An Inspector Calls and Other Plays

by J. B. Priestley

  Oh – Mrs Pratt – ask Sam to put Mrs Ormund’s things in the car outside.

  SALLY: Your car?

  ORMUND: No, Mr Farrant’s. [As she stops and looks troubled and anxious, he adds gently] Everything will be all right, Mrs Pratt. And stop worrying about that boy of yours. He’ll have his chance. Nobody’s going to let you down.

  SALLY: Thank you, Mr Ormund. [She goes out.]

  ORMUND [quietly]: I’ll say good-bye now, Janet. I won’t come out.

  JANET: There seem to be a thousand things I want to say now, Walter.

  ORMUND: Then don’t forget them. Because some day, soon, I want to hear them. [DR GÖRTLER appears at door.] Good-bye, Janet. Keep on being happy.

  [He holds out a hand, but as she takes it she moves forward and kisses him.]

  JANET [whispering]: Dear Walter – good-bye – God bless you!

  [She hurries out, DR GÖRTLER holding the door open for her. ORMUND watches her go. There is a slight pause after she has gone.]

  ORMUND [very quietly]: Close that door, Doctor.

  DR GÖRTLER [after closing door]: I too must be going now.

  ORMUND [with a slight smile]: Having concluded the experiment. [Pause.] I am still wondering whether I believe a word of it.

  DR GÖRTLER: It is very difficult at first, like all new knowledge. [He is staring curiously at ORMUND.]

  ORMUND: You look at me as a doctor looks at his patient.

  DR GÖRTLER [calmly]: Yes, because if my theory is correct, you are now in the unusual and interesting position of a man who is moving out on a new time track, like a man who is suddenly born into a strange new world –

  ORMUND [raising his hand as the sound of FARRANT’s car going off is heard]: Just a minute, Doctor. [They listen a moment until sound of car dies away, ORMUND listening with a painful intensity.] Like a man who’s suddenly born into a strange new world, eh? Well, that’s not altogether fanciful, Görtler. I feel rather like a newborn creature. Rather cold, small, lonely. [He shivers a little.]

  DR GÖRTLER [with a little smile]: Yes, it may be hard at first. But it will pass. There are a million suns waiting to keep you warm and to light your way. [He goes towards door. ORMUND follows him slowly.] Perhaps we shall meet again. So I will say Auf Wiedersehn.

  ORMUND: Yes, we’ll meet again. Good-bye.

  [They shake hands. DR GÖRTLER goes and ORMUND stands at door looking out into the night, which faintly lights him with moonlight. As he stands there, he mechanically brings out his pipe and pouch and begins to fill the pipe. SAM enters hesitantly – pipe in hand – from the bar, and looks doubtfully and sympathetically across at ORMUND. As he clears his throat, ORMUND turns and sees him, and comes into the room, closing door behind him.]

  Well, Sam?

  SAM [with awkward kindness]: I just wondered – like – Mr Ormund – whether there might be aught I could do for you – like –

  ORMUND: Well, you can sit down and smoke your pipe, Sam.

  SAM: Ay. [Both men sit, they light their pipes, and smoke slowly.] I hear them shepherds t’other side o’ Grindle Top’s been having a bit o’ bother.

  ORMUND [slowly]: Yes, I heard something about that, Sam.

  SAM [slowly, philosophically]: Folks thinks shepherds has a quiet life, but they have their bits o’ bother, them chaps, like onnybody else.

  ORMUND: Yes, I suppose they do, Sam.

  [They are smoking away companionably, in silence, as the curtain slowly falls.]

  END OF PLAY

  An Inspector Calls

  A PLAY IN THREE ACTS

  TO MICHAEL MACOWAN

  Characters

  ARTHUR BIRLING

  SYBIL BIRLING

  SHEILA BIRLING

  ERIC BIRLING

  GERALD CROFT

  EDNA

  INSPECTOR GOOLE

  Acts

  All three Acts, which are continuous, take place in the dining-room of the Birlings’ house in Brumley, an industrial city in the North Midlands. It is an evening in spring, 1912.

  ‘An Inspector Calls’ was first produced at the New Theatre in October 1946, with the following cast:

  ARTHUR BIRLING

  Julien Mitchell

  GERALD CROFT

  Harry Andrews

  SHEILA BIRLING

  Margaret Leighton

  SYBIL BIRLING

  Marian Spencer

  EDNA

  Marjorie Dunkels

  ERIC BIRLING

  Alec Guinness

  INSPECTOR GOOLE

  Ralph Richardson

  Produced by Basil Dean

  Act One

  The dining-room of a fairly large suburban house, belonging to a prosperous manufacturer. It has good solid furniture of the period. The general effect is substantial and heavily comfortable, but not cosy and homelike. (If a realistic set is used, then it should be swung back, as it was in the Old Vic production at the New Theatre. By doing this, you can have the dining-table centre downstage during Act One, when it is needed there, and then, swinging back, can reveal the fireplace for Act Two, and then for Act Three can show a small table with telephone on it, downstage of fireplace; and by this time the dining-table and its chairs have moved well upstage. Producers who wish to avoid this tricky business, which involves two re-settings of the scene and some very accurate adjustments of the extra flats necessary, would be well advised to dispense with an ordinary realistic set, if only because the dining-table becomes a nuisance. The lighting should be pink and intimate until the INSPECTOR arrives, and then it should be brighter and harder.)

  At rise of curtain, the four BIRLINGS and GERALD are seated at the table, with ARTHUR BIRLING at one end, his wife at the other, ERIC downstage, and SHEILA and GERALD seated upstage. EDNA, the parlour-maid, is just clearing the table, which has no cloth, of dessert plates and champagne glasses, etc., and then replacing them with decanter of port, cigar box and cigarettes. Port glasses are already on the table. All five are in evening dress of the period, the men in tails and white ties, not dinner-jackets. ARTHUR BIRLING is a heavy-looking, rather portentous man in his middle fifties with fairly easy manners but rather provincial in his speech. His wife is about fifty, a rather cold woman and her husband’s social superior. SHEILA is a pretty girl in her early twenties, very pleased with life and rather excited. GERALD CROFT is an attractive chap about thirty, rather too manly to be a dandy but very much the easy well-bred young man-about-town. ERIC is in his early twenties, not quite at ease, half shy, half assertive. At the moment they have all had a good dinner, are celebrating a special occasion, and are pleased with themselves.

  BIRLING: Giving us the port, Edna? That’s right. [He pushes it towards ERIC.] You ought to like this port, Gerald. As a matter of fact, Finchley told me it’s exactly the same port your father gets from him.

  GERALD: Then it’ll be all right. The governor prides himself on being a good judge of port. I don’t pretend to know much about it.

  SHEILA [gaily, possessively]: I should jolly well think not, Gerald. I’d hate you to know all about port – like one of these purple-faced old men.

  BIRLING: Here, I’m not a purple-faced old man.

  SHEILA: No, not yet. But then you don’t know all about port – do you?

  BIRLING [noticing that his wife has not taken any]: Now then, Sybil, you must take a little tonight. Special occasion, y’know, eh?

  SHEILA: Yes, go on, Mummy. You must drink our health.

  MRS BIRLING [smiling]: Very well, then. Just a little, thank you. [To EDNA, who is about to go, with tray] All right, Edna. I’ll ring from the drawing-room when we want coffee. Probably in about half an hour.

  EDNA [going]: Yes, ma’am.

  [EDNA goes out. They now have all the glasses filled. BIRLING beams at them and clearly relaxes.]

  BIRLING: Well, well – this is very nice. Very nice. Good dinner too, Sybil. Tell cook from me.

  GERALD [politely]: Absolutely first-class.

  MRS BIRLING [reproachfully]: A
rthur, you’re not supposed to say such things –

  BIRLING: Oh – come, come – I’m treating Gerald like one of the family. And I’m sure he won’t object.

  SHEILA [with mock aggressiveness]: Go on, Gerald – just you object!

  GERALD [smiling]: Wouldn’t dream of it. In fact, I insist upon being one of the family now. I’ve been trying long enough, haven’t I? [As she does not reply, with more insistence] Haven’t I? You know I have.

  MRS BIRLING [smiling]: Of course she does.

  SHEILA [half serious, half playful]: Yes – except for all last summer, when you never came near me, and I wondered what had happened to you.

  GERALD: And I’ve told you – I was awfully busy at the works all that time.

  SHEILA [same tone as before]: Yes, that’s what you say.

  MRS BIRLING: Now, Sheila, don’t tease him. When you’re married you’ll realize that men with important work to do sometimes have to spend nearly all their time and energy on their business. You’ll have to get used to that, just as I had.

  SHEILA: I don’t believe I will. [Half playful, half serious, to GERALD] So you be careful.

  GERALD: Oh – I will, I will.

  [ERIC suddenly guffaws. His parents look at him.]

  SHEILA [severely]: Now – what’s the joke?

  ERIC: I don’t know – really. Suddenly I felt I just had to laugh.

  SHEILA: You’re squiffy.

  ERIC: I’m not.

  MRS BIRLING: What an expression, Sheila! Really, the things you girls pick up these days!

  ERIC: If you think that’s the best she can do –

  SHEILA: Don’t be an ass, Eric.

  MRS BIRLING: Now stop it, you two. Arthur, what about this famous toast of yours?

  BIRLING: Yes, of course. [Clears his throat.] Well, Gerald, I know you agreed that we should only have this quiet little family party. It’s a pity Sir George and – er – Lady Croft can’t be with us, but they’re abroad and so it can’t be helped. As I told you, they sent me a very nice cable – couldn’t be nicer. I’m not sorry that we’re celebrating quietly like this –

  MRS BIRLING: Much nicer really.

  GERALD: I agree.

  BIRLING: So do I, but it makes speech-making more difficult –

  ERIC [not too rudely]: Well, don’t do any. We’ll drink their health and have done with it.

  BIRLING: No, we won’t. It’s one of the happiest nights of my life. And one day, I hope, Eric, when you’ve a daughter of your own, you’ll understand why. Gerald, I’m going to tell you frankly, without any pretences, that your engagement to Sheila means a tremendous lot to me. She’ll make you happy, and I’m sure you’ll make her happy. You’re just the kind of son-in-law I always wanted. Your father and I have been friendly rivals in business for some time now – though Crofts Limited are both older and bigger than Birling and Company – and now you’ve brought us together, and perhaps we may look forward to the time when Crofts and Birlings are no longer competing but are working together – for lower costs and higher prices.

  GERALD: Hear, hear! And I think my father would agree to that.

  MRS BIRLING: Now, Arthur, I don’t think you ought to talk business on an occasion like this.

  SHEILA: Neither do I. All wrong.

  BIRLING: Quite so, I agree with you. I only mentioned it in passing. What I did want to say was – that Sheila’s a lucky girl – and I think you’re a pretty fortunate young man too, Gerald.

  GERALD: I know I am – this once anyhow.

  BIRLING [raising his glass]: So here’s wishing the pair of you – the very best that life can bring. Gerald and Sheila.

  MRS BIRLING [raising her glass, smiling]: Yes, Gerald. Yes, Sheila darling. Our congratulations and very best wishes!

  GERALD: Thank you.

  MRS BIRLING: Eric!

  ERIC [rather noisily]: All the best! She’s got a nasty temper sometimes – but she’s not bad really. Good old Sheila!

  SHEILA: Chump! I can’t drink to this, can I? When do I drink?

  GERALD: You can drink to me.

  SHEILA [quiet and serious now]: All right then. I drink to you, Gerald.

  [For a moment they look at each other.]

  GERALD [quietly]: Thank you. And I drink to you – and hope I can make you as happy as you deserve to be.

  SHEILA [trying to be light and easy]: You be careful – or I’ll start weeping.

  GERALD [smiling]: Well, perhaps this will help to stop it. [He produces a ring case.]

  SHEILA [excited]: Oh – Gerald – you’ve got it – is it the one you wanted me to have?

  GERALD [giving the case to her]: Yes – the very one.

  SHEILA [taking out the ring]: Oh – it’s wonderful! Look – Mummy – isn’t it a beauty? Oh – darling – [She kisses GERALD hastily.]

  ERIC: Steady the Buffs!

  SHEILA [who has put ring on, admiringly]: I think it’s perfect. Now I really feel engaged.

  MRS BIRLING: So you ought, darling. It’s a lovely ring. Be careful with it.

  SHEILA: Careful! I’ll never let it go out of my sight for an instant.

  MRS BIRLING [smiling]: Well, it came just at the right moment. That was clever of you, Gerald. Now, Arthur, if you’ve no more to say, I think Sheila and I had better go into the drawing-room and leave you men –

  BIRLING [rather heavily]: I just want to say this. [Noticing that SHEILA is still admiring her ring] Are you listening, Sheila? This concerns you too. And after all I don’t often make speeches at you –

  SHEILA: I’m sorry, Daddy. Actually I was listening.

  [She looks attentive, as they all do. He holds them for a moment before continuing.]

  BIRLING: I’m delighted about this engagement and I hope it won’t be too long before you’re married. And I want to say this. There’s a good deal of silly talk about these days – but – and I speak as a hard-headed business man, who has to take risks and know what he’s about – I say, you can ignore all this silly pessimistic talk. When you marry, you’ll be marrying at a very good time. Yes, a very good time – and soon it’ll be an even better time. Last month, just because the miners came out on strike, there’s a lot of wild talk about possible labour trouble in the near future. Don’t worry. We’ve passed the worst of it. We employers at last are coming together to see that our interests – and the interests of Capital – are properly protected. And we’re in for a time of steadily increasing prosperity.

  GERALD: I believe you’re right, sir.

  ERIC: What about war?

  BIRLING: Glad you mentioned it, Eric. I’m coming to that. Just because the Kaiser makes a speech or two, or a few German officers have too much to drink and begin talking nonsense, you’ll hear some people say that war’s inevitable. And to that I say – fiddlesticks! The Germans don’t want war. Nobody wants war, except some half-civilized folks in the Balkans. And why? There’s too much at stake these days. Everything to lose and nothing to gain by war.

  ERIC: Yes, I know – but still –

  BIRLING: Just let me finish, Eric. You’ve a lot to learn yet. And I’m talking as a hard-headed, practical man of business. And I say there isn’t a chance of war. The world’s developing so fast that it’ll make war impossible. Look at the progress we’re making. In a year or two we’ll have aeroplanes that will be able to go anywhere. And look at the way the automobile’s making headway – bigger and faster all the time. And then ships. Why, a friend of mine went over this new liner last week – the Titanic – she sails next week – forty-six thousand eight hundred tons – forty-six thousand eight hundred tons – New York in five days – and every luxury – and unsinkable, absolutely unsinkable. That’s what you’ve got to keep your eye on, facts like that, progress like that – and not a few German officers talking nonsense and a few scaremongers here making a fuss about nothing. Now you three young people, just listen to this – and remember what I’m telling you now. In twenty or thirty years’ time – let’s say, in 1940 – you may be gi
ving a little party like this – your son or daughter might be getting engaged – and I tell you by that time you’ll be living in a world that’ll have forgotten all these Capital versus Labour agitations and all these silly little war scares. There’ll be peace and prosperity and rapid progress everywhere – except of course in Russia, which will always be behindhand, naturally.

  MRS BIRLING: Arthur!

  [As MRS BIRLING shows signs of interrupting]

  BIRLING: Yes, my dear, I know – I’m talking too much. But you youngsters just remember what I said. We can’t let these Bernard Shaws and H. G. Wellses do all the talking. We hardheaded practical business men must say something sometime. And we don’t guess – we’ve had experience – and we know.

  MRS BIRLING [rising. The others rise]: Yes, of course, dear. Well – don’t keep Gerald in here too long. Eric – I want you a minute.

  [She and SHEILA and ERIC go out. BIRLING and GERALD sit down again.]

  BIRLING: Cigar?

  GERALD: No, thanks. Can’t really enjoy them.

  BIRLING [taking one himself]: Ah, you don’t know what you’re missing. I like a good cigar. [Indicating decanter] Help yourself.

  GERALD: Thank you.

  [BIRLING lights his cigar and GERALD, who has lit a cigarette, helps himself to port then pushes decanter to BIRLING.]

  BIRLING: Thanks. [Confidentially] By the way, there’s something I’d like to mention – in strict confidence – while we’re by ourselves. I have an idea that your mother – Lady Croft – while she doesn’t object to my girl – feels you might have done better for yourself socially –

  [GERALD, rather embarrassed, begins to murmur some dissent, but BIRLING checks him.]

  No, Gerald, that’s all right. Don’t blame her. She comes from an old county family – landed people and so forth – and so it’s only natural. But what I wanted to say is – there’s a fair chance that I might find my way into the next Honours List. Just a knighthood, of course.

  GERALD: Oh – I say – congratulations!