by Jess Bentley
“No, you’re right on time. You’re always right on time.”
He dips his head, kissing my forehead before helping me to the dining room. I start to go to my usual place, but he directs me gently to the head of the table. Usually one of the men sits here. Not for any particular reason, just out of habit.
“Doesn’t look like you’re going to fit in any of the side chairs. Why don’t you sit here?” my dad says affectionately.
Who am I to argue? At this point, I just go with the flow. In every way, if there is a flow… I am going with it. Swollen ankles? Okay. Swollen anything else from neck to knees? Okay. Constant trips to the bathroom? You bet. Can’t sleep for more than an hour at a time? Okey-dokey.
I am easygoing, in the extreme.
It’s the only way to keep my sanity.
“Well, dig in, everybody!” I announce.
I don’t have to tell them twice. Everybody goes for it with gusto, ladling heaping servings onto their plates. Even Mona ends up with a generous helping of everything.
“This is delicious, Libby,” Will smiles.
Ever thoughtful, he has been beyond doting. He’s given me hundreds of foot rubs. Made several late-night trips to the grocery store for éclairs and olives, my guilty cravings.
“Thanks, Will.”
“Amazing,” Cass adds with his cheeks stuffed.
Cass has been busy planning for the future. He outfitted the nursery all by himself, painting the walls and hanging wallpaper. He even refinished the floors, scraping them by hand to keep the dust down.
As we eat, I keep my antenna up to sense changes in the room. We have never talked about it openly, but my father seems to have accepted whatever situation we three have. As in all things, there are some questions that don’t need to be asked.
He is not terrifically warm to them, but it is better. Once in a while I even see him crack a smile. Like, almost. Okay, maybe not like a whole smile. But something in the smile family.
“This is really wonderful,” Mona grins. “Thank you for inviting us!”
“Thank you for coming!” I answer automatically. “When are you guys moving?”
Carson reaches across the table for another slab of crusty white bread before answering.
“Two weeks,” he nods as he butters the bread. “We will be all moved in before you go into labor.”
“Do you think you can hold off for two more weeks?” Mona adds, alarmed. “I did just tell them to hurry up…”
“Don’t even worry about it. If they listened to directions, they would’ve been out a month ago. Two weeks should be fine. That’s what they’re telling me, anyway.”
“Okay, well, I’m just glad I’m going to be here! It’s going to be so much fun living next door to each other again!”
“I’m going to miss you in the neighborhood,” my dad adds.
Mona flinches back, surprised. That’s the most direct thing he has ever said to her. And it was nice. Go figure.
Dinner moves along at a slow pace. I eat small bites now, since there is not enough room in my body for eating and breathing at the same time anymore. But it is okay. I am enjoying myself anyway. I love having everyone around, all talking and smiling, laughing. This is good. I never got a chance to really appreciate family gatherings when I was little, but I appreciate it now. And I’m determined to appreciate it going forward.
Mona talks with her hands, sort of ostentatiously flashing that ring every chance she gets. I can’t blame her, I know, but it does kind of dig at my soul a little bit. She went the traditional route. One man, one engagement, one marriage, and birth control up until the time they feel like getting knocked up.
The boys and I picked a different route. No way to marry, a secret romance that is maybe not entirely secret, and babies out of wedlock.
We are just unconventional people, is all.
After dinner, I don’t have to do anything. Everybody jumps up to do the dishes, clear away plates, put away stuff. I already did my part, and everyone else is eager to help.
“I hope we can do this every Sunday,” Mona smiles as she hugs me goodbye late in the afternoon.
“I would really like that,” I agree.
“Okay, you call me if anything happens with the little guys, all right?”
“I will, I promise.”
My dad ties his scarf around his neck, smiling wistfully as he says goodbye. There is probably more that he wants to say, than there is time to say it. It will be all right.
“How’s the promotion?” he asks gruffly before he leaves.
“Oh! It’s good,” I shrug. “You know, I didn’t think I would like it, but I do. Management is fun. It’s like yelling without yelling. You know how it is.”
He cracks a smile, a real one. The one he saves just for me.
“Yeah, it’s nice to be in charge, right?”
“It’s the best,” I answer as he kisses me on the cheek, and heads out into the snowy night.
Will comes down to help me back up the stairs to the living room, and maneuvers me to the sofa. He picks my feet up in lays them on the foot rest. Cass comes over to join me and the three of us sit there, as the snow silently continues to fall outside.
“That was wonderful,” Will observes, smiling. “Kind of a Hallmark moment.”
“I was going to say Norman Rockwell,” Cass interrupts.
The babies tumble over each other in my belly, making strange shapes on the outside of my blouse. It seems surreal. There are people in there! People we made. People we are bound to love forever.
“Are you really up for doing this every Sunday?” Will asks.
I think about it for a minute. It’s work, but I can see it unfolding in front of me. Friends in the house. Babies, then toddlers. Then maybe more. All of it stretching out in front of us, just waiting for us there.
“Yes, absolutely. I can’t think of anything better.”
Excerpt of TWIN TEASE
Chelsea
Adjusting the brim of my hat to shield my eyes better, I nudge my shoulders against the cushions of the lounge chair, careful to leave my ankles a safe distance apart. I want a nice, even suntan. That means lying here like a scarecrow with careful distances between my thighs and my arms. I even remembered to raise my chin a little bit so that my neck is not ghostly white.
My best friend, Yoyo, doesn’t have this problem. She just lies on the lounge chair next to me with a certain casual pose, like she was dropped there from a hot air balloon or something. The cord of her earbuds trails across her shimmering bosom and I bet she isn’t even worried about a line from that. She just always has the best skin. Glimmering, evenly toned, a perfect shade of caramel.
I can get there, I think. If I set a timer for twenty minutes and remember to flip over onto my stomach as soon as the timer goes off, then repeat that ritual four times, I can get a pretty nice glow as well. I have my grandma to thank for that. She was one of those dark-skinned Italian ladies who passed on both her curly hair and her pasta recipes. Maybe one day I’ll get to pass on one or the other. At least the hair, I hope, though I’m blonde now.
It’s hot. Uncomfortably hot. I can feel little trails of sweat trickling between my boobs as the sun beats down on us. I just have to remember that this is all in the name of summer strapless dresses. It will all be worth it.
A slight breeze swirls over the patio, breathing coolness across my belly. With longing, I gaze out over the rippling surface of the swimming pool water. I’d love to just jump in there and cool off, but I still have a bunch of time left on the timer.
Yoyo turns her head when she hears the patio door open. I don’t even have to look at her to know that she is arching her back, flexing her toes. Probably smirking. Definitely watching my stepbrothers, Chance and Jack, as they circle the far end of the swimming pool.
“Mmmm-hmmm,” she sighs to herself, shifting on the cushions.
“Why don’t you just keep your eyeballs in your head?” I remark, mostly because
I think she can’t hear me.
“Why don’t you be a good friend and set me up with one of your big brothers?” she shoots back, casting a sidelong smirk in my direction.
I wince, embarrassed that she heard my snarky comment. But she is over it already, I can tell. Her toes open a little and I see the tendons behind her knees flex. Shit. This girl is totally transfixed.
I mean, I get it. Chance and Jack are ridiculously perfect specimens of manhood. Twenty-three and gorgeous, despite the fact that they live with their parents… Well, with their dad and my mom. We are one of those blended families, I guess. Blended like a bag of candy. Blended like a tropical drink.
My mom raised me by herself, assisted by the practically anonymous donations of my birth father, some rich dude who never troubled himself to turn back up again. That’s how we got this kick-ass house in Evanston with the inground pool and a nice new car every year. But please don’t feel bad for me. I never missed him. I never knew him, so how could I miss what I never knew?
Their dad met my mom at a real estate seminar in California wine country. Somewhere between the Chardonnay and the guest speakers painting convincing pictures of attainable real estate fortunes, they decided it would be cool to hitch our families together. Nobody asked me, and nobody asked my brand-new big brothers either.
But that was five years ago already. Mom and “Newdad” are actually happy together. Chance and Jack seem happy too. And I guess having them around made me a much more popular lady during high school. Suddenly everybody wanted to be my friend, especially if they could drop by and run into my brothers.
“I don’t even know how you can stand it,” Yoyo mutters, barely under her breath. “Under the same roof? How do you even control yourself? You must have nerves of steel!”
They are not looking at us, but I know they can see us. They might even be able to hear what Yoyo is saying about them. I bet they can. It looks like Jack is almost smirking. They sure do seem to show up without shirts on every time I have friends over.
“You get used to it,” I mutter back.
“Nerves of steel!” she says again, grinding her hips just a little.
Her voice is just barely in the audible range, and I see Jack shoot her a look, his steely gray eyes ricocheting off the mound of her bright pink bikini bottoms. I know it was meant to attract his attention, and it looks like it did the job.
But he twists around immediately, picking a foam football off the nearest table and chucking it toward his brother across the pool. Chance catches it in one hand, cupping it automatically to his chest. The sun and sweat glisten off his silky, chiseled torso as he flexes. He raises his other hand to push a disheveled lock of hair off his forehead.
Chance twists lithely to launch a side-armed return of the ball to Jack. Yoyo and I watch in silent concentration as they begin a vigorous game of catch across the expanse of the water.
I didn’t always feel this way, but I have to admit that this is hard to watch without… squirming. Those muscles that ripple under their skin, the strength in their hands as they throw and catch that stupid little ball… It all sends vibrations through me like someone snapping a rubber band over and over again against my belly button. I feel a kind of emptiness, a hunger deep in the pit of my gut.
“Come on, you can tell me,” Yoyo continues. “You think they’re hot, right? I mean, you’ve got eyes!”
“I don’t know. What does hot even mean?”
Yoyo rolls suddenly onto her side so she can stare right at me. Her eyes are wide with excitement and thirst.
“Hot is… shit, girl! Hot is HOT. Hot is those muscles. Hot is those squinty eyes. Hot is that lickable stubble. Hot is that—”
“Okay!” I interrupt. “Keep your voice down!”
She flares her nostrils and purses her lips at me. “Yeah, you know what hot is,” she purrs suggestively. “I bet you’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you? I bet your sweet spot is all nice and tingly, ain’t it?”
I roll my eyes, but my knees instinctively clamp together and I can kinda tell that she’s right. There’s definitely something going on in my nethers. It might be wrong, but looking at them lately just seems to activate something in me. Something I am finding it harder and harder to turn off.
“You know it’s not wrong,” she sighs.
“I need to flip over, Yoyo. Can you move your cell?”
“I mean you’re not even really related. Not by blood or anything.”
“That’s nice,” I answer automatically, propping myself up on my elbows.
“So you can admit it. That you’re hot for one of them. Or even both?”
The best thing is just to ignore her, I remind myself.
“I mean everybody does it. I would totally do it if I were you.”
“Does what?” I ask, despite my best intentions.
She leans forward, her eyes bright with mischief. “Don’t tell me you haven’t heard about Belinda and Blaine!”
“What about Bel— wait. What are you saying?”
She raises her eyebrows and leans back, cheeks sucked in, oozing mystery.
“You’re not telling me that they are…”
She nods once.
“Ew! Gross!”
Shrugging one shoulder, she assumes a more-mature-than-thou expression, as though I just wouldn’t understand.
“It’s just nature, Chelsea,” she sighs as though she’s already bored. “You can’t fight nature.”
Nature, huh? What does she know?
Chance throws the football a little wide and though Jack lunges for it like some kind of jungle cat, it bounces off his fingertips and jolts over the concrete to land between my chair and Yoyo’s. When he comes after it, Jack picks it up and glances at each of us. To my surprise, he drops between our lounge chairs and sits on the patio, grinning with his elbows on his bent knees.
“Hot out today, isn’t it?” he grins, letting his eyes skate shamelessly over Yoyo’s perfect skin.
“Just got a little hotter,” she answers with a mischievous pout.
His eyebrows rise in delighted surprise as his grin twists a little sideways.
“Oh really?” he answers, clearly intrigued. “Are you a fan of hot days?”
Yoyo shrugs one shoulder, slowly raising her arms over her head and crossing her ankles so that she can move her knees. I watch his eyes track every shifting plane of her body, the way he is mesmerized like a cat. Like if she were a mouse, he might jump right on her.
I have to bite my cheeks not to say anything. I don’t know why, but I want to jump in the middle of this. I don’t want his eyes on her. Well… what do I want? I’m not sure, but before long I realize I want his eyes on me. If I could slip myself like a piece of paper between them and intercept that hungry gaze, I think I actually might.
“What are we talking about?” Chance asks, trotting around to our side of the pool.
“Yoyo likes it hot,” Jack nods, wetting his lips with his tongue.
“Is that a fact?” Chance chuckles.
To my surprise, he directs his smile at me. To my greater surprise, he sits down on the end of my chair, nudging my ankles aside with his hips. I freeze in place, sure it must be some kind of mistake as my heartbeat instantly doubles.
“That is definitely a fact,” Yoyo continues smoothly. “The hotter the better, I always say!”
Chance leans back slightly, resting his weight on the heel of his hand which is on the other side of my ankles. Basically, he’s got me caged in. I try to catch his eyes to figure out if he knows he’s doing it, but he is looking at my best friend right now.
When I look up, I see Jack give me a look, kind of a playful jerking of his chin.
“It can get really hot around here,” he says, to her and... to me also? I guess?
Is this really happening?
“Oh trust me,” she giggles as she arches her back. “I could take it.”
“That’s what people always say, but you really shouldn�
�t make promises you can’t keep,” Chance sighs.
“Yeah, people underestimate just how hot things can really get,” Jack adds.
I notice that it actually is pretty hot where I’m sitting, so hot that I have the almost unbearable urge to move. I can feel sweat sliding under my thighs, and a burning heat lances through my sex. It makes me gasp a little, and I realize Chance heard me when he looks me dead in the eyes and takes my ankle in his hand.
“It can be downright dangerous,” Jack continues, shooting me a quick look before catching Yoyo’s eye again.
The way his body is angled, I can tell that Yoyo can’t see what Chance is doing. She can’t see that he’s wrapped my ankle bones in his fingers and is pulling gently, forcing my legs apart just a little. My breath hitches in my throat as he moves me the tiniest bit, just enough so I know it’s really happening. Right here in broad daylight, right in front of my best friend.
“Not as dangerous as me,” she simpers, but suddenly her words sound a little silly to me. She’s doing her best, but I get the feeling it’s not going to be enough.
“Oh, come on,” Jack chuckles. “How dangerous can a Yoyo be? Isn’t that like a toy?”
“Definitely something that likes to be played with,” she answers.
“Oh yeah?” he smiles. “Something that likes to go up and down?”
She shrugs. “Well, I know I’d like to go down, that’s for sure.”
Chance feigns surprise, but when he leans back, he pushes my legs open even further. I try to catch his eye to figure out what he’s really doing, but he stubbornly evades me.
“I can hardly believe my ears!” he stage whispers. “Such language, Yoyo! From ladies who aren’t even legal yet! I’m shocked.”
Yoyo scoffs. “Give me a break, Chance. You know age is just a number. And besides, Chelsea and I are both more than legal, as if that even means anything.”
Suddenly Chance twists toward me, locking his eyes with mine in a startling connection that practically pops.
“Really? Is that a fact?”
I nod dumbly, confirming what I know he already knows. He was at my birthday party a month ago. In fact, he was at my graduation ceremony last year when I graduated high school a year early. He has even helped me with some of my college classes. Weirdly, he knows almost everything about me. And yet, he’s never touched me like this. He’s never handled me the way he is handling me now. His strong palm makes it clear that I can’t escape. That he can do anything he wants to me.