Of course it was Bran who stood in his way. Stubborn, beautiful Bran, who looked like he’d do anything to keep Chris from leaving. “Bye,” Chris said, stepping around him. They’d talk later, when he didn’t feel so vulnerable with Samuel so very close.
But Bran grabbed the front of his jacket, making him unable to move. Chris could have pushed him away, but he didn’t want to do that to Bran.
“I challenge you to a game of truth or dare. Please.”
Chris had no idea why Bran thought the game would be a good idea right then, or why he thought he had to add a “please” to it like he had to beg Chris for something so ridiculous.
“I don’t drink anymore, so anything besides alcohol and I’m in.” Bran’s expression instantly lit up. “But! You have to get everyone else to play with us. If you can’t, then I walk and I’ll text you sometime.”
Bran hesitated. “That’s not exactly fair.”
Chris couldn’t help laughing at him. “And ganging up on me last time I was in your living room was? That’s my deal.”
He looked determined, though, even as he tried to touch Chris on his shoulder, and Chris moved out of his reach before Bran could put his hand down.
“I can’t touch you either?” Bran began to snap at him.
“Not when the last time you did you took to smacking me. Look, Bran, we’re friends. We’re always going to be friends. Right now things just suck between us, and I can’t do this with you all the time. Truth or dare is safe. I’ll stay and play that, but if you can’t get them involved, I’m going to go and I’ll see you later. I’ll be here for at least a month, so we do have time.” Chris didn’t want to hurt Bran, especially when his friend looked so concerned, but he wasn’t up to just sitting around and making small talk either.
He felt broken open, and everything hurt, especially when he glanced back at Samuel and found the quiet man watching him. “What’s your plan?” he asked Bran, though he was still staring at Samuel.
“Guys?” Bran raised his voice in order to call to them all. “Please?”
Chris turned away from Samuel to look back at Bran. “Don’t beg. Not for this. It was a stupid idea anyway, thinking that they’d want to play our games.” He started walking again and even lifted up his helmet to put it back on, but Bran grabbed him from behind, wrapping his arms around Chris’s chest and stomach.
“Don’t you dare walk out that door. Not again. Not like this,” Bran quietly said. “I’m so fucking sick of you walking away from me lately.”
The easy answer to that was that Bran needed to stop pissing him off. But that wasn’t really fair. Sure, Bran had hurt him, and Chris had been so very angry with him, but having him close again made that seem like a stupid argument that he really should be letting go of. It wasn’t going to be that simple, he knew that, but he and Bran had been friends for far too long for Chris to quit him so easily.
He took his free hand that wasn’t holding his helmet and put it over Bran’s on his stomach. “So you’re letting me back into your country, then?” Chris quietly joked.
“Ha-ha.”
Chris turned around in his arms and caught sight of everyone sitting at the dining room table as if they were waiting for them, before he hugged Bran tightly and buried his forehead against Bran’s neck.
“I’m not giving you up as my friend, but this isn’t going to be easy either. I’m mad at you.”
“I’m mad at you too. I can’t believe you were cutting again. I got so scared.”
Chris nodded and pulled away. “I know. I’m not right now, though.”
“For good?” Bran asked hopefully.
Chris wished he could give Bran the answer he so clearly wanted, but that would have been a lie, so he shook his head. “No. But I do plan to stop.”
“That’s better than nothing,” Bran said optimistically.
Chris only shrugged. Better than nothing was too vague for him to really add any sort of comment. It could have meant he hadn’t cut within the last five minutes, for crying out loud.
They headed over to the table, where Bran sat next to Kaden. Trent was on Bran’s left, followed by Samuel, which left Chris sitting right between Samuel on his right and Kaden on his left. Bran could have been nice and sat between Kaden and Samuel, letting Chris sit next to Trent, but by the soft, nearly hesitant smile Bran gave him, Chris knew this latest bit of torture was intentional.
“Ready?” Bran asked them all, sounding anxious. Chris wished Kaden wasn’t between them so he could have rubbed Bran’s back or something to calm him down.
“Again, this was stupid. I’m going,” Chris said, starting to get up.
Kaden put a hand on his thigh to stop him. “Chris, please stay. Let’s play, okay?”
He looked to Samuel, but Samuel wasn’t paying any attention to him that Chris could tell, so he took his seat again with a nod. “Normal rules apply. Take a drink each time you answer or do a dare, any question goes, can trade out one sexual dare for two smaller ones. Nothing is off limits.” He didn’t know what was in the pitcher Bran stood to bring out of the kitchen, but he really wished he was drinking again. He wouldn’t have ridden the bike after, though, and there was nowhere nearby he would have wanted to relax for a while. “Kaden, you pour. Samuel, you ask the first question.” He couldn’t stay silent for long, not if he intended to play by Chris’s rules.
“Trent, do you want Misha to come see you?”
Samuel started with a very innocent question, and Chris hoped this wasn’t how the rest of the game was going to play off.
Trent predictably went beet red. “After the gift he just sent me, hell yes!” Trent downed his shot and smiled from ear to ear.
Chris smiled, glad he did. He took out his phone and sent a quick text to Misha saying, He loved the gift. Visit him.
Trent cleared his throat dramatically. “Damn, it’s so hard to ask you all some questions, because it feels like a damn minefield.” He appeared to think for a few seconds. “Okay, Bran. Seeing as Kaden likes sex in public places, where was the last more visible spot you two got nasty?”
Bran didn’t even blush as he grinned over at Trent. “Dressing room at the mall. Kaden was trying on some boot-cut jeans, and I couldn’t resist. His ass in those jeans was just wow.” He took his shot.
“Chris. I missed you so damn much, wanted to say that first. Where are you staying?” Bran asked him.
“I rented a house in Thames. Right off the water,” he replied easily before downing half the glass of water Bran had given him when he’d passed out the shot glasses for everyone else. “Samuel, gonna throw the necklace in the trash or keep it?”
“I’m not a child and I appreciate any gift I receive.” Samuel didn’t take the bait and calmly drank his shot. “Chris, how about the present I gave you?”
Chris had to stand up for that, which drew everyone’s attention to him. He silently unzipped his jacket, hung it over the back of the chair, then dragged his thumb slowly up his stomach, lifting the thin shirt he wore to reveal his navel and the small silver ring in it.
“This present you mean?”
Intense satisfaction filled Chris when Samuel’s eyes locked onto his stomach and filled with heat. When he dropped the fabric, Samuel’s gaze shot up to his.
“Yes, that gift.”
The big man looked away, and Chris sat back down with a smug smile.
“Bran, planning a wedding anytime soon, or did that invitation get lost in the mail when you kicked me out of your country?” Chris teased him, but it was Kaden who went red.
“Maybe…. We’ve talked about it.” Bran took his shot. “Samuel, glad Chris is back or more wanting to strangle him?”
Samuel frowned at him. “Really? I’m glad he’s back despite wanting to strangle him.”
Chris laughed. That was exactly how he felt about Samuel in that moment. Samuel drank his alcohol and coughed a bit.
“Bran, do you regret moving to New Zealand?”
Chris kn
ew what he was doing, and it didn’t bother him at all. Instead it made him realize that Samuel might still want something, despite the tantrum Samuel had thrown back in Manhattan.
“It was hard at first. I mean, Chris wasn’t here, and talking to him was different because of the time zones, and for a while there we were waking each other up in the middle of the night. And if I hadn’t been here, he wouldn’t have started cutting, but I got Kaden because I decided to make my life here, and I’m glad I did that. Chris—”
“I didn’t start cutting again because you weren’t there to take care of me,” Chris interrupted him before he could ask his question.
Bran turned and glared at him from around Kaden’s big body. “Sure seemed like it.”
Chris rolled his eyes. “You aren’t responsible for what I do. You can’t take responsibility for the people I’ve screwed or the marriages I’ve ruined, so don’t think it’s your fault every single time I cut. Ask your damn question.”
“I was going to ask you if you’d missed Samuel, but now I want to know if you’ve cut since the last time you were here,” Bran grumbled.
For once Chris didn’t feel bad for the answer he was about to give him. “No.” He drank his water and got up to get some more. “Samuel, think my piercing looks sexy?” he goaded him.
Samuel didn’t react much, which kind of pissed him off.
“Is that my question?”
“I did ask it,” Chris retorted as he sat back down, trying not to give away his anger or his desire to have Samuel tell him how good the little ring looked on him.
“Yes, it does. I have good taste.” Samuel grinned as he drank his next drink. “What did you tell Misha about me after I left? He sure left a lovely message on my phone.”
Chris snorted. “I’m sure he did. Because he loves me and doesn’t like people being mean to his little brother. Even if we don’t share a mom. Thank God. I said you were a jerk, had a hissy fit because I wouldn’t agree to move my life to New Zealand when we hadn’t even really started a relationship, and that you got me a belly ring. Not sure which part of that bothered him most.” He shrugged. Nothing in that was anything but the truth, though he was teasing Samuel a bit. It was simply too much fun not to as he watched that little tick start up in Samuel’s jaw as he started getting annoyed at him.
He drank his water and decided to pick on someone else for a while. “Kaden. Hmm. What to ask you. Oh, I know. If Bran had said come move to Manhattan, when there was no real expectation of anything more than friends who made out sometimes between you, would you have?”
Kaden looked at Bran, who shrugged his shoulders in return. “Probably not, but it’s not the sexual acts between us that would’ve done it for me either. It was about the depth of connection between us. On the other hand, our situation was different, because Bran’s job was pretty mobile and mine wasn’t.”
They were pretty fucking adorable together, Chris decided, as he gave Bran a wink and got a grin in return. He took out his phone and texted Bran, Romantic sap.
Bran took out his phone as it beeped and texted him back. If Samuel and you had started a relationship, would you be moving here?
“Cheater, you can’t ask a truth or dare question in text during a game,” Chris said, calling him out on his tactics.
Kaden gave Bran a quick kiss before turning to Chris. “What would it take for you to come live in New Zealand?”
That answer was easy, but it freaked him out that he and Bran seemed to communicate telepathically now. It must have been a couples thing. “If Samuel and I were actually in a relationship and not friends with gray areas, then I would. That’s not the case, though, and after his tantrum when I explained that, I don’t think that’s actually going to happen.”
Samuel put his hand on the table and turned to Chris. “May I point out that every time we have an opportunity to work on those gray areas, you run away? Also, you were the one putting the brakes on having sex in Manhattan. So if it was up to me, we would have a proper sexual relationship if you stopped running.”
“No, you may not,” Chris snarked at him. “Also, not your turn. And I’m not running. I’m protecting you. Dumbass.”
“I am big, fat, and ugly enough to protect myself, thank you. That position is filled,” Samuel growled back.
Chris dipped his fingers in his water and flicked some drops at Samuel. “Say something mean about yourself ever again, and I’ll bite you. Your boyfriend position is filled? By whom? Daniel?”
Samuel snorted. “All you do is deliver empty promises. I don’t have a boyfriend. I fill the position of looking after me. And Daniel is as straight as a ruler.”
Chris felt stupid for not understanding, but his opinion on the subject remained the same. “Until I know that you won’t ever come home to a dead body instead of a boyfriend, even though I’ve never once been suicidal, I’m not dating you, which means I’m not moving down here permanently, and I’m not having sex with you because you don’t fuck guys you aren’t dating. Care about you too fucking much to hurt you like that. So fuck you.”
“Well, there you go. We can’t work on this relationship and gray areas, as you call them, or trust and emotional well-being, if you’re sitting on the other side of the world. People have to actually spend time together to develop something deep like what Kaden and Bran have.”
He might have been right, but then again he might have been completely nuts too. “You’re so fucking stubborn. And we got off track. It was actually my turn to ask a question.”
“You and Bran designed stubborn, so go look in the mirror at what it looks like. Ask your bloody question.” Samuel shook his head as he spoke.
“I did look in a mirror before coming here, actually, and I looked damn sexy. Completely fuckable too, thank you very much,” Chris snapped at him before turning to Bran and ignoring Samuel completely. “Which one of them would you kill first in a zombie apocalypse, if they all turned at once?”
Bran laughed. “Probably you at this point, asshole.”
“Bitch,” Chris said, grinning back at him. This felt good, being able to play with his best friend again.
Bran’s eyes got wide, and he leaned around Kaden on the table. “After we’re done playing, I’ve got to tell you about when Samuel called me a bitch and actually meant it. If I had any chance in hell of causing him some real damage, I would have punched him.”
The idea of Bran, who probably weighed a good seventy-five pounds of muscle less than Samuel, actually trying to hurt him had Chris snickering. “Ask your question.”
Bran’s expression went from playful to serious in a heartbeat. “Ever afraid Samuel would be abusive to you? Like Richard was to me?”
Chris instantly shook his head. “No way in hell. He wants to strangle me most days, I’m sure, but he’d never put his hands on me in anger.” Taking a chance, he touched Samuel’s knee with the tips of his fingers, though he didn’t turn his attention from Bran. He thought of a question, though, and turned to look back at Samuel. “Was your hissy fit running back here really worth it? Right now we could be having hot chocolate on my couch watching bad movies if you hadn’t overreacted like such a child.”
“Listen, princess, I’m too old for this childish shit. You’re out to bait me and still think it’s a fucking joke playing with my heart. Fuck you too, asshole. Bran, Kaden, Trent. Adios. See ya later.” He grabbed his wallet and keys on the foyer table and slammed out of the house, looking angrier than he had been in Manhattan. The doors in New Zealand must’ve been made of tougher stuff, because it only made a dull thud as it shut.
Chris slid back from the table and went to wrap his arms around Bran from behind. “See you soon. He’s so pretty when he’s angry.”
“You did that on purpose?” Bran asked him, sounding shocked.
Laughing as he put his jacket back on and picked up the helmet, Chris gave him a nod. “Of course. I wanted to get him alone so we could talk. You and I should have lunch. We’ve still got l
oads of shit to work through. Text me.”
As he turned away, Kaden stopped him. “Chris, I would recommend you give him time to cool off. He can be pretty dangerous if he’s that mad. I’ve only seen it once or twice, and it’s not pretty.”
“If he’s dangerous when I make him mad, then I don’t want to be with him anyway, because there are going to be plenty of days where I piss him off. Thanks for the warning, though. If I call Bran up from whatever hospital you have around here, you’ll know I made a mistake. Until then, I’m going to see him. Toodles, kids.” He headed out and rode the bike the short distance down to Samuel’s house.
The front door was slightly open, as if Samuel had been in too much of a hurry to close it. That suited Chris just fine, though, since it meant he didn’t have to figure out a way to break into Samuel’s house.
He turned off the bike and walked into the house as silently as he could possibly manage wearing full body armor and boots. He still made a ridiculous amount of noise, especially if he wanted to surprise Samuel with him being there, so he stripped off his jacket and left it and the helmet on the dining room table, then sat on the edge of the couch to take off his boots. He didn’t like walking around in socks, so he pulled those off too and stuffed them in his boots.
Barefoot, he was much quieter and was even able to sneak into the large room at the back of the house, where he heard random thumping. Not being into sports in general, Chris wouldn’t have been able to guess from the sounds that Samuel was beating the crap out of a giant punching bag. He had his back to Chris, which meant he could lean against the wall, stuff his hands in his pockets after making sure his phone was on silent, and watch Samuel all he wanted. All the sexy, bare-chested, already sweaty mess that he was. Chris licked his lips and had to adjust himself when Samuel brought up his knee to attack the bag some more. Poor bag, but damn, he was hot jumping around like that. Chris knew he had to make Samuel mad more often if this was the kind of performance he got afterward.
Dare to Hope Page 21