by L. T. Kelly
“How’s it going, darling?” Mountain asked quietly once she reached him.
She couldn’t hold back her sigh. “I don’t know why, but it’s getting harder to come here.”
“Why do you think that might be?” Worry lined his forehead. She knew he’d always been concerned that she’d eventually give up volunteering here and make that final break.
“I dunno.” She shrugged.
“Ah, come on, darling. Who you trying to kid?” He bent so his face lowered closer to hers.
“I met someone.”
“Shit, mate. Always a tough call.” He straightened up and shook his head.
She quickly waved her hands around. “No, no, no, I told him I only want to be friends with him.”
Mountain’s gruff laughter made the lads all stop for a split second. Even his joviality sounded like pure power. “Hate to tell you, but no fella is going to want to be just your friend.”
She shook her head, walking away from Mountain to get on with her work, testing and adjusting each soldier’s technique. She busied herself with reviewing rehabilitation programs based on the progress her patients had made that week. Preparing amputees for alien and uncomfortable prosthetics wasn’t only the thing people who stepped through the door had to deal with though. The anger, the resentment, the PTSD, the regret, and worst of all, the pure stench of sadness laced thick in the air around the men, many with the look of a lost boy in his eyes.
She finished filing her notes, waved goodbye to the lads and planted a chaste kiss on Mountain’s cheek before leaving the gym. She couldn’t leave without paying a visit to Rupy again. His stare was fixed on a spot on the wall as she hung back in the doorway. His new prosthetic was flung on the floor like a new pair of jeans you’d been all excited to wear before discovering they gave you a muffin top.
“Hey, how you doing?” she asked quietly, remaining in the doorway. He flinched as he turned to look at her, his hazel eyes brimming with the tears she knew he feared shedding.
“Rupy, it’s okay to cry, you know. You’ve been through so much shit.”
“I went home on leave at the weekend.”
“Did you have a good time?” She was afraid she already knew the answer but asked anyway.
He shook his head. “My fiancée called off our wedding, saying she wanted me to be able to walk from the church with her.”
Katie’s heart squeezed, making her chest ache and knocking her breathing out of rhythm. What a grade-A bitch.
“You’ll get there. It takes time. If you rush you could set yourself back months.” She stepped into the room and rested her hand on his broad shoulder. “Let me tell you something.” Her throat constricted as she watched his bottom lip wobble with the exertion of trying to swallow his crippling sadness. “I’ve got amazing intuition, and I know you’re not merely going to sit back and let this,” she waved a hand over his stump, “define who you are.”
“Thanks.”
“No, Rupy, thank you.”
She turned away from the room, unable to endure any more heartbreak. She brushed away hot tears as she left the rehab center. It wouldn’t be the first time, and she knew it wouldn’t be the last. Crying always gave way to anger, because she hated feeling so weak. She compartmentalized the destructive visions the center always gave her as she boarded the underground train that would take her to pick up her only reason for surviving her own misfortunes. Jessica.
She relished the feeling of warmth she always experienced on a Monday afternoons after three nights away from her gorgeous bunny. Katie’s heartbreaking day always spun around when that cute nose pressed up against the glass of her classroom door. She’d known when she started volunteering at the center, that Monday would be the only day she’d be able to cope. It was the only day when that smiling face and blue eyes would look up to Katie and rid her of the demons following an entire weekend of missing her.
Katie laughed with sheepish pride as the teacher coaxed her daughter away from the door for the purposes of actually opening it. Once it was ajar, it compared to releasing greyhounds from their traps on race night.
“Mommy, Mommy!”
“Hello, bunny.” She dropped to her haunches with her arms open wide, capturing Jessica’s embrace and holding her close, breathing in the strawberry shampoo from her long, blonde hair. She pulled her daughter back at the waist to take a look at her face. “How’s Granny?”
Jessica eyes scrunched up, and her lips pulled to one side.
“Come on. Tell me as we walk,” she said, glancing around the playground at the eclectic mixture of mothers and fathers, none of whom she desired to share her business with. On one hand, there were the super mom’s, who never had a hair out of place and had perfect hair and makeup. In stark contrast were the high-school dropouts, pushing strollers, who collected their football teams worth of kids that they mostly screamed at the entire way down the street. Then there were the kids being led along the corridor, looking through the window at all the other kids going home. She always imagined those kids’ mommies and daddies wearing power suits behind huge oak desks at the top of some skyscraper. The notion was silly, but it always popped into her head nonetheless.
Both amusing and sometimes heartbreaking were all the dads who picked up their children and doted on them. They never seemed interested in keeping up appearances or in anything else other than what their child had been doing during school.
She couldn't figure out if that was just a romantic idea she had about fathers or something else. Lee had died when Jessica had been just over a year old. Jessica had never been given the opportunity to experience being picked up by her dad.
Katie didn’t believe she fit in with that odd mixture of parents. She'd never shared a conversation with anyone there, and they didn’t seem bothered about it either.
“So, bunny, what’s up with Granny?” She glanced down at Jessica as they continued down the street toward home. Jessica sighed heavily and looked down at her shiny black school shoes.
“Ah, it’s nothing.”
Katie tugged at her daughter’s hand. “Come on. You know you can’t kid a kidder.”
“You know I’ll never forget all the stories you’ve told me about Daddy, don’t you?”
Katie bit her bottom lip. She made sure to remind Jessica of him often, but not too often, she didn’t want to over do it. “Yeah, why?”
“Every Saturday for the past few months Granny gets out her photo albums and shows me the same old photos and tells me the same old stories over and over again. It wasn’t too bad during winter, but it’s nice outside now. I just want to play.”
Katie sighed, looking skywards and fully imagined the suffering Jessica had been going through. She squeezed her daughter’s hand. “I’ll speak to her, bunny. I don’t want you to worry about it.”
Lee’s mother, Helen, had started having Jessica one weekend a month when she’d turned two. Helen had managed to squeeze two weekends out of Katie when Jessica had reached four. When Katie got the job at the hotel, Helen had insisted, to the point of bullying, that Katie needed time to herself to move on.
She’d managed to persuade Katie to let her have Jessica every weekend. The thing that made Katie laugh was that Helen would be mortified if Katie actually did, as she put it, move on.
“I won’t, Mommy. Thanks.”
“Remember, it’s the holidays coming up and we’ll have scrumptious weekends together. But I don’t want you to feel sad all week with Granny. I want you to have fun. Pizza for dinner?” Katie made her best attempt at raising her daughter from the depths of despair and back up to the smiley child she’d always been.
“Ooh, what flavor are we having?” Jessica’s head snapped back to flash her a toothy grin.
“Let’s make our own.”
“What did you do this weekend, Mommy? You look different.”
Katie laughed. “Never you mind, nosy parker. Race you.”
Jessica squealed as they got to their street and br
oke into a run. Katie slowed slightly when remembered the lingering glances filled with infatuation she’d received outside her door the previous night.
Chapter Six
“You lied.”
“Pardon me?”
“You heard me.” Evan leaned against the wall beside the door he’d just answered, a fluffy white towel slung low on his waist. His tanned skin shone from shower, and his usually floppy blond hair looked darker, wet and scraped back. Katie attempted not to take a sly glance over his irresistible body.
“It looks like you’re busy, so we’ll come back later.” Katie swallowed hard and turned on her heel to head back to the cleaning cart. He grabbed her arm before she could move away.
“You said you’d be back at work yesterday. You weren’t here. You lied.” He softened his features, and his lip twitched in the corner. She cringed when she realized the burning she felt in her cheeks had most likely caused his amusement. She hated being embarrassed. It was a sign of weakness, and she didn’t do weakness.
“Didn’t say which job though, did I?” she said in a singsong voice, finding the strength to center herself and battle covering up the effect of his half-naked body on her.
His eyes flicked toward Mel. Katie smirked when she noticed Mel pretending not to listen to their conversation by rearranging things on the cart.
“Hey, Mel, what do you think? Do you think Katie should come out for a drink with me after work?”
“Oh, you talking to me?” she asked, trying to feign innocence but failing.
“Yep.” He nodded, letting go of Katie’s arm and folding his arms across his bare chest. She prayed the towel would fall down so he might get a dose of embarrassment.
“Aren’t you recording a new song today?” Mel’s brows squished together.
“Shit, yeah, we are.” His mouth downturned along with his head as he looked down to his feet.
Katie flashed him a triumphant smile. “Well, that solves that then.” Feeling happy that she’d successfully managed to dodge the invitation, she pushed the cart down the corridor.
He wasn’t dissuaded and followed her to the next room. “How about you come and watch us?”
She pulled her lips into a straight line and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Well, I—”
“Aw, come on. You like our music, don’t you?”
She tried to dream up an excuse, but what harm could it do? It seemed like a friend thing to do. “Okay, well, if you stop chatting and let us get on with our work, maybe, I’ll have time.”
“Oh, right, cool. I’ll drop you the address of the studio before we leave, okay?” His voice jumped around as he spoke.
Katie rolled her eyes. “Okay, I’ll be along here somewhere.”
She and Mel carried on to the next task as he ducked back inside his room.
“He’s a bit keen, isn’t he?” Mel said in a low voice as she wiped the sink and rearranged the toiletry basket in the next suite.
“Looks that way.”
“You’re not exactly backing off either.”
Katie stopped scrubbing the bottom of the tub and turned up to face Mel. “We’ve done as you suggested. We’re friends.”
“Yeah, course, you are. I’ve been swanning around for years with friends who look like that.” She snorted.
“Don’t start, Mel. Small steps, remember?” Only Katie knew it wasn’t a small step, not for her, but more of a gigantic one. It still tugged at her chest and warmed her stomach whenever she looked at him.
Mel dropped the line of conversation after that. They got on with their work making small talk about the gig, the weather, anything except for Evan, Alex and what happened after Katie had left on Sunday night. Mel hadn’t brought it up in the locker room, and Katie would be damned if she wanted to pry. Although, she couldn’t help but notice that Mel’s lips were downturned when Evan showed up, catching them between rooms to give her the address of the studio they were working at. There'd been a distinct lack of Alex.
“Hey, you okay?” Katie asked sincerely, grabbing her bag from her locker that afternoon. She’d have an hour at the studio maximum before she’d have to slip away to collect Jessica from school.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Mel’s voice was clipped, and she avoided eye contact as she spoke.
Katie was desperate to know what had happened with Alex. More, so she could give him a piece of her mind, if need be. Mel always pretended to be hard faced, a real tough cookie, but she had the gooiest center Katie had ever known. If Alex had hurt her, Katie would be gunning for him.
“Do you want me to collect Jess for you?” Mel asked, brighter this time.
“No, thanks, mate. She’s expecting me. I don’t want to let her down.”
“Okay, if you ever want me to though, I can.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Katie hooked her arm around Mel’s neck and squeezed her. “If there’s anything you want to talk about, I can skip the studio and we can go for a coffee.”
Mel shook her head, a smile curling up on the corner of her lip. “No, you said you’d go.”
Katie giggled. “Evan is my friend, but you’ve been my friend for longer. If you want to talk, then we’ll have a chat.”
“No, honestly, I’m fine. You go and have fun, but we’ll have that coffee tomorrow, okay?”
“Yeah, that’s no problem.”
They made their way onto the street. Mel appeared to be in a better mood than she had all day, making Katie feel less bad about going to watch the band do their stuff instead of getting to the bottom of what had happened between Mel and Alex.
* * * *
“You did what?” Alex bit out, a snarl forming on his mouth.
“I invited her along. What’s the big deal?”
“Chicks ruin bands. Like, hello, Fleetwood Mac, The Mamas and Papas, The Beatles, goddamned ABBA.”
Evan chuckled and shook his head. “You need to chill the fuck out, Alex. She’s coming to watch. She’s not getting involved. It’s exactly the same as inviting a pal to a jam session to show off, and you’ve done that plenty. Stop making this into something it isn’t.”
Alex threw his hands in the air. “Okay, okay, whatever you say. Two fucking words though, boy wonder, and I want you to remember them.”
Evan held his breath as he waited for Alex’s revelation.
“Yoko, fucking, Ono.”
Evan’s stomach contracted as he laughed. He looked at the other guys who were also clutching their sides, doing nothing to allow his fit of laughter to let up. He dragged in gulps of air and bent at his waist, holding his stomach while Alex’s narrowed eyes flitted from one of his band mates to the other.
“What’s so funny?” Katie’s voice distracted them from Alex’s insinuation that she could be the next Yoko Ono.
They all turned as she was ushered into the studio by the security guard who usually manned the front entrance.
“You boys expecting her?” the heavy-set guard enquired. They nodded, and he left.
“Well?” she asked, bemused, her hands on her tiny waist.
Evan gulped. She looked so small, as if you could break her with one false move. But her face portrayed strength. The twinkle in her eyes wasn’t something fragile. It was the sheen of steel glinting in the sun. By looking into those blue eyes, he knew something tragic had happened to her. He’d seen the same look in his own eyes. Since the moment he’d met her, he’d been determined to find out what had occurred and set about fixing it.
“Ah, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. We were having our daily comedy show from Alex.” Evan glanced across the room. Alex fiddled with his bass, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Take a seat. We’ve done our sound check and a few run-throughs. We’re ready to record now.” He flashed her a smile and gestured toward the comfy, black-leather couch. He walked back to Alex and elbowed him. “Hey, man, come on. Don’t sweat it. No woman, man or beast will break up this band.”
Alex raised an eyebrow
and smirked. “Beast?”
“Yeah, just in case you get a dog and start inviting it to the studio or something.” Evan winked.
“Fuck you, boy wonder,” Alex breathed, a hint of amusement lacing his voice.
Evan and Alex smirked at each other before moving to their places. Evan couldn’t help but glance at Katie before striking up the first chord of the song that had been inspired by her. He closed his eyes as the lyrics took him away, floating on the melodic strum of his guitar, mixed with the sound of the keyboard. The rhythmic clatter of the drums and, of course, his throaty voice added grit to the song. Alex joined him when they peaked at the chorus, their voices intertwined to reach the perfect crescendo.
Evan watched as Katie’s eyes flashed, her ebony curls framing her face and her dark pink lips pulling into a coy smile. He daren’t look at her anymore. It would be too much. He’d lose himself and fuck up the recording. Her presence alone made his skin tingle and his performance effortless, exactly as it had at the club the other night. Something about her made him want to be the best.
“Okay, that’s good, but I want you to go one more time. Let’s see if we can make it better than good,” Ray said, his nasal English accent sounding from behind the glass as Al breezed through the door.
“Better? You can’t get much bloody better.” Al rolled his eyes in the direction of the window. “I heard from outside, lads. That was a killer track.”
Evan grinned. He hadn’t expected Al to show up today, but a bubble of excitement popped in his stomach when the man appeared. His penultimate lineup of performance inspiration graced the studio with their presences.
“Hey, man. It’s great to see you. Thanks for stopping by.” Evan reached out and shook Al’s hand.
“Nice to be here, lad.”
The other guys and Katie offered their own greetings.
Ray pursed his lips and glared at Evan as he looked over Al’s shoulder to instruct him to go ahead with the retake.