by L. B. Dunbar
“Constantly,” she laughed, but then she was more serious. “You get used to it, though. It comes with the territory, and I wouldn’t trade him for anything despite the high energy. I know I’m really lucky he turned out okay.”
“What do you mean?”
Britton hesitated and I could tell she wasn’t sure if she should share this story.
“When he was still inside me, I had a scare.” My eyebrows rose, but I didn’t interrupt her.
“They found a lump on his brain. Something so minute, and probably nothing, but I had to be monitored. Or rather he had to be monitored. I needed more ultrasounds than necessary to watch the growth.”
She paused.
“I was young, and I was scared. I cursed God for making me have him alone. But it wasn’t God’s fault. Then I felt guilty that this might be the result. Thank God for Leo. He was calm and supportive. He paid for all the medical expenses when my parents refused, and let me tell you, multiple ultrasounds are not cheap.”
She looked at Gee, who kicked his feet off the side of the dock.
“Turns out it was nothing, thankfully. The growth seemed to disappear as he grew and was so minimal when he was born that the doctors weren’t worried. I was, though. At each of his checkups, I worried they’d find something that wasn’t developing at the correct time in the correct way. When he turned one, I finally let go. I felt relief that he’d survived a year, and so had I.”
“I’m sorry you were alone for all of that. His father is an asshole.” I meant to add more, but she stopped me with a stern look.
“Don’t. Don’t be sorry for me, because I’m lucky. I have a perfectly healthy son, and there are many people who don’t. And don’t curse his father. He was an ass, but he had his reasons, and I accept them.”
“Well, you’re a bigger person than I would be. I’d like to meet him and kick his ass for not being a man. Who could leave that?” I pointed at Gee who was making funny faces with his mouth opening and his eyes closing. Then he closed his mouth to twist it up and opened his eyes to cross them.
Britton laughed. “I’m sure he had his reasons.” She was looking at me again as if she wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure if she should. The roar of the boat engine broke the expression on her face, and Ethan and Ella pulled up next to the dock.
We took Ethan and Ella with us for a while, then returned them to Acme an hour or so later. The day was growing shorter already in the first full week of August, and I saw some hints of fall approaching. The tops of some trees on the north side of the lake had changed from green to bright red or light orange. I let the boat gently rock and Gee seemed lulled to sleep, lying on the back bench, sprawled out in the late afternoon sun.
Britton sat across from me in the front of the boat and I eventually reached forward to take her hands. I rubbed them softly, slowly caressing her skin in a circular pattern. I pulled her index finger toward me and then moved onto the next one.
Britton moaned. “That feels amazing,” she whispered.
I repeated the action twice on each hand and then turned her hand over, continuing the massage on her palm. When I was finished, I lifted each hand toward my mouth and kissed her open palms.
She looked dazed when my eyes met hers. I had been concentrating on her hands as I worked them. They were small and I felt she needed protection, no matter how emotionally strong she came across to me. Her eyes glowed deep blue to match the color of the water, and I moved forward on the bench to kiss her. She was leaning toward me and I had that familiar sensation. I loved that she felt drawn to me when I moved toward her. My lips were almost on hers when we heard a sleepy voice.
“Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.”
I sat back as if I was caught doing something I shouldn’t, and Britton hung her head, disappointed. She removed her hands from mine.
“Okay,” she said to the floor of the boat.
“I got it.” I stood. “Here, little man. I’ll show you how we do it captain style.” I made Gee stand at the end of the boat and I helped him find his balance, leaning on the back for support.
Gee gazed at me hopefully. He would do whatever I said with that look.
“Now, we take it out, and pee off the side of the boat.”
“I can’t do that.” Gee laughed.
“Why not?”
Gee looked at me a moment and then shrugged, “I don’t know.”
“Don’t look,” I called over my shoulder to Britton, and I pulled myself out to pee over the edge. It wasn’t the most mature behavior, but the look on the little boy’s face was pure fascination and glee.
Gee repeated the motion himself as I commented. “Guy code, little man. Never look at another guy as you pee, okay? Like when you go to the boy’s room.”
Gee was quiet for a moment as he finished.
“I don’t go to the boy’s room. I go to the girl’s room with Mommy. She won’t let me go into the boy’s room without another boy, like Ben.”
It was the strangest conversation; one that made me realize this boy needed a father, or at least a man, to teach him boy things. And he didn’t have one.
When we returned to the harbor, I wasn’t ready for Britton and Gee to leave. As we unloaded the boat, I asked Britton if they would like to join me for dinner.
“Dinner?” she laughed, “I’m still full from lunch.”
“How about some ice cream?” Anything, I thought. I remembered she liked mint chocolate chip ice cream.
“No, thank you, Gavin. We should probably…”
“I’d like ice cream,” Gee said to no one in particular.
I looked at Britton over Gee.
“Sold out by my own kid again,” she smiled.
“I swear I didn’t plan this one,” I whispered loudly to her.
We carried her things to her car and walked down River Street to the small town ice cream shop. I would have loved to reach for Britton and hold her hand, but after the near kiss on the boat, I wasn’t sure I should. It was strange to be around a woman with a child. I hadn’t considered dating someone who was a mother before, but I considered it now, and often.
Britton always seemed wiser, older beyond her years, and having a child young had only increased that wisdom. On the other hand, I wondered when she had fun and celebrated being twenty-five years old.
As we waited outside the ice cream store, while Gee ate his pink-blue-and-yellow colored Superman flavored ice cream, Katie and Emily walked up to us.
“Hey guys,” Emily smiled. “Katie, remember Gee from the fireworks?”
Katie smiled and looked at Gee.
“What are you up to tonight?” she asked, looking at Britton.
“We just had a wonderful day on Gavin’s boat and Gee is getting a treat before dinner and we head home.”
Emily looked at me briefly then back at Britton.
“Want to come over for dinner tonight?”
“We can’t,” Britton said quickly before I could answer.
Emily scrunched her eyebrows. “Okay. How about tomorrow night? It’s the last night before my sister and her family arrive, and Gavin and I need to discuss some of the last minute wedding set-up anyway.” Britton looked at me. I had told Britton about the wedding and Emily’s vision, and how I offered to help.
“Well, I don’t want to impose. It’s family time for you before your big day with Jess,” Britton said hesitantly.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to come. It will be fun, won’t it Katie?” she said as she addressed Jess’ daughter; her future daughter.
“Gee will come over, too, right?” Katie looked at Gee.
“Of course,” Britton sighed. “We would love to come to dinner. What can I bring?”
When the particulars were discussed and we said our good-byes, I looked over my shoulder at Emily as we walked away. Thank you, I mouthed, to which Emily responded by blowing me a kiss.
Take 27
Under the Moonlight
I couldn’t have been happier to see Emily after my run to the barn to discuss her wedding plans further. I wanted to thank her again for inviting Britton and Gee to dinner, but she didn’t show up at the Town Tavern when I went with Ethan and Ella to meet Jacob and Pam during the night. I hadn’t wanted Britton to leave the day before, but I would settle for another date of dinner at Jess and Emily’s home tonight. It was dangerous to keep seeing her since I was leaving in a week, but I was enjoying her company and getting to know Gee.
I arrived early at Jess’ to find Emily setting a table in the backyard. She had a fairytale kind of yard filled with fall flowers and a tiny playhouse for Katie. It was hard to imagine Jess living in such a place until I saw how happy he was when he looked at Emily. He loved her and it showed, despite his hooded appearance at times.
Emily hugged me and returned to setting the table.
“Thanks again,” I said.
“You’ve already thanked me like twenty times. It’s no big deal.” She paused for a moment. “You really like her, don’t you?”
“Yes. But it’s more than that. We have a history together and I want to get to know her again.”
“You need to be careful, Gavin,” she said, warningly. “I’ve been in your place. You aren’t from here anymore and if you don’t plan to stay, you shouldn’t be getting in over your head. Trust me.”
I knew the general story of Emily and Jess. She had come to check on her grandmother the summer before. She was concerned after some strange phone calls from her nana and from the neighbor, Sue Carpenter. When Emily arrived, she learned that her grandmother was suffering from severe dementia, if not undiagnosed Alzheimer’s.
In the meantime, Emily had encountered Jess on several occasions to help repair an old radio, fix the kitchen sink, and tend to some other household needs. When Emily met Katie, the little girl was speechless due to a dramatic incident with Jess’ witch of an ex-wife. Emily became overinvolved and tried to help. In the process, she and Jess fell in love. Of course, the catch was that Emily lived in Chicago, not Elk Rapids. This part was unclear to me.
“What happened? How did you decide to come back here?”
“It was easy. I knew I loved him.”
“Why did you leave, then?”
“Miscommunication. I wanted him to ask me to stay, and he didn’t. So I thought he didn’t really want me. I went home, but I missed him. And I missed Katie. When I was fortunate enough to get my first assignment to cover the history of my own grandmother, I came back.” She laughed at the memory.
“He had rented my home, and I was a crazy woman thinking he was sharing it with someone else.”
“But I rented it for her, hoping she would come back to me,” Jess said from his place against the screened-in back porch.
Emily walked over to him and kissed him.
“And here you are,” I said. Happily ever after, I thought, just like the movies.
Emily went inside for something and Jess took over the conversation as he handed me a beer.
“She’s right though. You do need to be careful.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I took a long swallow. I knew I was in for another lecture somehow.
“Britton has a kid, man. This isn’t Zoe or some Californian fling.”
“I never had a fling on Zoe,” I interrupted.
“That’s not the point. This is a single mother. And take it from me as a single dad; you have more to think about than yourself. It’s not just you who can get involved, it’s the kid, too.” Jess had clenched his jaw and his denim blue eyes darkened as he looked at me. He wasn’t joking around with me. This was a firm warning.
“I get it.”
“Do you? Because I think you’re lost in a moment; a memory of a time long over that you want to regain before you return to Hollywood. But what you’ll leave behind isn’t just a broken-hearted woman, Gavin. It’s a broken-hearted woman with a child who has a broken heart, too.”
I was suddenly defensive.
“Is that what happened to you? Did she break your child as well?”
“No, she fixed her. Taught her to love and trust another woman, and for that I loved her. But it was more than that. I needed someone to love and trust in me in spite of being a single dad, not because of it.”
I didn’t know how to respond. Was I attracted to Britton at the moment because I thought she was unobtainable as a single mother? Was it that I knew I’d never commit to her, and by leaving soon, it was the perfect excuse to not be a part of her life, or her son’s? I didn’t know. I didn’t think that was true, but I knew I had been selfish on many occasions in the past. Thankfully, I didn’t have time to think about it further because Britton arrived with Gee.
Emily came out the back door and hugged Britton immediately, and I had a vision of the four of us as friends with these two young children between us. But the vision passed and I stood to embrace Britton. I fist-bumped Gee who was invited by Katie to come inside and play. The two children were roughly the same age.
“How old is he again?” Emily asked.
“Six.”
“And you had him last year,” she joked. “You don’t look that old yourself.”
“I’m twenty-five. I was eighteen, almost nineteen when I had him.”
“That must have been hard,” Emily looked at Britton with softness in her eyes. “When’s his birthday?”
“April 17th. But he was born a little earlier than predicted. He was due in May, but he was getting too big for me to carry. I think he was just ready for the world.”
I didn’t know the math of pregnancy, so for me it simply meant she’d gotten pregnant by someone shortly after I left that summer in July. My jealously flared that she found someone so quickly after I returned to California. I was being a hypocrite, though, for my own actions.
“April. That means you got pregnant in August,” I bit as I took a drink of my beer and looked at her over the lip of the bottle.
“Actually, I got pregnant in July. You’re pregnant for almost nine full months, making the baby due at the start of the tenth.”
I choked on my drink. What? I felt betrayed. Here I had always felt guilty about the night at the bonfire with the other girl, that brief make-out session, and Britton might have been pregnant with someone else’s kid. I recalled her words, “I was hoping to talk to you,” and the way she looked at my old friend, Reese. Was Reese Stover the father? I hadn’t seen or heard from him in years. That bastard.
I finished the rest of my beer in one gulp and quickly reached for another. I was relatively silent during dinner, listening to the conversation around me, but not actively participating in it. Emily talked about the plans for the barn, and I zoned out since I knew all these details already.
“What kind of wedding would you like, Britton?” Emily blurted out. A horrified look crossed over her face and she apologized to Britton.
“I’m so sorry. That was insensitive of me,” she said.
“No, it’s fine. I never really thought about it much after it didn’t happen,” she tried to laugh to break the tension. “I guess I always imagined a church wedding, or a beautiful garden like your back yard. But I love the beach, and I can envision getting married there. I always thought it would be romantic to have a night wedding. Under the moonlight.” She paused to look down at her hands in her lap, and my eyes were narrowed on her.
“What?” I growled in a whisper.
“Under the moonlight. It would be romantic to have the moon over the wedding ceremony, like an ancient ritual or something.” She looked at the other adults at the table.
“It’s silly, isn’t it?” she laughed again nervously and bit her lip as she pushed her hair behind her ear.
“It’s beautiful,” Emily sighed. We were all quiet for a moment. “I can’t wait for you to see our wedding.” Emily smiled, and Britton looked up at Emily.
“Oh, I’m not…”
“You’re coming, aren’t you?” Emily looked at me,
horrified again. “I just assumed…” she let her voice trail off.
“Well, I was going to ask her to be my date tonight, but you stole my thunder.” I attempted a smile at Emily. She was helping my cause, but she was going too far. I had planned to ask Britton to be my date, and I would have asked her last night if she had stayed in town longer. I was fighting the jealousy of an old friend who’d obviously fathered her child, though. I sighed internally. I still wanted to spend time with Britton, and I still wanted her to be my date for the wedding.
“Oh, I think Gavin feels put under pressure. It was nice of you to ask, but I’m sure Gavin has other plans.” Britton was rambling quickly to recover for the awkward invitation.
“Can I talk to you a moment?” I growled and hastily stood, pushing the chair back that didn’t slide easily in the grass. I walked to the side of the house, out of sight of the others.
It took Britton a moment to come around the house, and my patience was thin.
“What is your problem?” she started.
“I was planning to ask you, so don’t come up with this lame excuse that I had plans.”
I was almost yelling, and I had to bring my voice down towards the end of my rant.
“Well, you seemed to be worked up about something more than that?”
“How could you sleep with Reese Stover?” I blurted.
“What?” She flinched. “How dare you? I never touched him. Ever.” She turned to walk away, but I grabbed her arm and pinned her back against the house.
“Who’s Gee’s father?”
“None of your business if you’re going to be like this,” she growled.
I stared at her fiery blue eyes for a moment, recognizing her determination to not answer me.
It both pissed me off, and turned me on. I leaned forward and kissed her hard. Our lips clashed and fought against each other. Suddenly, she pushed my chest with her hands, but I couldn’t let her go.
“Fu…” I stopped her press with a firm kiss. I didn’t take my lips off hers as I muttered, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” My hands were in her hair and on her cheeks, and I was making her kiss me. She finally gave in and kissed me back just as deeply. She bit my lip, and I pressed my hips into her, plastering her against the house with my body. I sucked her bottom lip and she leaned toward me, pressing herself into me. We moved together and kissed, and kissed, and kissed. My hands were on her lower back, and hers were gripping my biceps. It was aggressive and raw, and I felt like we couldn’t get close enough to each other. Tugging, and pulling, pressing lips and hips together. When I finally pulled back at the sound of the screen door slamming, I pressed my forehead against hers.