by Carl Weber
“Will you just shut the fuck up? She’s dead! We just buried what was left of her!” Tears were streaming down my face as I stood up and started pacing to release some pent-up energy.
“I’m just saying, what if—”
And that’s when I lost it. It was too much for me to handle any longer. I threw my glass of whiskey across the room and watched it smash against the wall; then I headed into the kitchen and flipped over the table. It was as if the entire world went black as I grabbed whatever I could find and demolished it. I wanted to destroy anything I could get my hands on, the same way my world had been destroyed when my mother went missing.
CRASH!
The sound was so loud that it caused the entire house to shake, and I blinked, suddenly realizing where I was. I looked over to see my family standing in the doorway and the refrigerator overturned. No one moved. They all stood there, staring at the damage I had caused. In addition to the flipped fridge, there were broken dishes, silverware, and pots and pans everywhere. I had destroyed the kitchen, but I had barely any recollection of doing it. My shirt had come undone, and my face was soaked with sweat and tears.
I felt Chippy’s hand on my arm. “Baby, listen . . .”
“No, that’s the problem. I’m tired of listening to this bullshit he keeps saying.” I brushed her away and walked past her into the living room. “Momma is gone. We buried her and laid her to rest today. Now, everyone leave it fucking be.”
“I can’t and I won’t. Not until I find out the truth for myself. We ain’t even have a body. Just an arm, thanks to you and the mighty State Police.” Lou’s voice was louder and more aggressive now as he came to stand right in front of me. He was pushing it and he knew it.
“Fuck you, Lou!” I took a step back to keep myself from punching him in the face the way I wanted to.
“No, fuck you. And fuck you too for all your support, Larry!” He whirled around to face Larry. “You claim you love her so much. Why the big rush? We shoulda waited to bury her, but you wanted to have a service. You wanted closure.”
“You questioning my love for Momma?” Larry asked as he puffed out his chest and stepped toward Lou.
“I’m questioning everyone.” He looked around the room. “Seems like we all gave up pretty damn easy.”
“I think everyone needs to calm down. This has been a long, hard day,” Nee Nee said with a sigh as she went to pull Larry away from Lou. Larry shrugged her off.
“Y’all need to relax. None of you are thinking straight.” Shirley stepped in between us.
“I’m thinking fine. Shit, I’m thinking this thing out clearer than everybody else. LC, you’re supposed to be the brains of the damn family, remember, but it’s like the cops showed up and all of a sudden y’all were ready to believe whatever fucking story they gave you. Shit, you already know your cops can be bought and paid for, so who’s to say they ain’t been paid by someone else this time? I’m telling you, I’m right about this.” Lou pushed his way past Larry.
I was becoming more agitated by the minute, and I wasn’t alone. The more he talked, the tighter the room became. Anger, sorrow, frustration—my emotions were all over the place, jut like my thoughts.
“She’s dead, Lou!” I shouted, desperate for a way to shut him the hell up.
“Y’all can say whatever you want, but I’m never gonna believe Momma’s dead,” he shot back. “Do you hear me? Never!”
“Do you hear yourself?” I grabbed an ashtray and threw it against the wall.
“Calm down, LC. You’re upsetting your wife,” Larry warned me.
I glanced over my shoulder. “Oh, shit. Chippy, are you okay?”
She was inhaling and exhaling very slowly and deliberately, with a proteective hand placed over her big belly. “I’m okay.”
“Go get her some water!” Shirley commanded me, and I quickly headed to the kitchen, stepping over the mess I’d made in search of a glass I hadn’t broken.
I heard Larry speaking. “Damn, I didn’t expect this type of drama. I just wanted to give Momma a nice send-off.”
Nee Nee chimed in. “Having the memorial was the right thing to do so Miss Bettie could rest in peace, right beside her husband. All y’all’s parents are finally together.”
“Unh-uh. Believe what you want, but I know what I feel, and my momma is still alive.” Lou’s stubborn ass just would not give it up.
“I’m done,” I said, coming back into the living room without even getting the water.
“I know, baby.” Chippy came face to face with me, using the sleeve of her dress to wipe my face.
“No, I’m done. There’s nothing else to talk about. We’re leaving.” I took my wife’s hand and headed for the door.
“Look, LC, I’ll shut up,” Lou said, finally willing to change the subject. “We haven’t finished discussing all the business—“
“Fuck whatever other business you wanna discuss. I’m done, and we’re leaving for good.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Larry asked.
I stared into my wife’s eyes as I made my announcement. “I love you guys, but I’m done with Waycross. There’s nothing left here for me now that Momma’s gone. Y’all always knew I planned on leaving one day. So me and mine, we’re moving to Atlanta.”
Donna
9
To say that I was tired and hungry was an understatement. I had been working double shifts for the past week and a half and just picked up another shift on my day off. Although I was exhausted, I enjoyed working. Not only did I make decent tips, but it kept me busy and kept my mind off the past and what could have been. Don’t get me wrong; I took my responsibility for my fuck-ups, but there were times when I was home alone in my apartment that I found myself wondering what the hell had happened to me? ’Cause this damn sure was not the life I had planned.
I had grown up privileged, the daughter of the most successful black physician in Ware County. My parents made sure I wanted for nothing. I had every material possession a girl could ever ask for, and a healthy dose of self-confidence to go along with it. The one thing their money couldn’t buy, I went out and got on my own. LC Duncan was the man every woman on campus wanted, and within a week of being formally introduced, he was mine. Well, at last until my world started spiraling out of control.
It all started when my daddy was federally indicted for Medicaid fraud. Our family was shamed, and Daddy skipped the country, but at least I still had LC. He was a college boy with a lot of ambition, and I knew that eventually he would make something of himself and take care of me in the way I was accustomed to. That security didn’t last long, though, because LC became infatuated with a real life whore named Chippy. His family had always been from “that side” of the tracks, and although he was such a nice boy when I met him, I guess he couldn’t resist the temptation but for so long. When I figured out he was slipping away from me, I fought like hell to hold onto him. In the end, I lost the fight and she won. LC left me standing at the altar. I was devastated, crushed, all of those things you would imagine a jilted bride to be, but most of all, I was embarrassed. I pretty much walked out of the church and roamed the Southeast until I hit the bottom.
I finally got my shit together about six months ago. I found my mom, who was living in a one-bedroom apartment in Brunswick. She let me move in, and I found the job at the Waffle House a few days later.
The more I worked, the less I thought about what happened, what could’ve been, or what should’ve been. And it had been working fine until Lou showed up. Seeing him reminded me of LC and brought up some unresolved emotions that I wasn’t ready to deal with.
Since then, I’d hardly slept, and when I finally did drift off, I’d have nightmares and wake up covered in sweat. Tonight, though, I was determined to get some much-needed rest, so I bought a bottle of wine, which I planned on finishing. My mom was back in Waycross visiting with some relatives, so it was going to be me and my bottle.
I was halfway through my second glas
s when the phone rang. I let it ring several times, hoping whoever it was would get the message and stop calling. Unfortunately, they seemed to be just as determined to talk to me as I was to ignore them. Every time it would stop ringing, it would start right up again, so I finally answered.
“Hello,” I mumbled, not even trying to conceal the attitude I had.
“Got damn, what the fuck took you so long to answer the phone? You must have a nigga up in there!” a gruff male voice shouted. Clearly whoever it was had the wrong number, so I hung the phone up without responding.
The phone began ringing again. Just like the first time, I let it continue ringing until I couldn’t take it anymore. Then I answered with even more attitude than the first time.
“Hello!” I yelled.
“Got dammit, Donna! You hang this phone up on me one more time—” The voice was still demanding but less gruff this time, which gave me a chance to recognize who it was.
“Lou?” I squeaked.
“You was expecting maybe the boogieman? Yeah, it’s me,” he replied.
“Why the hell you calling my phone acting like some crazy man? What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked.
“I told you I was gonna call you when I came back through Brunswick. Well, dammit, I’m here.”
I knew I had given him my number, and I knew that was what he said, but I truly hadn’t expected him to call. “Okay, so what do you want?”
“We need to talk,” he said. “Meet me at the Waffle House in twenty minutes.”
“No!” I snapped into the phone. “I’m not going to meet you at my job.”
“Girl, I’m hungry and you playing. Now, unless you want me to show up in the middle of one of your shifts, then—”
“Okay, listen. There’s a new seafood place called Red Lobster off Ninety-five. I’ll be there in a half hour.”
Forty minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of Red Lobster. Lou was already there; I could tell by the baby blue Cadillac parked in front. I looked into my rearview mirror and checked my hair, dabbing on a bit of lipstick. The fact that I had showered, put on the only decent dress I owned, and even dabbed some perfume made it seem more like I was going on a date than having a sit-down with a man I loathed—who also happened to be the brother of the man I loved once upon a time. But I did not want him going back to LC and Chippy telling him I was looking raggedy.
“About damn time you showed up.” Lou greeted me in his usual tactless way when I arrived. He was seated at a booth and nursing a half-full glass of what looked like Johnnie Walker.
“I see you didn’t leave,” I said, easing into the seat across from him.
He responded by glaring at me.
“Hello. What can I get you to drink?” The waitress smiled and put an oversized glossy menu in front of me.
“I’ll have a glass of red wine, please. Also, can I have a shrimp cocktail to start, along with a Caesar salad, extra dressing on the side? Oh, and I’ll have the biggest lobster you have for my meal, with broccoli and a baked potato with sour cream and butter.” I smiled contentedly.
The waitress looked over at Lou for confirmation because that was no small meal I had just ordered. I knew he wanted to object and cuss me out, but to my surprise, he didn’t.
“And what about you, sir?”
“I’ll have some shrimps and some fries, and bring me another one of these.” He lifted his glass.
“Yes, sir, right away.” She nodded and hurried away.
Lou shook his head and frowned at me. “What the hell, Donna?”
“What? You asked me to dinner. Said you was hungry. Am I not supposed to eat?”
“Eating is one thing; ordering shit like you ’bout to give a nigga some drawers is another.”
I leaned over and gave him a seductive smile, making sure he had a great view of my breasts. “You want some drawers, Lou?”
The expression on Lou’s face quickly changed from irritation to surprise as his eyes traveled to my bosom. “Hell yeah, I want some drawers!” I watched him swallow hard, like a nervous little boy.
“Then carry your ass to JC Penney and buy some!” I laughed, twisting my head as I sat back and closed the top of my dress.
“Aw, damn, that’s fucked up.”
“So is the fact that you actually thought I would give you some. I may have fallen off, Lou, but I’m not desperate.”
“No, you’re destitute.” He laughed at his own cruel reply.
“Fuck you.” I gave him the finger. “What the hell do you want, anyway?”
“A couple things.” He sat up in his chair as if to signal that it was time to be serious. “I want to make sure you understand that you need to stay away from my brother and his family.”
“Why would you think I wouldn’t? Because I saw you?”
Lou sat back and looked at me. There was something solemn about his demeanor. “No, because you asked about him. I could see in your eyes you still love him, despite everything that’s happened.”
I had told myself I wasn’t going to cry, but it was suddenly getting hard to hold back the tears. “Is it that obvious?”
“It’s written all over your face,” he said with more tenderness than I knew he was capable of. He handed me a handkerchief to wipe away my tears. “But this is not a road you want to travel.”
“I’m not trying to bother him, Lou, but I do want to know how he’s doing. I have a right to know, don’t I?”
He stared at me for a second, looking almost sympathetic, then he shook his head and said, “I’m just trying to avoid World War III and a lot of people getting hurt.”
“Why are you really here?” I asked. “You could have warned me over the phone. And I know you didn’t really think you had a shot at having sex with me just because you’re buying me dinner.”
“It’s customary when a woman eats like you, but you don’t have to worry. You may have big titties, but I like my woman with some meat on her bones. Skinny bitch like you, I’m sure I’d break your ass in half.” He was laughing, and I felt insulted. I hated when people joked about my flat ass. It was the only part of my body I was insecure about. “Maybe you should order a couple of cheeseburgers with that lobster.”
“Finished with the jokes?” I asked angrily. “Now, can you tell me why the hell I’m here?”
He calmed his giggling ass down and went back to being serious. “I need a favor.”
I sat back, surprised. “What kind of favor?”
“You heard about my momma?”
“Yeah. My condolences,” I said sadly. I’d never met Bettie Duncan, but from all the stories LC told me about his childhood, she must have been a nice woman. I’d read in the newspaper that after being in prison almost thirteen years, she had been released only to be found in the swamp half eaten by alligators. That was the official story, at least, but the word through the grapevine was that the family of the white man she killed had snatched her and threw her in the swamp to be eaten.
“I don’t need your fucking condolences,” he snapped. “My momma ain’t dead. At least I don’t think she is.”
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I read in the papers—”
“Stop believing everything you read in the papers. Isn’t that what you told us when they was saying all that shit about your precious pappy?”
I nodded my understanding. They’d said a lot of shit about my father, some of it true, but most of it was half-truths and outright lies—especially the part about him leaving me and my momma half a million dollars cash in a suitcase. He didn’t leave us shit!
“Fair enough,” I said, “but what does this have do with you needing a favor?”
“You know that paranoid nigga Eddie that was in the diner the other day with me?”
“Not really.” I shrugged.
“Well, he knows you. He told me he’s come by every day since and leaves you a dollar tip with his phone number on it.”
I remembered who he was talking about. “Oh, yeah. He comes thr
ough on the regular now. Mr. Grits-with-one-slice-of-cheese. I got one of his dollar bills in my pocket right now. He’s a little strange.”
“A little? No, he’s a lot strange, but he has something I need, and I need you to get it for me.”
“How am I gonna get it from him? I don’t even know the man.”
“Maybe not, but he wants to fuck you.”
I scrunched up my nose at the thought. “Well, I am the best-looking waitress in the place. A lot of men who come through that place want to fuck me. It’s part of the job. But a dollar tip ain’t gonna get them more than a smile and a thank you, that’s for sure.”
“What’s five hundred dollars gonna get him?”
“Did you say five hundred dollars?” Truth be told, I was broke, and that was almost a month’s salary at the Waffle House. The thought was intriguing, but the messenger was not. I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not one of your whores, Lou. I don’t work at Big Sam’s, or Big Shirley’s, or whatever you call it these days. I’m not fucking your friend for five hundred dollars.”
“I didn’t say I wanted you to fuck him, but that would be the most logical way to gain his confidence. That little shit took my money and was supposed to find out who took my momma. Now all of a sudden he’s hearing the same shit that’s in the news and won’t take my calls. He knows something. I can smell it.”
“Maybe he just hasn’t heard anything,” I suggested.
“You don’t know Eddie. He has a knack for finding shit out. If he really didn’t hear anything, he would have at least made it sound like he did, but he was just outright ignoring me until I confronted him this afternoon. I should have never let him slip away.”
“So what did he tell you?”
“He didn’t tell me jack, just some basic shit that the cops had already told us. But I could tell he knew more than he was saying when he returned my money. Eddie don’t give refunds.”
“So why not strongarm him in that typical Duncan way?” I asked.
“Why does everyone keep acting like all we do is go around beating people up? That’s not our way.”