by Maya Daniels
“Haqadosch,Berakha,Chaioth,Haquadosch,Auphalim,Aralim,Chasmalim,Seraphim,Malachim,Elohim,Beni-elohim,Kerubim,Ishim …
I summon ye and conjure ye, by the name of one true God, Alpha Omega, I am that I am,
Oh Lord who regards the abysses beneath,
Grant onto me thy grace, I beseech thee,
So that what I conceive in my mind I accomplish with my work, oh great Tiamat!”
Upon hearing her name, my heart stops for a second before it beats so fast and loud I think everyone can hear it, and I lift my eyes to see the snake dragon I now know is my archenemy staring at me still with those freaky pupils. I bend my knees, ready to jump and climb those disgusting walls so I can get to her and scratch her eyes out before I cut her up piece by piece and watch her die a slow, painful death.
Well, that’s what I want to do.
Inanna has a different plan because she takes complete charge of my body again, and I’m left screaming inside my own mind at the injustice of it all. She killed my grandmother, she took everything from me! I deserve to have revenge. I fucking demand to have it! Inanna is talking to me but I hear nothing besides a loud buzzing like I’m standing next to a huge generator.
My rage intensifies even more until I no longer care what she has to say. I want blood, damn it! I want to see the life extinguished from those reptilian eyes by my hand. It’s my right! The color red paints my mind, and an electrical charge so strong hits my body with so much force it stuns me for a few seconds. Then everything stops like someone presses pause. The buzzing disappears, and while I’m trying to get rid of the feeling, I’m thinking I can’t believe she zapped me like that. In the background, I hear the familiar voice finishing up the invocation.
“Find no solace in this binding, great Tiamat,
You are no longer among the stars,
Gather your power from the abyss,
And exercise it for my gain alone!”
I wait impatiently for the stunt to be over so I can continue my plan of attacking Tiamat, and I watch as one by one the cloaked monsters walk up to the red-cloaked figure. When they stop behind it, the figure turns sideways, flinging a lantern at them that they catch in their right hand, releasing a triumphant screech that makes my ears bleed. Frozen in place, I eye them one by one, thinking I’ll grab the lantern thrown at me and then attack the vile creature that calls itself a goddess. Well, that is if I can get my legs to move. There are only two monsters left in front of me now. As my turn comes, my legs take me where I need to stand, Inanna obviously still in full control, and I’m seething.
“You better release me, Mother! I will have my revenge!” I yell in my head.
She ignores me, a sad exhale coming from her. Screaming in my head, I spit profanities, threatening to kill myself so she won’t have a vessel, turning to dark magick, and selling my soul … everything I can think of just so she will let me have my way, but nothing is working. My body stands calmly waiting for the lantern, and no sound comes out. I stop my tantrum only because I realize it takes longer for the red cloak to throw the lantern. Why does it take longer?
As I’m about to start talking again to try to convince her to release my body back to me, the familiar voice speaks, and for the hundredth time, it’s like the universe stops in its track. Why can’t I place the voice? The dread comes back, and what’s worse, I feel the sorrow in Inanna at the same time I hear the words spoken that would kill me a million times in a heartbeat.
“I knew you’d come eventually, Alexia. I was waiting for the day you would show yourself in front of me.” The softly spoken words slice through me like a sharp blade. Holding my breath, all I can do is blink. Who the fuck is it?
“As I promised you, not even death can stop me from coming for you.” As those words are spoken, the figure turns and drops the cloak to the ground.
I can’t breathe. My heart shreds into a million pieces that will never be put together again. Betrayal, hurt, and pain mingle together to torment my hole of a heart while I stare at eyes I know so well. Angel, I called him. I harbored so much guilt for losing him, yet here he stands in all his glory, his cruel, dead eyes leering at me, gloating at my naivety and stupidity. My entire existence stops as I meet those eyes, a stranger’s eyes now, and before I pass out, I manage to utter one word like a curse.
“Derik?”
My body jerks and he lunges for me, his arms outstretched as shrieks fill the air from all the monsters around me.
I hear Inanna whisper softly, “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from this pain, love.”
My body crumbles towards the ground as dark spots dance in front of my eyes, and as I’m looking forward to the oblivion or death, my mind screams, Noooooo.
There is a sharp pain where his fingers connect to my skin when he tries to grab my forearm to hold me, but they pass through my body like I’m air. I realize too late that I’m being pulled out of the realm without saving my sisters, without avenging my grandmother, but I don’t care. I’m dead. I feel nothing. Even the anger is gone, and now I am the void.
Blissful nothingness fills me, and I evaporate while staring at Derik’s angry eyes. I hear myself laugh. What is he angry about? That he played me for a fool? Or that I didn’t stay long enough for him to destroy my body like he destroyed my soul? As the scene fades in front of me, I close my eyes.
Within seconds, my bed is under me. I swivel around to see if I pulled him here with me, but strong arms wrap around my shoulders and Lucifer’s eyes greet me. Seeing the worry and sadness there makes me want to slap him. They’re all liars, faking care and emotions they don’t feel. Pretending, wearing their masks to fool morons like me who carry their hearts on their sleeves, and all for their own entertainment. I stare at him numbly and wait to hear what line he’s going to feed me now. It better be good, because it’s keeping me present in this world by a thread. I can’t wait to let go and close my eyes forever. I’m done. They can all continue their game of chess without me. A pawn I am not, at least not anymore. He is still looking at me mutely, so I figure I’ll say one more thing before I let go.
“Save my sisters from Tomorith’s realm. Promise me!”
Not that I trust him, but his word is his binding. That much I know. I wonder how I managed to push Inanna out of my body. Or did she leave on her own when I died inside? No one wants to stick around a void, I guess.
“We will both save them, Alexia,” he says hoarsely, still staring at me with those eyes of his.
“No. I need you to promise! I have to go, Lucifer. If nothing was real, at least do this one thing for me. Promise me you’ll save my sisters,” I whisper. They’re so good at their games there’s no way I can tell if they’re faking. Because I’m a fool.
“Don’t you dare, Alexia. I will hunt you to the abyss and drag your ass back, do you hear me?” he growls through clenched teeth, and I want to laugh. Yeah, right! The great Lucifer gives a fuck if an insignificant creature like me hangs on or not. How didn’t I see this before now? Am I really that stupid?
“Promise me,” I repeat, waiting expectantly. I just need him to say it and I’ll go.
“Witch, if you let go, I swear to you by my own immortal existence I won’t just bring you back, but you’ll be indebted to me for it for eternity. You hear me?” He shakes me and I laugh. A dead laugh, but a laugh nonetheless.
“Promise,” I whisper again.
“It had to unravel like the Fates had it set, Alexia. I promise we will get through this. Just don’t let go. We will save them together. I will not leave your side. Look at me!”
I watch him, and it’s funny that staring into his eyes is not weird anymore. Well, I guess because my soul is dead I can’t be intimated anymore, which is an interesting sensation for sure.
“Promise!” I prompt him.
As I watch, one sparkling tear sneaks from the corner of his eye, traveling down his perfect face towards his chin. It’s fascinating. Can they cry on a whim while playing their mind games? Wel
l, he did say the word promise, so I’ll hold to that thought because I can’t hold on any longer. I’m tired. The guilt from the fact my grandmother died because of me, from my sisters getting hurt because of me … it’s just too much to bear. I just want to close my eyes. I can let go now.
I glance at him one more time and place my hand on his cheek. He leans into it and I smile. I almost believe it. Gentle, kind Lucifer. If I had the strength, I would’ve laughed. With a deep sigh, I smile at him as my eyes start closing.
“Goodbye,” I whisper, still smiling.
A roar like nothing I’ve ever heard before slices through my head. Power that can destroy galaxies slams into my body. It’s like I’m going to burst into a gazillion pieces and disappear. His fingers bite into my skin with such force that I hear bones snapping from the inside. Out of nowhere, he slams his mouth on mine and strong energy zaps me so hard my back bows off the bed. That’s the last thing I feel before my mind says What the fuck?
Then I’m out.
Chapter 9
I’ve always found the humans’ minds and their feeble attempts to fool themselves into believing they are good or bad fascinating. I cannot fathom the concept. There is righteousness, of course, but that is all. Maybe that’s why I find them intriguing. This curiosity of mine has cost me much, yet I cannot quench my thirst to understand them, especially the witch upstairs. What a fascinating creature. The corners of my mouth twitch while I’m trying not to smile. The old witch is peering at me through narrowed eyes.
“Something funny, Lucifer?”
“I do not see what can be funny, old woman. Why do you ask?” I cock my eyebrow at her and focus on her pale blue eyes. She’s old but there is so much life in them. She doesn’t drop her gaze. Good! I will need her help soon enough.
“I don’t know what you’re playing at, angel, but I can tell you that if she gets hurt in any way, I’ll be sure to make your existence as miserable as possible.”
Throwing my head back, I laugh. I have not had this much fun for a very long time. It’s stupid to assume one can play games with entities such as me, although many have tried, mortal and immortal alike. Suffice it to say, it didn’t end well for either kind. It’s a good thing they’re so stuck in their puny minds with their polarities, egotistic creatures that they are.
Well, not all of them, no. The witch upstairs is different. That’s what got me to start paying attention a long time ago, but she never lived long enough for me to figure her out. Like her precious water, she slipped through my fingers in each of her lifetimes—but not this time. I’m determined. I will figure out this piece of the puzzle that is called Alexia Semiramis. The Gift of the Sea is in my hands now and I’m not wasting this chance. Not this time.
I stop laughing and cock my head to the side, feeling the subtle ripples in the energies around this forsaken realm. “Ah! She travels!” I tell the old witch with a smile. Daisy, her name is.
“What?” She frowns.
“Your witch just entered the astral realms,” I tell her, my words making her face go pale. I smirk. They are such weak creatures, scared of their own shadows no matter how brave some appear to be. Pathetic.
“We have to wake her up. She’s not strong enough to travel now. She just woke up!” She jumps up from the chair and heads towards the stairs.
“Stop!”
“I’m not stopping, angel, and I dare you to try to stop me yourself,” she says angrily over her shoulder while bustling forward. I wonder if it’s courage or just stupidity.
I flick my wrist and she freezes in her spot. “Is this better, old woman?”
“Lucifer, I know you can’t understand this as much as you try, but you will soon enough. I saw it earlier in your eyes. I beg of you, let me go wake her up. She is not strong enough. She needs a bit more time. I know all about her path in this lifetime. This is the game changer, and you will be grateful you let me help in the long run, trust me. You will regret it if you don’t stop it now, and for her sake, I would hate to say I told you so when you ask for my help.”
I narrow my eyes at the old woman, but she’s looking at me calmly now, like we’re discussing the weather. A moment ago she was threatening me, and now it’s like a different human standing frozen in the spot. This is what I find so fascinating about them.
Then her words hit me like lightning, and I get an uneasy gnawing in my stomach. Me! She made me feel this and I want to lash out at her, but her words swirl in my head. I know she has a point. The witch upstairs is playing with my head and I’m trying to understand it, but I cannot. She does and says things that give me these foreign sensations I don’t understand, and she leaves me to wonder if something is changing in me or if it’s this damn realm.
Like her earlier comment when she forgot I was present. Why do I care if she notices me or not? My presence here is to figure out the puzzle that is her, not to care if she knows I’m here. Yet the tightening in my stomach tells me her words stir up something in me. It’s my curiosity. It has to be.
And my powers going out of control when she collapsed in my arms three months ago was just anger from thinking she’ll try to slip away from me again before I figure her out. Yes. That is the truth of the situation. I am more at peace now, so I can speak.
“The Fates set things in motion and the web needs to unravel itself as it should. Not even I dare interfere with it, woman. My place is to sit and observe, nothing more. The worthy find their way through the trials the Fates set on their path. The unworthy have more lifetimes to go until they learn. The spiral keeps circling. We do not stop the process.”
“You’re blind, angel, but I can’t change your mind without saying too much and bringing things on her head that I can’t predict to help her. Remember my words. You will soon regret this. She is neither mentally nor emotionally strong enough at the moment to travel through astral realms. Release me. I will not wake her. I promise.” She shakes her head sadly and tears shimmer in her eyes. “Poor child …” she whispers at the end.
I feel uneasy at this, but I let her go absentmindedly while my mind races with the implications of her words. What does she mean? How will I regret this? This is not about me, it’s about the witch. The old woman doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
I turn around, pick up the cup of tea she made for me, and lose myself in my own thoughts. Ignoring this old woman is my best course of action. She is not nearly as entertaining as Alexia, anyway. I cannot wait until she leaves. My stomach tightens but I force it away. It is not my place to interfere with the web of life. I learned that lesson the hard way. Now humans scare their children with my name because of it. Stupid creatures, no matter how fascinating they are.
“I did help her prepare to go save her family, did I not? Even if I thought at one point it was useless and she’s too broken.” I find myself speaking, and my words make me ponder my own stupidity. This realm is affecting me. I need to leave this place very soon.
“She is not like any other human, Lucifer, and you know this. That is the reason you are here now.” Daisy speaks clearly but with tiredness in her voice.
I watch her slowly walk back to the table and sit. She grabs the mug of tea in a white-knuckled grip and the tightness in my stomach returns. The old woman is more disturbed now than when she found her precious Alexia unconscious and bleeding three months ago. I’m starting to wonder if there is more to her than I previously assumed. Does she know something I do not? I narrow my eyes at her. As impossible as it sounds, something tells me she does and I’m determined to find out.
“Of course, she is not. She is a witch, is she not? That hardly makes her human, no matter how much she looks like one.” I wave my hand in the air nonchalantly.
“Keep telling yourself that’s why she’s different,” she says angrily.
“Do share your wisdom, oh great witch, and enlighten poor old me.”
“Don’t mock me, Lucifer. If you weren’t so arrogant and concerned about your own agendas, you’d see
for yourself what is right in front of your face. There are bigger players than you involved this time, and unless you get your head out of your ass, you’ll play right into their hands!” she snaps.
Her eyes go round as she slaps a hand over her mouth. It’s too late, though. The words are out, and she has my full attention now. Too bad if she thinks I’ll let it pass because she might get in trouble.
Slowly, I rise from my seat and tower over her. Now I’m angry. The thought of someone using me as a player for their own gain makes my blood boil, and I can only imagine what she sees when she shrinks back in her chair as if that will calm me. My whole body is shaking, and I know I would probably scare myself if I glanced in a mirror but I couldn’t care less. My power surges wildly around me and loud thunder crashes somewhere in the distance, but I’m focused on the old woman in front of me.
I growl through clenched teeth. “Speak!”
Squeezing out that one word, I breathe through my nose in a poor attempt to calm down. If I scare her more, I’m afraid she’ll have a heart attack and die, which will do me no good in finding out what is going on.
She only shakes her head, so hard her neatly-tied hair flies around her face. She is even paler now than when she tried to go wake Alexia. The uneasiness in the pit of my stomach doubles. I want to grab her and squeeze her neck until she speaks but it will do me no good, so I clench my hands and breathe, pushing my power back to allow me to speak. A few moments later, the air that enters my lungs comes in easier, so I try to relax my muscles and slowly sit. Maybe that will calm the old woman a little. I wiggle my head as if to clear my anger.