“Is everything all right?”
“No, nothing is all right. Nothing will be until I see Bria again and explain it to her.”
“I’m glad you found your answers then.” Irony drips from his mouth. The dislike is mutual, old man.
“We’re not done, Mr. Hope.”
“There’s nothing more to talk about.”
“At least tell me she’s well and enjoying life somewhere.” But his lips remain sealed.
“No answer is still an answer. Mr. Hope, because I’m sure you’re privileged enough to get to see her. Please let her know I’m counting the days. One more month.”
“She would never forget it if it’s in her capacity to fulfill her part.”
He hangs up. I shoot my phone at the wall as a thousand pieces crash on the floor. I bend and grab my sim card. I pick my office phone and bark, “Luisa, send someone to clean my office.”
“Right away, Mr. du Sky.” My assistant shoots to her feet, her hand flying to the phone as I scamper away.
Should I take it as she’s alive at least? A headache splits my brain. I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically fucking drained. I snatch my keys and wallet and bolt through the office doors with one direction in mind. I need to relieve some steam, sparing with my trainer, Mark, might help me, even if for a moment. My Aston Martin roars under me as I speed off.
How much more do I have to pay for loving her? But if paying is the only way, I’ll gladly do it my entire life. All the suffering, the torment from the past years, must have a hidden worth eluding me. As long as love still drives me, I’ll overcome any hardship. For her, as she’s my beginning and my end.
Thirty more days until I’ll enter a new life-changing chapter with or without her when I either burn down everything I’ve worked for or build it to newer heights.
BRIA
My eyes blink open. I draw in a deep breath, a breath of life, even if it is from behind an oxygen mask. The tension bubbling up inside decreases as my gaze trails the big smile stretching across Quinn’s face.
Happy tears blur my vision, and relief surges through me. I raise my hands to my face and observe life flowing through my veins. Goosebumps prickle at my entire body as I witness the miracle of being alive.
A slight pressure expands in my chest, but I breathe through the discomfort. I came alive again.
Quinn grabs my hand and shelters it between his palms, his eyes glossy. “Welcome back, sweetie. You slept for ten hours straight. If it weren’t for your breaths, I would’ve hyperventilated by now.”
I push the mask aside, open my mouth, pushing through my raspy throat. “It’s called relief, Dad.” I chuckle. “What were the chances?”
“You’re alive. That’s all that matters.”
Silence veils us in, allowing us to grasp the importance of this moment. I received a chance for a future. Now it’s up to me.
I’ll prove worthy of this wonder. No one can stop me, not this time around. As I make my vow, power flows through me, and I rejoice in it. It becomes my new mantra. I’ll fight for happiness, forgiveness, and love.
I’m done. In this hospital bed, I leave the past behind. Damien, too? The nagging voice inside me taunts. I half nod. My heart yelps in disagreement, but I ignore it. I’m taking with me only the family I earned along the way—Quinn and Alex Hope—and the belief of finding my way.
But I want to live for myself. Learn how to love and accept myself. Find inside me the one thing I’ve looked for in the wrong places—peace. I still need to heal my mind, and confront everything and everyone, but I need some time to prepare myself to face my family again. To prepare myself to see Damien again.
***
With every day, my chest pressure lessens, after a few days, I trudge around.
Rei puts her hands on her waist and scolds me. “Miss du Mont, please take it easy. It’s only been five days. Don’t make me tell the doctor about it because you’ll stay longer than planned otherwise.” I climb back into bed as she nods and leaves me.
She’s right. What would it cost me to slow down a little? But she has no clue what happened on my insides. I stopped living, and I need to make up for lost time. Life waits for no one. I must chase after it, seize what I want.
A few days later, my doctors inform me that I am healed enough to be discharged. It’s strange. I still feel like me, but better. I’m Bria du Mont 2.0. I smile at my own silly joke. My eyes find Quinn’s shining with love, and I tuck my arm under his.
“I’ve looked forward to seeing you better. It finally happened.”
Emotions tug at his voice, and I confide, “The problem has always been me, Quinn. Preparing for the end blinded me, and I gave up on living too soon. You saw a fighter, but before I met you, I wasn’t. I’ve survived by having only one major goal . . . to keep punishing myself. I’ve lived in a lie, deliberately lied to everyone, including myself. But now, I’m ready to step out of my dark prison and live. Plus, you’re here next to me.”
He bends, kisses me on my temple, and I snuggle myself to him.
“Always, sweetie. I’ll always be there for you.”
“I’m ready to fly back and begin with the therapy.”
The driver pulls the limo to the entrance, and we climb inside. “The final follow-up is a week from now, Bria. So why don’t we put everything aside and enjoy what this beautiful city has to offer? Be patient for once.”
I discover Tokyo, more from sitting than walking. I am still recovering. We take a panoramic Tokyo tour where the most impressive thing to see is the Imperial Palace. My eyes widen in amazement in the face of such buildings and spectacular landscapes. I envision myself as a time traveler passing from one era to another witnessing how the old found its home in the modern.
We stroll through the gardens of the Imperial Palace the second day. We discover the tea ceremony, consisting of serving matcha and sweets, a long, formal reverent tradition by a tea master. The city trip ends with the Sumida River cruise.
My final appointment with the doctor ends with him informing me that until I fully recover any situation that strains my heart could threaten my healing. He also prescribes me the medicine I’ll need to take for an indefinite time, depending on how long it takes for the patch to turn itself into a healthy working muscle—aspirin and beta-blockers—the latter to reduce the risk of future heart attacks. I grasp the bottles and put them in my purse.
I murmur a goodbye before we board the jet that’ll take me a step nearer to the life I left on pause. Determination accompanies the lungful of air I drag in.
As I buckle and lean into the sleek leather seat, I hope my therapy sessions will also end positively. Rachel asks how our vacation went, and we exchange a secretive look, but our lips quirk up in smiles, and I reply, “Life changing.”
It has been another experience that has strengthened mine and Quinn’s relationship. By now, it must be unbreakable.
As the jet chases down the sun, we play chess. I line up my knights and bishops up against his king. He stares at the board, his hand circles around his pieces. After his move, his eyes narrow at me. “What now, Bria?” He takes my bishop out. I take his queen.
“Check,” I reply and add, “The plan . . . I’ll be in therapy for the next two months healing everything that made me ache these last years. Then, I’ll have to meet a certain person who not only threatened me but gave me an ultimatum. After that, I’ll see. Possibly, I’ll move back to the States.” I shrug, the liberating sentiment of no pressure blanketing me in. “As M&S expands, I’ll consider undertaking the American division.”
His fore and middle finger dig into his cheek, his warm eyes twinkling at the prospect. “It would be nice to have you near.”
“You’re one reason,” I confess, and he recognizes in my gaze the other one.
“You can’t keep leaving unfinished business with Damien because it’ll always mess with you. Don’t make him a reason you want to escape again.”
My queen takes his kin
g down while mine remains behind her, protected.
“Checkmate.” He waves his hand in the air and slides the pieces to the side.
“But you don’t get it. No one does, not even us. We can engage in hundreds of talks and closures. We’ll keep having them until one of us drops dead. Perhaps then we’ll finish our unfinished business.” I cross my arms over my chest and sigh. “We tried, it’s not even wanting to escape it, just granting us a chance of letting go. It’s the only rational way because we don’t seem to be rational when we’re together. We’d end it today to start over again tomorrow.” I rest my face in my palm, my gaze trailing the purple rays lowering under the horizon. “I don’t want to talk about him anymore. It’s a never-ending story.”
“It doesn’t work like this, sweetie.”
The truth of his words echoes in my brain as I add, “Regarding Alex. He deserves to know what happened. I need these two months for me. I’ve been a stranger to myself for such a long time. I need to understand who I am, where I want to go from now on. It’s time to face myself.” I tilt my face to him and find his eyes glancing back at me in understanding.
“Take your time. Alex will come to accept your decision. Don’t think of us. You’ll do us all a favor when you come back to us healthy, both mentally and physically.”
This man and his unconditional love for me. In my darkest times, it was he who showed me a glimpse of light. Without him, I wouldn’t be here. I’ve lost love and friendships, even family ties, but I’m thankful for the ones I’ve gained with Quinn—safety, stability, and a family made by choice—as it never felt like a replacement. We are a family.
Whatever may happen, I have a place to call home with him. Peace spreads through me, and I embrace the lightness of it. Deep in my being, the tiny voice whispers it will be okay. I’m on the right path.
***
I awaken from my nap to a thought nagging at me, and I toss and turn in my seat. My nervousness irks me, it’s these vulnerable moments I miss not feeling. I shove this idea right back into the corners of my mind and blurt out, “Thank you for not giving up on me when I did. I was done, all I heard were the risks of the third surgery, my worsening heart condition, and it was not how I planned to go.”
My breath halts as he moves in his seat, taps the armrest, and his eyes bore into mine.
“You giving up made me furious. There was a moment I wanted to give up on you too. But then I saw Alex, and his accusing gaze followed me everywhere.” He doesn’t say he had to save me, he couldn’t live with losing me or with Alex losing another woman he loves.
“We never told him I sought treatment for my heart disease, but none of the doctors could find a way for my heart to fully recover. Thank you for keeping it a secret.” His eyes, warm, shining with love fixed on me. I continue, “You shouldn’t let him get to you, we know better. I preferred he believes I refused help out of lack of will to live over his frustration regarding my condition. Not feeling kept me alive longer. Admit it. It’s why I said no to therapy.” It’s the first time I say it aloud. I was on death’s road, true, but not because I was suicidal because I was physically dying.
“I offered you everything you wanted, out of love. I never lost faith, nor the will to fight for your life. I was aware after years you spent being so ill, with the uncertainty, one day you would shut down completely. I had to come up with something else. Finding that tape was my best chance. I didn’t expect Alex to involve Damien, but without him, you wouldn’t have spared a second thought at my solution.” His eyes dart outside, and when they again land on me, his thin, rosy lips curl up into a pensive smile.
“The only one you can never seem to deny anything to and who makes your stubbornness vanish with one glimpse or one word is Damien. He’s the one to break you and to stitch you up again. To be honest, he has so much power over you; it frightens me.”
I bend over the table, my palms flat on the surface, my eyes locked on his. “Damien and I are destined to be just a shattered love. We’re over.”
As the words fly out of my mouth, my heart cracks at my admission. I wonder if I believe it myself, but it must be this way.
All the pain and suffering, I would repeat it all in a heartbeat for his love. I lower my head, there’ll always be a side of me that yearns for his love. I must move to the States after mending my relationship with my brother, my parents, and the du Skys.
I’ll have had three months behind me to wind myself up and control myself when I face him. How will I protect myself from his beckoning eyes, from diving into my sea of never-ending wishes for a never-to-be happy ending? How will I stop my traitorous heart not to push me toward him? The thought alone drains me.
My mood reflects my inner turmoil, highlighted by Quinn’s permanent frown plastered on his face.
We land, and I unchain myself from my mind and force a thank you and goodbye to the crew. I dart outside, rushing to the black-tinted SUV, which will bring me to the private clinic.
The moon peers behind a massive cloud, and my emotions run rampant. Why is being here the hardest part? I used to be happy here. Zürich was my favorite place in the world. But now, my body jerks in panic.
Two men stand next to the car. I recognize my therapist, Dr. David Bertrand, from our Skype call, and next to him is my assigned driver from the clinic, Gabriel Hartmann.
I cut short his attempt at further small talk as I raise my hand. “Dr. Bertrand, for my stay at the clinic, I’ll be at your disposal as my priority is to seek help, but for what remains of the drive, I wish to remain silent.”
I force my lips to curl into a polite smile, his eyes seeing right through me and he nods.
“Miss du Mont, I’m here to help you and not cause you any distress. I’ll accompany your stay in Küsnacht. I’m confident we’ll provide you with the necessary help you need.”
His quietness and observatory gaze speaks of keen professionalism. His job demands him to be the person in charge, but it disturbs me having to give away my control.
I tilt my head to Quinn, pursing his lips, and I mouth a “Tomorrow I’ll do better.” He cradles me in his arms while my body stiffens. A panic attack erupts inside me as I breathe through my mouth. He whispers above my ear, “Don’t sabotage everything you’ve worked for so far. See Zürich as it is, a city and your home. Stop panicking every time you’re here. It’s not the city that represents the problem.”
My words get caught in my throat. I seal my lips as I lock my hands around his back.
“I put all my trust in you. You can defeat your demons. I hope in two months, I’ll find a person who knows who she is and what she’s capable of. This time, you’re by yourself. It’s a journey and perhaps the adventure of your life. Physical well-being is nothing without the emotional and mental being.”
He cups my head in his hands, dips his head, and kisses me on both cheeks. As he releases me from his embrace, another panic bout settles in my core, and fright extinguishes my courage.
I wave him goodbye as he ducks through the door of his jet. I’m alone.
For the first time, in a long time, I’m by myself.
BRIA
The quietness of the drive as the limo glides through the streets of Zürich and the lights banish the night’s darkness away, wraps me in a security blanket. I rest my head on the armrest, glancing outside the window. No one knows I’m here and why. The thought chills me, and I shudder. My family has no clue what I went through, and Damien must think I have no intention of coming back at all.
What causes my absence in him? What I wouldn’t give to wander through his being to witness whatever is left of me in him.
As the car passes through the facility’s bulky, metal gates, an endless patio of patterned stones guarded by aligned trees gives way to a white building cast in a shadow.
Exclusive. Private. It reminds me of an island, secluded from prying eyes.
The driver pulls the car to a stop and opens my door. With a courteous nod my way, he turns on his
heel and gathers my luggage.
A blonde woman extends her french manicured hand in greeting, her light blue eyes filled with warmth as I lift mine to meet hers.
“Good evening, Miss du Mont. My name is Caroline Bernasconi. I’m here to provide you assistance and to make sure your housing is according to your wishes. If you’d follow me, please.”
“Thank you, Miss Bernasconi. After you.” I walk beside her toward my villa on the hill, our heels clicking through the night on the stony path, as Dr. Betrand falls in line behind us. The view enthralls me. The pine trees and the city lights dancing on the lake’s surface make me forget I’m in a clinic.
I step into my residence and notice an open space with a wide expanse of floor to ceiling windows to assure the perfect view of Lake Zürich. The walls are painted in charcoal gray and the curtains are a darker shade of violet with golden accents and decorations offering the place a sparkle of decadence. The fireplace catches my attention, white and majestic, and pink roses in an oval vase decorating the mantle. I amble further and peer out the door to the terrace. A pool stretches out on half while the other half gives way to a relaxation area of greenery and flowers.
“Good evening, Miss du Mont.”
The greeting pulls my attention back to my surroundings, and I turn to meet the person behind the soft, humming voice. “My name is Elisabeth Roth. I’ll be your counselor for your stay.” Her round eyes accompany her lips quirking up, and warmth flows from her. With her long brown hair caressing her slender shoulders, wearing an elegant, long-sleeve olive toned dress ending below her knees and matching jewelry, she appears to be a woman with a flattering, ageless appearance.
Healing Love: A Billionaire Romance (Forever Us Book 2) Page 3