I’m sorry. The little dots appeared right away, indicating she was replying to the message, but it took forever before she hit send.
No need to be sorry. About anything. We both got what we wanted. That was it. Succinct, with no damn emotion, and I couldn’t help the huff of laughter that escaped—Mikki truly believed that’s what I wanted, and I had no one to blame but myself. I’d given her no reason to believe otherwise because, for the most part, it was true.
I knew I should have been ecstatic that a woman was, for once, not asking, pushing, or begging for more than I was willing or able to give her. But I wasn’t, dammit. Fine, but I am sorry that things are awkward between us now. I could never regret my time with Mikki, it was too incredible to regret or forget, but I hated that it might have ruined things for good.
They aren’t awkward and they don’t have to be.
I didn’t even know what the hell that meant and I was pretty sure that if I did, I wouldn’t like it much. But it feels awkward, I wrote back, silently commanding her to explain her words.
That’s because you think I’m hurt over some perceived slight. Rest your pretty little head that I’m fine, Nate. Totally fine.
I didn’t believe her, but those words played in my head in that sweet southern twang she had that wasn’t like any accent in Texas and I couldn’t help but smile. You think I’m pretty?
You know you’re gorgeous, Nate. I’m sure plenty of women have told you so before. Good night.
It was yet another reminder of who she thought I was. Of who I had been when it came to every woman I’d ever gone on a date with or took to bed. Until now. What made the rich girl from Mississippi different, I had no clue, but I went to sleep with the smile still on my face, anyway.
Mikki
Garbage. That was the first word that came to mind as soon as I woke up this morning. The first thing I noticed was my scratchy throat which I, of course, attributed to spending a few hours in a smoke-filled bar. But I wasn’t worried, because it happens sometimes and I’m not as young as I used to be. Then I stood and snapped my eyes shut as pain lanced behind my eyes and a wave of dizziness made my knees wobble.
“Ugh, I hate being sick!”
Hoping a hot shower would help, I stumbled into the bathroom and cranked the shower to the hottest setting before I stepped under the spray, willing the dizziness to pass and trying desperately not to think about my encounter with Nate last night. What was his deal, anyway? I was keeping a low profile in town, showing up at Big Mama’s diner or Texican’s for lunch just to keep the tongues from wagging, but otherwise keeping mostly to myself. I’d even begged off a barbecue at Penny’s house and another gathering at Bo’s. All in the name of keeping the peace.
Of making things less awkward.
And instead of being grateful for what I had done, for what I was willing to sacrifice to keep the peace, what does Nate do? Makes things awkward. Jerk. That was always the case with men, wasn’t it? They never, or rarely, faced any real consequences for their actions. Nope, that was reserved for women.
Women like me.
“Enough,” I shouted into the empty bathroom and turned off the shower with an angry grunt. I didn’t have time to think about Nate or any other man, not when I had to figure out how on earth I would make it through a full day of work when I felt like garbage. It had to be done because I didn’t have a choice—an oversight on my part, I realized as I sat down at the kitchen table with a cup of ginger mint tea, scribbling a note to remind myself to find a part-time worker for the shop.
The tea had done very little for my throat or my head. Or the dizziness. Which meant I would have to make it through the day any way I could, and that meant comfort. I bypassed the cute little flirty dresses I usually favored because you can’t have a boutique owner who dressed like a gym teacher, choosing a pair of dark jeans with a dark green tank top and cardigan set, with matching green ballet flats. It wasn’t my usual outfit, but it was comfortable and there was no risk of me tumbling over in a wave of dizziness.
Dressed and still feeling like crap, I decided to drive to work, taking advantage of the parking spot in back that was included in the price of my rent. I rarely drove to work because Tulip was small and safe, and because I always enjoyed a walk to clear my head at the start and end of each day. Since there was no chance of my head being clear today, I enjoyed the quick drive and slipped into the back entrance just fifteen minutes before the doors opened.
Thankfully, the day was mostly busy, with tourists walking up and down the main drag, taking advantage of sales and buying up trinkets to commemorate their vacation. It was a steady flux of customers, never a big rush or a long lull, so I didn’t have time to think about anything too closely. Just recommend colors and styles, ring up orders, bag them and send the customers on their way with well-wishes. It was easy enough, but took about every ounce of energy I could muster up.
When lunch time rolled around, I contemplated closing up for the day, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. It was bad business and unprofessional—not to mention I had a feeling it would draw the attention of the matchmakers in town. Not that I was worried they’d turn their sights on me, but that they would interrupt their matchmaking activities to check up on my well-being. So I called down to Big Mama’s and ordered a soup and salad, with a promise to pick it up in the next half hour.
Just the thought of food made my stomach flip, and I reached for the sparkling water that hadn’t been more than a few feet from me since I opened the shop and took a swig. The bell above the door chimed and I looked up just in time to see Hope bounce in, Nina and Max trailing behind her. “Good afternoon, ladies.”
“Hey Mikki!” Hope smiled, always such a ball of sunshine whether she was coming up with sexy new bits of lingerie or helping her grandmama keep the diner running as the hub of Tulip. It was an admirable trait, and it made her a delight to be around. Most days.
“What brings you in today?”
Hope shrugged. “I have a few designs I wanted to run by you and these two have shopping on the brain. Isn’t that wonderful?”
It sure was. The more the locals believed in my business, the better my chances of success. “Great. Anything I can help with?”
“Not yet,” Nina practically growled and I pegged her right away as a non-shopper. She turned to the nearest rack, browsing in a clear sign that said she would ask for help if she needed it—and only then. Max followed suit, though less aggressively.
“I’m here if you have questions,” I called out robotically.
Hope’s blond brows dipped with concern and she leaned in, whispering, “Are you okay? Because, no offense, but you don’t look so great today.”
I grinned and shook my head at her lack of tact. “Thanks, sugar. I feel even worse than I look but I’ll be fine, just a bug. Probably from trivia night.” The truth was, I worked retail, surrounded by hundreds of strangers each and every day which meant I could have gotten these germs from anyone. “What do you have to show me?” I knew talking lingerie would be the perfect distraction and it worked like a charm.
“Really? Are you sure? We can do this another time.”
I waved off her concern and motioned for Hope to hand me the notebook that she carried with her everywhere. “I’ll tell you if I can’t handle it.”
Her shoulders relaxed instantly when she heard the answer she was hoping for, and she slid the oversized notebook across the counter with a nervous grin. “Something isn’t quite right. I mean, they’re sexy and new, but something is missing.”
I flipped through the designs, listening to Hope’s concerns with half an ear, because I’d learned quickly that designers were insecure and needed a lot of assurances to keep the creative juices flowing.
“Maybe I need to experiment with textiles. What do you think?”
“Um.” I tried to form words, but every time I opened my mouth, nausea hit. I took in several deep breaths and reached for my water for the twentieth time that day, gu
lping down the fizzy liquid until the nausea passed, even if it was only temporary. “They’re good,” I began but my vision started to blur as black closed in on the edges. “I like the way you took retro styles and updated them, but… oh, hell.” My legs wobbled and both hands shot out, gripping the glass counter.
“Oh, geez, Mikki, are you all right?” Hope was around the counter and at my side in a heartbeat, one arm wrapped around my shoulders. “Mikki, can you hear me?”
The concern in Hope’s voice shook me out of my stupor, at least a little. “I’m fine. I just need to take a seat and maybe go pick up my lunch. I haven’t eaten today,” I admitted honestly ,even though she didn’t look remotely convinced.
“Nina, Max, get over here. Something’s wrong with Mikki.” At her words, both women ran to the counter, stopping on either side of me and Hope. “She’s gone pale and her legs went all wonky for a second.”
Max went immediately into mom mode, placing the back of her hand to my forehead and then my cheek. “You’re warm and clammy. Have you been sick to your stomach?”
I nodded. “Yeah, but like I told Hope, I must have picked up a bug somewhere. I’ll be fine,” I assured them, waving off their concern as the nausea and dizziness finally passed. “Enough worrying about me, what can I help you ladies find today?” It was strange, I knew, to stand tall like I hadn’t nearly crumpled to the floor in my own shop, but if I stopped to focus on being sick then the whole day would be ruined. But the looks all three women sent me, like I’d lost my mind, forced me to address it. “Seriously, I’m fine. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll go splash my face right now. Even better, go pick up my lunch from Big Mama’s and I’ll just grab some cash.”
Nina shrugged and turned to Max. “How about you grab Mikki’s lunch while she helps me find some sexy lingerie to surprise Preston with? And when you come back, I’m sure she’ll have an armload of clothes to update your wardrobe on a single mother’s budget, yeah?”
Max looked at me, noticing the determined set of my jaw, and nodded. “Fine. I’ll be back.”
Perfect. It took all the willpower I possessed to help Nina without tossing my cookies on the newly shampooed carpet, breathing in and out as slowly as I could to keep things even. “Damn, you designed this, Hope?” Nina held up a see-through hot pink lace nightie and whistled. “This will definitely get Preston’s blood boiling.”
I suppressed a laugh at her raunchy gesture only because the dizziness lingered. “Try this one, too.” I handed her a blue baby-doll dress and a lavender negligee that would look gorgeous with her tattoos. Nina trotted off into one of the fitting rooms just as Max returned, with a bag of smells that made it incredibly hard to focus on the job at hand. “I’ll just take that to the back,” I told her, breathing slowly through my mouth.
Hope and Max whispered quietly but it didn’t take a genius to figure out they were talking about me. It was concern, I knew, but still I hurried back out and got back to work, hoping it would distract me from feeling like crap. “Let me show you the clearance racks,” Hope suggested, shooting me a concerned look as she guided Max to the racks in the back of the store.
By the time Nina and Max were ready to pay, I was ready to throw in the towel and go home. Without the awful smelling soup and sandwich that I could still somehow smell, even in the store. “Will that be all, ladies?” They both nodded and I kept my breathing slow and steady as I rang up the items and bagged them. “Thank you for your business.”
Instead of smiling and waving me off like good, unconcerned customers, all three women continued to stare at me. “Seriously, Mikki, you look like crap. Go home and get some rest.” I hadn’t known Nina long and I didn’t know her well, but she was as brutally honest as they came, a fact I usually appreciated about her. Usually.
“I’ll be fine.” The words sounded weak even to my ears.
“I’ll stay,” Hope offered confidently. “It’s the least I can do, and maybe I’ll even get a little market research done while help you out, Mikki. I already know the register and I’ll call if I have any questions,” she rushed on when it became clear I wasn’t gonna budge. “You don’t want to get your customers sick, do you? Call me crazy, but I think that’s bad business.”
“Everybody’s an expert,” I grumbled but reluctantly agreed, grabbing my purse and keys and heading for the back exit as soon as Nina and Max were gone. “Call me if you have any questions or problems, Hope.”
“I will. This is your baby and I promise to keep her safe.”
“Thanks,” I told her on a relieved sigh. “I really appreciate it, Hope.”
“That’s what friends are for.” Her words were honest and heartfelt, making it impossible to argue further—especially when my body craved the comfort of my sofa and sleep.
“Thanks, anyway.” Without thinking, I wrapped Hope in a hug and dashed off before I did something ridiculous like cry over the friendly gesture.
An hour later, I sat on the sofa, feeling like a smug armchair physician since I’d nailed my symptoms down to three possible diseases. It was either cancer, a problem with my thyroid, or I had a baby growing in my belly. “I’d rather have the flu,” I thought as my mind whirled with the possibilities.
Despite what my parents and ex-fiancé thought of me, I wasn’t flighty or an airhead. I knew the chances were slim that it was cancer or thyroid problems, but a girl had to have hope in these situations—and I was hanging onto that hope with both hands, even as I climbed the steps towards my bedroom and the master bathroom beyond. Inside, a box under the sink was a remnant of the life I’d been about to embark on before coming to Tulip.
I found it quickly, between a box of tampons and two bottles of leave-in conditioner: an unopened pregnancy test. I reached for it with shaky hands, knowing that there was a possibility, no matter how small, that this was the source of today’s illness and the generally feeling of fatigue I had for the past week. In fact, the more I struggled with the plastic around the box, the more all the symptoms came together.
So, I took the test and waited. And waited. Who knew three minutes could feel so long?
It was more than enough time to think about the fact that a year ago, I thought I’d be a married woman, possibly with a baby on the way. Now, I was alone in my small home in Tulip, Texas, waiting for a little digital display to tell me whether or not I was about to start a new life as a single mother. A knot tightened in my throat as a small smile tugged on my lips. I had always wanted to be a mother, albeit in a different way, but maybe this was meant to be my path since I clearly didn’t have good instincts where men were concerned. Mitchell was exhibit A and Nate was exhibit B.
The timer chimed on the counter and I took a deep breath, staring at myself in the mirror one last time before my life changed forever. Possibly.
The display read one word. Pregnant.
Shock overwhelmed me, turning my skin cold. Seconds later, I tossed my cookies into the toilet.
Nate
“After that hell, I need something hot and greasy, and a lot of it. You up for Big Mama’s?”
Preston nodded, letting out a huge sigh of relief that our thirty-six-hour shift was finally over. “Hell yes,” he said, laughing as he jumped into the passenger seat of my truck. “Who in the hell stops in a cold, dark cave to have sex and then gets lost inside the cave? A damn cave?” He stared at me and I stared back a beat before we both exploded with laughter.
The shift had been just as ridiculous as it sounded. It had taken us four hours just to get to Bootlegger’s Cave, called so because of the legend that the cave was part of a system of tunnels used during prohibition to get booze to the north—as far as I could tell, it was nothing but a story. “Eight hours of hiking uneven terrain and another hour inside the cave—I could’ve killed them when we found them.”
Preston laughed and smacked the dashboard. “What else are you gonna do while you wait for search and rescue to find you, if not get another round of sex in before you’re
rescued?” Yep, the lovebirds had been butt-ass naked, bumping and grinding, when we found them. And not embarrassed at all to get caught.
We came to a stop just outside the diner and jumped out of my truck at the same time. “Thank goodness stupidity keeps us in business,” I told him as we stepped inside the diner, now mostly empty since the lunch rush had ended more than an hour ago.
“I guess you’re right,” Preston conceded and handed me a menu once we were both seated. “At least we’ve got the next two days off, and I have it on good authority Nina has a sexy surprise waiting for me.” He flashed a smile not unlike the one my brother had been wearing lately, and even though I was happy for him, I was also a little envious.
“Thought that was an everyday occurrence.”
Preston laughed. “Most days, but not always. You’ll see.”
“Doubtful,” I snorted just as Big Mama cast a shadow over our table.
“You boys aren’t lookin’ too bad considering what you’ve been through the past twelve hours.” She shook her head and took our orders, not bothering to hide her shock at the amount of food we ordered. “Guess rescuin’ those doo-doo for brains tourists took a lot out of you?”
“You could say that,” I told her with a smile. “But really, after a long shift, the only thing that will make things right is an order of Big Mama’s sausage and biscuits.” My smile brightened flirtatiously and I enjoyed the way even the gruff older women couldn’t help the blush staining her cheeks. It was a gift.
She waved off my words with a wide, satisfied smile. “You redheads, I swear you’re nothing but trouble.” Another shake of her head and Big Mama laid a hand on her round hips. “I’ll fix you boys right up—on the house, for your efforts. Ginger,” she yelled over her shoulder at the young newcomer I knew next to nothing about. “Get these boys something hot to drink while they wait.”
When she was gone, Preston grinned. “Oh, the celebrity treatment. Maybe we need more tourists doing dumb things.”
Misters of Love: A Small Town Romance Boxset Page 7