Of course, women have a Sovereign archetype too: the Queen. She plays a similar role in the lives of women. But here we are looking at the masculine Sovereign archetype, the King.
When you read that your Sovereign is “head of your kingdom” you might think of something like the British monarch – an impressive ceremonial figure perhaps, but one without much power.
But the Sovereign archetype within you is certainly no mere figurehead; he is the part of you that leads you in all you do. He sets a vision, finds a purpose, and directs you towards it. He also establishes good relationships with the Kings and Queens around you, maintains order in your kingdom, and makes clear and fair decisions that benefit both you and all those for whom you’re responsible.
Or at least he should do. But really, ask yourself, do you truly feel in control of your life in all areas? Few men seem to have a sense of running their own lives from a truly Adult, Sovereign place. In archetypal work I often hear men say they “feel like a child” (or a teenager) inside. Certainly a younger part of them seems very active in how they present themselves to the world.
And as you look around the world today, you may think there are few true Sovereigns of either sex. Certainly the world appears to lack balanced, authoritative, compassionate and wise leadership. That deficiency of sovereign energy can be seen at every level of society from governments all the way through to families. In families it seems the powerful, potent and compassionate wisdom of a strong father or grandfather is rare today. What’s gone wrong with our society, then, that we have so few true Sovereigns, so few true Kings, in the world of the masculine?
In part I believe this lack of sovereignty has come about because there are so few rites of passage in our lives.
A rite of passage is an event recognized by a culture or a tribe as a transition from one stage of life to another. This includes male initiation rituals, which have a powerful impact on boys and young men because they speak to a deep, ancestral part of the male psyche.
These rituals mark a transition from boyhood to manhood, young Hero to mature Warrior, Warrior to Elder, and so on. They demonstrate beyond any doubt what’s expected of a boy by the men, the leaders, and the Elders in his society. They show him that he’s now a member of the tribe, a member of the kingdom. That is his privilege; in return his sacred duty is to obey the rules and assume his responsibilities.
Rites of passage also trigger a man’s emotional development as he moves from one stage of life to another. They help him grow up; in fact, they appear to be essential if he is to become a mature man in his society.
In the West we rarely find such rites of passage nowadays. Even so they persist as cultural echoes, as rituals and events which somehow look – or feel – like a rite of passage: getting your first driving licence, making love to someone else for the first time, joining the military, getting your first job, getting married, the birth of your first child, the death of grandparents, the death of your parents, and so on, and so on.
Yet important though such things may be, they are not really transformative events in the way that rites of passage are. True rites of passage have a powerful effect on men, causing something in the male psyche to “switch on”, to open up a whole new level of psychological development so the brain starts working in a new way.
Nowadays, emotional process work and shadow work may fulfil some of the functions of ancient rites of passage. These workshops offer men and women an opportunity to gain some healing and open up the developmental steps which were missing from their lives as they grew up.
I’ve seen people grow before my eyes as they experience the power of using their Sovereign archetype to plan and control their lives. I’ve seen them learn how to assert themselves by accessing their Warrior energy so they can bring order where there was previously chaos. I’ve seen them shed the grief they carry in their Lover over unmourned losses and step into their joy as a result. I’ve seen them overcome blocks and work through belief systems and behaviours that hold them back in life by accessing their Magician archetype and finding out what is really controlling their behaviour.
These workshops hold the possibility of transformation because they help people step into a new identity or a new way of living with a more mature, more evolved sense of self.
However, the absence of significant rites of passage in our society isn’t the whole story behind the weakness – even absence – of the King archetype in men in Western society.
Before we go on, consider the kind of qualities the Sovereign archetype embodies: integrity, authenticity, wisdom, discernment, justice, compassion, clarity, potency, power, vision, mission, strength, humility… How do such things grow in us?
Boys have to learn how to be men; beyond that, they have to learn how to be mature men, how to step into their kingship. And this seems to happen when they’re brought up surrounded by other men who’ve already made that transition: mature middle-aged men, fathers, mentors, wise Elders and grandfathers, and other male role models.
So if boys – and young men for that matter – have no fathers, Elders, or mentors who embody the energy of the mature King and who can demonstrate in every moment what it means to be a Sovereign, how are they ever to learn the meaning of sovereignty, leadership, self-control, and self-determination for themselves?
Sadly, most of them don’t, and society pays the price.
Young men carry a profound desire for connection with mature male energy. Just as boys crave closeness and connection with their fathers, so young men (and, to be honest, a great many men in their 30s and 40s too) crave the experience, the presence, the energy, and the wisdom of older men. They can’t articulate this – it’s a deeply felt craving for something their soul knows they need and never had.
One of the older men who staffed my workshops a few years ago – sadly he has since died – was, without doubt, a cantankerous old man who irritated many of his peers. But, mysteriously, on every workshop there were always young men clustered around him, seeking his advice and counselling or simply enjoying his presence.
Why? Because in some way he embodied the kind of wise Elder energy which these young men instinctively knew they needed.
Such fatherly, supportive energy provides the kind of intimate emotional connection with masculinity that leads boys and young men to a true understanding of what it means to be a mature man, a King. By example, a mature masculine man can show younger men how to be with a woman in the way women desire. In fact, being around men who embody the sacred masculine provides a young man with a firm foundation for every aspect of his own masculinity. To put it another way, that is why male mentoring is essential for every young man.
Yet our tragedy is that so few of our young men, who so desperately crave this support, this experience of being around men, this primal feeling of being among their own tribe, have men in their lives who are able to provide it.
Families may have no father present; and no matter how much she may try, a mother cannot instil the deeper meaning of masculinity into her boys. Or the father may be present, but know no more of such things than his sons, so the lack of embodied masculinity continues on from generation to generation.
Despite all of this, I’ve learned from my work with men who had no-one to show them the nature of sovereign energy as they grew up, that a young man’s own King archetype is always there as a potential energy waiting to be accessed. I’ve seen how sports coaches, teachers, mentors, in fact any older man who has a consistent and positive influence on a young man’s life, can provide a model of masculinity that a young man can internalize as a model of sovereign energy.
With this kind of male role model, a young man can learn how to develop his own leadership and kingly qualities. That’s because simply being around wise and balanced older men who can pass on all kinds of male wisdom, including a felt sense of what it means to be a man, satisfies an instinctual need in younger men. This is the need to be appreciated, to be blessed, to be accepted as good enough
, just the way they are.
It’s a need that exists from boyhood all the way through to middle age. Surely you, like all other men, have experienced a time in your life when you desired the caring attention, love and support of an older man who could appreciate and accept you just the way you are?
Sadly, by early adulthood many of us have given up the conscious or unconscious hope of finding a mentor, an ally, a good father figure, a man strong in his Sovereign who can guide us into our own sovereignty. And so instead of blossoming into mature Kings, rich in wisdom and joy, appreciated and loved by the younger members of society, and by the citizens of our Kingdoms, men continue to live small lives, failing to display much of their true potency and power.
These are the men who become older men, not Elders. Perhaps that’s why we have so many old people thrust into old folks’ homes in what so often looks like an attempt to simply get them out of the way. Old people like this seem to have become a nuisance, not a respected resource. Ironic, really, since almost all of us will reach this age of transition. Hope for yourself that you develop into a true Elder, for then you may be acknowledged as such and gain the respect of those younger than yourself.
Important though all of this is, I believe there’s another reason for the absence of true Kingship among men today: the emotional wound which blocks the development of sovereign energy in children, the wound of not being good enough. More of that in a moment.
If history tells us anything, it tells us that a society without good leaders, good Kings and Queens, and plenty of sovereign energy, is a society that will struggle to survive in the shorter or longer term.
Without the leadership of true Sovereigns, we are destined to experience lack of direction, lack of purpose, and lack of vision, for these are all the province of the King. This can lead to chaos, confusion, and ultimately the fall of the Kingdom.
Yet while all this may seem pessimistic and seems to paint a dark future for us, the wonderful news is that sovereign energy is latent within all of us. With the right support and training, and your own intention, you can step more and more fully into your own kingship and thereby transform your life.
The King In His Fullness
With that in mind let’s look at the qualities of the mature King, the King in his fullness.
Ruling Well & Holding His Subjects’ Projections
A King on whom the Sovereign’s crown does not sit comfortably is a King who’s not fully in his power.
Growing into that power is, at least in part, about being fully committed to your personal development and the healing of your emotional wounds. It’s also about stepping up to face challenges, taking on leadership, and dealing with adversity. You could call this “working on yourself”. True enough; the right kind of personal development work does produce maturity and, eventually, hard-won Kingship.
And, over the twenty-plus years I’ve been involved in the field of personal development, I’ve worked with a few young men who stood out as Princes. They have bags of sovereign energy in Shadow, so they don’t embody sovereignty yet, but you can sense the kingship latent within them. Why are they so different? Who knows? Chance, circumstance, good genes, their emotional needs met as children? All of this, and more, no doubt. Fortunately, no matter what our genes or our background, we can pull sovereign energy out of shadow.
A Sovereign needs to be confident in his right to rule. He needs to embody the knowledge that he is in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing. When he knows this, the people in his Kingdom will readily accept him as their Sovereign.
At the same time, the subjects look at their King and see in him their own repressed and denied qualities of sovereignty and kingship. This means a Sovereign must carry the projections of his people around leadership, sovereignty and kingship.
Unfortunately, while a King’s subjects may project their golden shadows around sovereignty, their own positive but unexpressed qualities of leadership, onto him they may also start projecting negative qualities onto him. In our society, shooting down those who stand out from the crowd and ridiculing those who seek to embody their own kingship seem to be popular pastimes for those who lurk in the shadows of their own power.
Kings need to be able to hold this energy as well, ruling with balance and stability, compassion and wisdom, even when the projections which come flying at them are critical, judgemental, and negative. It’s another aspect of the Sovereign’s strength that he can hold this, not be affected by it, and still work for the benefit of his kingdom.
Authority, Power and Potency
When I think of a mature King in his fullness, I think of authority. I think of a respected ruler of a particular realm or kingdom. I think of the men I’ve looked up to in life, the ones who have modelled the qualities of integrity and authenticity which I aspire to bring more fully into my own life.
Nowadays our kingdoms may look more like our families, our businesses, our areas of influence, and the organizations which we serve. Yet even though we may not have a literal kingdom over which we rule, each and every one of us is – or should be – a Sovereign in our own realms.
Authority comes in many forms. Your authority as a mature King is the authority which comes from knowing yourself to be powerful and potent, from knowing how to use that power, and knowing how to lead with justice and wisdom. A mature King is strong and worthy of the respect of his citizens, his subjects, the people in his kingdom.
Such power and potency represent the outward expression of mature masculinity: this is seen in a man who knows who he is, what he is, what he stands for, and how to put his masculine energy out into the world in the most constructive way. He has a vision, a plan to execute it, and he knows his purpose in life. He also knows he is good enough just as he is.
To reach this state, he will almost certainly have done a lot of repair work on his own emotional wounds. These emotional wounds, untended and ignored as they are in most people, soak up a massive amount of innate energy, which is then not available as an expression of self in the world.
Most people spend a lot of time and energy defending against feeling their grief, their anger, their rage, their shame and other trauma. But to the extent that you are repressing these emotional wounds, so you are reducing the amount of energy you have available to express your power and potency in the world. And that means you are lessening not only your power and potency but also your authority in your kingdom.
If you are allowing your rage or your weakness to show up in the world, you will also be reducing the level of respect which your people will feel for you. This means you are less likely to be willingly accepted as a true Sovereign King who has a right to rule.
Reading this, it’ll come as no surprise to you to learn that most respected and successful Kings have had to do a considerable amount of personal development work away from their Kingdoms to overcome emotional wounds in all of their archetypes. Only then can sovereign energy begin to come online in a clear and potent way.
Order and Stability
Being a Sovereign isn’t just about authority. It’s also about using that authority to maintain order and provide balance and stability. In a way the King is the individual who has the sign over his desk saying “The Buck Stops Here”.
If the kingdom isn’t functioning well, if the children aren’t flourishing, if the employees are rebelling, if the business isn’t prospering, whose responsibility is it, other than the King’s?
To provide balance and stability to the kingdom, the King himself must be emotionally balanced and stable. This means he must understand himself, his weaknesses and strengths, the areas where he needs support, and the areas where he is strong. This emotional balance and stability allow the King to remain calm when challenges and adversity arise. They allow him to maintain a cool head, to work out what needs to happen next, and to make clear decisions for the benefit of all.
Those qualities can be particularly important when you’re the King and you need to pro
tect your realm. Whether the kingdom under threat is your family, business, company, organization, or something else, you need to know how to protect your subjects and yourself. You need to have sufficient clarity of mind and strength of purpose to respond appropriately when hostile or invading forces impinge on the boundaries of your kingdom.
That might mean an aggressive defence with warrior energy of what is yours by right. It might mean holding a parley of Kings using the counsel of your Magician to negotiate a settlement. It might mean a tactical retreat – a Warrior tactic. It might mean surrender, perhaps under the influence of the Lover. Whatever the outcome, you as King can earn the trust of your people by knowing what to do. That way, they will respect your right to rule.
However, that right to rule also depends on your ability to rule justly, with discernment and wisdom, and with compassion where appropriate. History shows that tyrannical kings who rule without any kind of compassion eventually fall victim to opposing forces, while a just and wise King is usually celebrated by his people.
Equally, a weak or abdicating King who allows himself to be swayed by minority factions can only expect the support of his subjects for a short time.
Of course, a mature King, a wise King, doesn’t have to know all the options about how to defend the realm. He has three other archetypal energies to draw on. He has a Warrior on whom he can rely for strategy and tactics and, if needed, aggressive action against anyone who seeks to invade the kingdom or destroy it.
He also has a (hopefully) supportive Magician who can provide wise counsel, advice and information about possibilities. This allows the King to choose wisely between all the available options.
And he has a compassionate Lover who can remind him of the need to temper fierce action with loving energy. Throughout history this has been part of the Queen’s role – to influence the King so he tempers his decisions with greater humanity.
Warrior, Magician, Lover, King Page 14