by L. B. Dunbar
Britton stayed the entire day and took another turn talking to Mum. While the others were running out of things to say, Britton seemed to have the energy to jabber on about anything. Ella and she were in the room alone this time, and Ella was softly crying again. Ethan entered the room, but returned shortly after, alone.
“What’s going on in there?” I asked with my head resting back on the wall behind my chair.
“Death,” Ethan said and started to giggle. “That wasn’t funny,” he chuckled more.
I only smiled weakly.
“I’m so tired; I’m losing it,” Ethan groaned.
“Why don’t you leave for a while?”
Britton had offered that anyone who wanted a shower or a nap could use her home. The hospital was in Traverse City and was closer to her house than going back to the farm. We all politely refused, but I was happy with the offer anyway. I knew that everyone was afraid to leave and miss Mum’s last breath.
“I can’t go,” Ethan moaned, “but I’m gonna send Ella with Britton tonight. I hate to send her away, but I can’t take it anymore. She needs comforting as much as me, and my strength is running out. Britton’s in there describing some fantasy wedding or something under the moonlight on the lake, blah, blah, blah, and Ella’s just sobbing again.” Ethan scrubbed his hands across his face.
I was suddenly alert and looking at my brother.
“What was she saying?” I asked softly.
“She was describing a dress and a veil, and a dark sky with moonlight reflected on the water.” Ethan looked at me, narrowing his eyes. I closed mine and could see it in my mind, just like I could see it before. She was dressed like a medieval mythical creature on the edge of the water, and the moon was the only light for the ceremony. She’s joined by a man, who holds her hands as she promises she will love him all the days of her life.
“Did she say it was me that she was marrying?” I asked softly.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t in there that long,” Ethan replied, and I realized she was only trying to paint a picture for my mother. She was giving Mum hope that Britton would marry, even if she never mentioned me by name; letting my mother imagine that it might be our future.
Ella did leave with Britton that night and Ethan said he would call her if anything happened. At a little after midnight, on what was officially a Tuesday morning, he called Ella with the news that Sara Scott had passed. Britton would have to explain to Gee that his grandmother had gone above the rainbow.
Take 39
Under the Moonlight
Ethan picked Ella up and dropped me off at Britton’s around three in the morning. I looked beat up.
“There was nothing more I could do for my dad tonight, and I’m so tired,” I said as I looked at Britton. I was only planning to take a minute to talk to her, but I surprised everyone, including myself, when I asked Britton if I could stay with her.
“I just need to be near you,” I whispered to her as she hugged me tightly with her arms around my neck. Ethan understood and said he would be back in the morning to pick me up for whatever the next day entailed.
Britton took my hand and led me to her room. She sat me on her bed and tugged off my sweatshirt and t-shirt.
“I need a shower, but I’m too tired,” I said softly.
“You smell fine,” she whispered.
She made me lay back and unbuttoned my pants. I grabbed her hand.
“I dream of this nightly, but tonight I’m too tired, and I never, ever thought I’d say that to you.”
She laughed softly.
“I’m not trying anything.” She smiled as she pushed me back down to remove my pants. She hardly had them off and I was asleep.
I awoke with a start and clutched Britton in my arms. It took me a moment to realize where I was or to even remember coming to her home. We were contoured together as we often were when we slept, and she was holding my arm that was braced between her breasts.
“What time is it?” she grumbled softly, and I turned to look at the clock on the nightstand. Ten. I had slept soundly, and it took minutes to register that my mother had died. It was Tuesday and I was supposed to be in California.
“Shit,” I rolled from the bed and slipped on my jeans.
“What?” she said, turning toward me.
“I was supposed to have a meeting in California at ten.” I paused. “Wait, it’s seven there, but still.” I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and dialed the number for Joe Scanlon’s office.
“Joe Scanlon’s office, may I help you?”
“Mr. Scanlon, please.”
“May I ask who’s calling?”
“Gavin Scott.”
There was a pause as I was put on hold.
“Gavin?”
“Mr. Scanlon, I hate to do this, but I won’t make our meeting today. Could we reschedule for next week?” My eyes shot up to meet Britton’s as she lay on her bed watching me.
“I’m a busy man, Mr. Scott.”
I ran a hand over my face and through my hair as I stood to pace while I spoke.
“I’m still in Michigan. My mother died. She had breast cancer and she died last night. I won’t be home for a few more days.” Britton was watching me and I looked directly at her.
There was a pause on the other end of the phone.
“Of course. Family first; that’s my motto,” he said. “I have an opening next Monday morning or Friday, September 25.”
“September, no. Next Monday.”
“Six a.m. too early?”
“Six a.m. is fine.”
“See you then, and I’m sorry about your mother.”
I hung up without breaking my gaze from Britton. She smiled half-heartedly at me and climbed out of bed. For a moment, I thought she would come to me, but she walked out of the room and closed the door to the bathroom in the hall.
Ethan picked me up and the two of us returned to the hospital to complete the final paperwork needed. We met our father at a funeral home and went through the motions of the day numb and sleep deprived. I wanted to think of Britton, but I couldn’t. I felt like Ethan had the day before. I didn’t have the mental strength for anything more. After the funeral arrangements were made, I crawled up the creaking wooden steps of the farmhouse and threw myself face down on the bed, hoping for sleep. But the first thing I encountered was a strong whiff of Britton’s smell on my pillows as she had been the last to sleep in this place. I inhaled deeply and wrapped my arms around the pillow, losing the battle with tears again.
I woke hours later to find a kitchen full of women and food. The house was being taken over with female well-wishers, and I already needed an escape. I dressed for a run and made it to the barn in record time. It had been restored to its original emptiness and I pushed the large door open to sit and admire the view. I was numb everywhere, and I needed the landscape to calm me. I looked at the cherry trees glistening from the overnight rain. The water on the lake was completely still, as if a person could walk across it. The sun was peeking out of the heavy clouds and it gave the view a heavenly feeling. I was starting to feel peaceful when my phone beeped.
“Where are you?” Ethan whispered into the phone.
“At the barn,” I replied in an exaggerated whisper.
“I’ll be there in fifteen with a twelve.”
True to his word, Ethan arrived fifteen minutes later and tossed me a beer before he even sat.
“Whatcha doing here?” he asked, sitting next to me on the dirty wooden floor. He looked out at the view and seemed to know the answer.
“Hiding, I guess.”
“Amen,” Ethan said and clinked his beer bottle onto mine, making the beer surge upward. “The house is like a female fest all of the sudden. And they’re all old or hitting on me, despite Ella. It’s ridiculous.”
Ethan’s phone rang next. He looked at the screen.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“Jacob.”
“Answer it.”
“Hello
.”
-
“I know.”
-
“At the barn, but don’t tell anyone. Bring another twelve.”
-
“See ya.”
“What did he say?” Gavin asked.
“He wanted to know how to escape all those women.”
Another fifteen minutes later Jacob arrived with a bottle of Scotch.
“Holy shit. Where did all those women come from?” Jacob sat next to Ethan and passed the bottle to him.
“Who knows,” Ethan choked out on his first swig straight from the bottle.
“Pam said the local church ladies make meals for the sick or dying, but there is more food in your kitchen than a hundred living souls could eat,” Jacob said and took the bottle from Ethan.
We chatted casually for a few minutes, commenting further on the number of women and the takeover of our kitchen, when Jacob finally asked about Britton.
“She’s probably the only woman not in that kitchen.” He sipped from the Scotch bottle and the barn fell quiet.
“Uh-oh, what did I say?” he teased in a playful voice.
“Nothing,” I answered.
“Gavin just found out he’s the father of a six-year old with Britton.”
“Whoa, how does that happen?” Jacob patted his stomach. “That’s some powerful sperm to get a six-year old.”
Ethan snorted as he took another swig from the bottle, and I only shook my head.
“No, I guess I had a boy six years ago with Britton, only I didn’t know. And now I don’t know what to do about it?”
“It?” Jacob choked. “It is a little boy,” he added firmly.
“I mean the situation.”
“What’s the problem?”
“I live in California and she lives here.”
“Do you love her?”
“I…” I had to pause. I was certain I loved her again, but I was still having trouble reconciling what had happened; the years of dishonesty. I knew I could love her again, but I couldn’t comprehend how she could make love to me and still hold back the truth. Then last night I’d spent the night with her, certain that I needed her, and positive that I couldn’t live without her, but she ignored me this morning.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, first you have to figure out if you do. Let me tell you, I wasted years not realizing I loved Pam and I regret the time lost. I was in a horrible relationship that I didn’t even recognize was abusive to me, and here she was patiently waiting. Well, I don’t know if waiting is the right word, but definitely wanting.”
He took another drink from the bottle and swallowed deep.
“But when I finally got my head out of my ass and she showed me how love should be, I immediately promised her I would spend the rest of my life making up for the lost time.”
I hung my head and I could feel Ethan’s eyes on me.
“What about the distance?”
“What about it? I have a home in New York, but I write here. When Pam has a break, we go to New York, or I go without her. Which come to think of it, never happens. We just work it out. We make it work. I don’t like to be without her.”
I appreciated his honesty, but I was rather shocked by it. Jacob seemed intense and allusive, and yet he seemed rather open about his feelings for Pam.
“How did you finally know you loved her? You said you were in another relationship.”
“Pam showed me.” He narrowed his eyes at me, but there was mischief in them. I could only imagine.
“Oh man, you just ruined it for me,” Ethan smirked.
“You can’t possibly still have a crush on Pam,” I said.
“Well, she was my fantasy for years.”
“She’s pregnant with my child and going to be my wife,” Jacob scowled.
“I’m just teasing,” Ethan said, but shook his head at me when Jacob looked away negating what he’d just told Jacob.
“What was it like to find out she was pregnant, not being married?” I felt the alcohol loosen me up to ask such a question. I remembered how Jess felt when it happened to Debbie. He’d been miserable.
“Amazing. Pam was crying. She was so upset, but I wasn’t worried for a moment. I knew I wanted to marry her before that and I wasn’t concerned, because I knew we could do it as long as we were together.” Despite his hard rocker looks, Jacob was beaming with pride.
I had to figure things out with Britton, but I had to make it through Mum’s funeral first. Then I had to go back to California and straighten things out with Zoe, which made me realize I hadn’t called her. There was also the rescheduled meeting with Joe Scanlon. I couldn’t try working in visits with Gee.
A soft voice suddenly filled the empty barn.
“Jacob?”
The three of us turned to see Pam and Ella.
“Hey, Lilac. How did you find us?”
“I followed the smell of alcohol,” she laughed.
“I promised I wouldn’t drink and drive,” Jacob said sheepishly.
“That’s why I’m here. Take me home, Jacob,” she said softly as she approached. Despite her baby bump, her voice was seductive, and Jacob narrowed his eyes at her.
“Whatever you want, Lilac,” he said and scrambled to his feet to embrace her. He looked at me and rubbed his hands over Pam’s slightly swollen belly.
“You’ll never know what you’re missing,” Jacob said as he looked at me.
The night was growing darker as I got in the car with Ella and Ethan. Jacob’s words about Pam were still ringing in my head.
I wasted years not realizing I loved...
I promised her I would spend the rest of my life making up for the lost time…
Take me home…
It was well past the dinner hour and I hadn’t eaten all day. With the run and now the alcohol, I needed some of the food that could feed a hundred. When we arrived at the farm, the female party had dissipated and all that remained were Karyn, Ella and Mary Carter.
“Oh man,” Tom said as soon as he saw us, “How could you do this to me?” He pulled a bottle from the nearly empty twelve pack, popped the cap, and drank the whole thing in one gulp.
“Attractive,” Karyn moaned.
“Impressive,” Ethan said, and he wrapped his arms around Ella.
I filled a plate and took it to my room. I ate quickly and picked up the pillow to inhale Britton’s summer scent again. I pulled out my phone and called her.
“Hello.”
“Britton, it’s Gavin.”
Silence.
“So I just wanted to let you know the wake is Thursday evening and the funeral is Friday morning. Due to the expected size of the funeral, we’re having the wake at the church in town.”
I heard a shuffling in the background and a muttered shhhhhh.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing. What time is everything?” she asked. There was more fumbling and the definite rustle of sheets.
“Are you alone?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean it sounds like someone’s in bed with you.”
“Don’t insult me, Gavin.”
“I’m not insulting you.”
Silence. I ran a hand over my face. It felt like every time we talked we ended up fighting.
“I need you,” I whispered into the phone.
Silence, then Britton asked, “Have you been drinking?”
“Yes,” I breathed and closed my eyes.
“Okay, I’ll see you Thursday, Gavin. Get some rest.”
I heard her speak to someone in the background, “I’ll be right there, baby,” and it was like a déjà vu of my time with Zoe. My heart raced with jealousy and I hung up the phone. I skipped down the stairs and found the old truck keys in the basket on the piano. I didn’t answer anyone as I jumped into the truck and backed hastily around the other cars in the drive. Mud spattered up from the dirt road as I drove like a man on a mission down US 31 and around the lake bend to her home on
the other side.
I banged on the door, which shook on its hinges. The light for the porch momentarily blinded me when it sprang on, but the door didn’t open. I had my hand in the air, ready to knock again, when it suddenly swung wide and Ben stepped back.
“Hey, Gavin. Easy,” Ben had his hands in the air, too.
“Where’s Britton?” I demanded.
“In bed.”
“Isn’t it a bit early for bed?” I snarled as I brushed past Ben.
“I don’t think it’s such a good idea for you to go storming in there.” Ben was behind me as I crossed the small living room in five steps. I pushed open the door to Britton’s room to find the soft bedside light on and Britton sitting up in bed with a book, a body next to her under the covers.
“What the hell?” she said to me as I said, “Who is he?” at the same time. I stepped toward Britton, who swung her legs from the bed and body-blocked me. She placed her hands on my chest and I knew she could feel my heart racing under my skin.
“Gavin,” she said my name in that sultry tone of hers and my eyes snapped to look at hers.
“It’s only your son, Gavin.”
I looked over her shoulder to see that the body was that of a child, his back to us.
“What?” I ran a hand through my hair and sat in the wicker chair with a thud, making it creak.
“He’s scared lately. He’s dreaming that I’ll die, like your mum did.” I blinked at her attempt to use a British accent and pronounce mum correctly.
“He’s worried that I’m going to die and he doesn’t have anyone to take care of him.”
“I would take care of him,” I said and I looked up at Britton to assure her that I would never let anything happen to the boy. Ever.
I looked at the bleach blond hair on the pillow and the tiny frame under Britton’s blankets.
“I heard you rustle the sheets and call someone ‘baby’, and I just thought…” I slid my hand over my face again. I hung my head and she stepped across the room to stand in front of me.
“Did you think I was in bed with someone else?”