“I’m not jealous, Viv. That would imply I like him, and honestly I don’t know how to feel about him, Viv. He’s just so fucking sexy! I’m frustrated with the whole thing. It’s distracting. I can’t lie. I’m definitely attracted to him.”
“So what are you going to do?” she asked.
“It’s maddening to meet a guy that has me as interested as I am with Bash, and I can’t do anything about it. I actually like being around him. He sets me at ease, and it feels so good just being myself with him. Well, almost myself. I can’t stop thinking about him, yet I can’t enjoy him. At this point, I’m past the idea of remaining single for the sake of remaining single. I’m not thinking of a long-term, committed relationship either. I’m thinking…
“Sex?” Viv said, finishing her sentence.
“God, am I that obvious?”
“Of course you are.”
“You know I’m not usually this…primal. I’m not, but okay Viv. Yes, I’m thinking sex—with Bash.”
“Sounds like the right move, darling,” she shouted. “It’s exactly what you need right now. Think cheesecake, and simply indulge. You know I would, if it were me.”
“I’ve been dressed as a guy all this time, Viv. And have you forgotten he might be gay?”
“There’s a simple way to find out.”
“Yes? How?”
“Tell him you’re not a dude and try to jump his bones,” she said. “If he lets you, you’ll know. If he doesn’t, you’ll still get to grope his goodies.”
“Viv you’re incorrigible.”
“Yes I am. Now come on, lovey. Live a little.”
“Attraction is one thing. Acting on it is another.”
“Don’t be such a good girl,” Viv told her.
Alexandra laughed out loud and ended the call. Time was running out. She could not stall any longer. It was time for her to get ready, as a guy, for her night out with the man she was attracted to, who might be gay. And her life was—as usual—a contradiction she put herself into.
She hopped off the bed and went downstairs to tell Dad she would be leaving soon.
“Have fun out there,” he said, wrapped up in his work.
She scrunched up her nose at his lack of interest. He could have at least pretended he would miss her. When he noticed her reluctance to leave, he looked up from the computer.
“Bash is a decent guy. I like him a lot more than I liked that Wiley boy. Bash will take care of you out there. Now, stop looking like I’m about to send you off to death row.” He said the last part with a teasing grin.
She turned away, slightly embarrassed. “His name was Wilkes, Dad. Not Wiley, and I know it’s not a big deal. Are you sure you’ll be okay here without me?”
“Honey, if I could go with you, I would. Clearly my case of being housebound is a lot worse than yours. Be grateful nothing’s holding you back, and don’t try to use me as an excuse to stay home.”
“Alright, but don’t break any rules while I’m away. Got it? Take your meds like you’re supposed to, and don’t over-exert yourself. Joanne will keep me posted, and if I’m late, Lynn will tell me. I’ll try to be back at a decent hour.”
“I won’t wait up for you,” he said with a yawn.
She went back up to her room and headed for the closet. She tugged out the clothes she had shoved back in there before. After a quick shower, she got dressed.
“Not too shabby. Not too sexy,” she said, turning in front of the mirror to double-check her look. She fixed her belt, and grabbed her wallet and phone to get going.
“You have my phone number, right Joanne?” she asked from the hallway. Joanne told her she did. “It’s on the fridge door too. Call me if you need anything, and I mean anything at all.”
“I will, Mr. Roberts,” she answered.
“Tell me, are you sure you’ll be okay? I can stay if you need me here.”
“I’ve got everything under control. You go right ahead and enjoy yourself. That’s what I’m here for.”
“Try not to give her any trouble,” she teased Dad as she walked past the dining room.
He raised his eyebrows and held a thumb up. They had spent the earlier part of the day playing a game of chess. It was an unexpected request and she was happy to keep him company. Much of the week had been full of such surprises, now that his need for high doses of medicine tapered off with his improving health. His breathing seems normal now. She beamed at him, trying to hide her anxiety. He was in capable hands. He would be fine for a few hours.
The stroll next door took forever. She dragged her feet, prolonging the inevitable. She had told Bash she would meet him at his place so he could drive. When she made it to his front door, she drew up every ounce of nerve within her to give it a light knock. He swung it open immediately. He must have been standing there just waiting for her to knock.
Maybe he couldn’t wait to see me.
Her eyes drifted over him.
He’s so fucking sexy.
The desire she had been trying to ignore washed over her like a tidal wave. He was dressed in black slacks and a carefully ironed cobalt blue shirt rolled up to his elbows. He was clean-shaven, and his dark brown hair was groomed to perfection. He passed a broad hand over it as he smiled down at her. He was close enough that she smelled his musky aftershave that she already loved. Their eyes connected, and she could swear she saw sparks fly. There was no denying it.
I want him. I want this man.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
SEBASTIAN had major doubts about asking Alexandra out as ‘Alex’. They were going out to the speed dating event with Rodrick and Nate, two of the most accepting guys he knew. He took one look at Alexandra in her masculine clothes. Rodrick and Nate would make her in two seconds flat. They would have to be drunk as hell to believe she was just another one of the guys.
He thought maybe it was the fact that he knew what was underneath that blazer and those slacks—a woman he found sexy as sin.
A woman I want.
“Looking good,” he said lightly, hoping to hide the heat in his eyes and keep his hands to himself.
He grabbed his jacket and locked the door. She followed him out to his Jeep, and Sebastian almost walked around to the passenger side to open her door.
Shit. This playing along is gonna be hard tonight.
The drive over was uneventful. On the way to the restaurant, they picked up the guys from the firehouse. Introducing Nate and Rod was a breeze—neither of them acted strange when he told them Alex was Maxwell Storme’s young nephew. He took control of the radio and blasted it to avoid conversation. The walk from the parking lot into the restaurant was not as easy to keep awkward-free. With her tiny frame, the rest of them looked like giants.
The place was a lively little spot. It shattered Sebastian’s expectations when he walked through the door and surveyed the crowded room. A folding sidewalk sign at the entrance announced ‘Speed Date Night’. He thought the place would be a seedy hole in the wall where the desperate few crawled in, licking the wounds from romantic failure, cradling broken hearts and praying for a love match. There were women and men mingling ahead of the official start time. The group looked no different from the average twenty-something crowd he would see at the bars when he went out with the guys.
Once inside, each of them put their names on the sign-in sheet at the door, like everyone else was doing. He could not believe he was out on a Friday night trolling this event for women, when he was standing right next to the woman he was actually interested in. Then again, the woman he was interested in was standing beside him in character—as a guy. He never thought she would have kept it up this long. Now it was seriously screwed up, but as weird as it already felt, an innocent night of speed dating could not be all bad.
“Hey, Bash, don’t try to leave without getting a date. This night is for you, okay? Not us,” Rod reiterated for about the fifth time. “I had to talk Keisha off a ledge before I left the house. She was sure I was up to no good with yo
u two bums.”
“Man, you make relationships sound better and better,” Sebastian joked. Rod jabbed him in the shoulder.
“There’s enough benefits to make up for her crazy, if you know what I mean.”
Sebastian slapped a hand down on Nate’s and Rod’s shoulders, and looked back and forth at each of their smiling faces. “Tell you what, fellas. Don’t bust my balls about getting a date. I made it here. That’s more than enough.”
They grumbled, but what the hell could do? No one was going to force him to start anything off with a woman from this crowd. He locked eyes with Alexandra. He was in awe that his normally astute friends did not make out that ‘Alex’ was female.
“Let’s check out the prospects,” she said, scanning the patrons of the restaurant.
There weren’t any obvious cat ladies in training, or socially-impaired gamer dudes. A lot of the men wore golf shirts, and women were in stylish dresses. It set him at ease. He would not have shown up at all if Alexandra did not come along. He nudged Nate, and discreetly pointed out a woman who looked like one of Nate’s exes. Nate grinned, and acknowledged that the woman was, in fact, his ex-girlfriend.
“Wow, she still looks damn fine,” he said, and whistled low. “Shit, I better warn whoever tries to take her home that she’s a very special kind of crazy.”
The three of them shared a laugh, and Alexandra joined in late. She was trying too hard. She laughed way too loudly. She did not quite jibe as one of the guys, but she was more or less holding her own.
As a guy.
“Get used to it, dude. All women are crazy,” she chimed in.
“Hey, Alex. Pick your poison,” he told her, pointing at the bar. Alcohol was a good idea. It could help Alexandra cut past her awkwardness.
“I’ll have a raspberry twist.”
Or maybe not.
Sebastian’s firefighter cohorts fell silent, and stared at her. Sebastian hid a smile as Alexandra looked from Nate to Rod, realizing she had picked the girliest drink on the menu. “I mean, give me…uh…Scotch and soda.”
“Whiskey sour,” Nate said.
Rod asked for a beer, and Sebastian ordered a soda, as he was designated driver for the night. He got their drinks and slid in the seat next to Alexandra. She looked skittish. She could bolt anytime now. Her eyes skated around the room, darting from face to face. Oblivious to her discomfort, Nate and Rod launched into a conversation about some argument Rod and Keisha had the night before, relating in full detail how their fight ended with what Rod called “hot as hell” make-up sex. Alexandra blushed like a school girl. Sebastian swallowed the laughter that threatened to boil up at the decidedly male talk that probably offended her to no end.
It was time to pull her away. “Hey, we’re going to go find a table, guys. You and Nate come find us when things get started.” He whispered to Alexandra while walking away, “Is everything okay?”
She nodded, dropping her head. “Your friends are nice.”
“Thanks. I think they’re enjoying having you along. You just need to loosen up, man.”
She unconsciously leaned her head on his shoulder. He cleared his throat and stepped away. She got the picture, and took a huge step further away. Sebastian was sure she did not want the guys questioning the nature of their ‘friendship’. He sure didn’t. He would not hear the end of it. Things would get crazy awkward in no time flat.
He took a seat at a free table, and Alexandra sat across from him.
“Aren’t you glad you came out?” he asked, laughing as he said it. He had to get her to relax, or tonight was really going to be hell for her.
She shrugged, taking the first sip of her Scotch and soda. The minute the acrid liquor hit her tongue, she grimaced. It was comical. She may have been seconds from spitting it out, but managed to get it down.
He took the drink away from her. “I can sneak you a Cosmo without anyone being the wiser,” he whispered, happy to keep up her conspiracy. It was entertaining as hell.
“God, that was the nastiest shit I’ve ever tasted!”
“It puts hair on your chest,” he told her, and jokingly added, “Looks like you could use a few.”
“I have enough,” she sputtered, clutching her chest. “I mean, I get waxed. You know? For the ladies.”
“Yeah? I’ve never tried. What’s it like?”
“Painful, but worth it.”
He shook his head. Just then, the hostess stepped up to a podium near the back of the restaurant. She tapped on the microphone and smiled vibrantly at the audience.
“Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get the festivities started. Thanks for coming out to speed date night. I need all of our speed daters to make their way over, so we can set the clock and start meeting each other.” She motioned to the row of tables located in front of the podium.
Although the restaurant and bar was full of people, apparently only about thirty of them were signed up for the speed dating. He and Alexandra made their way over to the tables. Rod and Nate rejoined them and the rest of the hapless people here for the event.
“I’ve never been to anything like this before,” Alexandra confessed.
“None of us have, dude,” Nate whispered with a big grin. “Rough, rugged guys like Nate and me, and pretty boys like you don’t need speed dating to pick up chicks. It’s boring, set-in-their-ways, train-set-building bachelors like Bash here who need all the help they can get.”
He took the ribbing, and joined in the laughter. After all, he was here to spend time with Alexandra, even if she did not know it.
“Alright, folks, let’s talk about how this works,” the hostess said. “We’ve got an equal number of men and women signed up tonight. Now ladies, you will each sit at a table. Ladies, you won’t move. Men, when I ring the bell for the first time, each of you will sit at a table and introduce yourself to the woman at that table. When the bell rings again, it means your five minutes are up, and you’ll move to the table to your left. The bell will ring fifteen times, men. You’ll get to meet every one of these fine ladies here tonight.”
She continued with some obvious ground rules—at least it was obvious to Sebastian. Things like no groping, no lewd comments, no future stalking, and basic common courtesy. She wrapped up with, “Everybody ready?”
Nate, Rod, Alexandra and Sebastian stood with the rest of the men to take the plunge. The first bell chimed, and they were off to the races.
As Sebastian took a seat in front of a gorgeous brunette, Alexandra nervously stumbled into the chair next to him. She was sitting across from a striking blonde. Alexandra stared down at the table the minute she sat down. Sebastian focused on his speed date.
No sense seeming way too interested in the ‘guy’ I came with.
“Hey.” He reached across the table to shake her hand. “What’s your name?”
“Brittany,” the woman answered pointing to her name tag. “And, you would be Bash, right? Wow, I did not expect the guys here to be as hot as you. It must be my lucky night!”
Alexandra’s date cleared her throat for the second time before Alexandra said something. “Uh, hey there…”
“Hello,” the blonde purred. “I’m Amy.”
“Nice to meet you,” she answered. “I’m Alex.”
She looked over at Sebastian and shrugged.
“Ask her about herself,” he told her out of the corner of his mouth.
“Uh, what do you do for a living, Amy?”
Sebastian gave Alexandra pointers throughout the five-minute date. It gave him little time to talk directly to Brittany, but that was not much of a problem. Brittany enjoyed her opportunity to monologue through the time. Sebastian managed just fine with “oh, really?” and “that sounds good” while he coached Alexandra through her speed date.
“Yeah, doll, every day is a mystery. You just never know how it’s going to go. Like, I had to shave the thickest beard off a lady the other day. I just love my clients. I finally got the color mixing down, and…” Ramble, r
amble, ramble.
He smiled over at Alexandra, who was having a harder time faking interest in her date Amy’s spiel about her heartbreak over the last jerk she had dated, who had turned out to be a two-bit hustler, con artist, and petty thief—her words.
Alexandra asked dryly, “So, when did you finally dump him? Was it before or after he went to jail?”
“Well, actually he broke up with me. He met some skank pen pal while he was in jail. The day he got out of county lockup, he moved in with her. Ugh! But, we still keep in touch. I came tonight to prove to Rondo what he’s missing out on.”
“Wow. Yes, it’s good to see you’re over him,” Alex replied, probably with more sarcasm than she realized. Sebastian tried not to laugh.
“And, time’s up!” announced the hostess with a ring of the bell.
“Thank God,” Alexandra murmured under her breath.
Sebastian smiled apologetically at her, pointing at the next table, and when she moved over, he took the seat with Amy. Alexandra looked like she would rather eat nails than continue the charade. He had to do something, or the night would be a complete bust. He didn’t invite her out to have a terrible time.
“Hi, I’m Bash,” he said to Amy. He reached over and shook Amy’s hand.
“Is he your little brother or something? I see you coaching him through this. What’s wrong with him?” she asked in a concerned voice. Alexandra turned and glared at her.
“It’s Asperger’s, isn’t it?” Amy continued. “I just read an article on people with Asperger’s, and he totally fits the description. At first I thought he was weird, but I try not to judge a book by its cover. I get it now, though. Asperger’s! People like that are so unfortunate. They can’t read any human emotions. They’re like robots. Oh, but you’re so sweet to bring him out with you like this—Bash, is it?”
“You should really be the spokesperson for Asperger’s awareness,” Alexandra deadpanned to Amy across from the other table. “I just love how you describe them, oh wait, us, as robot-like, mindless automatons.”
The woman who was now Alexandra’s speed date looked confused. She mouthed the word ‘Asperger’s’ as if she had never heard it before.
Disguise Page 13