Ut inimicos sanctae circulae humiliare digneris,
Te rogamus, audi nos!
Terribilis Deus Sanctuario suo,
Cernunnos ipse truderit virtutem plebi Suae,
Aradia ipse fortitudinem plebi Suae.
Benedictus Deus, Gloria Patri,
Benedictus Dea, Matri gloria!”
The incantation finished, I released my pent-up will and the stored ley line energy I’d drawn into myself, casting it into the circle surrounding the demon. The simple binding circle transformed into a blinding circle of light that flared to life at my final words, then dimmed to the slightest glow before fading out completely.
I dropped to one knee, then sat down in the wet grass as the circle faded to nothing more than a burnt ring of grass with a stained white silk and bone corset lying in it. Flynn stood behind me, a wailing and handcuffed jewelry merchant at her feet.
“Why did you send her away? She was my friend!” the woman screeched.
“She was a demon, you fucking moron,” I said from my spot a few feet away.
“I’ll claw your eyes out, you bastard!” She got to her knees and started my way.
Flynn reached out with one foot and knocked her to the turf. “Shut up and behave, you idiot.” A crowd had gathered around us, curious shopkeepers who slept over their stores, performers who heard the commotion from their tents or campers, and our employer, Jacob Strunin, who looked a lot more contemporary without the mustache wax.
“Is it over?” Strunin asked.
“It’s over,” I said. “Your jewelry seller there was wearing a corset possessed by a demon. She needed to drain the life force of others to stay young-looking, so she took a few years off people’s lives to save a little on wrinkle cream.”
“I was beautiful!” the filthy woman screamed from where she lay in the dirt, her tattered chemise and overskirts falling to rags without the binding illusion of the corset.
“You were a jackass,” I said. “We’ll be leaving. Mr. Strunin, I assume we can expect our payment within the week, as agreed upon.” Strunin didn’t meet my eyes as I stood up from the grass and brushed myself off. A snort or two from the assembled Faire folks confirmed my suspicion. “And I should probably remind you that I am the magician who just banished a fucking demon from your little costume party here, so stiffing me on my bill is probably a terrible idea. So I will be hearing from you this week about payment, right?” I asked.
“Of course, of course,” Strunin replied. “Thank you for your help, and the check will most definitely be in the mail.”
“It better be,” Flynn said. “I saw what happened to the last guy that didn’t pay. He started to rot at the appendages, and it worked its way in. Like leprosy, only in a day. By the time Harker stopped the curse, the guy was all elbows and knees. Not to mention the soft bits that melted off first…” She gave a shudder, then turned to me. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah, let me just grab this—” I turned to pick up the corset, but it was gone. Just a burned circle of salt in the grass. I shrugged and started walking to the Faire exit.
A gape-mouthed Flynn caught up with me a few steps later. Aren’t you going to try and get it back? It housed a demon for seven hundred years. Her voice rang in my mind clearer than if she’d spoken directly into my ear.
And now it doesn’t, I replied. It’ll be fine. There’s no magic to speak of left in that thing.
And if you’re wrong? she asked.
Then the dumbass that stole it gets what they deserve. Come on, I want a drink, and they stopped serving beer here at sundown. Lame.
The End
High Fashion Hell Copyright 2015 by John G. Hartness, licensed in the US by Falstaff Books, LLC. All stories contained herein are works of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental.
About the Author
John G. Hartness is a teller of tales, a righter of wrong, defender of ladies’ virtues, and some people call him Maurice, for he speaks of the pompatus of love. He is also the best-selling author of EPIC-Award-winning series The Black Knight Chronicles from Bell Bridge Books, a comedic urban fantasy series that answers the eternal question “Why aren’t there more fat vampires?” In July of 2016. John was honored with the Manly Wade Wellman Award by the NC Speculative Fiction Foundation for Best Novel by a North Carolina writer in 2015 for the first Quincy Harker novella, Raising Hell.
John is the author of the Bubba the Monster Hunter series of short stories and novellas, the Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter novella series, and the creator and co-editor of the Big Bad anthology series, among other projects.
In 2016, John teamed up with a pair of other publishing industry ne’er-do-wells and founded Falstaff Media, a publishing conglomerate dedicated to pushing the boundaries of literature and entertainment.
In his copious free time John enjoys long walks on the beach, rescuing kittens from trees and recording new episodes of his podcast Writing Rants, where he provides writing advice laced with a lot of profanity every two weeks. He’s also a member of the Authors & Dragons podcast, with a bunch of other writers who are way better and funnier than he is. John is also a contributor to the Magical Words group blog. An avid Magic: the Gathering player, John is strong in his nerd-fu and has sometimes been referred to as “the Kevin Smith of Charlotte, NC.” And not just for his girth. He can be found online at www.johnhartness.com and spends too much time on Twitter, especially after a few drinks.
For more information about appearances, signings, and other silliness, feel free to follow John on Twitter (@johnhartness), or on his website www.johnhartness.com.
Also by John G. Hartness
Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter
Year One
Raising Hell
Straight to Hell
Hell on Heels
Hell Freezes Over
Year One - A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Collection
Year Two
Heaven Sent
Heaven’s Door
The Black Knight Chronicles
Volume 1 - Hard Day’s Knight
Volume 2 - Back in Black
Volume 3 - Knight Moves
The Black Knight Chronicles Omnibus Edition
Volume 4 - Paint it Black
Volume 5 - In the Still of the Knight
Volume 6 - Man In Black
Black Knight Shorts
Movie Knight - A Black Knight Short Story
Black Magic Woman - A Black Knight Short Story
Gone Daddy Gone - A Black Knight Short Story
Knight UnLife - Collected Black Knight Shorts
Co-Edited with Emily Lavin Leverett
The Big Bad: An Anthology of Evil
The Big Bad 2
Bubba the Monster Hunter Short Stories
Season 1
Voodoo Children
Ballet of Blood
Ho-Ho-Homicide
Tassels of Terror
Cat Scratch Fever
Love Stinks
Hall & Goats
Footloose
Sixteen Tons
Family Tradition - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Prequel
Final Countdown
Scattered, Smothered and Chunked - The Complete Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 1
Season 2
UnHoly Night - A Skeeter the Monster Hunter Short Story
Love Hurts
Dead Man’s Hand
She’s Got Legs
Howl
Double Trouble
Elf off the Shelf
Casket Case
Stone Cold Crazy
Rest High on That Mountain
Bad Moon Rising
Grits, Guns & Glory - The Complete Bubba the Monster Hunter Season 2
Season 3
Moon Over Bourbon Street
Night at the Museum
Midsummer
Beauregard the Monster Hunter Short Stories
Fire on the Mountain
White Lightning
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Moonshine & Magic - The Collected Beauregard the Monster Hunter Stories
Other Work
Headshot
Balance - Tales of Alternate Reality
Genesis - Return to Eden Book 1
The Chosen
Returning the Favor and other slices of life
Red Dirt Boy
The Christmas Lights
Cinched: Imagination Unbound (Editor)
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Changeling’s Fall
The Eisteddfod Chronicles Book I
By Sarah Joy Adams
&
Emily Lavin Leverett
Her Faerie Tale is getting awfully grim.
Deor Smithfield had it all figured out. She had a great education, a new job teaching at a good university, and a plan to move across the country to start her new life.
Then her body betrayed her, and she seemed to be falling prey to the same wasting sickness that killed her mother. When medical science failed her in spectacular fashion, Deor's grandmother told her that her long-lost father was more than just another deadbeat dad - he was a faerie, and she's a Changeling, half-human, half-fae.
Now Deor has to rush to Faerie in search of her missing father before his magical parting gift kills her. She's in a new world with no friends, no money, no job, and only a few days to find her disappearing daddy before she's kicked back out into the mundane world to die.
Oh yeah, and somebody's hunting Changelings in Faerie.
Changeling's Fall is the first volume of the Eisteddfod Chronicles, the stunning debut contemporary high fantasy series from Sarah Joy Adams and Emily Lavin Leverett.
Available now in print and digital from Falstaff Books! WWW.FalstaffBooks.com.
Available now from Falstaff Books
Of Lips and Tongue
A Touch Trilogy Novella
By A.G. Carpenter.
"A stunning new voice in genre!" - John G. Hartness, author of The Black Knight Chronicles
Delaney Green is one of them that don't burn. Possessed of the Touch - with the ability to not only see the future but manipulate it - she's been kept in an institution for most of her life. When the Salesman, a murderous entity with a connection to Delaney's past, starts burning girls to death, FBI Agent Percival Cox gives her the chance to leave the asylum behind. But he presents an even greater threat and she must risk flesh and bone in order to keep him from becoming a Power more destructive than the Salesman.
Available now wherever ebooks are sold! WWW.FalstaffBooks.com.
Available now from Falstaff Books
This Giant Leap
By Edmund Schubert.
"(Edmund Schubert is) a writer I stay up late reading" Faith Hunter, NY Times bestselling author of the Jane Yellowrock series.
Acclaimed editor Edmund R. Schubert hangs up his editorial hat to explore issues both global and personal in this exquisite short story collection. Life, Death, Aliens, Zombies, Love, Loss, Apocalypse, Space Travel - these are just a few of the topics Schubert looks at in This Giant Leap. In this volume readers will find science fiction, horror, fantasy and new genre blends, all told with Schubert's characteristic heart and glorious writing style.
“Edmund Schubert writes with flair, with wit, with stunning imagination. His plot lines twist and surprise and, ultimately, satisfy. And his characters remain with you long after you’ve stopped turning the pages. Savor this collection, but beware: When you’re done with these, you’re just going to want more.” — David B. Coe/D.B. Jackson
Available now in print and ebook from Falstaff Books. WWW.FalstaffBooks.com.
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