“Oh Lord.” Aubrey finished her drink. “Now I’m picturing you and Beau having sex at your desk.”
Charlotte felt her cheeks flame, remembering that steamy afternoon. She pointed her finger at Aubrey and said, “Do not go there.”
“It totally happened! You’re Shayna! You’re beet red.” Aubrey leaned in, holding Charlotte’s gaze. “That sex was scorching hot.”
“Okay, sex kitten and penis pusher,” Presley said with a stern voice. “Let’s get back on topic, shall we? Char, what if you and Beau break up? Do you think you’ll still be able to write erotic romance?”
Charlotte’s heart sank at what she knew might be a real possibility. What if Beau couldn’t fully move past his guilt? Could they be happy avoiding his hometown at certain times? Avoiding the people who had known them as a couple? His family definitely didn’t want him to live such a separate life from them. Would that cause stress for their relationship? She wanted to stand by him no matter what, but what if they only worked away from his hometown? The other thing she was trying not to think about rose to the surface. She wanted to support his new career, but what if he moved to L.A. and things changed between them?
Her stomach knotted up. She looked at her friends, wishing she could avoid telling them the truth, but she’d never been able to lie to them. “If we broke up, eventually, maybe I could write erotic romance again, but not right away. It’d be like losing my family all over again, only different. I’d probably write something dark and depressing while I mourn.”
Presley shook her head. “I love you, but writers make me crazy. I can’t get you out of your contract. There’s too much red tape, and it would be setting a precedent.”
“I’m not asking you to do that. I can go home and write a new erotic story if that’s an option. I’ll finish this one no matter what, even if we don’t publish it. But I can go home and write my dom/sub story if you give me a little extra time.”
“Charlotte’s not asking you to do anything, Pres,” Aubrey said. “But I am. Now that I thought about the Me Time channel, I can’t stop thinking about it. Me Time is like Lifetime, only steamier. That story is perfect. It’s sweet, loving, and passionate. Fans love her voice, regardless of how much hair pulling there is.”
“I know they do.” Presley sighed, the stress of the conversation evident in her serious expression. “Charlotte, you’re an incredible writer, and your voice is what makes you special. I don’t want to pressure you to write anything you don’t want to. But you need to fulfill this contract with an erotic romance one way or another. Why don’t you let me and Aubrey think this through and see what we can work out? You can take a few days to think about things and talk to Beau. I have to watch our asses legally, but honestly, babe, you come first. I can see how in love with him you are. And as you said, if things go bad and he can’t be all in with you, then this might be the beginning of a change in your writing for a while. So, let’s all take a breather, enjoy our evening together, and regroup on this topic in a week.”
Aubrey leaned in, mimicking Presley’s serious expression, and said, “You’re our sister, and we’ll always have your back. If you need help dragging Beau’s ass to his hometown, I’m your gal.”
Chapter Nineteen
BEAU STOOD ON the ladder late Monday night, touching up paint on the shelf he’d put up along one wall to hold some of the special things he’d found in a box in Charlotte’s closet. He and his brothers had taken a break earlier to grill steaks and shoot the shit, and as he’d known they would, they’d busted their asses without complaint all day. The study was done, the furniture was in, and by the time he was supposed to pick up Charlotte from the airport tomorrow, her room would be done, too.
“Want me to toss a few Twix wrappers on her comforter so she feels at home?” Nick teased.
“Don’t forget the water bottles,” Graham said as he sank into one of Charlotte’s pink chairs. “How’d Mr. Neat and Organized end up with a woman who has other priorities?”
“A better question is, how’d you end up with a woman at all? You’re surlier than I am,” Nick said as Beau climbed down the ladder.
“Not around Charlotte,” Graham pointed out.
As much as Beau wanted to own the truth of Graham’s statement, he didn’t respond. He’d been wrong about Nick wanting to harass him, but he still didn’t want to spark a conversation that would stir things up. Nick had made a few comments about Beau moving, implying that he was avoiding the obvious, but he hadn’t pushed the subject. Then again, Nick had a way of saying just enough to get under Beau’s skin, making the uncertainty of his impending move rub like sandpaper.
Beau set the paintbrush on the paint can and said, “Are you guys up for one more job?”
His brothers exchanged an incredulous glance.
“You don’t even have to move,” he assured them. “I installed a driveway alarm, and I haven’t had a chance to turn it on and test it.”
“Dude, what are you doing?” Nick asked just as Beau’s phone rang.
Beau grabbed his phone, smiling at Charlotte’s name on the screen. “Making sure she’s safe. Give me a sec.” He answered Char’s call and stepped out the French doors to the yard. “Hey, babe. How’s it going?”
“Well, it’s after eleven o’clock at night and you’re too many miles away. How’s it going for you?”
She sounded tired and sweet. He wanted to climb through the phone and gather her in his arms. “The same. I miss you.” He glanced inside, catching his brothers watching him, and paced under their scrutiny. “How’d it go with your editor?”
“She was blatantly honest, as always. My story isn’t erotic enough. It’s too loving. The sex is good, but erotic romance needs to be grittier. Basically, she wants me to rewrite it with less love and more sex.”
Beau grinned. “Guess we’ll have to work on that, huh? If anyone can nail a scene, it’s you, babe.”
A tired sigh came through the phone. “I think we’re the problem. Remember how I told you that I had writer’s block before you showed up? And then it was like you’d punctured a vein, and I could write again? Well, don’t get upset with me, but I think Roman and Shayna ended up being more our story than the one I was supposed to write.”
Beau gazed out into the darkness, unsure if that was good or bad, given that her story wasn’t what her editor wanted. But he couldn’t deny the pleasure he felt in knowing their relationship had affected her as deeply as it affected him. “Char, I don’t want to screw up your writing. Tell me how I can help, and I will.”
“Hm. Let me think.” The tease in her voice made him smile. “Lots and lots of amazing hot sex.”
His body heated up as he pictured her lying naked on the bed, her beautiful hair spread over the pillow, her eyes lulling him into a Charlotte-induced trance. Fuck. Now he was getting hard. He adjusted himself and said, “You’re on, babe, and if my brothers weren’t watching me like a hawk, I’d flip on the video chat and take you to heaven and back right now.”
“Beau,” she whispered with a giggle. “I’ve never done that.”
“I look forward to popping your video-chat cherry, and before you ask, yes, you’ll be popping mine, too.” He heard Nick say something and said, “But not tonight. Not with these guys around.”
“I can hardly wait! Want to hear my good news?”
“Absolutely. Anything to get the image of you naked out of my head.”
“You’re thinking about…?”
“Don’t. I’m already sporting wood just thinking about talking dirty to you. Tell me your good news, and for God’s sake, do not use any dirty words.”
She giggled. “Aubrey heads up the media division of LWW, and she’s thinking about using the story I’m writing for their new Me Time channel, which is a hotter Lifetime-type channel.”
“Seriously? That’s awesome.”
“Who knows if it will come through. And part of me feels like it’s too private to share like that.”
“But you gave it to your editor, and if she had loved it, it would get published anyway, right? Besides, what choice do you have? Aren’t you under contract for this manuscript?”
“Yes, but I think they might let me swap another book for this one. And you should know, I gave it to my editor before I realized there was so much of us in the story.”
“Aw, babe. If you want to tuck it away in a drawer, publish it, or make it into a movie, I’ll support your decision. Do what makes you happiest. Just know that no matter how much of us is in that manuscript, it doesn’t show all of us. My love for you grows every day, so if you decide to do this Me Time thing, by the time the story gets out there we’ll be on a whole new level. Think of the inspiration you’re giving to all your fans who are hoping to find love.”
“I never thought of it that way.”
“Can’t say I have either,” he said, and glanced into her bedroom, where Nick and Graham were busy cleaning up.
“Did you have fun with your brothers?”
He didn’t want to tell her about her surprises, so he said, “Yeah, we had a good time. How about you and your friends?”
“It was great seeing them. I wish you were here to meet them.”
“One day we’ll take a trip out there together. I want to see where you grew up, and I’d love to meet the friends who have been there for you.”
“I’d love that. I talked to Aubrey about the reality show. She said your life is going to be very public, even if you don’t want it to be. She gave me a list of things she said you should look for in your contract that protect you. I’m sure you have a lawyer, but I was glad she offered some suggestions.”
“My cousin Savannah has been handling the contract, but I’d still like to look over Aubrey’s list. Please tell her thanks for me.” Savannah was Hal’s daughter, and a high-powered entertainment attorney.
“I will. I’m having breakfast with them at seven tomorrow morning.”
“Enjoy your time with them. Sweet dreams tonight, baby. And, Char?”
“Yeah?”
“I think your parents and grandparents would be very proud of everything you’re doing.”
She was quiet for so long, he thought he’d said something wrong. “Babe? Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said shakily. “Thank you for that. In the back of my mind I always hope they’d be proud of me. How could you know that I needed to hear it?”
He couldn’t tell her that he’d spent so much time among her and her family’s things today that he just knew they’d want her to hear it, so instead he said, “Because they’re never far from your mind. Just like you’re never far from mine.”
They talked for a minute longer, and after saying good night, he headed back toward Charlotte’s room. Nick was leaning against the doorframe blocking his way. Beau’s muscles constricted.
“Let me just finish cleaning up, and then I’ll head out to test the driveway alarm.”
“What are you doing, bro?” Nick asked.
Beau pushed past him. “Did I mumble?” After talking to Charlotte, the last thing he wanted was to have a pissing match with Nick. He glanced at Graham, who held his hands up, like he didn’t want to be involved. Beau knelt to close the paint can and gathered the tarps.
“Talk to me, Beau.” Nick grabbed his arm, stopping him from doing any more work.
Beau rose to his full height, meeting his brother’s steely gaze. “What do you want to know? Just tell me, because I don’t want to play games.”
“I know. There was a time when you could banter like a pro, but that was a long time ago.”
Beau ground his back teeth and set down the painting supplies. “I knew you not giving me shit was too good to be true.”
“Here we go,” Graham said exasperatedly. He moved beside them, close enough to intervene while Beau and Nick faced off.
“What are you doing with Charlotte?” Nick asked. “Do you even know? Does she?”
“What are you talking about?” Beau waved around the room. “What do you think I’m doing with her?”
“What matters is what you think you’re doing,” Nick challenged.
“Then we have no problem, because I know what I feel. I love her, man. I fucking love everything about her. I love that she eats candy for breakfast and gets so drawn into her work that she doesn’t notice anything else. I love that she doesn’t let go of the memories of the people she loved most and that she lets herself dream of a fairy-tale life and really fucking believes it can come true. And you know what else? This is what you really want to hear, so listen carefully.” Beau stepped closer, unable to keep from raising his voice. “I love that she loves me. All of me, including the fucked-up broken pieces. I love that we are so good together I can’t imagine a single day without her. You got a problem with that?”
“No, bro. That’s what I want for you,” Nick said sternly. “I came here expecting to see the same surly brother I’ve seen for years. Instead I found a guy who’s all googly-eyed over a chick. It’s fucking awesome.”
Beau’s breath rushed from his lungs. “Then what the fuck, Nick? You just like making me crazy?”
“Yes,” Graham said.
Nick smirked. “No. But I worry that you like making yourself crazy. You think you don’t deserve to really be happy. I saw you last night. You were so fucking happy, and then you looked around, and I saw guilt consuming you.”
Beau had done that more than once. But he didn’t think anyone had noticed.
“Then you looked at Charlotte, and guilt swallowed you whole. Damn it, Beau, I wanted to dig you out of that fucking guilt hellhole you’ve buried yourself in.”
“Don’t you think I want to dig myself out?” Beau snapped. “Do you think I like feeling that no matter where I go or what I do, Tory’s death will always haunt me?”
Graham put a hand on Beau’s shoulder, slowing him down enough to take a breath.
“We worry about you, Beau,” Graham said calmly. “We know that’s why you’re taking that job in L.A., to run away from it all.”
“You have to deal with this shit, Beau. Moving isn’t going to settle your ghosts.” Nick’s voice escalated. “What if Mom or Dad get sick and it happens to be this time of year? What if Charlotte wants a real life? One that’s not controlled by when you can visit?”
“She understands my shit,” he said angrily.
Nick’s shoulders dropped and he shook his head. “Of course she does,” he said more empathetically. “She loves you. Any fool can see that. Beau, we lost a big part of you when Tory died, but at least you’re around sometimes. We don’t want to lose more of you. If you want that job, take it and we’ll support it, but first just ask yourself this. Why do you want it? You hate attention and you already make seven figures. We both know it’s not the money.” He held Beau’s stare. “When are you going to stop running? You’re not a dumb kid who made a mistake. You’ve got to let that guilt go, deal with it once and for all.”
“Why?” Beau seethed, hands fisted, jaw clenched, and his heart ripping to shreds. “So Tory’s family and everyone else in the fucking town can think I’ve forgotten her? So they can talk about how unfair it is that I get to be happy when she’s dead?” Tears burned his eyes, and he turned away.
Nick circled him with a determined and sad look in his eyes. “You still don’t get it, do you? Nobody blames you. You’d know that if you ever talked to people about this. But you didn’t give anyone the chance, Beau. You were too hurt and too damn stubborn, and you’ve been stuck in self-imposed hell ever since.”
Beau stalked away, all of the emotions of the past few weeks coming to a head.
Nick grabbed his arm and stepped in front of him so he had no choice but to look him in the eyes. “You have a second chance at happiness in your hands. Don’t screw this up by making Charlotte live within your fucked-up boundaries.”
“You want me to walk away?” Beau was as angry as he was confused.
“No,” Graham said, ste
pping between them. “He—we all—want you to come back home and face your issues. Live your life where you were meant to live it once and for all. Let us stand by you, Beau. You’re not alone in this. You’ve been alone for too long.”
Chapter Twenty
“REMEMBER THAT TIME we went into the city before Christmas break and Pres puked in that tattoo parlor?” Aubrey asked Tuesday morning at the Pit Stop Café, one of their old favorite haunts.
Charlotte was too excited to see Beau to eat anything, but Aubrey and Presley had no problem gobbling down the muffin she’d bought. “And you got your belly button pierced while she was puking her guts up!” Her phone vibrated with a text from Beau. “I still have the pictures of us with Tom Selleck,” she said absently as she opened the message. A picture of Beau holding her rooster popped up with the caption. How’s my girl? Your big cock misses you. Xox.
“Oh my God, we were so drunk!” Presley said. “Remember how Aubrey kept yelling, ‘Just one picture for my mom! She has the biggest crush on you!’”
“We got the pictures, didn’t we?” Aubrey leaned closer to Charlotte, looking at the text from Beau as she took a drink. She choked on her coffee, then burst into giggles. “I need to meet this guy!”
“Why?” Presley leaned across the table, and Charlotte showed her the text. “Oh my gosh. I so love him!”
“Send him a picture of your cleavage,” Aubrey said. “Tell him he can play with your eggs anytime.”
Presley rolled her eyes. “Gross. Eggs are balls, not boobs.”
“I’ve got this.” Charlotte navigated to a picture of a kitten and then typed, Not as much as your…misses you! She showed it to the girls.
“What the hell is that?” Aubrey grabbed her phone and replaced the ellipses with the word pussy.
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