Disguise

by Bella Love-Wins

  Alexandra rushed to the kitchen to escape their knowing looks. When she returned with the last of the pots, they were sitting at the table, their questioning expressions still in place as though she had hit the pause button when she left.

  “Oh, come on you two!”

  “What? Old folks are notoriously curious,” Dad said.

  “Too curious…and presumptuous too.”

  “Seriously, honey. Sebastian is really taken with you, from what Rosa tells me. I hear the two of you have spent a lot of time together over the past few weeks. In my experience, when a guy comes around that often, it’s not just for kicks. Now, I’m not trying to play matchmaker, but I don’t want you to get in the way of your own happiness. That’s exactly what you’re doing here.”

  “Dad, if he was coming over to hang out with Alexandra, I’d say you have a point. But he’s not. He comes to hang with ‘Alex’. Your nephew.” Alexandra tried to change the subject before this became a full-fledged dinner-hour topic. “Now can someone please pass the corn on the cob? Mmmm, this smells delish! I can’t believe you whipped this up in the short time I was gone, Rosa.”

  Rosa did not let up. They were tag-teaming her now. “I was explaining to your father how you and Bash hit it off right from the beginning. You’ve been in disguise the whole time. Max believes Sebastian sees something in you, despite your boyish cover, and I’m inclined to agree.” She turned to Dad. “He was even bringing her home cooked meals for a while, Max.”

  “Hey, whose side are you on, Rosa?”

  Dad added, “Mark my words, Alexandra. Bash is interested in you.”

  “I know,” she said without thinking. She covered her mouth, looking up to see their reactions. “It’s not what you think.”

  “Then what is it?” Dad asked.

  She could not bring herself to tell them Bash was interested in her because he was gay. They would not judge him, but it was not her place to tell them. She sighed, shaking her head.

  “It doesn’t matter, anyway. I have to get back to LA soon. My flight is booked for some time next week.”

  “Did something happen between you and Wilkes?” Dad asked.

  She choked on the white wine she was sipping, and turned her face to the side, coughing to catch her breath. “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “You tell me. Are you running back to LA to patch things up with him?”

  Rolling her eyes, she set aside her wineglass and steepled her fingers above her plate. “I’m going back to LA to finish my next album, and you know I was already working on it. I don’t have time for relationships right now, and especially not with Wilkes Barracks. I’m through with him, for good reason, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is you won’t see me pairing up with anyone right now. I thought you’d be fine with that, Dad. Didn’t you say I should stop playing the damsel in distress? I’m the knight in this story, and I’m saving myself this round. I don’t need Wilkes or Bash to be happy.”

  He cleared his throat and started eating. “I never said you needed a man to make you happy,” he grumbled.

  Rosa looked back and forth from Dad to Alexandra. She placed her hand on top of his. “Alexandra, I think your father is trying to tell you he’d like to keep you home while he has you. Like I told you earlier, we don’t want you to feel like we’re forcing you to leave. What’s the harm in continuing your friendship with Bash a little longer while you’re here? Can’t the album wait?”

  It could. She and Bash could become closer as friends. Feelings could get hurt, hearts could get broken. “I don’t think it can wait any longer, Rosa. Rick has been on me for days now.”

  “Is he strong-arming you?” her father asked, concerned.

  “Rick is just being Rick. I understand where he’s coming from. The longer I’m away, the less interested fans and the media will be. I’ve been very selfish lately. Rick has put a lot of effort into keeping things afloat while I’ve been her. Listen, don’t worry about me when it comes to finding love. When it’s my time, there won’t be anything than can stop me and the man of my dreams from being together.”

  “Oh, but there is,” Dad said, pointing right at her. “I didn’t think I raised a coward, is all.”

  “Why would you say that?” Her back was up now.

  “Deep down, you already know you have to be honest with Sebastian about what’s going on. You can’t leave him in the dark about your ‘Alex Roberts’ shenanigans. He might surprise you when you tell him the truth, but you’re too chicken to find out…or too irresponsible to reap what you sow. Either way, you’re taking the easy way out, running away like this.” His face softened. “Don’t look so offended, Alexandra. Someone has to dish out the tough love. That’s my job. Look, if you consider him a friend, as you say, he deserves to hear from you why you kept up this act.”

  She chewed on her lower lip, accepting the less than gentle reprimand. Dad was right about telling Bash. She could not leave without telling him Alex Roberts was really Lexxi Rock.

  “You’re right. I’ll tell him, Dad. First thing in the morning.”

  Satisfied with her response, they finally turned the conversation to other subjects. She picked at the meal with barely any awareness of the taste, pushing away her almost untouched plate after Rosa and Dad were finished eating.

  She stuck around long enough to help Rosa clear the table, and loaded the dishwasher before taking the card table back to the basement.

  “I think I’m going to turn in early, you guys.”

  “I have to go as well,” Rosa replied. “I have to leave early in the morning to deliver some papers for your father. I probably won’t be back in the city until around noon.”

  “Thanks for making dinner, Rosa. Drive safely.” She turned to her father. “By the way, Dad, the nurse called. She’ll be here in a few to set up the antibiotic drip. You only have another week of this to go.”

  “It’s one step closer to being out of this bed.” Dad winked at her. “Goodnight, chickadee.”

  “Goodnight, both of you.”

  ***

  After shedding her clothes, Alexandra did something she had not done in a while. She stood in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom. She examined herself in the silk pajama top she wore to bed instead of her usual pajamas. LA was such a body-conscious place, femininity had been something she could never take for granted. With such a focus on appearance, there would always be someone more womanly, stunning, sexy, gorgeous, or curvy around the next corner. Other than her purple hair to define her, she had never bothered to compete. Now, with the role she chose to play over the past few weeks, she saw it now, and something more. She was more than her gender, her sexuality, her profession, or her wealth.

  That part of her was Alex Roberts.

  She could not remove the character as easily as she had shed Lexxi Rock. Alex Roberts, without the clothes, was who she really was. For Lexxi Rock, all she had to do was cut her hair. Now she really only had one person to stop fooling. Confessing to him would be the hardest.

  She wondered what Sebastian would think of her like this. Would he recognize the mix of Lexxi and Alex? The playful tomboy who wasn’t always self-assured, who sometimes wanted to hide away from the world? Would he get the part of her that did love the spotlight? Alone in her room, she could admit to being a coward. It was easier to keep things the way they were with Bash. She did not have to worry about his feelings—or her own. Friendships were simpler. Relationships were clumsy.

  Her chest rose and fell as she took in a deep breath. She noticed the gentle slope of her breasts underneath the sheer dark blue silk top, trimmed with lace. Her waist tapered in from narrow hips, and beneath the hem of the top, her thighs were slender and muscular from regular jogging. That was something she could not wait to get back to—her private gym.

  She rifled her hands through her hair, which was longer now, falling around her face. Turning her face side to side, she imagined how he would see her. She moved
away from the mirror to the window, drawn to him across the space between their houses. Earlier, she wanted to tell Bash she would miss him. She did not say it, to spare his feelings. Now, it was clear she was just protecting herself from being hurt again.

  She gazed out the window. It was settled. This was the countdown—the countdown to goodbye, the countdown to telling him who she really was. She would tell him in the morning.

  “No sense in waiting to the last minute.”

  She pushed her hair back and crawled into bed. It was late. Rosa had already left. The nurse had arrived, and Dad had received his meds. He was sleeping. She was the only one up, and she needed to get her rest too, because she had something important to do in the morning.

  I’m going to be honest with Bash.

  I’m going to tell him I’m Lexxi Rock.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  ALEXANDRA let out a soft moan from deep in her throat.

  Sebastian whispered in her ear, “Alex, you’re so sexy. I want to pleasure you at night, and bring a smile to your face every morning. Tell me what you want, Alexandra.”

  Alexandra felt his hot breath on her neck, and the kiss he pressed just below her earlobe. She could barely think.

  “Mmmm. Oh God, Bash. Just take me,” she said, gasping as he licked and caressed her neck. “Take me, then hold me. I need you, Sebastian.”

  He did not wait a second longer. He took her neck and ravaged her collarbone, sucking and gently kissing her with his lips and tongue and breath. She ran her hand through his hair, gripping him tightly at the base of his neck. She moaned when he pressed his hand firmly on her back. He lowered his head down between her breasts, caressing and teasing her as he made his way to her stomach. She ran her hands down his back, loving the contact between their bodies.

  Sebastian moved lower still, devouring the tender skin below her belly button. Her stomach pulsed as he kissed her. She felt his hands slide up and down her sides, caressing her rib line and down to her hips, trailing across her sensitive skin. He tilted his neck to look in her eyes. Alexandra met his gaze, and her lips parted. Her hips began to move under him, drawing him in closer.

  “Close your eyes Alexandra. I’ll take good care of you.”

  She did.

  She felt him move his hands down to the tops of her inner thighs, massaging her as he went. She parted her legs at the feel of his tongue at her pelvic bone. He ignited her to the core. His hot skin against hers aroused her, filling her with abandon and need and pleasure all at the same time, sending her to another world.

  He slowly moved between her legs, kissing a path down her lower stomach to her inner thighs. Her hips rocked without her permission, her center begging to be touched and entered without saying the words. She wanted him—needed him. She was going crazy with desire, but reminded herself they had all night, and she would love every minute of waiting.

  He made his way down her legs, kissing every spot, teasing and tempting her all the way down to her toes. She gasped and hissed, and tilted her hips, already close to the edge from only his touch. She was losing control of her need. She had to have him. Her body craved him. She was panting and squirming under his touch; almost gone from her mind. Her whimpers became pleas.

  “I need you, Bash,” she cried.

  He moved back up her legs, slowly, deliberately, whispering that he would give her pleasure to last all night, and take her to her heights over and over again. She surrendered to him now.

  All her need was expressed and on display, beckoning him. There was no more waiting, no more tempting; there was just the two of them, ready to satisfy each other, ready to hit the heights of pleasure. He grasped behind her knees and pulled her gently into position underneath him.

  His skin was scorching hot against her. He held her hips firmly. She was so close, so ready to be set free. She threw her head back as they joined together, each moving with the other, rocking in synchrony, matching each other’s rhythm, becoming one. They found their heights together, their voices connecting as much as their bodies, each one shaking through the waves that rolled through them. He held her afterwards, wrapping her in his warmth, protecting her from the outside world.

  “I love you, Alexandra,” he said in a whisper. “Why did you leave without telling me who you really were?”

  Alexandra opened her eyes and sat up with a jolt. Bash was not there. She had been dreaming. She collapsed back into the bed. She wished she had just told him last night. Even her guilt had invaded her dreams.

  ***

  Alexandra was hot. It felt like she was back in the humid rainforest set where she had filmed her last music video. The air was suffocating, stifling her ability to breathe. The place was beautiful, but all that beauty hid something terrible. She could not put her finger on what was wrong. She choked back a cough, and swatted at oversized leaves as she tried to make her way forward.

  “Where are we supposed to go?” she heard her father’s voice.

  It was close but also far away. She searched for him, but could not find him. She reached out, and their hands touched, but he was pulled away. Someone was chasing her. There was nowhere to escape. She had to get her father out, so she kept reaching, searching in the darkness, coughing, stifling in the humid, thick air. No matter which way she turned, she felt as though she had already been there. She was prolonging the inevitable.

  “Dad! Come this way!” she screamed.

  As she heard the sound of her own scream, she knew she was dreaming, except this dream was washed in red and orange, like bright sunlight was piercing through the canopy of leaves overhead, sending down heat and steam and humidity that made her clothes stick to her wet skin.

  “Daddy, please, we have to get out of here!”

  Suddenly, she heard the roar of thousands of hands clapping. She was whisked away to a huge stage in the middle of a black arena. The audience went wild with applause. The noise was deafening. Terrifying. The scene was familiar, yet touched with danger. She whipped her hair around, but her knee-length hair was replaced by short curls close to her head.

  “No, I’m Alex.”

  The blinding spotlight pointed to her. It was hot enough to make her break a sweat. She looked around in alarm, still trying to find her father.

  “No, this is wrong. I’m not supposed to be here.”

  “You’re on fire, Lexxi!” Rick exclaimed from behind the curtain. He flashed her a thumbs up.

  “It’s too hot, Rick. I can’t stay here. Get me out!”

  “Lexxi! Lexxi! Lexxi!” The crowd chanted maniacally.

  “No.” She shook her head again, backing away.

  A loud crash made her jump and the microphone in her hand fell to the floor with a thud and whistle of static. Pyrotechnics exploded behind her. Rick kept repeating, “You’re on fire, baby!”

  “Fire,” she murmured. “Fire.”

  “Alex!”

  Her eyes fluttered open and she was overwhelmed by a blast of smoke to the face.

  “Fire!” she screamed, awake now and back in her bedroom. It was as hot as an oven. Her panicked eyes quickly scanned the bedroom, but there weren’t any flames—just smoke pouring in from beneath the crack of her door.

  “Oh my god!” she screamed. “The house is on fire!”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  SEBASTIAN woke up in the middle of the night, and saw the tell-tale orange flicker through the window of his bedroom. He sat up and looked out the window.

  Max’s house is on fire!

  Alexandra!

  He immediately envisioned Max and Alexandra stuck in a burning house, unable to get out. The panic hit him like a brick.

  I have to get them out.

  He raced out of his room, down the stairs and out the front door to get over to his neighbor’s house. Thankfully, their front door was unlocked. He hurried inside and got to Max first, almost lifting him out of the hospital bed. He hustled to the foot of the stairs with Max at his side, an arm looped across his shoulder.<
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  “Alex!” he shouted up the stairwell. Sebastian had to get Max out first, but refused to leave her behind. “Alex, if you can hear me, get down on the floor and crawl! I’ll come back for you!”

  “Sebastian, go get my daughter!”

  Max tried to shout at him with what strength he had left. Sebastian dragged him toward the front door. Max coughed and sputtered. The smoke was too thick for him in his weakened state. Sebastian needed to pull him outside, away from the overpowering smoke. He looked at Max, struggling to catch his breath, and each time his chest rose to suck in some air, a wracking coughs kicked in in.

  “My oxygen,” Max forced out, between a fit of wheezing.

  “I’ll get it. I’ll get Alexandra. Please, just stay right here!”

  Sebastian set him down on the pavement at the other side of the street. It did not look good. With one or more oxygen tanks stored in the burning house, the place could blow anytime. He could not tell where the fire had started or how much of the house was engulfed. He had no idea how much time he had before the fire would reach the dining room, but he had to get both the oxygen tank and Alex out. The smoke had already begun to creep across the ceiling and billow outside. As he ran back through the open front door, a crushing uncertainty about which to do first overcame him.

  What if the fire started in her room?

  Panic clutched his chest.

  “Alex!” he shouted, and raked shaking fingers through his hair.

  He ignored the pain in his injured leg, taking the stairs two at a time. His injury and his anxiety made the trek harder than normal. The second floor was where the fire was hottest and most treacherous. He rushed across the landing and jogged up to the third floor for Alexandra.

  “Bash!” She burst through the bedroom door, barely visible in the thick clouds of smoke.

  Sebastian bent forward, ducking his head to get clearer air. Up here, with all the smoke, they could both end up passing out. He needed to get them out fast.

  “Get down on the floor, Alex! Get as low as you can and come to me. We don’t have much time!”