Once the kitchen was clean, they started The Empire Strikes Back, but only got halfway through before pausing to watch the ball drop in New York. Afterward, they made the mistake of flipping around the channels, distracted by fireworks shows from various parts of the globe where it was already 2015. By the time they remembered they were on a movie-viewing schedule, they’d run out of time to watch the third movie—as, they agreed, they were probably always going to do. They finished The Empire Strikes Back and turned the TV to local coverage, chatting amongst themselves as the newscasters interviewed the crowd assembled at the Space Needle down the hill from Emma’s street.
“Hey,” Dani said at one point, “we could always go down to Seattle Center and ring in the new year with the masses. What do you guys think?”
Jamie noticed Derek looking almost panicked at his girlfriend’s suggestion. Which was weird, but who was she to judge other people’s irrational fears? Then again, navigating a crowd of drunken strangers wasn’t exactly her thing, either.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Isn’t Seattle Center more for people from the suburbs?”
Dani tossed her long hair, nearly hitting Derek in the face. “Fine. It was only a thought.”
Beyond her, Derek nodded slightly at Jamie as if she had done him a solid. Weird again. She would have to remember to ask him about it later.
Shortly before midnight, they bundled up in fleece and scarves and went out on the balcony to enjoy the cool, clear weather as the countdown to 2015 continued. Emma played the TV through her blue tooth speakers so that they would be able to hear the music accompanying the fireworks. As the clock ticked down, Jamie thought of her parents and the Millers holding down the same square of waterfront park in San Francisco, Becca and Rhea with them because Rhea wasn’t going to let something like being absurdly pregnant make them miss a time-honored family tradition despite Becca’s worry that someone might bump into her and hurt her and/or the babies. Jamie missed being there with them, but at the same time she was thrilled to be here in Seattle with Emma, leaning against her balcony railing arm in arm watching the lights flickering across the city, waiting for the clock to strike midnight so that they could celebrate the end of one year and the beginning of another where they should be: together.
And then the TV announcer was shouting out the final countdown, and the lights along the base of the Space Needle were going off in time to the chant, and she thought she could almost hear the crowd below in Kerry Park shouting, “…Three, two, one, midnight!” as the top of the Space Needle lit up all aglow and the first fireworks shot up into the dark sky, heralding the start of a brand new year.
Emma turned to her, smiling. “Happy New Year!” she said, voice surprisingly clear given how much she’d had to drink.
Jamie, who had changed to water hours earlier, smiled back. “Happy New Year,” she echoed, and then leaned in for a slow, sweet kiss, fireworks lighting up against her closed eyelids.
“I love you,” Emma murmured against her lips.
“I love you too.”
They stayed like that, hands interlaced and foreheads touching, until Emma’s eyes widened and she reached to turn down the speakers. Jamie turned to see Derek down on one knee holding out a ring box to Dani, who stared at him almost aghast, one hand over her mouth.
“Danielle Marie Romano,” he said, his voice warm and rich, “I love you more than I ever thought I would love another human being. When I think of my future now, I see you beside me every step, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Will you do me the honor of spending the rest of your life with me?”
There was a pause, longer than Jamie thought any of them expected, and then Dani nodded. “Yes,” she said, smiling at last as she reached for his hands and pulled him to his feet. “Yes! Derek, yes, of course!”
As Dani slipped on the ring and kissed her boyfriend—fiancé—Jamie glanced at Emma, who she found watching her with an unreadable expression that Jamie thought, actually, she knew exactly how to read.
A wave of adrenaline washed over her, and she pictured herself kneeling in front of Emma, holding out a box with a ring inside engraved with a phrase she had never forgotten, even if the piece of jewelry that had contained it was long since lost: “I’ll be your anchor if you’ll be mine.” This time her initials would come first and Emma’s second. Or maybe it would be Emma who proposed to her, because how did you decide who asked whom when there were two brides or two grooms? That was another thing about being queer—you got to make up the rules as you went along.
Another explosion rocked the Space Needle, red and blue and white lights seemingly falling all around it, and Jamie blinked away the remnants of her daydream. This wasn’t the right time to think about proposing. They hadn’t even been together for a year yet, and the honeymoon was still going strong. Better to wait and see how they handled the hills and valleys that undoubtedly lay ahead before making a decision about their future.
Even as the rational part of her brain recited this argument, Jamie knew in her heart that for her, Emma was it. She just wasn’t entirely sure what lay in Emma’s heart. She knew Emma loved her and in theory wanted a future together. But Emma still kept secrets, still insisted on holding parts of herself carefully separate. And even though Jamie wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, she couldn’t help worrying.
“Did you know about this?” Dani demanded. She had left Derek’s side and was gripping Emma’s shoulders now, almost shaking her in her excitement.
“No, I swear!” Emma laughed giddily as she hugged her best friend. “I’m so happy for you guys!”
“You’ll be my maid of honor, won’t you?” Dani was practically jumping up and down, Emma still in her arms.
“I would love to! You’re getting married, Dan!”
“I’m getting married!”
Jamie slugged Derek on the shoulder. “Congrats, man.”
“Thanks,” Derek said, and gave her a bro hug, a relieved smile on his face. “I owe you big time, by the way. If we had gone down to Seattle Center, I would have had to come up with a whole new plan. There’s a ton of pressure on the proposal. Have you seen all the videos on YouTube?”
“Can’t say I have, but happy to help.” She squeezed his side, glad she wouldn’t have to deal with proposal pressure of her own anytime soon.
They stayed outside to watch the rest of the fireworks over the waterfront, music playing on the blue tooth speakers in time to the light show overhead. Jamie positioned herself behind Emma, who leaned back against her, hugging Jamie’s arms to her chest. As Derek and Dani did the same, Jamie tried to burn the moment into her brain, to make a memory that would stick in her mind’s twisting, complex pathways. A memory that, she hoped, would symbolize the start of a new life for a new year.
Except that this particular new life already had deep roots that had, she was almost certain, been there for years in the recesses of her brain, waiting for the chance to emerge again.
#
The sound was irritating, but familiar. Emma’s alarm. Or her phone. Or the alarm on her phone.
Jamie nudged Emma in the ribs. “Your phone,” she muttered, opening an eye to check the clock on the bedside table. Ten-thirty. So not that early after all. “Em, it’s your phone.”
“Five more minutes,” Emma groaned, and rolled over to go back to sleep.
“No, babe, your phone is ringing.” Nothing. “You have to answer it.” Still nothing. Sighing, Jamie reached across her and checked the caller ID. Oh, shit! She dropped the phone, wincing as it landed on Emma’s back and she yelped. “It’s Jo. Dude, answer it!”
Within seconds Emma was sitting up in bed, phone to her ear as she rubbed her eyes and said, voice unfairly cool and collected, “This is Emma.”
Jamie was close enough she could hear Jo say, “Emma! Happy New Year. Hope I’m not calling too early?”
“Not at all,” Emma said, giving Jamie a look that said otherwise.
“Good. Well, I just w
anted to confirm that you’re available for January camp. It starts next Monday and goes through the twenty-fifth this year. I know it’s longer than usual, but we have a lot of work to do.”
“I’ll be there,” Emma said, running her free hand over the red tartan comforter cover they’d picked out together at the Williams Sonoma Home store in the U District. Emma may have paid, but Jamie still considered it their first major joint purchase.
“Great,” Jo said. “I’ll let you go then. I hope you’re looking forward to 2015 as much as I am.”
“Absolutely. Happy New Year, Coach.” She hung up and tossed her phone to the foot of the bed.
“January camp, huh,” Jamie said when Emma lay back down beside her.
Emma ran her fingers over the Sanskrit tattoo on her right bicep. “I think you mean ‘Death Camp,’ don’t you?”
Jamie was still chuckling when her own phone rang. Immediately her laughter died out, and she sucked in a breath as she read the caller ID: Jolene Nichols.
“Your turn,” Emma said, her voice soft. “You got this, Jamie.”
“Right. Okay.” This was it. This phone call could determine the course of her future with the national team. Did she have to answer it? Maybe she didn’t. Maybe she could… Before the thought could coalesce, she hit the call button, holding tightly to Emma. “Hello?”
“Jamie? It’s Jo Nichols. Happy New Year, kiddo.”
She couldn’t prevent the tremor in her voice as she answered, “Thanks, Coach. You, too.” She bit her lip, waiting. Would she be invited to camp, or was Jo calling to let her down easy, to tell her that the coaching staff had decided to go in—ugh—a different direction?
“As you know,” Jo said, “January camp starts next week. I’m calling to let you know that we appreciated all of your hard work last year and would like you to join us to start out the new year. What do you say?”
“Yes!” she exclaimed, and then gave Emma an apologetic look. Her girlfriend only smiled and hugged her tighter.
“Wonderful. We’ll add you to the confirmed list. Here’s the thing, Jamie,” Jo added, her voice dipping lower. “We’re hoping to have the World Cup roster mostly figured out by the end of the month. As you know, you are one of a handful of players who are solidly on the bubble right now. So I need you to start 2015 the way you ended 2014. I need you to show us why we couldn’t possibly think of leaving you off that roster. Can you do that? Can you come to California prepared to give the next few weeks your all?”
“Yes, ma’am!” she practically shouted, lowering her voice as Emma flinched beside her. “I mean, I’ll try, Coach.”
“Good,” Jo said. “Then I’ll see you soon. Enjoy the next few days, Jamie. It’s probably the last bit of rest you’re going to get for quite some time.”
“I will,” she promised. In her mind, she didn’t only intend her reply to mean that yes, she would enjoy the next few days. She also meant it as an affirmation of the hard work ahead, of the trials she would endure, of her willingness to accept the challenge Jo was offering.
Somehow, she suspected Jo understood.
“I’m rooting for you, Jamie,” she said before they hung up. “Don’t let me down.”
“I won’t.”
Emma was shaking her head as she set her phone down, and Jamie glanced up at her. “What?”
“That woman loves the shit out of you,” Emma said, and pressed forward to kiss the corner of her mouth. “I mean, I totally get why.”
“Oh,” Jamie said, feeling her cheeks turn pink. “Well, I have known her for a while…”
“Almost as long as you’ve known me.” Emma hesitated, staring at her intently, and Jamie had the feeling she was about to say something important, something that could change both of their lives. But then she blinked, kissed Jamie again, and started to slide out of bed.
“I’m thirsty,” she announced, pulling on the robe her mother had given her, purple with tiny Minnesota Vikings helmets all over it. When Jamie had asked her why she, a staunch Seahawks fan, had kept what was obviously a gag gift, Emma had admitted it was the comfiest item of clothing she’d ever owned. So, for now, it stayed.
In the doorway, she paused. “Want to go for a quick run? You know, to get the blood flowing?”
Jamie smiled. “Sounds perfect.”
“Coolers.” Emma started to turn away, but then she stopped again, a smile warming her eyes. “Happy New Year, James.”
“Happy New Year, Em.”
She watched Emma disappear into the hall, and then she stretched, contracting the muscles in her back and shoulders all at once and releasing them again. Emma might be the psychic one in this relationship, but Jamie had a feeling 2015 would be amazing. On the relationship front, she and Emma were steadily building a future together; Dani and Derek had a wedding to plan; Ty and Bridget were actually getting married; and Ellie and Jodie would have to someday pony up and tie their own knot. On the entertainment front, Pitch Perfect 2 was set to open in mid-May and The Force Awakens was coming out at the end of the year. Oh, and there was that whole soccer thing happening up in Canada, too—the one Jo Nichols had just told her she had a shot at playing in.
She closed her eyes and lay back in Emma’s bed, murmuring her mantra to calm the suddenly crazy, hopped-up beat of her heart. But it was no use. The familiar words had no impact on her nervous system.
After a moment she gave up, kicked off the comforter cover, and jumped out of bed to face the first day of the newest year. We got this, she told herself as she reached for one of Emma’s hoodies.
We got this.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kate Christie lives with her family near Seattle. A graduate of Smith College and Western Washington University, she has played soccer most of her life and counts the 2015 World Cup finals game in Vancouver as one of her top five Favorite. Days. Ever.
To find out more about Kate, or to read excerpts from her other titles from Second Growth Books and Bella Books, please visit www.katejchristie.com. Or visit her blog at katechristie.wordpress.com where she occasionally finds time to wax unpoetically about lesbian life, fiction, and motherhood.
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