In Place of Never

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In Place of Never Page 22

by Julie Anne Lindsey


  Our kisses deepened, desperate and delicious. Clothes piled on the floor, one piece at a time, awakening someone new in me. Faith was right. Physical love was worth waiting for, and Cross was the only man I’d want to share this moment.

  * * * *

  We dressed and curled together on my bed. Cross’s long frame encompassed mine. His arms held me close. “Still okay?”

  I pulled his arms tighter over mine. “Yeah.”

  “I didn’t come here tonight thinking…”

  I turned in his arms. “No. I know.” I licked my swollen lips. “I didn’t think. You know. Me either.” My cheeks burned. “It’s good. I’m glad.”

  A wide smile broke across his face. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” I kissed his chin and snuggled into his chest. “Very yeah.”

  He rested his cheek against the top of my head. “How was your day? Did you make it to the school?”

  My tummy rolled. “Yeah. I saw Sheriff Dobbs on my way back. He said he’s doing added patrols by the river. I think he saw the henna. We have to be careful.”

  He chuckled. “Definitely.”

  I tilted my chin for a look at him. “What?”

  Cross lifted onto his elbow, smoothing hair behind my ear. His dimple caved in. “I probably shouldn’t sneak inside while your dad’s asleep downstairs.”

  I smiled. “That would be dumb.”

  He kissed my hair and squeezed me. “It’s after three. I’d better get back.”

  “You have to leave?”

  He smiled. “I wish I didn’t. Maybe one day.” He shoved his feet into black boots and tightened the laces. “Does the sheriff plan on telling your dad about your visit to his place?”

  “No. He was cool. I think he worries about us. He and Dad are close and we lost Faith on his watch. That has to have an impact on him, right?” I slid to the bed’s edge and gathered a pillow in my arms. “Pru and I contacted some of Anton’s old girlfriends today.”

  Shock and confusion rolled over his features. “What? Why?”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Mouse is scary and Nadya doesn’t want her children with settled people. We wondered if they got rid of the women Anton cared about.”

  Confusion turned to disbelief in his tone. “So you contacted them? What did you say?”

  “I asked why they left the sideshow. Nothing personal or complicated, just why.”

  “And.”

  “Mazey was bribed. Lexi was threatened with pox and boils.” I inhaled. “Trina is dead.”

  Cross sat beside me. “What?”

  “She died in a car accident the day they left town without her.”

  Fury scorched his cheeks. “You think Nadya killed someone?”

  “No.” I grabbed his hand. “Not at all. I just…wondered. I thought maybe someone chased Faith away too.”

  He squeezed my hand and released it. “You’ve seen Mouse in action. That’s all she’s got. Weird words. Nothing else. And Nadya wouldn’t hurt anyone.” He opened my window and swung a long leg over the frame.

  Tears stung my eyes. “Don’t be angry.” Don’t ruin a perfect memory. Not you.

  He turned his heated gaze on me.

  “Cross. Please.”

  He grabbed my cheeks and kissed me protectively. Reassurance filled my soul. He rested his forehead to mine and caressed my cheek with one wide thumb. “I’m not angry. Not with you. I need to tell Anton about Trina, though. He’ll want to stop in her town and pay his respects. This news sucks in an enormous way. His mom shouldn’t have asked those girls to leave. How screwed up is that?”

  “I know.”

  He pressed his lips to mine. “Lock the window behind me.”

  “’Kay.”

  A smile curved my lips. I’d given him a part of me that no one else could have. He had the power to break my heart in ways I never dreamed, but I trusted him with that power.

  Cross stopped on the tree limb and cursed. “Someone’s down there.” He landed on our lawn a moment later and tore through the grass. I strained my eyes in the darkness, but they were gone. I locked the window and shut the curtain before sending him a text.

  “Tell me everything when you can.”

  Ten excruciating minutes later, he responded. “Lost him on Main Street. Get sleep. I’ll find you tomorrow.”

  I curled onto my side and wedged a Cross-scented pillow under my cheek. Even my skin smelled like him. Exhilaration mingled with worry. Who saw Cross climb out of my window? Why were they out there? Who would they tell?

  Chapter 19

  Scrapes

  The thing about time is that it’s evil. While I was wretched with grief and self-loathing, the minutes of every day stretched into eternity. Time dragged in endless, unchanging cycles of torture and regret. Not long ago, I woke up and the pain eased for five minutes. I became blissfully happy and time lurched forward, slipping through my fingers faster than I could hold on. I ached for more time, but there wasn’t more.

  I held the door to White Water Coffee open for Pru. She blinked at the blazing sunlight and pumped her straw through the thick, ice-blended coffee. “I can’t believe summer’s almost over. It just started.”

  “Not really. You have another month.” If only Cross had another month. I examined my henna-covered palm. The delicate lines lightened more every day. I wouldn’t miss hiding one hand from my new work-from-home dad, but they represented my time with Cross. Proof he was real. Soon enough, I’d wonder if I imagined him. I missed Cross already.

  Dad and his posse were at our house, plotting impenetrable plans in which the Lovells and other shows like theirs could never sully this fine town again.

  Pru pressed her ice-cold cup against my bare arm. “Why are you smiling?”

  “Hey!” I jumped. “Dork.”

  “Nerd.”

  A group of locals watched as we moseyed toward home. I pressed my arms to my sides, hoping my scars didn’t offend them. My fingers tugged the hem of my shorts. The few cuts I’d made on my thighs were light. Even with a tan, they were nearly invisible. “Are they looking at us?”

  Pru spun and stared. “I don’t know. Maybe. We are hot.”

  I laughed. “I’m not convinced that’s why they’re looking.”

  She shook her cup and tried the straw again. “Who cares?”

  I cared. Nothing good started with a group of gawking people.

  My mind wandered to Cross. Memories of his touch warmed my skin. He wanted me. Scars and all. Since that night, I’d braved my old wardrobe. Wearing shorts and T-shirts on sweltering days was liberating. I’d never appreciated temperature-appropriate attire before. Even with my scars unmasked, people mostly looked at my hair.

  A few girls gasped.

  Mark Dobbs jogged onto the sidewalk and froze. He cursed under his breath and his eyes narrowed on me. “I can’t seem to get away from you these days.” Red basketball shorts hung to his calves. His high-tops were unlaced. Everything about him was overconfident and assuming, like his T-shirt. White letters dared “Bring it.”

  I frowned but kept my mouth shut. Pru stepped off the sidewalk and into the street, I followed. No need to stand outside Red’s and argue about nothing.

  Mark called our names until we stupidly turned back. He widened his stance and pressed giant palms over his hips. A few people drifted into earshot, hoping for a showdown on Main Street, no doubt. Golden Boy Jr. verses the pastor’s daughters. Who would win? It was anyone’s fight.

  I sighed. “It was such a gorgeous day three seconds ago.”

  Mark shook his angry face. “Jesus, Mercy. I taunt you for being like your sister and instead of proving me wrong, you keep upping the game. You cut your hair now? Put on some short-shorts? Stupid.” He smacked his head. “So unbelievably stupid. Worse, you’re screwing the circus freak.”

  Pru snorted.

  I blanched.

  Mark scanned the crowd, steadily growing more frustrated and a
ngry.

  Pru’s snort was poorly timed.

  “That’s right, Prudence. You come from a long line of loose-legged ladies. I’d tell you to learn a lesson from them, but I heard about you and Jason already.” He tipped his head and shrugged. “Hey, at least he’s not a freak.”

  Pru stumbled back as if Mark had gutted her. She wasn’t made for confrontation. She smiled through schoolyard teasing and won people over with her charm. Mark wasn’t like the others, and he was way too old for a schoolyard. Mark was devious and enraged.

  I stepped in front of her. “Knock it off, Mark.”

  Shock registered in his cocky expression. He’d expected me to run. I would’ve if he’d left Pru out of it.

  “You were a nice girl once. What happened? What is it about those freaks?” He moved closer. “You’re all dressed up. No more hoodies and baggy jeans? Are you meeting your boyfriend?” He glanced over his shoulder at the little crowd of onlookers outside Red’s. “He’s kind of old for you, isn’t he? What do you see in him?” A flurry of emotions flashed through his eyes. “I don’t understand you. First you curl up and disappear. Disengage. Leave. Then the circus comes back to town and you’re out every day. You’re making house calls to anyone willing to talk with you about the most horrible thing that’s ever happened to St. Mary’s. You’re stirring up trouble, and you’re walking around like you have no effing clue. What is wrong with you?”

  I gaped. “My sister died.” I stood straighter, pressing back seething words. “Her death didn’t happen to St. Mary’s. It happened to me. I grieved and I’m healing. What I don’t understand is what any of it has to do with you. What’s your problem? Huh?”

  His eyes slid over me like I was naked. Could he tell what I’d done with Cross? Did someone know and tell him? I was different and somehow he could see it.

  I hadn’t told anyone, not even Pru.

  I wetted my lips and lowered my voice. “I don’t know why you hate me, and I’m sorry that you do, but you need to leave Pru alone.” Pru was stuck here with this lunatic for two more years. She shouldn’t have to navigate his wrath. “She’s never done anything to you.”

  He scoffed. “That’s right. You get to leave.”

  My forehead pinched. No one was stopping him, were they?

  A rumble inside Red’s drew my attention. Mark headed for the door, overcome immediately by a giant shadow with an awkward gait.

  Brady burst past him onto the sidewalk, slurring and staggering. “There you are.”

  Pru grabbed my elbow. “Uh-oh. Drunk before lunch again?”

  I couldn’t speak or move. Brady’s glassy eyes roamed over my bare limbs. Skin I hadn’t exposed in years ached for cover.

  He stumbled off the curb and nearly fell on me. “I loved her.” He lifted a finger to my hair and I stepped away. “You cut it just like her. Why?”

  I gathered my courage and ignored the blatant onlookers. “Time for a change.”

  Mark grabbed Brady’s arm. “Come on, man. People are staring.”

  I guffawed. “You didn’t mind them staring at me while you called Pru and me names.”

  Brady slapped Mark’s hands away. “You called her names?”

  “Nah. I just... I wanted her to go away. She’s freaking everywhere.”

  Brady’s long arms snapped out and grabbed my wrists. “Tell her I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make her sad. I didn’t mean for her to go. She didn’t believe me, but you believe me, don’t you?”

  His speed had caught me off guard. I wobbled into Pru, and she fell with a screech.

  Anton dashed out of Red’s and into the street. His hands clamped down on Brady’s shoulders. “Let her go.”

  Mark grabbed Anton and was deflected without comment, like a bug. Mark swore. Loudly.

  Brady’s head swung in a lazy arc, looking for the problem. His eyes widened. “You!” He growled. “You no good piece of… You ruined my life!”

  The door to Red’s swung open again. This time Cross appeared. Confusion turned to rage as he took in the scene. Pru sat on the ground, screaming for Brady to let me go. Brady’s huge hands formed shackles around my wrists, tugging and pushing me in time with his movements. Cross’s expression turned feral. He rushed into the mix, eyes blazing.

  Anton shoved Mark onto the pavement and focused on Brady. “Get your hands off her. Now.”

  Mark scrambled to his feet and went for Cross’s legs. His favorite football tackle. Except Cross lifted a knee into his mouth and Mark crumpled onto the pavement. Again.

  Pru jumped into the action, digging her nails into Brady’s fingers and my wrists. “Let her go!”

  Cross’s arm snapped back and rocketed forward, connecting with Brady’s chin, sending his weight into me.

  Pru landed on the ground a third time. Brady and I crashed over her like dominoes. The sick thud and crunch of bone meeting asphalt sent ice fingers over my neck.

  Tears sprang forward. “Pru?”

  Brady crawled onto his knees.

  I cradled Pru’s body in my arms as she cried.

  The four guys wrestled over the dotted yellow line and onto the sidewalk. Brady couldn’t walk a straight line, but he kept the punches coming. Cross took several hits, preoccupied with my safety.

  “Are you okay?”

  I rocked Pru and held her close. “Look out!”

  These were not the memories I wanted to share with my sister. What had happened to our lives?

  The sharp bark of a police siren split the air, rousing and directing more onlookers to the scene. The increasing crowd closed in on us, snapping pictures and recording the humiliation with their phones. Chaos filled the street.

  I pulled Pru to her feet and checked for cuts. She was dirty, embarrassed, and sore, but she’d live. Cross wrangled Mark’s arms behind his back and Anton blocked Brady’s sloppy punches with ease.

  Brady didn’t slow down when the police arrived. “She loved me. You should’ve left her alone. Why didn’t you leave her alone?”

  Anton grimaced. “I’m sorry, man. Calm down.”

  A deputy shoved his way into the mess and latched onto Cross’s arm with one hand. He pressed his free hand against his sidearm. “Let Mark go and step away, son.”

  Cross dropped Mark’s arms and stepped back, palms up, as if he’d done something wrong. As if he wasn’t defending two girls from two complete ogres.

  The deputy motioned to his cruiser. “Over there, son. I need your identification.” He turned to Brady with exasperation before raising his eyes to Anton. “Let him go.”

  At some point, Anton had twisted Brady into a sleeper hold.

  Brady fought with his words. “Arrest him,” he screamed. Fatigue decreased his struggle, but not his passion. “Arrest him. This son of a bitch ruined my life. Make him pay!”

  The deputy slipped between Anton and Brady. He instructed Anton to wait with Cross and then he turned to Pru and me. “You ladies okay?”

  We nodded.

  The deputy ran a hand through his hair. “Did Brady touch you?”

  Adrenaline spiked in my brain. I nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Did he hurt you?”

  I rubbed my aching wrists, unable to respond. A man had attacked me. Someone I knew. Devastation rolled through me. I never wanted to see the Dobbs boys again. Ever. I’d go ten blocks out of my way to avoid them.

  I wrapped an arm around Pru’s shoulders, wishing I could take her to college with me. Leaving her in town with them seemed stupid. Something was dangerously wrong with that family.

  The deputy approached me with a cocked eyebrow. “Do you want to press charges?”

  “What? No. I just want to go home.”

  He nodded. Something in his posture said this wasn’t the first time Brady had needed an intervention. The deputy lifted a phone to his lips. “Sheriff Dobbs?” The exchange between sheriff and deputy was dry and routine. “We’ve got a problem.”

 
No question. Just, “Brady?” Yeah. Brady had lost as much as I had and my heart ached for him.

  The sheriff’s cruiser rolled into place beside the deputy’s. People had scattered, probably finding more discreet locations for eavesdropping. Sheriff Dobbs exited his vehicle and moved to the rear. He opened the back door and glared at his boys. “Get in. I’m taking you home.” Mark and Brady climbed inside without a word. Sheriff Dobbs slammed the door.

  The deputy followed suit, opening his back door for Cross and Anton. Anton slid inside.

  Cross hesitated. “Where are we going?”

  The deputy placed a hand on Cross’s head, and tucked him into the backseat with Anton. “To the station.”

  I choked back a sob. “They didn’t do anything wrong!” Anger blinded me. All pretenses of the pastor’s daughter were gone. I didn’t care who heard me or what they thought. “They defended us. Mark and Brady Dobbs attacked us. Arrest them!”

  The deputy tipped his hat and maneuvered the cruiser into a three-point turn before driving away from us. My phone buzzed.

  Cross’s face lit the screen. “Don’t come. We’re fine.”

  Hot tears rolled over my cheeks. “Be careful.”

  I had no idea what the sheriff might do to get the Lovells out of town. Having two of their performers in custody was a good start to nothing good.

  Pru hugged me tighter. “Let’s go home.”

  We stepped over her spilled coffee and left the crushed cup in the street. Maybe a gawker would throw it away for us. I couldn’t be sure, but I assumed someone would. We’d given them a show. It was the least they could do in return.

  I shuffled home with Pru on my arm and a prayer in my heart. Let Cross be okay.

  Chapter 20

  The Song

  Dad met us at the door, keys in hand. The set of his jaw said he’d heard the news and was probably on his way to find us. He didn’t speak until we were inside. “Kitchen.”

  Pru went to the sink for a wet paper towel and pressed it to her skinned elbows.

  The relief in Dad’s eyes outweighed the anger and frustration. He pulled out a chair and sat. “So, girls, how was your coffee?” He’d reluctantly granted Pru permission to visit Mom and Faith with me, but we were to go straight there and come straight home. She’d negotiated coffee into the deal since it was on our way. He’d looked into Pru’s eyes and told her, “Nothing else. No shenanigans.”

 

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