by Kelly Oram
She opened her mouth, shaking her head, but I cut her off before she could yell at me again. “You’re right. You don’t know me. But you know them.” I waved my hand around the circle. “They’re your friends. You’ve trusted them for years. Do you think they would lie to you? Or hurt you on purpose if they didn’t feel it necessary? You have a whole group of people here who care about you and want you to be happy. You should listen to them.”
“Please,” Avery whispered. She sat up out of Aiden’s embrace but threaded her fingers in his as she looked at Libby. “Libby, I love you so much. I will never cut ties with you. Never. I won’t give up on you. But if you don’t acknowledge that you have a problem and agree to let us help you tonight, then I’ll be forced to go over your head. I’ll go to your parents and explain your relationship with Owen to them. I’ll show them the letters your friends have written. I will recommend to your parents that you might need counseling. I will talk to Owen and ask him not to see you anymore. I’ve spoken with Grayson, and we’ve both agreed not to hang out with the two of you together anymore. Nor are you allowed to go up with me when I visit Grayson at school, and Grayson won’t bring Owen down here, either. We are no longer going to aid your addiction to Owen Jackson in any way. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, but I hope you understand and choose to forgive me.”
Avery stood then, and as she collected all the letters her friends had written and placed them in her backpack, Libby turned to the one person who’d stayed silent. I was very curious to see where this was going to go. I’d never been able to figure out Aiden Kennedy. He was Avery’s best friend and Grayson’s younger brother. He seemed like a good guy, and he was accepted in Avery and Libby’s circle of friends, but he was still somewhat of an outsider. Avery was the only person in the group completely comfortable with him, and he with her.
His interaction with everyone else always seemed careful somehow, or brittle. It was the worst with Libby. There was real friction there. They both did a good job ignoring it—I think for Avery’s sake—but it was clear to me that they didn’t like each other. At first I was surprised when he’d shown up tonight, until I saw how he’d been with Avery. She had needed him here.
“What,” Libby asked Aiden, with enough hostility to start World War III, “No Libby sucks letter from you?”
Aiden didn’t react to her antagonism. “I don’t really care what you do to yourself. I’m here for Avery. But I also have no right to judge you. I went psychotic over a relationship once, too.”
Libby bristled. “Do not compare my mistake this weekend to your epic brain fart last year.”
The Great Aiden/Avery Fallout. I heard the story not long after Avery started working at Jo’s, but I had a hard time understanding it. Avery and Grayson both spoke about it as if it were up there in awfulness with the Holocaust. But Avery and Aiden are still so close, and she and Grayson are so right for each other that I can’t picture Avery ever being with anyone else. Especially not with Aiden, who is the exact opposite of his older brother. I guess it was just one of those had-to-be-there things.
“I’m sorry,” Aiden said, “but the similarities between your personality changes caused by your relationship with Owen, and my temporary lapse in sanity last year, thanks to Mindy, are noteworthy. I would also like to point out that my fall only lasted a few months. You’re pushing the year mark, with no end in sight.”
That set Libby off again. “Excuse me? I think not. My relationship with Owen is nothing like yours was with Mindy. You got a girlfriend and immediately turned into Sphincter Extraordinaire. You were a completely different person. I made one mistake. You are all completely overreacting.”
Aiden’s face flushed with rage and he lost all that calm control he’d had. “Wake up, Libby!” he shouted. “Missing the science fair wasn’t one mistake; it was the last straw! Take a look around you.” He gestured to the whole group. “None of your friends can stand you anymore. They’re only sitting here right now because Avery asked them to come.”
Libby glanced at the rest of the group, seeking confirmation to Aiden’s statement. Brandon shook his head. “That’s not true. We came for you, Libby, like we said. We still care about you. We just can’t watch you do this to yourself anymore.”
Libby continued to stare at her friends. “Maybe I’ve changed a little this year,” she said, “and you’re right; I haven’t been the greatest friend. I get that I’ve screwed up, but you can’t seriously want me to give up Owen. I love him.”
I barely resisted the urge to shake some sense into her. Wanting to hook up with him, I could understand—Owen made the rest of us guys look ugly—but how could she possibly love the jerk? He treated her like garbage. Didn’t she know that? Hadn’t she ever been in a relationship where she was treated with respect? Had a real boyfriend who loved her the way she deserved?
“You don’t love him,” Avery insisted, which made me feel better. “You’re addicted to him. You’re in lust with him. You’re obsessed with him. He’s like a drug for you. He makes you feel good in the moment, but he’s ruining you. He’s not good for you, and you can do so much better.”
Libby finally got emotional instead of just angry. “No, I can’t!” She stopped when her voice broke. She didn’t cry, but I knew she was close. “You can tell me how awesome I am all you want, but the facts don’t lie. I am fat. If guys take notice of me, it’s to tease me or put me down. No one has ever liked me in that way before. Owen may not be as perfect as Grayson, but at least he wants me. He’s attracted to me. That’s better than nothing.”
For the first time since the intervention started, I felt sorry for Libby. I hated what she was doing to herself, but I could understand why she did it. She was lonely. She was desperate. She honestly believed no one would ever love her the right way. I knew what it felt like to believe that you weren’t worthy of being loved. I understood all too well the abuse people put up with because they’re starved for affection. I’d been there.
I couldn’t be angry with Libby anymore for choosing to stay with Owen, but I became even more desperate for her to see the truth. Even if she was right, and no one else ever did love her, nothing was better than staying with someone who constantly hurt you. Sometimes you had to walk away, even if you didn’t want to, even if you truly loved the person you were walking away from. Libby needed to walk away, before she ended up like me.
She stopped yelling at Avery and turned back to the rest of the group. “I’m sorry I’ve hurt you guys. I didn’t realize I was doing it, and I promise I will start being a better friend, but I’m not going to give up Owen. You can’t ask me to do that.”
The group sat in silence for a minute as they each decided their next course of action. Brandon was the first to move. “That’s your final decision, then?” he asked.
Libby huffed. “Of course it is.”
Brandon’s face fell and he shook his head. “Then I have to stick to my promise. I’m sorry, Libby.”
When Brandon got up to leave, Libby jumped to her feet. “That’s it? You’re just done being my friend?”
Brandon met her gaze with disappointment. “It wasn’t the outcome I wanted, Libby, but yes. I am done. Unless you change, I can’t do it anymore.”
Like I said, sometimes you have to walk away.
Brandon walked out the door without looking back. Libby watched him go until she could no longer see him, and when she turned around, Levi, Tara, and Aiden were standing as well. “We’re sorry, Libby,” Levi said.
Tara sniffled and looked at her feet as she whispered, “Call us if you change your mind.”
Levi wrapped his arm around Tara and walked her out of the building. Aiden lingered a moment. “As acting copresidents of the science club, the squad asked Avery and me to make it official if you refused them tonight,” he said. “You’re out of science club. I’ve already talked to Mr. Walden about it. He agreed that since you missed the science fair, if the club voted, he would support their decision. You’re not w
elcome back for the rest of the year, and you won’t get your cords for four years of participation at graduation.”
I was surprised when Aiden managed to look sincerely regretful. His quiet “I’m sorry, Libby,” came from the heart. He turned to Avery then, who had tears in her eyes again, and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry it didn’t work. You want me to stick around?”
Avery squeezed his hand but shook her head. “I’d like to talk to her alone.”
“Okay. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
Aiden left, leaving Avery and Libby standing there alone. Avery glanced in my direction. I tried to look encouraging, but I don’t know if I succeeded. When Libby looked my way, I backed away. “I’ve got to finish closing up. You guys take your time.”
“Thanks, Adam,” Avery whispered.
I headed behind the counter to begin counting my till, when Libby exploded again. “I can’t believe you, Avery!”
Avery started to cry. “Libby, please. Why would you choose Owen over all of your friends? He’s a jerk. He doesn’t love you, but I do. Levi, Tara, and Brandon—we all love you. Why would you throw that away for someone who doesn’t care about you?”
“Because you’re wrong. Maybe Owen doesn’t love me the way Grayson loves you, but he does care about me, and I care about him.”
“Are you an idiot? He doesn’t give a shit about you!” I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud until Avery and Libby both whirled around to gawk at me.
Libby stomped over to me, red-faced and shaking with fury. “I’ve had it with you, Coffee Man! Stay out of my business! You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about my relationship with Owen.”
I knew I should keep my mouth shut. I told myself to walk away right then and there, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Libby was hurting Avery, and she was hurting herself. “I know you’ve been dating him for a year, and he won’t even admit you’re in a relationship. He lied to Avery and Grayson about you. He doesn’t even like to be seen with you in public.”
Libby flinched, and I knew I’d hit the nail right on the head. I was so frustrated that I raked my hands through my hair and said, “How can you not see that your boyfriend treats you like a cheap hooker? You’re nothing but an easy score to him.”
Libby’s eyes snapped wide open. That was the only warning I got before she smacked her palm across the side of my face. As she stormed out of the store, I put my hand to my stinging cheek—the girl had quite a slap.
It wasn’t until the door slammed shut, rattling the walls and shaking the lights hanging from the ceiling, that I came back from my stupor and realized just how badly I screwed up. Only Avery and I were left in the store, and she was gaping at me in shock. I cursed under my breath and tried not to panic as I apologized. “I’m sorry. The intervention thing was harder than I expected it to be. Everything just hit a little too close to home, and I couldn’t stand the thought of her staying with that guy. Avery, I am so sorry.”
Avery dabbed at her eyes with a napkin, and then shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve wanted to say all of that to her for so long now, but I could never bring myself to do it. Thank you, Adam, for doing what I couldn’t.”
Once again, I was completely bewildered by the tiny girl standing in front of me. “You’re thanking me for being a giant gluteus maximus to your best friend?”
Avery finally smiled. “Yes. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, and she needed to hear it. I know you were only trying to help.”
Sure. Fat lot of help I was. Libby was probably off making plans for her next hookup right now. Avery guessed my thoughts and surprised me with a big hug. The way she squeezed me, I could tell she needed the comfort as much as I did. “You did everything you could,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
I couldn’t respond. The same hopelessness I’d gone through when I failed to help my mom swept over me. Libby might have needed a reality check, but I felt bad for being the one to deliver it. Avery’s understanding smile made me feel even worse. “I guess it was a bad idea to ask for your help,” she said, after she finally let go of me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize this would be so hard for you.”
I shook my head. “I was happy to help. I just didn’t expect to be quite so sensitive to it.” Of course, if it hadn’t been Libby Garrett choosing to keep hurting herself, I wouldn’t have lost my cool like that. “I’m sorry it didn’t work.”
Avery grabbed her coat and her keys off the counter and turned to me with a small smile. “I haven’t lost hope yet. Libby’s stubborn, but she’s also smart. She might not have admitted to having a problem tonight, but she listened. She just needs time to process. She’ll come around in her own time, and on her own terms.”
I really hoped so, otherwise I was going to end up going to prison for murder the next time I saw Owen.
Libby
Friends suck, and my friends sucked the most of all. They were serious about cutting ties with me. They weren’t speaking to me. All week long at school, it was as if I didn’t exist. Only Avery gave me the time of day, but I was still so mad at her that I wasn’t speaking to her.
By Friday, I was in such a bad mood that I decided the entire world would be safer if I didn’t go to school. After stomping into the kitchen where my parents were both up and eating breakfast, I said, “I’m taking a mental health day. One of you needs to call the school,” and went back to bed without giving them the chance to argue.
My parents are pretty cool. My dad is a professional snowboarder, and my mom was his high school sweetheart. They’ve been together since they were sixteen. Mom became an EMT after cleaning enough of Dad’s scrapes and dragging him off to the ER for concussions and stitches when they were in high school.
They’re super active, super healthy, work-hard-and-play-harder types. The phrases “Go for the gold,” “The world is your oyster,” and “You can do anything if you put your mind to it” are basically their mottos. They encourage me to be myself, and to figure out what I love, and then go for it. They push me to always do the best I can at whatever I try.
Usually when I was having trouble—or when I was in trouble—they each had their own role to play as far as the parenting responsibilities went. Mom handled all the “talks,” and Dad did the cheering up—usually by taking me out to do something fun to get my mind off of things. I must have looked pretty bad this morning, though, because they came to me together. “We called the school for you,” Mom said.
Dad followed that up with, “You can play hooky today, but only if you play with us. Grab your gear. We’re headed up to the mountain in fifteen minutes.”
A day on the slopes with my dad sounded like heaven after the week I’d had, but I was surprised by the offer. “I thought you’d want to do some serious practicing today.”
It was mid April; ski season was pretty much over. Tomorrow was my dad’s last competition of the year.
Dad grinned. “Are you saying you can’t keep up with me?”
Blast him! He knew I’d never be able to say no to that. I could never in a million years beat my father in a real competition—be it snowboarding, freeboarding, or skateboarding—but I can’t ever resist trying. Not even when I hate the world as much as I hated it this week.
My parents didn’t say one word about my skipping school all day. I knew they wouldn’t. They’ve always been good about giving me space when I need it. They simply asked if I was okay, and when I told them I didn’t want to talk about it, they reminded me that they were there if I needed them, and spent the rest of the day trying to make me laugh. It was exactly what I needed from them. We laughed, joked, raced each other—I continually got creamed by Dad, though I could usually beat Mom—and talked about all of our plans for the future.
I was planning to go to UVU in the fall as a math major, and my parents were about to open a board shop in Spanish Fork. Dad was turning thirty-six this year—yes, my parents had me when they were seventeen—and retiring from his p
ro-boarding career. He claimed he was quitting because he was an old man and couldn’t keep up with all those younger guys on the slopes anymore, but I think he was just finally ready for his life to slow down a little. Mom was going to quit her EMT job and run the shop with him. It was going to be a huge adjustment for all of us.
“You know you’re going to miss this next year,” I teased him as we sat at dinner that night.
“A little,” my dad admitted, “but not as much as I’m going to miss you. Promise you’ll come home every now and then and go snowboarding with your old man?”
“And I’ll still need someone to go see all the good movies with me,” Mom added.
I laughed at that. My mom loved the romantic movies like I did, but Dad didn’t have the patience to watch anything unless there were explosions happening every five minutes. “You guys sound like I’m planning to move to Europe. UVU is twenty minutes from here.”
“But we already hardly ever see you, and next year you’ll be in the dorms with Avery,” Mom argued, guilt-tripping me with a sad pout. “Between classes and a social life, you’re not going to have any time to come home and hang out with your parents.”
“Especially now that I’m going to be a lame old retired man,” Dad said.
He laughed, but I could hear the insecurity in his voice. He’d always prided himself on being the cool dad. “You’ll still own a board shop, Dad. That’s all kinds of awesome. Plus, I’m going to be a starving college student next year. I’ll be completely broke. If you wanted to, say, I don’t know…pay for my season pass next winter, then I’d be obligated to hit the mountain with you as often as I could.”
Dad turned to Mom, laughing. “She’s already hitting us up for money, and she’s not even living on her own yet. Should we be worried?”
“Hey!” I protested. “You were the one complaining that I won’t have any time to see you next year. I was just trying to be helpful.”