by Sarah Morgan
It was the first time he’d seen her lower her guard, even briefly.
And he’d lowered his guard too and called her habibti and that single word had shifted the atmosphere. He didn’t know whether to be amused or offended that she considered him a bigger threat to her well-being than the scorpion.
Relieved, he thought grimly as he remembered the way he’d felt when she’d wrapped her arms around his neck. Unlocking the door, he removed ice and the first aid kit he carried everywhere, trying to block out the way it had felt to hold her. She was slender, leggy … and she’d lost weight.
Was that because of him?
No. That would mean she cared and he knew she didn’t care.
He stood for a moment, listening to the sounds of the desert and the disturbing notes of his own thoughts. Then he cursed softly and slammed the door.
Inside the tent, she was sitting quietly. She looked shaken and a little pale but he had no way of knowing whether her reaction was a result of the scorpion bite or the pressure of being in such close contact with him.
Trying to concentrate on the scorpion bite and nothing else, Mal pressed ice to her burning hand and she flinched.
‘Only you can produce ice in a desert.’
‘I have a freezer unit in the vehicle.’ And right at that moment he was working out ways to sit in it. Anything to cool himself down.
‘Of course you do,’ she murmured, ‘because a Prince cannot be without life’s little luxuries, even in this inhospitable terrain.’
‘I suppose I should be relieved that you’re feeling well enough to aggravate me.’
‘I really don’t need ice. You’re hot, Your Highness, but not that hot.’ But despite her flippant tone her cheeks were flushed. Was it the effects of the bite?
‘Tell me how you are feeling.’ And suddenly he realised just how bad this could be. They were miles from civilization. Even if he called a helicopter, it wouldn’t arrive within an hour. He told himself that she was fit and healthy and not in any of the high-risk groups, but still anxiety gnawed at him because he knew that for some people the bite of the scorpion could be deadly. ‘I don’t carry anti-venom.’
‘Well, thank goodness for small mercies because there is no way I’d let you jab me with a needle and inject me with more poison.’ She flinched as he moved the ice. ‘That is freezing. Are you trying to give me frostbite?’
‘I’m trying to stop the venom spreading. Does it hurt?’
‘Not at all. I can’t even feel it.’ It was obvious that she was lying and he threw her a look.
‘You are the most exasperating, infuriating woman I’ve ever met.’
‘Thank you.’ She smiled and that smile snagged his attention.
‘What makes you think it was a compliment?’
‘I take everything as a compliment unless I’m told otherwise. Am I going to die?’
‘No.’ Hiding his concern, he put his hand on her forehead. ‘We need to get your clothes off.’
Her eyes flew open. ‘You’re warped, do you know that?’
‘This isn’t seduction. This is first aid.’ And he didn’t want to think about seduction. He didn’t dare. His hands were firm as they stripped off her clothes and she made a feeble attempt to stop him.
‘I can’t let you see me naked.’
‘I’ve already seen you naked on many occasions.’ Too many occasions. She was the hottest, most beautiful woman he’d ever met and he didn’t need to be in this position to be reminded of that fact.
‘That was different. You weren’t about to marry another woman. I don’t get naked with almost married men.’ She snatched at the sleeping bag and he let her cover herself but not before he’d caught a tantalizing glimpse of creamy skin. A glimpse that tested his self-control more than it had ever been tested before.
It was a struggle to focus on what he was doing. ‘I have to cool you down and you need to stop snuggling inside that sleeping bag because you’re overheating.’ He poured cool water on a cloth and held it against her head. ‘Females tend to have a more severe reaction because of their body mass.’
There was a dangerous gleam in her eyes. ‘Are you calling me fat?’
‘Did I mention the word fat?’
‘You said “mass”. Don’t use the word “mass” in relation to my body.’
‘Even if I tell you it’s because you have a smaller body mass?’ He didn’t want to be amused. He didn’t want to feel anything for this woman. ‘Be silent. You need to rest.’
‘I can’t rest with you this close.’
He rubbed his fingers over his forehead, exhausted by the drain on his self control. It was fortunate that both of them were too principled to give in to it.
‘I’m watching you for any adverse reaction.’
‘Well, stop watching me. It feels creepy.’ She rolled onto her side, but a moan escaped her. ‘How long am I going to feel like this, Mal?’ The tremor in her voice concerned him more than anything because he knew how tough she was.
‘You feel bad?’
‘No, I feel great.’ Her words were muffled by the pillow. ‘I just want to know how long this great feeling is going to last so that I can make the most of it. How long?’
‘Hours, habibti.’ He hesitated for a moment and then allowed himself to stroke her hair away from her face, telling himself that touching her was all about comfort and nothing else. ‘Possibly a bit longer.’
‘I was stupid. You must be furious with me.’
If only. ‘I’m not furious.’
‘Then try harder. It would make it easier if you were furious.’
Mal gave a cynical smile because right at that moment he doubted anything would make it easier. He placed his fingers on her wrist. ‘Your pulse is very fast.’
‘Well, that’s nothing to do with you, so don’t go flattering yourself. Scorpions always get me going.’
‘It’s the venom. You need to tell me how you’re feeling. If necessary I’ll call the helicopter and have us airlifted out of here.’
‘No way. We need to find your virgin bride.’
Mal cursed under his breath and reached into his first aid kit for a bandage. ‘Stop calling her that.’
‘Sorry.’ She turned slightly, opened one eye and peeped at him. ‘Are you angry yet?’
‘No, but I’m getting there. Keep it up.’
She grinned weakly. ‘I bet the scorpion is angry, too. I flung him across the ground. Horrible creature.’
‘Actually they play a critical role in the ecosystem, consuming other arthropods and even mice and snakes.’
‘Too much information.’
‘They can control how much poison they inject into you. I think you got away lightly.’
‘So does that mean he liked me or he didn’t like me? Ow—now what are you doing?’
‘I’m bandaging the bite and lifting your arm. I want to slow the spread of the venom. If this doesn’t work, I’ll have to call the helicopter.’
‘Could we stop calling it venom? And honestly, Mal, it’s fine. Stop fussing. Can we take the ice off now? It’s cold.’
‘That’s the idea.’
‘Scorpions don’t like their food chilled?’
But she didn’t feel cold to touch. She was boiling-hot and her arm was burning. ‘Have you ever suffered an allergic reaction to anything in the past?’
‘No, nothing. I’m as healthy as a horse.’
Mal felt a rush of exasperation that they hadn’t avoided this situation. ‘Why didn’t you come into the tent sooner?’
‘Because then we would have killed each other.’ Her response was glib, but her smile faltered. ‘Sorry. And this time I really am apologising.’
‘Apologising for what? For being aggravating? That is nothing new and you’ve never felt the need to apologise before.’
‘For messing everything up,’ she muttered. ‘For making things harder for you. I shouldn’t have come on this trip. I was worried about Kalila and I thought I could h
elp but I haven’t helped and it was all my fault anyway.’ Her apology was as sweet as it was unexpected and he felt something squeeze inside his chest.
‘I am touched that you cared enough to come,’ he breathed. ‘And you will be able to talk to Kalila and persuade her to confide in you, which is important given that I have failed so miserably to deliver in that area.’ And he blamed himself for that. For being unapproachable, for assuming that just because his bride to be hadn’t said anything, it meant that everything was fine.
They had no relationship, he thought bleakly, and it was impossible not to compare that with the feelings he and Avery shared.
‘You’ll make a perfect couple. I’m sure you’ll be very happy. And I mean that. I’m not being sarcastic. She’s very sweet and she won’t drive you crazy. That’s always good in a marriage.’ Her voice was barely audible and she turned her head, the movement dislodging her hair from the plait. It poured over her shoulders like honey and he stared down at the silken mass, fighting the urge to sink his hands into it. Once, he’d had the right to do that. And he’d done it. All the time. It had been the most physical relationship of his life.
‘Right now I am not thinking of Kalila.’
‘Don’t, Mal.’ Her voice was muffled. ‘Don’t do this.’
Was this the moment to be honest? He hesitated, wrenched apart by the conflict between duty and his own needs. And honesty would just worsen the situation, wouldn’t it? ‘This marriage with Kalila—’
‘Will be good. If she’s having second thoughts then it’s because you haven’t tried hard enough. You can be charming when you want to be. Of course the rest of the time you’re aggravating and arrogant, but don’t show her that side of you for a while and it will be fine.’ Her eyes were closed, her eyelashes long and thick against her pale cheeks.
Mal stared down at her, unable to think of a single time when he’d seen Avery vulnerable. It just wasn’t a word he associated with her. But tonight—yes, tonight she was vulnerable. He wanted to hold her but he didn’t dare take the risk. He wasn’t convinced he’d let her go.
Instead he settled for sitting close to her. ‘Tell me why you avoided my calls.’ Still worried about the bite, he tightened the bandage as much as he dared.
‘I was super-busy.’
‘You are the most efficient woman I know. If you’d wanted to answer my calls, you could have done. When we parted company I thought we would remain friends.’ He should have been thinking about his bride-to-be, but all he could think about was the relationship he’d lost.
‘I’m too busy for friends. About this scorpion—’ as always when a subject became uncomfortable, she shifted direction ‘—he only bit me once. Should I be offended? Does that mean he didn’t like the way I tasted? Or am I like expensive caviar—better consumed in small amounts?’
He didn’t want to think about the way she tasted. Couldn’t allow himself to. Frustration made his voice rougher than he intended. ‘I am going to give you a couple of tablets and then you’re going to rest.’ And stop talking.
‘I don’t take tablets. I’m a drug-free zone.’
‘You’ll take these. And if the rash on your arm hasn’t calmed down in an hour or so, I’m going to fly you out of here.’ And maybe that would be the best thing for both of them. Reaching into his bag, he found the tablets in the supplies he carried and handed them to her with a drink of water, relieved when she swallowed the pills without question or argument but at the same time concerned because it was so unlike her not to question and argue. ‘If you feel bad, I can call the helicopter now.’
‘No.’ Her eyes drifted shut again. ‘I want to stay. I need to be with you.’
The atmosphere snapped tight. Mal felt a weight on his chest. How many times had he waited for her to say those words? And she said them now, when his life was already set on a different course. Was that why she’d picked this moment? Because she knew he couldn’t act on the emotion that simmered between them? I need to be with you. From any other woman those words would have felt oppressive. From Avery they felt like victory. A victory that was too little, too late. ‘You need to be with me? You are telling me this now?’
‘Yes.’ Her voice was barely audible. ‘I need to be there when you find her. I need to talk Kalila into marrying you. It’s the best thing for all of us.’
CHAPTER FIVE
SHE dreamed of the desert. Only this time when she dreamed of the Prince he was holding her and she couldn’t walk away because he held her close, refusing to let her go.
Trapped.
She struggled slightly but she was held in a strong grip.
‘Shh. It’s just a dream. Go back to sleep.’
The deep male voice lifted her from sleep to semi-wakefulness and she realised that Mal was holding her. It was still dark and she didn’t know which frightened her more—the realisation that she felt truly terrible, or the feeling that came from being held by him. Her head was on his chest and she could feel the slow, steady thud of his heart. She knew she should pull away, but she didn’t.
She’d planned to sleep in the furthest corner of the tent but here he was, lying next to her, holding her. And it felt good.
Too good.
She could feel the brush of his leg against hers and the warmth of his body as he held her in the curve of his arm. The faint glow of light from the torch simply increased the feeling of intimacy.
‘For God’s sake Mal, move over,’ she muttered, ‘you’re in my personal space.’
‘I’m worried about you.’
Her stomach flipped because no one had ever worried about her in her life before. ‘Don’t be. I don’t like the idea you’re waiting for me to drop dead. And you certainly don’t need to hold me.’
‘You’re the one holding me.’ He kept his eyes closed, those dark lashes inky black against his cheek. ‘You did it in your sleep, because you just can’t accept help when you’re awake.’
‘That’s because I don’t need help when I’m awake.’
‘Right. And I suppose you didn’t “need help” last night when you used me as a climbing frame?’
‘That was different. We were invaded by scorpions and if it’s all right with you I’d like to forget about last night.’ She wanted to forget all of it, especially this. She wondered why he was still holding her when the safe and sensible thing to do would have been to let her go.
‘How long have you been having bad dreams?’
‘I don’t have bad dreams.’
‘You had a bad dream. That’s how you ended up clinging to me.’
Embarrassment washed over her like burning liquid. ‘If I had a bad dream last night then it must have been a scorpion-venom-induced nightmare.’ She tried to pull away but he was stronger than she was and he held her tightly.
‘It wasn’t scorpions you were talking about in your sleep.’
She’d been talking in her sleep? Could this get any worse? She wanted to ask if she’d spoken his name, but didn’t want to hear the answer and anyway it was impossible to concentrate with him holding her. It felt dangerously familiar.
‘That’s another scorpion venom thing—’ Her cheek was still against his chest and she could feel hard muscle through the softness of his T-shirt. ‘Check out Wikipedia. I bet it will say something about nightmares. And I’m well and truly awake now, so you can let me go.’
He didn’t. ‘Go back to sleep.’
He expected her to sleep while he was holding her? She could have pulled away, of course, but she didn’t. Couldn’t. This was the way she wanted to sleep. Holding each other. Not wanting to be parted even in sleep. And she’d longed for it so much over the long, barren months they’d been apart. This was the last time they’d ever hold each other and she didn’t want it to end. Without warning, her eyes started to sting. ‘I don’t need you to fuss over me.’
‘You never need anything, do you, Avery Scott?’ His voice was soft in the darkness and she squeezed her eyes tightly so that the tea
rs didn’t fall. She couldn’t believe she was actually crying. She could just imagine what her mother would say to that.
‘Sometimes I pretend to need someone, just to stroke a masculine ego.’
‘I doubt you have ever stroked a man’s ego in your life. Knifed it, possibly.’
She smiled against his chest, safe in the knowledge that he couldn’t see her. ‘Good job yours is robust.’
‘Are you smiling?’
‘No. What is there to smile about? I’m scorpion chow.’ And she was a mess. The pain in her hand was nothing compared to the pain in her heart and he must have sensed her feelings because she felt his hand stroke her hair. Just the slight brush of his fingers, but it was enough to make her tense and he must have felt that too because he stilled, as if aware he’d crossed a line.
‘Go back to sleep, Avery. And, just this once, don’t fight me. A woman doesn’t have to be in charge one hundred per cent of the time.’ His soft voice melted everything hard inside her.
When they’d parted it had almost broken her. Being with him had threatened everything she’d built. She should be pulling away from him, but what she wanted to do was bury her face in his neck, touch her mouth to his skin and use her tongue and her lips to drive him wild.
Picturing Kalila in her head, she eased away from him and this time he let her go.
‘I’m still in charge,’ she whispered back. ‘I just let you hold me because it feeds your manly ego.’
‘You’re all heart.’
Well, that was true, she thought bleakly as she turned on her side with her back to him. It was a good description because, right now, it was the only part of herself of which she was aware and it was filled to the brim with her feelings for him.
Even with her back to him, she could feel him watching her and she squeezed her eyes shut and refused to let herself turn and look at him.
Gritting her teeth, she resigned herself to a night without sleep.
She was alone in the tent when she woke.
Outside she could hear noises. Mal was up and dismantling their camp.
Avery lay for a moment, staring up at the canvas, remembering the night before in excruciating detail.