by Maya Daniels
Yesterday I found a silver lining in my cage—a library so large it might take me a lifetime to read everything. I’ll die a happy soul in it, so that’s where I’m headed at the moment. No one is ever there, either, like they might catch a disease if they touch the books or something, which works just fine for me.
As I walk through the huge double doors, the smell of books and dust hits me like a wave and I breathe it in. It’s the most beautiful smell in the world to me. I go to pick a book out of the thousands there and it takes me a while to choose. There’s everything from every era, from every civilization known to mankind, and unknown, too. Obviously I go for the unknown. It’s more intriguing. The one I read yesterday was a story about Enki, the god of fresh waters, and Inanna. It spoke how Enki was the keeper of ME—the rules of the universe—but one night they both got drunk and Inanna tricked him to give her the ME. By the time he figured out what was going on, she’d fled to her city and hid them. He tried everything, but he was too late to get them back. It made me laugh. That sounds so much like Inanna. If she sets her mind on something, she’ll do it—unlike me at the moment.
I search through that section to find something else that will make me smile, and I come across a thick book with leather covers and no title. That’s strange. I pull it out and huff a little because it’s quite heavy. Nothing written on top of it either, only a horned cap embossed into the leather like a stamp of gold. Interesting. I carry it to the same table I sat at yesterday. It’s a long wooden table with carvings of branches and leaves on the legs and trim. There’s a lamp sitting on top so you can read through the night if you wish, which I took advantage of last night.
I drop the book with a loud thud on the table and pull the chair in. After reading a few pages, I realize it’s a book about Enlil, about how he became who he is, his life, his victories, and his relations with other gods. It figures. He would keep a book about himself to feed his ego and narcissistic personality. I was just about to close it and take it back when a paragraph catches my eye. It mentions Anzu and chills run up and down my spine. What the hell is Anzu doing in a book about Enlil? So I start reading.
Anzu is a giant bird with a lion’s head. It is so huge that whirlwinds and storms are caused when it flaps its wings it says in the book. I’m happy I don’t have to come across it.
As I continue reading, I come across the part that changes everything I’ve ever thought or believed. The Tablets of Destiny are Enlil’s tablets. It is he who wrote the fate of everything on Earth in them, but they were stolen by Anzu, and Enlil’s quest to retrieve them started then and has lasted to this day.
Well fuck! Now what?
My mind swirls with the implications of this little revelation. Did he know what I was doing, and if so, why didn’t he grab the potions when we were on the boat? Is he aware I just killed his only chance of finding those tablets? Is that why he came for me, taking human form and showing up in my realm? Millions of questions are coming and going, making me dizzy and I notice I’m also hyperventilating. I need to calm down. He can’t know or I would’ve been dead by now, right? I read everything again, and it’s all there in black and white. I didn’t imagine it. I close the book. I need to get out, I need fresh air or I’m going to faint.
“I see you found my book, my love.” His voice sends dread creeping into my heart. I look at him and smile, trying to breathe while hoping he will not notice my panic. “Are you still not well then?” He frowns and walks up to me, touching my forehead like I’m his child.
“Um, no. I’m still a little faint. It comes and goes, lately.”
I want to start fidgeting, but if I move a muscle, he will know something is up, so instead I lean my forehead on his chest. At least he won’t see my face, which I’m assuming is as pale as the shirt he is wearing. He sighs as if I’ve done him a great favor, and he hugs my shoulders, kissing the top of my head.
“It’s okay. We have a lifetime together, my love, and I’ll make sure nothing takes you away from me now that you are finally here.” I shiver at his words, but he mistakes it for me not feeling well.
“Come. I’ll take you to your room and sit with you for a while.” Before I can say a word, he bends down, picks me up, and starts walking, the cyborgs following behind us like obedient dogs. I don’t say anything, just concentrate on my breathing: inhale slowly, exhale even more slowly. I send my energy out to poke at his, keeping it subtle so he doesn’t notice. Even like this, his power almost takes my breath away.
The book was not lying. He is the most powerful god. Not even Sin has this much power, and I realize I’m screwed. No matter what I do or don’t do, he’ll find out and I will die, probably a very slow, painful death, so I need to come to terms with it. With that realization another came, too. I want to live, and so much that I will do everything I possibly can to get away from him. I just need to be a better player in his game. It all comes down to that, doesn’t it? To be one step ahead of your opponent, regardless if they are friend or foe. It’s called the game of life. What a paradox.
We reach my room while I’m lost in my musings, and he walks in, telling the cyborgs to wait outside.
“They can come in. I’m used to them now,” I tell him, hoping we aren’t alone. He stares down his nose at me and closes the door in their faces with his foot.
“I don’t need an audience when I spend time with you, my love, you are for my eyes only.” His eyes burn into mine and I shiver again. I guess my luck has run out.
Don’t get me wrong, he is one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen, with his tall, lean figure and angelic face. His silverish hair gives him so much character, it seems so soft it makes me want to spend a lifetime running my fingers through it. But it’s those eyes. They are the brightest blue, but when I look at them, they freeze me on the spot like icebergs. I almost think I may sink, then drown in their depths. They are merciless, and I’m not a fool. I know he’ll be merciless if it comes to that. And after reading that book, I can bet my life it’ll come to that. The only question is when.
He puts me down on the bed and I try my best not to curl into a ball and close my eyes to make him disappear. Instead, I sit very still and watch him eying me. I feel that he knows something is up, so I think of Inanna’s words, that to entice a man, a woman doesn’t need to lay with him. Then I think about the story I read on how she got her hands on the rules of the Universe. I’m not Inanna, vessel or not, but I can play ignorant with the best of them. I pat the bed next to me and, raising an eyebrow, he sits.
“That book I was reading is absolutely amazing,” I tell him, leaning my head on his shoulder.
“Is it, now?” he says, putting his head on top of mine.
“Mhm, I love how it describes you as the most powerful god in existence.” And, of course, what every god wants to hear. “I feel so safe knowing you’ll always protect me.” I curl my arms around his.
“Of that, my love, you can be sure,” he says proudly. Yup, buttering up works like a charm, but the tricky part is next. I have to play it right, have to be careful because I can sense he is anticipating something.
“I got a little frustrated, to be honest, when I read one section,” I say casually.
“Oh?”
“Well, yes. I mean, you’re the most powerful, but I read that thing Anezy, Azezy … whatever it’s called, stole some tablets from you. I mean, how that’s even possible is beyond me.”
Act dumb, Al, just act dumb, I tell myself. The temperature in the room drops, the tension so thick it can be cut with a knife. Here goes nothing, I say to myself.
Lifting my head, I blink at him all wide-eyed. “Oh, darling, I’m sorry, I didn’t think it’d anger you so much.” I kiss him gently on the lips. “I shouldn’t have read that book, it only got me upset, too.” Not looking away, I stare into his glacier eyes, which are studying my face.
“You don’t remember what happened?” He narrows his eyes, but I keep my eyes full of concern for him, at least
as much as I can muster.
“Remember? I should remember something about that?” Leaning back as if he slapped me, his shoulders relax, letting me know my plan is working.
Angling his head towards me, a thoughtful look passes over his face. “I thought you remembered all your past lives after the initiation, my love. Was I mistaken?”
“I only remember the places and times, and bits and pieces of details coming occasionally, but that’s all. I was told it’ll take some time for it all to be available to my memory.” That’s the truth. I don’t have to lie about it. I wish it wasn’t because it would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.
“I guess I was mistaken, then.” He gazes off into the distance and I see the wheels turning behind his eyes. We sit like that for a while. I let him daydream, or contemplate my demise, not caring which it is as he’s not studying me because it’s unnerving to say the least.
“I see no harm in telling you about it, my love,” he says out of nowhere, and it makes me jump a little. “I was drunk and sleeping when those tablets were taken. By the time I realized what happened, it was too late. They were hidden in a different realm, but I have time. I will find them.” There’s a promise in his voice, a promise and a threat.
“I have no doubt you will,” I tell him, smiling like I will never doubt what he is capable of. Well, to be honest, I don’t, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. Not for me, at least.
He smiles sweetly at me, and I’m on high alert again. “You’re different this lifetime, my love. I think I love you more like this.” He rubs my thigh and I try not to flinch.
“What? Am I more pretty this time?” I wink at him.
Just play the role, Al, and you’ll be okay, I tell myself.
“Oh, no, you are always the most beautiful thing I own,” he says proudly, and my stomach twists. I’m not a fucking object. He throws his head back and laughs, and I gap at him, confused. Did I just say that out loud?
“Oh, how I love your temper. I knew I’d see the fire in your eyes when I said that.” He keeps laughing and I do my best to smile at him. “Like always, you still have that fire in you, but you’re more obedient in this life.” He smiles brightly and I want to slap him, but I sit still, not moving a muscle. “I see there is more color in your cheeks now. Maybe my being near is good for your health,” he adds, and pulls me down next to him.
I lift myself up and he frowns. “It’s better when I sit up. Laying down makes me feel sick.” I put my hand on my stomach like I’m about to vomit.
He twists his lips in distaste and stands up. “We need to get a healer or someone to look at that. I am a patient man, but even I don’t have that much patience,” he says seriously, and dread fills me. “I’ll let you rest today, but tomorrow you sleep in my bed,” he says sternly.
I nod my head like an idiot. What else can I do? There’s a commotion in front of my door and he frowns, taking long strides and flinging the door open. There is nothing, just the cyborgs standing guard in front of it and one of the women that brings me tea in the afternoon, but I think it’s too early for that. Like all the other servers around here, she is covered from head to toe, and when she sees Zack, she bows almost to the ground. My eyes are on the guards because they act and seem strange, like the armor they wear is not perfect, and it usually is every other time. The silver masks on their faces aren’t right, either. And not one of them moves or speaks.
He turns towards me. “I will go, my love. I have things to do, but I will see you tomorrow night.” He stares at me, and I show him as much warmth in my gaze as I can fake.
“I’m looking forward to it.” I smile, making my eyes crinkle.
“I sure hope so.” His burning stare may burn the dress off me, but somehow, I sit still. “I’ll tell you the rest of the story then,” he adds.
“What story?” I frown. I have no idea what he means.
“The story about the tablets,” he says as he takes a few steps. About to take a deep breath because he is finally leaving, he stops without turning, making me almost choke on the air. “And how you helped Anzu steal them from me.”
The breath stops in my throat as he closes the door behind him. Tomorrow night, I’ll be a dead witch, and that is something I know as well as I know my own name.
Well, fuck.
Chapter 22
The door opens and the serving lady walks in slowly, like she’s trying to do her best not to be seen. I know the feeling too well. She walks up to the small table, setting down the cup and pot gently.
“Thank you,” I say through numb lips.
She turns around, and instead of looking at me, she scans the room and starts walking out. They never talk to me. Maybe they think I’m as evil as their master. Tears start rolling down my face as I see the end of me in front of my eyes. The door opens, and as she is leaving, the guards come in to take their places. Now I know why I have guards.
The serving lady is still at the door when two more walk in, and I frown at them. I guess I’ll have more people watching me until tomorrow. He wants to make sure I don’t try to run. The door closes and we all stand still for a second, at least until one guard removes his mask. Like an avenging angel, Derik stands in front of me, two swords strapped to his back. I blink. I’m hallucinating. I have to be.
Next, the ladies pull their coverings off and step out from behind him, revealing Meda and Remi with determination set in the lines of their faces, and Jezzinta, who runs to me and flings herself on the bed.
“We need to go. Now!” says Derik, snapping me out of the shock to make me realize they are really here.
“Oh, dear Goddess, what are you guys doing here?” I raise my voice, then slap my hand on my mouth. The last thing I need is for someone to see them. “You have to go or we’re all dead!”
The other guard removes his mask too, and Philip smiles at me. They’re crazy. We’re all doomed now.
“I’m not going anywhere without you,” Derik says.
“You’ve lost your mind. He knows about the potions, I can bet my life on it, and I was just told the tablets got stolen because I helped. You all need to leave!” I start pushing Jezzinta towards the others in an attempt to make them leave. “How did you even get here?” No one can pass through the portal if he doesn’t allow it.
“We’ll tell you on the way. Now let’s move it! We don’t have much time.” Derik grabs my arm, and after a second of hesitation, I follow. They’re here anyway, and I know I’ll die tomorrow, so I might as well try to escape.
“Meda figured out how to open a new portal in this realm. It’s not really steady, but it does the job,” Jezzinta whispers next to me.
“I can’t believe all of you are stupid enough to risk your lives to come here,” I murmur, but I want to start crying from happiness. They came for me. “Do you even know where we’re going?” I ask Derik, who just turns to me and grins.
He looks different—like he’s lost a little weight maybe, but it’s hard to tell. He’s a large man with his wide shoulders and tall physique. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still the same Derik. He still has the same long hair tied with a leather strap at the base of his head and his five o’clock shadow is still in place, but there’s an intensity in his eyes that wasn’t there before. It’s like something has awakened in him while I was gone, and there’s an energy around him that screams of danger making me shiver, in a nice way.
Remi is first in line, and when we reach a corner in the hallway, she raises her hand for us to stop like we are a marine squad or something. It makes me want to laugh, but I’m trying not to even breathe right now.
Philip slides out from behind us and stands behind Remi, I guess to protect her, and I’m wondering if this is the end of our escape. We stand there too long for my liking. A guard comes from around the corner, and as I open my mouth to scream—don’t ask me why I thought that was a good idea—Derik grabs my mouth and Philip whacks the guard with the hilt of his dagger, one I don’t see until it is in sight.
He grabs the guard’s unconscious body and drags him behind the velvet curtain of the window across from us. I pull Derik’s hand from my mouth, his gaping making me think he expects me to scream—not far from the truth since I almost did. I hit him on his chest with the back of my hand and he smirks. I’ll tell him off about the smirking later, but only if we live.
We continue on our way, twisting left and right until we reach the hall with tapestries hanging on every free inch of the walls. I don’t like this hall. I’ve avoided it the entire time. Halfway through it, Remi stops and pulls one tapestry away to uncover a small arched, wooden door. Now I feel stupid for not searching for a way out. She opens it and we all walk through it one by one, with Philip holding guard. He comes through last and closes it behind him, then I finally take a deep breath.
“Are we safe here?” I whisper, and Remi just shakes her head. I guess I’m too optimistic.
Quietly we walk for who knows how long through moldy-smelling halls, my feet are squishing through mud in my sandals, but I don’t care as long as we get out of here. I hold my hand on Derik’s back so I know where I’m going. It’s getting darker the deeper we go, and eventually we come to a point where I can see nothing. Lifting one palm up, I finally call a small flame to at least let us see a little. Jezzinta is behind me, so as soon as the flame lights, everyone in front of me turns around with round eyes and Jezzinta grabs my hand, pushing it against the wall to extinguish it. That’s when I hear an angry, thunderous scream echoing so loud I think it can be heard through the entire realm.