by Maya Daniels
I need to go to the lake. I get up, storming through the house and up the stairs to grab my bikini.
“Wow, ho, hey, where are you going?” says Jezzinta as I run past her and almost push her on her butt.
“Sorry, I need to go to the lake,” I say as I climb the stairs two at a time.
“Why?” she calls after me.
“I need to swim! I need to think,” I call back while jumping on one leg, trying to take my pants off. I change quickly and, wrapping a sarong around myself, I run back down.
“I shouldn’t be too long,” I call out.
Before anyone can say anything, out the front door I go. I think I hear Remi say something, but I’m still in no mood to talk. I’m excited. It really has been too long since I’ve been swimming. I feel like a little girl again.
I run all the way to the lake, drop my sarong, and jump in. As soon as the water touches my body the rest of the world fades away. It’s just me, surrounded by peaceful, nurturing water—the elixir of life! I swim up and down for a while, then flip onto my back and just float there, staring at the sky. It’s beautiful how it changes colors while the day is slowly fading away. I watch the beautiful blues and whites mix with the golden rays. I’ve been in the water for a while, yet still nothing comes to mind on how to narrow down the search, so I do what I used to do when I started learning how to be a proper water elemental. I shape the water into a shallow bubble and place it around my head. I can breathe like this and submerge underwater. The crystal-clear waters are a sight to be seen. There is no sound here, just silence, and I close my eyes, breathing and enjoying the water.
After a while, something touches my arm and I jerk my head down to see what it is, but I don’t see my body—well, not my physical one, anyway. I only see my energy body, where some little black box enters my arm like a tracker, making my heart beat wildly in my chest. I need to get it out. I twist my arm and turn my head to see where it went but I can’t find it, so I start panicking. As I’m about to kick my feet so I will come up to the surface, I realize my feet are not there anymore. Instead of my feet, I have a tail. A beautiful, bluish-green mermaid tail, and as I admire it, sudden dread coils up in my stomach. I turn around only to see a hideous creature like a mix between a crocodile and a shark coming towards me with its jaws open, and I flip my tail to get away from it. I swim fast. I guess having a tail helps, but I’m not fast enough. After a while, it catches up to me and opens its jaws that’re wider than my body. I disappear in its belly. It’s very dark, but at least I’m not being chewed, so I’m grateful.
I curl up in a ball, sitting in the darkness, hugging the tail that, under my palms where I am clutching it, turns into legs again. Any moment, I expect to be burned by the acid of the creature’s stomach, but nothing happens, so I wait. A sliver of bronze-copper light appears like a rip in the dark and I squint my eyes at it. Maybe Remi and Jezzinta came after me and they got the creature. The sliver starts widening slowly, but as I see more of it, I realize it’s not the creature’s belly. It’s a lotus flower opening its petals and I’m sitting curled up in the middle of it. It’s fully open now and I slowly stand up. All around me it seems like I’m in space, different shades of blues blending together. I step out of the lotus just to see a mist in front of me that takes the shape of a demon. I can only clearly see his upper body and he looks menacing with his huge horns and red eyes, so I start backing away towards the inside of the flower.
“Don’t be afraid. I mean you no harm,” a very deep voice that makes my insides shake says, making my eyes meet the demon’s. “I am not going to hurt you, you have my word,” he says again.
“Yup, that’s what the wolf said to Little Red Riding Hood before he ate her,” I mumble under my breath and he laughs a deep, strong laugh that makes the ground under my feet shake to the point I almost fall down.
“I will not hurt you. I have no need.” His expression tells me I’m a fool for backing away. The guy obviously doesn’t have a mirror, but somehow, I force my legs to stop moving and face him.
“So, what do you want?” I ask him.
“I want nothing, little witch. I was summoned here.”
“Who summoned you here? It wasn’t me, I was too busy being swallowed alive,” I say, frustrated.
“I only want to help, not hurt,” he says as he inches closer.
I freak out and search for something, anything, to help me defend myself but there is nothing, so I lift my hand and as it comes to eye level, something digs into the skin of my palm. I open it and there, sitting in the middle of it, is a beautiful ornament. It’s like a sphere or an egg with intricate carvings and it glows a beautiful, silvery light.
“No! Don’t!” the demon yells and I think my ears will start bleeding from the thunderous voice, but I don’t care. If he’s saying no, then whatever I’m doing is exactly what I should be doing, so I lift it even closer towards him even though he is trying to twist as far away from it as he can.
I step closer and he fades away along with his screams. In his place, a translucent butterfly takes flight toward the horizon. I was going to go back to sit in the flower since I didn’t know what else to do when suddenly someone grabs me around my waist and starts moving me. The flower fades and as I try to get a glimpse, the only thing I can focus on is water and the feel of someone holding me to their chest as they swim upwards. As we exit the water, I’m startled by Derik’s shocked face.
“You didn’t drown,” he stutters, his hands trembling around my waist. Glancing around, I realize I’d been having a vision underwater.
“No, I didn’t.”
He hugs me so tight I think he will break a bone or two.
“Oh, thank God you’re okay!” He is shaking.
“I can’t breathe, Derik!” I squeal, and he lets go, but not completely. He is still holding onto me like I might disappear if he does.
“Sorry,” he says simply.
“That’s okay. We can get out of the water now …” He pulls me towards him and crushes his lips to mine. I let him. With one hand in my wet hair and the other holding me tight to him, he kisses me like his life depends on it, making soft little moans that give me butterflies. I can stay here kissing him forever, but it’s getting dark and I know the girls will come to check on me. They don’t need the show.
I pull back and stare at him. He reminds me of a Viking with his wet hair and deep eyes seem to search me as if I hold the secrets of the universe.
“We need to get out of the water. It’s getting cold.” That’s the only thing I can come up with.
“I thought I’d lost you there,” he says like I haven’t spoken.
“Come on, let’s go.”
I move away and start swimming towards the shore and I can hear him following behind me. As I walk out, I grab my sarong and twist it around me, my body turning away from him.
“That’s a beautiful tattoo,” he says, and I glance over my shoulder at him. Following his eyes, I see his eyes on my back. “I’ve never seen a tree tattoo like that before. It almost looks real.” He comes closer.
“It’s not a tattoo, it’s a birth mark.” I have it next to my spinal cord, a strange place, to say the least.
“How amazing,” he whispers and touches it with his fingertips. That makes me shiver.
“Derik, you need to go. I’m very grateful for everything you’ve done for me. It’s more than I deserve, maybe, but I have to ask you to go. I’m not in a good place right now and things are very complicated around here. Nothing is as it seems. If it was a different time, or even place, I would’ve wanted nothing more than to spend time with you, but as it stands, it’ll be cruel to do this to you when I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I’m sorry.” I say the last part with my eyes on his feet. I can’t even look at him. He lifts my face up with his finger under my chin.
“They say to find what your passion is, and then to let it kill you,” he whispers. That brings back the story that Thomas was telling me, but I’ll
think about it later. I can’t think straight with Derik’s focus on me like this.
“Well, I want you alive, not dead, so I need you to go and not come here anymore.” I try to sound angry. I am angry, but more at myself and my life than at him.
“I’ll do what you ask of me, Alexia, but I can’t promise I’ll do it for long.”
“Well, you’re going to have to do it, Derik. I’ve made up my mind, and I have other people to consider, and responsibilities, too. I can’t think of myself or my selfish desires. I don’t want to hurt you. Please, just go.” I turn my head away.
“For your love, I will suffer for eternity, Alexia.” He softly kisses my cheek and I can hear him walking away. Tears are running down my face, but it’s better this way. I’d rather he hate me than be dead.
“It’s for the best, sister, and you know it,” Remi says from behind me.
“What? You couldn’t wait to come and gloat? It’s not enough I had to do it, you had to be here to watch? Was it a good show at least for you, sister?” I say sister so cynically that even I flinch from the sound of it, but I’m hurt and angry and everything in between.
“I deserve that,” she says quietly and turns around, walking towards the house.
I drop down on the sand and cry for hours because by the time I’m back in the house, it’s almost dawn. Falling on my bed, my eyes close and I’m asleep within seconds.
Chapter 13
“So that’s all from the vision?” asks Jezzinta, handing me a cup of coffee while I’m sitting on the porch.
“Yes. I’m not sure if there was more because I was pulled out of the water.” I peer sideways at Remi, who sits silently on her chair, pretending I’m not there.
“Can you make something out of it?” I ask Jezzinta.
“Hmm. Well, all I can think is you need to face what you fear most if you’re to transform and live up to the challenge,” she says thoughtfully.
“I fear nothing,” I tell her honestly. “Death used to scare me, but after everything that has happened, I believe I’d even welcome it if it comes.”
“That can’t be true. We all fear something, you just need to find what that something is,” she says. I suppose she’s right. I just need to dig deeper to figure it out.
“Maybe we should actually look into the darker rituals in the Book of Shadows,” I say to no one in particular. “I mean, the demon said he was summoned there. Maybe it was a hint, Jez?”
“Maybe.” She squints at me, the corners of her eyes crinkling and I can almost feel her mind working.
“I’ll go see if I can find anything.” Remi gets up and walks inside.
“What’s with the two of you?” Jezzinta narrows her eyes at me like I’ve done something wrong.
“Nothing. She thinks she’s entitled to have a say in my life and I strongly disagree. That’s what’s up,” I tell her, staring towards the trees in the distance. I’m really not in the mood to talk about it.
“Well, in a way she does, you know. She was sent here to make sure you live this time, so she has to protect you,” Jezzinta says quietly.
“Well, she’s not doing a good job then, is she? She does her damn best to protect me from a good man while she was nowhere to be found when I almost got raped and killed,” I snap at her, instantly regretting it. I should just go hide under a rock or something until I calm down. It’s not Jezzinta’s fault I’m irritated. It’s anyone’s fault but hers. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you, I’m just … I don’t know what I am, to be honest.” I exhale a deep breath.
“It’s okay, Alexia. I understand, sister, but there is much to it that you overlook as well. Like I said before, she’s seen you die more times than anyone would like, and last time you loved someone, he ripped the heart out of your chest and stomped on it. She was there to see it all and she was there for you when you were putting the pieces together. Anyone would do what she does to protect you if they were in her shoes.”
“I understand that, Jez, but I’m not a child. I’m a grown woman, remember? Okay, I might have forgotten about everything that’s expected of me for a second there, but it’s fixed now. Here I am and I’ll do everything everyone expects and then some. I want this to be over so I can actually have my life back, because as shitty as it was, it was still mine. I had some control over it, at least. I need that back,” I tell her honestly.
“I hope for all our sakes, sister, that it will be that simple, but something tells me that everything that has happened so far, as stressful as it was, was only the calm before the storm,” she says, getting up.
She pats my hair like I’m a child, but I don’t mind. I smile at her absently. I am tired of everything, and that exhaustion stretches all the way to the bottom of my soul. When she walks inside, I finally take a deep breath. I need my solitude. It’s crucial to my existence, although not many people understand my need for it.
I lean the back my head on the swing and just breathe, humming a song my grandmother used to sing to me as a child. It’s really not a song one would sing to a child, come to think of it. It’s very sad and sorrowful, which makes me wonder why she sang it to me. The words escape next, and the tension dissipates from my body. The song talks about someone loving another person so much that they are willing to spend an eternity in Hell just to see that person smile at them. Unfortunately, that person leaves without a trace and they never get their wish, so they dedicate their love to the mountain that will keep their secret forever.
“That’s a beautiful song, even if I don’t understand it.” Philip’s comment makes me jump, my heart lodging in my throat.
“Mr. Stamelos, what are you doing here?” I ask while trying to catch my breath. Geeze, he scared the life out of me. Peering at him closely, he seems tired, like he hasn’t slept for months. “Are you okay?”
“Now I’m ‘Mr. Stamelos?’” He flinches at the title, as if I hurt him.
“You’ve always been Mr. Stamelos to me,” I point out. He chuckles without humor.
“Yes. Yes, I have, haven’t I?” He sits on the steps and leans against the wall. “I don’t know what happened to me, Al. I wish you would believe me. I never meant to scare you or force anything on you. I still have no excuse for it, but I had the need to find you and tell you this. I really am sorry.” It breaks my heart to see him like this. I’d rather deal with his attitude and his smartass comments the way he was than with this man sitting in front of me, looking lost. It’s so unlike him.
“I think I know what happened,” says Remi from the open front door, pulling both our gazes her way. “It’s a long story that I don’t think I should go into detail with …another human(she says human pointedly and I get her point)being, but it had something to do with Alexia’s pheromones. You see, it happens sometimes. When patients wake up from a coma like she did, the pheromones are much stronger and they affect people that are in very close proximity like you were,” she says to Philip. His eyes are bugged out like she is nuts, and that expression makes me almost laugh out loud.
Even he’s not buying it, it probably isn’t too far from the truth, even with it being a witch’s perspective. Now that I think about it, my initiation with Inanna may have triggered his reaction. It’s better now, because I have control, somewhat, over my energy.
“It’s okay, Philip, it’s been a very emotional and stressful week. I’m willing to forget about it. No hard feelings. However, that still doesn’t explain what you’re doing here and how you found me.” It’s strange that he’s here. The ladies are very careful when running errands or getting food to not be seen coming here.
“I saw her in one of the stores downtown.” He gestures towards Remi with his chin, but I notice his eyes haven’t strayed from her since she walked out. “I followed her, thinking that when she stopped I’d ask her how to find you, but to my surprise, she drove all the way here and I realized you were here as well. It took a couple of days to actually muster the courage to come and tell you I was sorry,” he says shee
pishly.
“Well, all is forgotten, and now you can leave,” I say to him.
“I can make a cup of coffee, if you like,” says Remi at the same time and I stare at her. Seriously? Now she’s nice?
“Sure, I’d like that.” Philip turns to her and I see her blushing a little while he looks like he’s all but forgotten I’m still there. Now I get it. It’s okay for everyone but me. Shaking my head, I get up and walk inside, closing the door behind me.
“You got it all wrong, sap,” says Jezzinta. I didn’t even see her standing there.
“What, exactly, did I get wrong?” I raise my eyebrows at her.
She only shakes her head and walks away. Whatever. I honestly don’t care. I’m going to search for the ritual while they’re doing whatever it is they do.
It’s been a couple of hours since I began flipping through the dark rituals, but I haven’t found anything. I think I should try to channel Inanna. Maybe she can shed some light on what we are missing. I light candles which I place around in a circle with jasmine incense, and I sit in the center cross-legged. Concentrating on my breathing, slowly I fall into deep meditation.
“You are here, love.” Her husky voice echoes through my mind.
“Yes, mother, I need your help.”
A light grows brighter in the darkness behind my closed eyes, and there she is, as powerful and as magnificent as ever. Her presence makes me look like an incompetent lost child.
“Help with what?” she asks, smiling.
“The full moon is almost upon us. We need to find the ritual to locate the potions that the warlock is hunting for so we can protect them, but we’ve had no luck so far,” I tell her. “I was hoping you’d point us in the right direction,” I add hopefully. Her power crackles like an electric storm at the mention of Thomas, and my skin starts to prickle. It’s painful, but I stay quiet. I don’t want her angry when I need answers.