re really quite good.”