by J. L. Beck
Had he really just followed me?
“You need to leave me alone. We have nothing to talk about Jake. The past is the past. It’s done and over with, let's just move on and maybe one day we can be friends again?” I lied, feeling the sting from the lie on my lips. My eyes refused to move from his full lips that begged to be kissed.
“We have loads to talk about… For example how I never stopped loving you. Or the fact that you have a daughter now?” He raised an eyebrow at me in questioning. Fuck! He knows about Lola.
“My daughter is none of your concern Jake.” My voice was filled with venom. You could say whatever you wanted about me but if you talked about my daughter then you would see a whole another side of me.
He narrowed his blue-green eyes at me. They twinkled with curiosity, and I wondered for a second if he knew that she was his? If he had seen her then he may know? After all, she looked identical to him.
“She will be when you become mine again because you will become mine again… You know that already though, don’t you?” He spoke with so much conviction that for a second I was caught up in his plan to win me back.
Sweat formed against my palms. I didn’t like him being this close. Close enough for me to smell his cologne, or feel the heat of his body against my chest. Yeah, he was way to fucking close.
“Go away…” My voice was weak, just like me, weak for a man that I still loved.
“Is that really what you want?” His voice dripped with need, as the rough pads of his fingertips slipped under my chin forcing my eyes back up to his. I was in a trance, consumed by the need in his eyes.
He wants me. He loves me.
I nodded my head up and down, reveling in the feeling of his fingertips against my skin. Tingles of pleasure shot through my body. I needed to get a handle on the emotions I was feeling but before I could he was swooping in, his lips gently grazing mine. Fire filled my belly, setting my body ablaze.
“Your body still reacts to my touch…” his voice was a mere whisper against my lips and I wanted him to kiss me, really kiss me. “I know you want me, Mia, you still want this…” Something in what he said snapped me back to reality, and before I realized it I was pushing a hand against his solid chest attempting to get him to go away. I couldn’t go through this all over again. Not with my daughter to think about. She deserved more than this.
“I hate you. Nothing has changed. Now leave, before I call the police and tell them you broke in…” I sneered trying to hide the desires I was feeling. Jake knew exactly how to keep me coming back for more and if I wanted to save my heart, then I would have to become immune to his charm.
“Hate?” A gruff laugh erupted from his throat. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down and within seconds I became mesmerized by it all over again. “You couldn’t hate me if you tried. There’s too much good between us….” The air in my lungs refused to move, making it hard to breathe.
“I can still hate you, Jake. It’s not really that hard of an emotion to feel when you left me the way you did.” I sneered finding my voice again. All I needed to do was find a way to get him to leave, and the easiest way to do that was to tell him off.
“Say it again…” His voice purred in my ears.
“Say what?” I looked at him bewilderedly.
“My name. Say it again…” He reached out a finger tracing my bottom lip. My body begged me to give into him like I once had but my heart and mind told me it was nothing but a trap. I had loved him once and it burnt me. I couldn’t hurt myself like that again.
“Leave, now and don’t come back.” I batted his hand away from my face and moved as far away from him as I could. He looked down at me with indecision.
“Is that what you want?” He questioned me with anger burning in his eyes. I could hear the surprise in his voice. He was finally catching on, he was finally getting that this wasn’t a game to me that he couldn’t just leave for four years and come barreling back into my life like he never left. I wouldn’t greet him with the same welcoming the rest of the town did, not when he all but ripped my heart out.
“Yes, it’s what I want. Now leave.” I lied knowing that even if it wasn’t what I wanted it was what I needed. He stared at me with anger in his eyes, his nostrils flaring with every breath he took. I was glad he was enraged. Maybe he would discover how it felt to be denied.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you…” He started but I didn’t want to hear it. Not now, not here, and probably not ever.
“GO!” I hollered my voice cracking just like my heart did the day that he told me we were over. It was his choice, his words that ended us. I watched as he took a step back, the sound of his boot colliding with the tiled floor.
“I’m not giving up Mia. I’ll be back and when I do show up, here again, you better be ready to talk because next time I won’t be leaving…” The fire of determination flickered in his eyes. He was determined I could tell but so was I.
He turned on his heels a second later and walked out of the shop as if he was never here, to begin with. As soon as I heard the bell ding signaling he was gone I broke down, the tears that I had been holding in streamed down my face, reminding me of just how not over him I was.
“Fuck!” I slammed my fist down onto the marble island. I had worked so hard for the last four years bettering mine and Lola’s life and now he was back and ready to take over everything I had done.
I squeezed my lids closed and sucked in a deep breath. The oxygen filled my lungs with fresh air, allowing me to think clearer. I was strong. I was smart. I could do this. I could stand up to him and tell him no.
I would have to because my heart couldn’t stand to be broken by Jake again.
Chapter Two
Jake
My boots scuffed against the rocky driveway as I walked up it and in the direction of Mia’s parent’s house. I knew coming back here would do nothing but harm but I had to see it for myself and if I was being completely honest I would tell you that I still couldn’t believe it, that the woman I loved had a baby with another man. The words were ones I couldn’t and refused to speak out loud. Mia was mine, and her daughter was mine too, even if she wasn’t really mine.
“I’m guessing the reunion didn’t go as well as you thought it would?” Donovan scoffed. He was more than just my best friend, he was also Mia’s twin brother and though he loved his sister with all his heart he knew the love I had for her ran deeper than anything else in my life.
“What makes you think that?” I grinned at him. We both knew how stubborn his sister was, and could be, so it wasn’t a surprise to either of us if she didn’t take our reunion well. That wasn’t going to make me back down though.
“Well, you look like she kicked you in balls, and ripped your heart out… that’s why…” He laughed before handing me a cold beer.
“Isn’t your dinner rehearsal in like twenty minutes?” I popped the top off the beer and took a long pull from it. The cold liquid cooled the anger that Mia had stirred inside of me. I was still wearing my Army fatigues, having gone straight to Mia’s cupcake shop instead of coming here to change first. I needed to see her like I needed my next breath.
Donovan shrugged. “Yeah it is, but everyone else is always late so why can’t I be late too?” He took a drink this time. I eyed him with surprise because had his soon to be wife Harper heard him say that he would be running for the hills.
“I’m going to grab a shower before we leave.” I shot to Donovan over my shoulder, as I placed the half full beer on the patio table and headed inside. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mia and the way her body begged to be possessed by me all over again. The years in time that separated made the need for her stronger than it ever had been before. I stripped off my clothing letting it all fall to the floor at my feet. I was exhausted after a twenty-hour round trip flight back to the states, yet the only person I wanted to see was the only person who refused to see me.
I twisted the shower knob, turning it all the way to hot before jum
ping into the stream of water. The water pelted against my back, relieving the ache in my muscles.
“Fuck!” I growled feeling all my emotions at once. Mia didn’t want me anymore, and though I wasn’t going to give up on her that easily it hurt me to know that she had obviously at one point and time moved on with someone else. Still, I couldn’t blame her... Not after hurting her, the way I had.
I clenched my fists at my side trying to stop the memories from that day, the day that I ended both of us.
“You said you loved me!” I could see the steady stream of tears as they slipped from her eyes, and down her perfect creamy white cheeks. My teeth ground together as I reminded myself further why things needed to be this way. In the end, it would be for the best. When I enlisted I never expected to sign up for infantry, but now that I knew that was what I was doing and I had made a commitment to the Army I couldn’t leave Mia behind. I couldn’t leave her worrying about me at every turn. She deserved better than that, but of course, she didn’t see it that way.
“I do love you. I love you with my entire fucking heart! I love you so much. That’s why I’m letting you go….” My voice cracked and the beating muscle in my chest ached as it tried to pump blood throughout my body. I wasn’t just breaking Mia’s, heart. I was breaking my own too.
“You don’t love me!” She growled, pulling her hand back, and landing a hard slap against my cheek. The pain of her smack stung but not nearly as bad as the pain that would linger with me for the rest of my life for hurting her this way. She sucked in a breath and I was positive she was on the verge of an anxiety attack.
“Calm down Mia. Breathe, please breathe…” I begged, and pleaded with her, but she refused to meet my eyes until I reached for her. My fingers grazed her cheek as she pulled away from me, and took a deafening step back from me. This was the end this was what I wanted, wasn’t it?
“I hate you, Jake. I hate you.” I stood there unable to do anything to make it better. The rage in her eyes reflected back at me, but it was more than rage that I saw as I stared into her beautiful eyes. Sadness like I had never seen before lingered beneath the rage. I couldn’t take back the words I had spoken or the contract with the United States government that I had signed. I was a member of the Army for the next four years if I survived the next four years…
Donovan’s voice filtered into the bathroom pulling me from my shitty memories. “Hurry it up, asshole…” I heard him mumble against the bathroom door. I killed the water having rinsed all the suds off. I grabbed the towel and dried off my hair before wrapping the towel around my midsection then I opened the bathroom door and escaped out into the hall heading in the direction of the bedroom that Mia’s parents had offered me.
“You’re letting him live here?” I knew that voice, and I also knew what it was like to be on the receiving end her anger.
“It’s been four years since he left Mia. Let it go. Maybe try and become friends with him instead?” Jen sounded just as upset as Mia was. I had asked Donovan if I could stay with him for a few weeks till I got my own place but shit hit the fan with that real fast when his fiancé found out, so he got his parents to agree to me staying here. I was praying that I could get out of here before Mia discovered we were almost living under the same roof.
Almost.
“He broke my heart. He hurt me. Why does no one in this family realize that…? Instead, he just shows back up, as if he did nothing wrong and you all praise him like some knight and shining armor.” She aspirated, her words filled with more and more venom as she spoke.
I licked my lips, as my cock grew stiff against the fabric of the towel. She has no idea how much I loved her dirty mouth. She always had said exactly how she felt when she felt it.
“For Pete’s sake let it go Mia. You’re twenty-two now. If you aren’t going to do it for you aren’t going to do it for yourself at least do it for Lola.” My entire body froze up that second. I hadn’t forgotten that Mia had a daughter it just enraged me knowing that some asshole got her knocked up and walked away from her like that.
Lola deserved a good Dad, and Mia deserved a man who knew how to take care of her in more than one way.
“I’m done with this conversation Mother!” Mia sounded frustrated and I hated that I was the cause for all her current problems. Had I just stayed away maybe she would be having a better day?
“Hi!” A tiny voice met my ears, and I dropped my attention to the little girl that had magically appeared in front of me. Lola. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She looked so much like her mother that it hurt me looking at her.
“Hi! What’s your name?” I questioned, knowing that I should probably go and change since I was only in a towel.
“Lola. What’s yours?” She shot right back, her big blue eyes twinkling with amusement. She looked like sunshine and radiated happiness and I wanted her to be mine instead of some other assholes child right then and there.
“I’m Jake, and I’m your mommy’s friend,” I added the last bit hoping if Lola liked me then maybe she would ask her mom to bring her to see me more.
“Lola Jean get over…” Mia’s voice stopped mid-sentence as I lifted my eyes from her beautiful daughter and to her.
“Mommy this is Jake…. He wants to be my friend…” I smiled down at Lola who was twirling a long strand of her dark brown hair around one of her fingers.
“That’s great sweetheart. How about you let mommy have a nice talk with Jake well you go find Uncle Dom.” Mia hid her anger from her daughter really well I would give her that.
“Uncle Dom…” Lola bellowed as she ran in the direction of the kitchen leaving Mia and myself in the hallway of her old house.
“It’s one thing to fuck with me, but an entirely different thing to fuck with my daughter…” Mia snarled and I could feel my cock growing harder as her rage spilled out of her. She had no idea how beautiful she was when she was angry.
“I didn’t do anything Mia, and plus I would never hurt Lola. She’s an extension of you which mean’s I love her without having a need to know her…” I confessed holding my towel tightly in place even though I wanted to let it slip to the ground. Mia leaned into my body, her eyes roaming over my muscled chest far longer than acceptable.
“If you’re smart Jake, then you’ll leave me and my family alone. You walked away from all of this a while ago, so don’t act like you can just waltz back into my life like you didn’t do anything wrong. You aren’t a knight Jake. You’re an asshole with a nice body, and face. An asshole that I, unfortunately, fell for…”
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my lips, she could say whatever she wanted too, to me. I would take every insult and digest it because I knew I hurt her, but I refused to listen to her tell me I never loved her. I refused to let her act like she was nothing but a piece of meat to me. She would never be just a fuck buddy; she would never just be some girl I fucked.
She was Mia. Mine.
“Think whatever you want about me baby, hell say whatever you want about me, call me every damn name under the sun…” I snarled, leaning into her face, inhaling her sweet scent. It did nothing to calm my erratic heartbeat. “But don’t assume for one second that I never loved you. I did the only thing I could do, and I’m going to spend every fucking day for the rest of my life trying to win you back, because you’re it for me, Mia. You’re mine…” The words poured from me and as Mia’s face fell so did my heart. She didn’t believe me anymore. She didn’t trust me anymore and that was yet another thing I would have to fix to bring her back to me again.
“Just leave me, and my daughter alone… and put some clothes on…” She spoke, her voice weak as she walked away from me and down the hall. I shook my head causing droplets of water to cascade across my skin. The fact she had told me to put on a shirt let me know everything I needed to know…
She was most definitely still attracted to me.
Chapter Three
Mia
My insides churned, as the tear
s, I refused to let fall burned behind my eyes. The rehearsal dinner went off without a hitch and as I said my goodbyes to everyone with Lola in tow I could feel his eyes on me.
How am I going to get through this with him living a mere few feet away from me? My breathing was coming out in pants. I just needed to get Lola and me inside the house and lock the door. I could cry later, but now, now I just needed to get away from him because my emotions were all out of sorts with him here.
“Welcome back Jakey…” Sofia purred in his ear as she placed a well-manicured hand on his shoulder. I dug my nails deep into the flesh of my palm telling myself that it didn’t matter to me if he was with her after all he wasn’t mine.
“Thanks, Sofia, it’s nice to be back home…” He didn’t bat his eyes at her, or even seem to be interested in conversing with her.
“Momma, I want another cupcake!” Lola pleaded, giving me her best puppy dog eyes. She had no idea how much she resembled her father. I shifted my attention from Jake and the town slut to my sweet daughter.
“No sweetheart. We’ve got to go get ready for bed because we’ve got a big day ahead of us tomorrow…” I bent down so that I could cradle her sweet face in my hands. Every day that Jake was gone she became my steady reminder of him and though I loved her with all my heart the fact that she looked identical to him and not me irked me a bit.
“Please, Momma…” She pouted and all I could was smile as I pulled her into my chest. She was the sweetest little girl in the entire world.
“No sweetie, it’s time for bed.” I willed myself to stay strong against her big blue eyes and instead plucked her up off the ground and headed in the direction of our two-story house that we rented from my parents.
Forcing myself not to look back at Jake I walked in the direction of the house, my sandal’s slapping against the rocky trail that leads up to the house.
“Leaving so early?” Jake’s deep voice met my ears causing my steps to flaunter. I swiveled around on my heels, coming face to face with him once again. We had to stop meeting like this.