“I don’t owe — ”
“Yeah, yeah, I heard you before. You really hate me so much you couldn’t have given me five minutes?”
Drew’s eyes were stony. “What I hate, Michael, is what you did to our family.”
“Well, that makes two of us.”
“Yeah, right.”
Michael shook his head warningly. “Don’t think you have it all figured out, Drew. Don’t think you have me figured out. I know just how badly I screwed up. That’s why I came back to town. What you’re planning to do with the house — ”
“You have some nerve — ”
“I don’t think Mom and Dad would want the home to leave the family. It meant too much to them — ”
Drew’s fist caught him by surprise as it connected with his chin, and the force of it sent Michael staggering back a step.
For a moment he saw stars, and he shook his head to clear it. He put a hand to his throbbing chin and winced. “Not bad, Drew. Nice to know a desk job hasn’t made you go soft. Your constituents know you’ve got a mean right hook?”
“You don’t get to say what Mom and Dad would or would not have wanted. You wouldn’t know, would you? Because you left and didn’t look back. I’m the one who lived with them, and I’d know what they’d want a hell of a lot more than you would.”
“Maybe,” Michael said, letting his hand fall away from his chin. “But just for the record, was that punch for them or for Shannon?”
“It was for me,” Drew returned darkly, his hand still curled in a fist.
“Feel better now, or did you want to take another shot?” Michael took a step closer until he was only inches away from his younger brother.
“Just stay away from Shannon. In fact, why don’t you pack your bags and leave town altogether? There’s no place for you here anymore. God knows I don’t want to see you again.”
Michael said nothing. The words were hardly a surprise, but there was a finality to them that hit him hard. For just a moment he thought he caught a glimpse of the little boy his brother used to be in the angry man before him, and he felt a sudden ache in his chest. There was a time, when they were both kids, that Drew had looked up to him and he had looked after Drew, protecting him from school bullies and initiating him in all the rites of passage that went along with boyhood. Then the glimpse was gone, and all he saw was the bitterness in his brother’s eyes.
Drew might have taken his silence for acquiescence. In any case, he pushed past Michael and walked out without another word, slamming the door firmly shut behind him. Michael stood frozen, dimly aware that his chin still throbbed. Finally, moving as if in a daze, he grabbed a towel from the bathroom and went out to get some ice from the ice machine. He wrapped it up in the towel and applied it to his chin, wincing.
The chances of persuading Drew to change his mind about the youth center were slim to none now, he acknowledged as he laid back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. The room grew darker as twilight fell, but he didn’t bother turning on a light. Shannon’s chances with Drew seemed to be a lot better than his given Drew’s protectiveness toward her tonight, a realization that left a sour taste in Michael’s mouth. It was what Shannon wanted, and he should have been happy for her.
He was not.
It could have been bitterness that made him feel that way, or resentment. After all, she was within reach of her desires and he was not, but he was honest enough with himself to admit that wasn’t it. The thought of Drew touching her in anything more than a casual way made his gut tighten.
Because, selfish SOB that he was, Michael wanted her for himself. As penance, he pressed the ice harder against his chin until the pressure hurt, leaving it there as the evening air darkened around him.
Chapter Ten
The wise thing to do was to stay away from Shannon for a while. Not because of Drew’s warning, but because Michael needed to get his head on straight. Maybe it was just a matter of proximity, and if he put a little distance between them it would be much easier to put things into perspective, including the feelings she inspired in him.
Of course he liked her. What was there not to like? She was funny, warm, and made him laugh more lately than he had in a long time. And there was something very sweet and innocent about her, something that brought out an urge in him to protect her from disappointment.
And catty girls, he thought with a wry smile, remembering the evening at the park.
But thinking about that evening might have been a mistake, because it made him recall other things that happened that night, too. Like kissing her and holding her hand beneath the stars while they talked about high school memories. For a kiss that was only for show, it lingered in his head far more than it should have.
But she was an appealing woman, after all, and he was a red-blooded, heterosexual male. It was perfectly natural for him to feel some kind of attraction to her. It hardly meant his feelings went any deeper than that.
Except lately she filled his head more and more, and it was harder for him to explain that realization away. It was possible it was the reprieve she offered from his self-loathing that he welcomed, and the comfort that her presence gave him. It was possible he just liked himself better when he was with her. But it was also possible he simply wanted a woman who didn’t want him back.
He could make her want him, a little voice in the back of his mind suggested slyly. Seduction was his specialty, wasn’t it? With a little effort, he might lure her attention away from Drew and find out what happened when he kissed her for real.
Michael stared at himself in the mirror. “Bastard,” he said softly to his reflection. “Would you really do that to her?” Because, in the end, he was not the kind of man who could make her happy, and certainly not the kind of man she deserved. Drew was a much better match for her, and to all appearances, his brother finally seemed to be noticing that fact. “Let her go,” he told himself harshly, and he turned away from the mirror.
Yes, the smart thing for him to do would be to keep his distance from her. And for two whole days, he did just that — although he found himself checking his cell phone frequently for any missed calls from her. But the longer his internal debate raged on, the more his resolve to stay away from her weakened, especially when the only other thing to think about was his failure to save his parents’ house.
Maybe, alone in his motel room with nothing but his own thoughts, he was building his feelings for Shannon up into much more than they really were. Maybe once he was around her again, he would see that his affection for her was just that: affection. And maybe spending a little time with her would help him to understand just how unrealistic a pair they would make.
Besides, he owed her a thank-you for her efforts to get Drew to listen, even if Drew did refuse to budge in his way of thinking. It was a transparent excuse to see her, but he forced that thought from his mind.
Tomorrow. He would just drive by for a minute, that was all. Just long enough to prove to himself there was nothing going on between himself and Shannon outside of his imagination. Plain and simple.
Sure.
• • •
The clock on the wall finally read five o’clock.
Thank you, God.
By the time Friday afternoon had rolled around, Shannon’s stomach was one big knot. Two days of avoiding eye contact with both Clarissa and Drew had taken a toll, and the few words she exchanged with either of them were brief and all business. Once or twice Drew seemed as if he might want to say something else, something more personal, but in the end he kept it to himself, for which Shannon was immensely grateful.
Clarissa had said little, too, but even now Shannon could feel the weight of the look the older woman had been giving her all day. Steeling herself, Shannon looped her purse strap over her shoulder and walked past her friend’s desk on the way to the exit.
Taking a deep breath, Shannon halted and turned back to look at Clarissa.
They stared at each other in silence for a moment before Clarissa finally sighed and shook her head. “You’re still seeing him, aren’t you?”
Only every time I close my eyes, Shannon thought, her stomach churning again and not entirely because of her friend’s scrutiny. She said nothing, but her gaze dropped away from Clarissa’s.
“What kind of happy ending do you see happening here, honey? He’s a player. There’s no future in it.”
“There is no ‘it’, Clarissa,” Shannon said tersely, finding her voice. “There never was. You have nothing to worry about. Trust me.”
The older woman raised her eyebrows.
“I mean it, really.” Shannon adjusted her purse strap again, more out of nerves than necessity. “I’ll see you Monday.” She turned to go, moving quickly before Clarissa could offer any further cautionary advice.
As she got in her car, though, her friend’s words warred with her already jumbled feelings regarding what had happened with Michael. For a moment her hand hovered over her cell phone. She was torn between the desire to see if he was all right after the other night’s confession and her fear that if she spoke to him he would be able to tell that it was more than just friendly concern on her part. And then what? He was Michael Kingston, after all, and she was just plain-Jane Shannon Mahoney. She was not the kind of woman to hold a man’s interest, not in that way. Clarissa was right. What did she really expect to happen?
She moved her hand away from the phone and put her key in the ignition.
• • •
It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. The air was pleasantly warm without being too hot, and Michael drove with the windows of his truck rolled down. His grip on the steering wheel was tighter than usual, and he forced himself to relax it. As he pulled into Shannon’s driveway, he listened for sounds of power tools but heard only the sounds of nature. Her truck was parked in the drive, but maybe she wasn’t at home. Maybe she was even out with Drew.
He got out of the truck and headed for her front steps, half-expecting her dog to come around the corner of the house again with tail wagging, but the animal didn’t appear. There was no answer to Michael’s knock on the door, and, disappointed, he was about to turn around and go the way he had come when he heard a dog barking, followed by Shannon’s laughter. It was a rare sound, and he let it wash over him now, uncomfortably aware that his reaction to it was not a platonic one.
He was playing with fire by coming here.
Michael followed the sound of her laughter off the porch and around to the back of the house, stopping before Shannon saw him. The half-finished deck was now completely finished, and while Bo leaped off the edge of it to fetch a stick, Shannon sat on the railing where it met the side of the house. She looked as if she had just stepped out of a shower with her hair still damp and hanging freely past her shoulders, and for a moment he thought she was dressed only in an oversized t-shirt before he caught a glimpse of short denim cutoffs barely visible beneath the hem. One knee was bent close to her chest while the other leg, shapely and lean, dangled temptingly over the edge of the railing. Michael’s eyes traced the contours of it, and his pulse quickened.
Resting her chin on her bent knee, Shannon laughed again as Bo pounced on the stick and shook it vigorously. “Pretty fierce, Bo,” she called out, unaware of Michael’s presence as the wide neck of her t-shirt slid to expose one shoulder. She combed the fingers of one hand idly through her wet hair, working out a tangle. “Poor stick didn’t stand a chance.”
His gaze went immediately to her bare shoulder. Just friends, Michael thought grimly. Sure. Who was he kidding?
She was so natural and unselfconscious that he was reluctant to disturb her, particularly since he had a heavy feeling there wouldn’t be many more moments like this between them before he left town. The heaviness grew stronger as he studied her. There was a world of difference between her and every other woman he had known in his life, and the way he wanted her was very different, too. True, he wanted to touch her, taste her, feel her against him, but there was something more to it, something unfamiliar to him. It was unsettling, so he quickly reminded himself that none of it mattered anyway. She wanted Drew, and she seemed to be getting her wish. As her partner in all of this, he ought to be congratulating her. And then he ought to forget about everything else.
He cleared his throat, and she looked up. Her look of surprise melted into one of obvious pleasure, and he felt his determination to stay detached wavering.
She smiled a little self-consciously. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Michael approached the deck, running one hand on the railing. “Nice work.”
“Thanks,” she said, looking pleased.
Bo dropped his stick and trotted over to sniff Michael’s hand, tail wagging. Michael rubbed the dog’s ears until a sound in the underbrush caught Bo’s attention, and the dog jogged off to investigate.
“Want to come up?” Shannon invited him, with a hint of shy pride in her voice. “Check out the view?”
He already was, although it was not the view she meant. With one hand on the railing, he climbed slowly up the steps, cautioning himself not to get too close to her for fear of doing something foolish. “Very nice,” he said, reaching the top and turning to look out at the unspoiled nature surrounding her house. “You’ve got your own little slice of paradise here.”
“Yeah, I like it.” She came over to stand next to him, stopping before she got very close, for which he was grateful. “It’s one thing to try and picture the finished product in your head, but seeing the reality is another thing altogether. There’s just something about it that’s so … ”
“Satisfying?”
She nodded. “That’s a good word for it.” Turning her head, she looked up at him hesitantly. “Are you okay? I mean, after everything you said the other night, I was wondering if things were a little … raw, maybe.”
With an effort, he was able to keep his tone breezy. “I’m fine. Actually, I wanted to stop in and offer my congratulations to you.”
Her brow furrowed. “For what?”
“Drew.”
“Oh.” A strange look crossed her face, and she looked away for a moment. “I think that might be a little premature.”
“I don’t think so. He came to see me at the motel.”
“He did?”
“Been a long time since I’ve seen him that hot under the collar. Normally he’s more ice than fire with me, but not then.” He rubbed his bruised chin at the memory of his brother’s fist. “Hence congratulations. He’s clearly worked up about you.” He forced a smile on his face.
Shannon made a noncommittal sort of sound.
“What, you don’t believe me? You still don’t think you could catch a guy’s eye like that? Trust me, sweetheart, you can.”
But she said nothing, and that strange look flickered over her face again.
“And he would be very lucky to have you.” Michael cleared his throat again, remembering the way it felt to put his arm around her and the way she fit against his side. He shouldn’t be thinking about things like that right now. “So, listen, I wanted to say thank you for trying to get Drew to listen about the youth center. I know I put you in a difficult spot, and I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. Did he finally talk to you about it, then?”
The vivid blue-green of her eyes was very distracting, especially when those eyes were focused so fully on him. Michael took a few steps away from her, pretending he was examining her handiwork on the deck but really needing to put more distance between them before he did something rash. Like pull her to him. “I’m not sure you could really call it talking, but, yes, the subject came up. I wouldn’t exactly say it went all that grea
t.”
“Oh.” She hesitated a moment. “What happened?”
“Well, he made it pretty clear the youth center is a done deal.” He stared unseeingly at the trees dotting the landscape around her house. “Among other things.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged with a lack of concern that wasn’t what he really felt.
“Michael?”
He turned around to look at her, and the sympathy on her face made it hard for him to maintain his casual air.
“You must be feeling pretty disappointed about it, but maybe — maybe it’s not as bad as you think.”
She took a step toward him, and the breeze carried the scent of her hair and skin to him, fresh and clean from her shower. He groaned inwardly, trying not to let her see the effect it had on him. If she came much closer …
“It’s just that I’ve been thinking about something Drew said at lunch the other day, about what he thinks the youth center could be. You’ve been trying to protect that house in order to honor your parents’ legacy, but maybe the youth center can actually be a way to do that. I mean, you and Drew want the same thing really, even if you’re going about it in different ways.”
“Do we?” he asked softly. She didn’t seem to notice the way his eyes flickered over her as he spoke.
“You want the things that mattered to your parents to be preserved, right? Hard work, integrity, excellence … Those are things kids can learn about at the Kingston Youth Center, and it’s all because of your parents. Lots of children who might not have had the opportunity otherwise will have their lives enriched because of your mom and dad. The house itself, that’s just wood and bricks. Eventually it will crumble to dust, but the effect it will have had on the lives of so many kids — well, who can really imagine how far an impact like that can go?”
He knew her words were intended to be comforting, which he appreciated, but it was also clear to him she meant every word of what she said. She wasn’t making speeches just to make him feel better. “Maybe,” he said finally. “Maybe they would have liked that. I don’t know if it’s enough, but it looks as though it will have to be.”
The Bargain Page 12