by Lacey Alpha
His expression is perfectly calm like he's at peace. Wherever he is now, I hope he feels as serene as he looks. I don't know what's worse, him being able to hear what's going on around him or not. Being trapped inside your mind for six years doesn't bear thinking about.
My tears drip onto his arm and I hastily wipe them off.
“You still love me, then, huh?”
I snap around at the voice, horrified beyond belief to find Logan standing against the wall, his arms folded over his chest.
I quickly rub the tears from my face, jumping to my feet. “How long have you been standing there?” Fury prickles my veins. How dare he not tell me he was here!
“From around the time you started speaking.” He gives me a slanted grin and I glare at him, trying to ignore the urge to throw myself at him. This man walked out on me. And he didn't choose to bump into me today.
What's even more annoying is how good he looks. Fresh clothes, trimmed facial hair and bright eyes that suggest a good night's rest. That makes one of, at least.
“I was just leaving,” I say, smartly walking from the room with my chin held high. Adam may not be my brother but that conversation was private. Logan had no right to listen in on it.
“Darcy!” he calls after me but I don't stop, charging toward the elevator.
Jamming my thumb against it, I tap my foot impatiently as I wait.
Logan takes my arm, turning me to him. My whole body is electrified by his presence.
“I'm sorry I went AWOL, okay? Just hear me out,” he implores.
I'm already shaking my head before he finishes. “No, Logan. I'm sorry I came here. I know you don't wanna see me. And I'm not going to stand around listening to some bullshit when you clearly had no intention of running in to me today.”
“Wrong.” He folds his arms. “I went to your house, you weren't there. Kelly told me you were here. She also swore at me, a lot.”
I purse my lips, trying not to be taken in by his soft tone. “Bullshit.”
He sighs, tugging me closer to him. “Please, Darcy. Two minutes to explain, then you can keep walking if you want.”
The doors slide open to the lift and I glance inside, torn. A grey-haired man in a wheelchair sits there, raising his eyebrows when we don't enter the space. “Going up?” he offers.
“I can't, Logan.” I shake him off, grabbing the doors as they move to shut.
He tugs me away again as the doors clang open. The man in the lift glances between the two of us, clearly unsure of what to do.
“One minute,” Logan pleads and tears burn my eyes.
I reach for the lift again as the doors slide across.
“Thirty seconds,” Logan demands, tugging me away from them.
The man in the wheelchair scowls. “I mean, really. Make up your mind.”
“Yes, make up your mind, Darcy.” Logan gazes directly into my eyes, his brow drawn, his expression mesmerising.
“Fine,” I sigh. “Thirty seconds.”
The man tuts as the doors slide closed at last and Logan drags me back to Adam's room.
“In here?” I ask, alarmed.
“Yeah, we don't keep secrets me and Ads.” He throws his brother a wink and I fight the urge to smile.
“Your thirty seconds are running out.”
Logan huffs. “Thirty seconds from now, yeah? Don't be a tight arse.”
“Don't call me that,” I snap, the temperature of my blood rising. The first night we had sex comes to mind and my mind grows fuzzy. Oh god. I can't let him disarm me.
“I needed time to sort some shit out, okay?” Logan says, pushing his fingers into his hair. “I know it wasn't cool to walk out without a word. I just needed some time to come to terms with what I did. And honestly, Darcy, I thought you were better off without having a killer in your bed every night.”
My shoulders drop as I see pain flash through his eyes. “Logan, don't. You can't think of yourself like that. Those men...” A chill creeps over my skin. “What they would have done, I can't even...” Tears burn my eyes but I hold them back, not wanting to fall into a pit of despair. Logan saved me. Nothing happened. Couldn't he understand how grateful I was?
Logan approaches me, his eyes on where my fingers are stroking the goosebumps on my arms. “I know, sweetheart.” He reaches out and cups my chin. Despite knowing his thirty seconds are up, I keep quiet. “I get that now. I fought it at first, I was angry more than guilty. And I thought there was something wrong with me because of it. But I realised...I'd do anything for you, Darce. Anything. It's fucking crazy because I've only known you a few weeks. But if I had to kill them all over again just so they wouldn't lay their hands on you, I would.” His hands curl into fists and I reach out to him.
“I love you, sweetheart. To the fucking moon and back. I didn't think I was even capable of this shit.” He runs a hand through his hair. “But here we are.”
I melt, falling forward into the arms I've craved for days on end. “Please don't walk away again.”
“Never. I swear it.”
He grips me tightly, his arms crushing me in the strongest embrace I've ever felt.
“Kiss her, bro.”
The voice startles us both and we snap around, finding Adam looking at us, bleary-eyed but definitely, definitely awake.
LOGAN
I'm either about to throw up or pass out. I settle on staggering my way to Adam's bed and falling to the floor with a grunt. Yeah, class act me. “Adam, holy fucking shit. Are you actually awake right now?”
I hear Darcy charging from the room, shouting for a nurse.
Adam's dark green eyes slide to mine and I can hardly breathe, blood flooding to my head.
Yeah. Definitely gonna pass out.
“Shit,” Adam slurs, blinking heavily. “You got old.”
I laugh or cry, I'm not sure which. Maybe both. “So did you, man.”
Every time he blinks a slow blink, I'm terrified he's gonna slip away again.
“Jesus, my head. What the fuck..?” Adam gazes around the room, slowly absorbing his surroundings.
I try to form a sentence, to piece together some sort of explanation for him. But how's he gonna take the news that he lost six years of his life?
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
My knees give way and I'm sure I'm a goner, my head swimming like I'm seeing through a heavy fog.
“Kira,” Adam breathes into the quiet space.
“Yeah, course, right.” Mr brain kicks back into gear as I whip out my phone and make calls to Kira and our mum. Adam watches me silently like he's as surprised to see me beside him as I am to see him awake.
My pulse pounds in my ears as the truth sinks in and the biggest grin takes over my face.
Jesus Christ, I've got my brother back.
¸.•*´♥`*•.¸
Kira gives a shocking display as she leaps onto Adam, kissing every inch of his face and purring - actually fucking purring – until the nurse demands she gets down. When she doesn't, I lift her into my arms, planting her beside the bed.
“Love you, kitty cat,” Adam says, his voice raspy.
“Love you, Ads,” she near-screams. “I waited for you. You know that, right?”
Tears stream from her eyes, spreading the feline eyeliner all over her face. “Log-an,” she chokes then throws her arms around me. “I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I blamed you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”
I tug her closer, the ache in my chest easing. “It's alright.”
When Mum steps into the room, the whole space falls quiet. Darcy keeps trying to make an escape but I keep her hand firmly clamped in mine. Whether she realises it or not, she's family now and she's not going anywhere.
Mum's face is stiff as a board and white as a sheet as she gazes at Adam. “My baby? Are you really awake?” She takes tentative steps forward and Adam tries to wave the nurse away that's testing his responses. His hand is floppy and weak but the girl gets the message and takes a step back.
“Mum? You alright?” he asks and she breaks down, crumpling over him and hugging him tightly.
“My baby boy. My baby. You're here, you're okay.”
My gut churns as I watch them, keeping distance from my mum, knowing I'm still the last person on earth she wants within a mile of her.
But when Mum grabs my hand and pulls me into the embrace, my insides are practically ripped apart with surprise.
Mum alternates placing kisses on Adam's cheeks and on mine. When she finally lets us go, she presses her mouth into my hair, pulling me into her shoulder. “I'm sorry I doubted you, my sweet boy. I've been such a bad mother.”
I crush her to me, emotion tearing at me. More than anything, I feel relief. Relief that he's awake, that my mother has finally forgiven me and that everyone I love in the world is in this one room with me. I meet Darcy's eye over her head and a smile creeps onto her face that tells me everything is going to be alright. And I know, at last, it finally will be.
LOGAN
One year later
It took Adam months of physiotherapy to walk again. And, once he could, he didn't waste any time knocking up Kira and putting a wedding ring on her finger. Making up for lost time, I guess.
We sit on the lawn outside their house, the one that had been waiting for him this whole time. I slide my arm around Darcy's shoulders, watching as she thumbs the engagement ring on her finger. The one I put there. And yeah, I'm smug as shit about it.
I'm out of the game at last, and our last job, the one we finished together, now paves the way of our future. I let her pick any house she wanted in London and she chose the one next door to this one. I bought the neighbours right out of their mansion. Adam had Mum move into an annex in this place, wanting her close after all the lost years they'd missed out on.
“How about Blossom?” Kira suggests, rubbing her large belly as she lounges in a plush garden chair. Adam massages her feet from the one beside it.
“Whatever you want, kitty.” He's a soft sack of shit since he woke up, acting like the world is brand new again.
“That's a stupid fucking name,” I remark and Darcy swats my arm. “What?” I give her a grin. “It is. I'm not having a niece called Blossom.”
“You can have a choice when it's your kid,” Adam shoots at me with a smug smile.
Mum's down in the garden, tending to the flowers. She always did love gardening and Adam says she spends more time out here than in the house since she moved in.
“Back me up, sweetheart.” I squeeze Darcy's shoulder and she gives me a mysterious smile.
“I dunno...I think Adam's right,” she says lightly, her hand dropping to her tummy.
“Uh oh,” Kira sings, beaming at my fiancée.
“What?” I say dumbly, definitely missing something here.
“Looks like you're in as much trouble as I am, bro.” Adam starts laughing and the blood drains from my face.
I snap around to Darcy. “You're not-?”
She nods, smiling shyly, ducking her head into my shoulder. “Are you mad?”
“Fuck,” I breathe, a rush of thoughts racing through my head. Shit, am I dad material?
“Logan?” Darcy prompts, glancing up at me with those steely grey irises of hers.
“Oh baby,” I sigh, dipping my head to give her the deepest kiss of her life.
“Fuck, bro. You trying to make another one already?” Adam says, evidently appalled by me tonguing the face off of my girl.
“One for now.” I pull away, kissing the tip of her nose as my heart swells to the size of Mount Everest.
“Just one?” she teases, her fingers winding into my shirt and making my heart race.
“As many as you want, Darce. As long as I get to name them.”
She giggles, climbing into my lap and dragging my hands onto her belly. I rub softly, slightly shell-shocked.
“Don't make the deal, Darcy,” Adam implores. “He'll name your kids after cars.”
“Hm, that's not a bad idea,” I say and Darcy shakes her head at me. “How far along are you?” I kiss her ear softly, my grin making my cheeks ache.
“Five weeks,” she breathes, fluttering her lashes. “Are you happy?”
“Happy doesn't cut it...” I clutch her hair, giving her a serious look. “If I combined every thrill I ever got off of stealing cars, it wouldn't even come close to how I feel right now.”
“Even the L1?” she says.
“P1,” I correct with a smirk.
She leans her head down to my ear. “Oh yeah...that's right. The one with the V8 twin turbo engine and top combined horse power of 908...915 tops.” Her tongue runs a circle around my ear but it's her words alone that get me rock hard. “Oh, and just so you know, I memorised a few other things about cars I thought you might like to hear.”
Adam rolls his eyes as I scoop Darcy into my arms.
“Where are we going?” she giggles wildly.
“For the ride of your life, sweetheart.”
She gives me a seductive look, clasping onto my neck. And all I can think is, the best thing I ever stole in this life, was Darcy Jenkin's closely guarded heart.
CONTINUE READING FOR A SNEAK PEAK OF DIRTY DARK DESIRE:
ANOTHER CRIMINAL BAD BOY ROMANCE!
AVAILABLE NOW!
***
If you enjoyed Dirty Dark Deceit, please take a moment to leave a review. An indie author like myself relies on the support of her beautiful, wonderful fans! Thank you :)
WANT TO BE THE FIRST TO KNOW WHEN THE NEXT BOOK IS OUT?
Why not join my VIP mailing list and I'll personally send you an email reminder as soon as it's released (I promise never to send you spam)
Join here:
http://bit.ly/2fIvc2A
For giveaways, sneak peeks, ARCs, freebies like me on FACEBOOK:
https://www.facebook.com/laceyalpha/
Follow me on GOODREADS:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/16046055.Lacey_Alpha
Visit my WEBSITE:
http://www.laceyalpha.wordpress.com
DO YOU WANT TO BE PART OF MY 'DREAM TEAM'?
WANT TO BE THE FIRST TO RECIEVE ARCs AND BE PART OF A COMMUNITY WORKING TOGETHER TO SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT MY BOOKS?
As a member of the Dream Team you'll get:
A free advance copy of all future Lacey Alpha books
Access to a private Facebook group where you'll connect with other super fans and be involved in discussions about the books and their promotion
The opportunity to give feedback on covers, prices and more
A special "thank you" in the 'acknowledgements' within the books themselves
The opportunity to shout and rave about the books you love and say you were the first to read them if I ever get famous (ha.ha)
In return, I'll ask for:
An honest review on Amazon for each new book
Any promotional ideas you might have to help build hype around the books
Your help spreading the word about the books on various social media sites
Interested in joining? Just email me at: [email protected]
Thanks for being a loyal fan of the series!
Love Lacey xo
ETHAN
The girl stands before me, screaming, fire consuming her body, devouring her Hepburn-pale skin, her cherry-red lips. The last thing that remains are her eyes, scorching into my soul, accusing.
You did this. You did this. You did this!
I wake, sweat pouring down my bare back, the sheets damp.
I roll out of bed, trembling, my fist clamped around the 9mm pistol I had on me that day: army issue, L1171A.
I drop it onto the bed and it bounces once. I should have gotten rid of it.
'Shoulda, woulda, coulda', my dad's favourite phrase chimes in my ear. Funny how some things never leave you. Even if you haven't seen the person who spoke them in nine years.
I walk across the large room, light streaming through the Victorian sash
window.
Mid-morning. Spring sunlight. It burns my eyes.
I sit at the desk beneath the pane, glancing down at the road. Londoners mill about, grabbing coffee, taking hurried phone calls, darting left and right through the street. The hum of the morning commute is in the air, car horns beeping, people pissed off about going to work and pissed off over the shitty lives they have to go home to. They don't know anything about real misery.
I bite the inside of my cheek, grating my teeth against the gum, wearing it away until it aches.
Picking up a pen, I flip open my journal.
I saw her again. You. It's the same every time. I have to remind myself of what's real and what's not. You're still here. You're probably on your second cup of tea this morning. You don't like coffee. But sometimes you drink it at that shitty cafe on the corner of Devon Street.
I wonder if you're there now.
I want to go there, to check. But I won't. I know I shouldn't.
⊱✿ ✿⊰
“How did it make you feel? Seeing her like that?” my therapist, Clarissa Sinclair, asks, crossing a leg over her knee. She has a short skirt on today. It's distracting. I don't want to sexualise her but it's difficult when she looks like that. Especially when we're talking about her: Annalise.
“What do you think? I felt like shit.” I scrape a hand through my hair. It's getting overly long again. When did I last cut it? Annalise cut her hair three weeks ago. I didn't like it. It was too short, nearly above her shoulders. But it's growing out again already.
“What ran through your mind when you woke up?”