Lily could hardly breathe, or see. She wanted to hold her mother, to comfort her. Too late. Too late so long ago.
I had just found out I was pregnant with you, Lily. My family continued to work for the Devoss household and were so ashamed and angry they said awful things to me and said I should do what was kindest for them after I caused so much trouble. They would send me to Ireland, to relatives, they said.
The only relative there was an aunt who put me into a convent where they took in what they called fallen women, including those who were pregnant and not married. I was not supposed to leave at all and my baby would be taken away and given to a family in America. The sisters made money by selling the babies but they pretended it was best for everyone. I was told, over and over, that I wasn’t married because there was no church wedding.
A young nun, Sister Mary Edwin, helped me to run away. I wish I knew what happened to her but there was no way to stay in touch. I put her name on the back of your pendant, Lily – that was the prettiest gift I gave to you, my child. I came back to England and never contacted my family again.
I was so lucky but so young. I was too immature and frightened to look for help in the right places. A group of young people, about my age, had the top floor of the house where I rented a room. I was upset all the time and very pregnant. I couldn’t hide it anymore. What little money I had was running out and the group upstairs took me in. They loved that I was having a baby and when you were born, they loved you, Lily. Without them I don’t know how we would have survived. I couldn’t stop thinking about Simon – your father – and all we had lost.
That’s almost all of the story. Lily, you were our child, all of us. We all looked after you but not well enough. We did a lot of things we shouldn’t have done and got into trouble. We got into trouble many times and eventually it all fell apart for us. Stupid people, we were. But I don’t want anyone to think my friends weren’t special. They were. Silly, but kind. I have never forgotten how good they were to you and me, Lily.
You were taken away from me and put into foster care. I wanted to get you back and I tried for a long time, but then I stopped trying.
The best thing I ever did for you was stay out of your life, I got out of your life before I damaged you forever.
Forgive me.
Lily pulled the child-sized medallion from beneath the neck of her sweater. She had long ago had to put it on a much longer silver chain than the one Angela had given her as a very small girl. At last she knew the reason for using the names, Mary Edwina.
How long had she sat there, watching the ducks, watching a lone oarsman propel his scull past with the smooth rhythm of an expert?
Too long but Lily couldn’t seem to make herself move. The day had grown darker, the sky hanging heavy with snow.
She must call Alex and she must go home.
Her mobile was in the tote. She fished it out and turned it on, tried not to look at all the calls she had deliberately missed. It would be easier not to talk to Alex yet – cowardly, but easier, and she needed to gather her strength and her wits.
Lily dialed the pub number. If Alex answered, so be it.
The phone rang a number of times before it was picked up and a breathless voice said, ‘This is the kitchen – I mean this is the Black Dog. Hang on and I’ll get someone.’
‘No,’ Lily said quickly. ‘I’ll talk to you. Who is this?’
Before the woman could answer, Lily remembered that Gladys had started work today.
‘Hello, Gladys. This is Lily. How did breakfast go? I was sorry I had to be gone on your first day.’ Her heart beat hard. If she stretched this out too long, Hugh or Alex would come on the line.
‘It went really well,’ Gladys said, still breathless but sounding pleased. ‘We had a lot of customers.’
‘That’s really good. Listen. I’ve got to get on the road. Please let Alex know I won’t be too late.’
She thanked Gladys and before the woman could get another word in, hung up. Gladys always left Lily with a warm feeling. She wasn’t demonstrative, but had been there when Lily first went to Underhill and was so kind to her and little Alex.
The Ford was in a car park on the Eton side of the Windsor Bridge. Lily gathered her things back into the tote and set off at a brisk walk. The sooner she was on her way, the better, even though she wasn’t sure how she would explain her absence. Perhaps with the truth. Like Lily, Alex had a right to know these things. It could be that if she had discussed her own history much earlier, she would have had the courage to tell Alex hers.
By the time she reached her car, snow began to fall lightly. Her hands were cold and she rubbed them together, smiling as a gaggle of kids rushed by screaming with laughter. They attempted to scrape enough snow for snowballs but the results fell apart in the air.
The mobile rang as Lily opened her car door.
Her first thought was that Gladys had already told Alex about the call, but when she checked, she saw ‘unknown caller’.
In the front seat, she continued to look at the phone and eventually sighed, relieved when the ringing finally stopped. She closed and locked the doors, started the car and turned on the wonky heating system. It would take a while to warm up and clear the inside of the windows.
The mobile rang again.
The readout was the same.
A lot of people preferred not to broadcast their numbers. She took a breath and answered. ‘Yes. Who is this please?’
‘Where are you?’ It must be Alex and she sounded muffled, as if she was crying.
‘I just had to get away for a bit. Too much seems to be happening so I wanted to have a chance to clear my head. I came to a place I knew when I was a kid. This is … I’ve never been back before. I’ll be on my way home again soon. Don’t worry.’
‘Are you in London?’
‘No. I was, but I love it here by the river. I’ll tell you all about it later. All of it, this time.’
Alex didn’t answer but Lily could tell she was still on the phone. ‘I came here with my mother, Alex. It’s difficult to talk about on the phone. Let me come home first.’
Nothing. Lily held back tears. ‘Say something, please.’
‘I’m a friend. An old friend, Lily. Don’t you recognize my voice? You’ll hurt my feelings if you don’t. But I recognize yours so please just listen to what I want to tell you. We have some catching up to do. It’s for your own good so listen carefully.’
Shocked, Lily hung up. Her hands might be cold on the inside but on the outside, they were sweating. She rested her forehead on the wheel. Who was it? What did they want? A woman’s voice but husky the way people who smoked a lot had husky voices sometimes. She must have got the wrong number. But she knew Lily’s name!
Once more the phone rang and she pressed the talk button, took the instrument to her ear.
‘Don’t do that again. It’s not wise. Just listen. This is Beverly Irving. Your dearest friend, remember? I’m the one who rescued you when you had nowhere to turn.’
Lily breathed through her mouth, gulped air through her mouth. It couldn’t be. The memories flooded back and mingled with thoughts of Angela, and her own childhood. Some might look at Lily’s life, at Alex’s beginnings, and say, ‘like mother like daughter’, but it wasn’t the same. Angela’s story had been different.
But Beverly Irving wasn’t supposed to find them again. Lily had changed their last name – even though Beverly had eventually promised not to come near them again. Lily had worked hard to find a new life for Alex and herself, away from Beverly Irving, social worker, with designs on Alex.
Beverly started laughing and Lily clutched the phone tightly.
‘Take a proper breath, Lily. You always were an anxious little thing and I can’t have you dying on me now. You might draw attention we don’t want. I know you’ve been to pick up the things your dreadful mother left for you.’
Lily slapped a hand over her mouth to keep the exclamation in.
‘Unfo
rtunately, I wasn’t able to get to them first, but we all trust the wrong people from time to time. Another lesson learned for me. Now. I can imagine some of what has been passed on to you. Take it with a pinch of salt, my dear. Forget it. More important, you are not to drag up anything that happened while we were together. I have worked too long and too hard to build my own life and I like it. I cannot have you or your daughter spreading lies that could upset my family. You don’t know my family and never will – that’s as it should be. So, forget any ideas you may have of digging up the past. You were well paid to forget but I have reason to doubt that you have kept your end of our bargain. Regardless, you will get nothing further from me.
‘If you ignore what I’m saying and go to the police, I’m afraid someone you care for will suffer. Goodbye.’
FOURTEEN
‘That Hill woman’s here again,’ Hugh said, sitting beside Alex at a table in the restaurant.
She was going over room bookings, trying to bury her anxiety about Lily, who hadn’t shown up or checked in all morning, or even by the middle of the afternoon. Doc and Tony had devised a plan they didn’t share with Alex although they assured her they would have good news the next time they spoke.
How could they know?
‘Alex?’ Hugh smiled when he had her attention. ‘Our visitor?’
‘Can you get rid of her?’ she asked. ‘Why would she be back again, particularly so soon?’
‘I don’t know the answer, luv. She’s got another woman with her – very upper crust. Silver bob and velvet hairband – probably expensive surgery. That type. Major money, if I had to guess. Quiet but watchful – or what I can make out behind her dark glasses looks as if she is.’
‘You make her sound appealing,’ Alex said, keeping her voice down. Not that she would be heard from the saloon bar if she shouted. ‘Thank goodness we didn’t have many for lunch today. The weather’s keeping people away. Gladys Lymer fitting in OK, is she?’
‘You bet. Even starchy Phil is singing her praises and he’s never been one to like new people in his kitchen.’
‘Good. Any breakfasts ordered this morning?’
Hugh’s expressive brown eyes sparkled. ‘Word got out. We served thirty. I didn’t expect that. We got people using the snow as an excuse to be late to work, I think. And some of the regulars showed up as well – probably to support Gladys.’
Alex remembered to close her mouth. ‘Wow. That’s stupendous. And she can do that almost on her own, right?’
‘You’ve got it. Liz Hadley came in to give a hand and it ran like silk. If word gets around we could have standing room only on our hands. I think we wore Gladys out on her first day. I’ve packed her off home. Er, Alex, what about—’
‘OK, OK. I’ll go and talk to Esme Hill but I can’t think why she’s here again. I’d rather forget about that horrible fire.’
‘Did you see the articles in the papers today?’ Hugh made a face. ‘Nasty stuff.’
‘I expected to see something a couple of days ago. I think O’Reilly must have some sort of magic inside help with keeping the lid on things.’
Hugh crossed his arms. ‘Or someone with influence does. But even a magician can’t keep that up for long. It all sounds complicated to me – the case, I mean. Lance Pullinger doesn’t come off as a nice type. But there’s always speculation mixed in with fact. There’re copies of the papers in the kitchen if you want to see them.’
Alex took the route from the dining room, through the short passage past the snug into the mostly empty main bar. The two women she sought sat at a table near one of the front windows and she had a chance to observe them briefly.
Esme wore another set of workout clothes, these turquoise and black, but the body warmer zipped on top was of glistening black fur, sable perhaps, and a wonderful foil for her red hair. Her long legs, elegantly sloped to one side and crossed at the ankles, ended in boots coated with dark fur from knee to ankle. The same alpaca cardigan she’d worn before was tossed over the back of her chair.
The silver-bobbed companion of the major dark glasses was porcelain-faced with pouting, earth-pink lips which parted to reveal perfect and very white teeth when she spoke. Her body was also encased in spandex, this outfit in grey and black pinstripes with deep pink gussets. These were two majorly fit and eye-worthy figures.
The pair looked as if they’d accidentally wandered into Marks & Spencer on their way to Brown’s.
Liz Hadley, tall and elegant herself and still struggling to keep a ladies’ dress shop afloat in Broadway, appeared and set down two drinks Alex couldn’t identify from her vantage point. As soon as Liz left, Alex stood as tall as 5’3’ could manage and went to the table.
‘Hello, ladies,’ she said, with her best welcoming smile. ‘Esme, I didn’t expect to see you again.’
Esme Hill looked up at her. ‘You should have. Places like this are gems, my dear. I believe in encouraging people who try so hard.’
Alex’s smile felt fixed. ‘Thank you.’
‘Join us,’ Esme said. She stirred her drink with a plastic stick and took a sip, followed by a long swallow. ‘Lovely,’ she said. ‘I adore a good mojito. Your man knows how to muddle his mint.’
‘Welcome back,’ Alex said. ‘I’m pleased we made such a good first impression on you. I really shouldn’t stop now. We’re short staffed, so—’
‘Oh, come on, darling. Being the boss has its bennies.’ Esme pulled a chair closer to her and patted the seat. ‘Sit by me. I insist. Meet my good friend Audra, Lady Mekins. Audra’s husband is Sir Hillary, the surgeon. Audra, meet Alex Duggins, landlady and owner of the Black Dog.’
The woman extended a well-manicured but capable-looking hand and gave Alex’s a surprisingly firm shake. ‘Nice to meet you, Alex. Please call me Audra. What’s your poison?’ A pleasant, husky but rather quiet voice.
‘Thank you.’ Alex sat and caught Hugh’s eye. ‘I think I’ll have coffee. I’ve still got a long day ahead.’
Hugh sauntered over beneath the approving gaze of the two women.
‘Is there coffee?’ Alex asked in a raised voice and, as she’d intended, with a wave, he turned back. ‘How far did you have to drive? It’s treacherous today.’
‘Audra and I take yoga. That’s where we met ages ago. We also do high impact aerobics and pilates, just not all on the same day.’ She chuckled at her little joke. ‘I doubt any weather would keep us from our appointed classes. We came from Temple Guiting, where I live. Dear Audra comes down from London to stay with me regularly and keeps us both on our toes.’
‘Good for you.’ Alex smiled. ‘I have to make do with running around here and exercising my dog. But I promise myself that when I’m older and have more time …’ Speaking of little jokes.
Audra tipped back her head and laughed. She wiped at tearing eyes beneath her glasses and sniffed. ‘Indeed. When my son was younger I didn’t seem to have much time for myself. Of course, I had a nanny but I was one of those mothers who had to see every little thing he did for the first time – or the tenth time. Winston was a wonderful child. He’s still wonderful. Do you have children?’
‘Afraid not but I still live in hope.’
Liz brought coffee and cream with a plate of Bourbon biscuits and Alex thanked her. ‘I expect Hugh told you how well breakfast went this morning,’ Liz said. ‘Gladys left you a little note on the cork board. She was bubbling about the good turnout.’ She went away before Alex could say anything.
‘That’s Liz Hadley,’ Alex said. ‘She has that lovely dress shop in the arcade – in Broadway. All Shades, it’s called. Take a look if you go that way – or make it a destination.’ These were the type of clients Liz catered to.
‘We might just do that,’ Audra said. She hadn’t taken her veiled eyes off Alex since she arrived at the table. Not a comfortable feeling.
‘Your people like you, don’t they,’ Esme said. ‘They seem happy. That’s rather sweet. Did you read the articles that came out in the papers t
oday about the suspicious deaths? I must say I thought they were a bit lurid. Lance was a good man and he certainly didn’t deserve to die like that. Not that I’m any the wiser about exactly how he did die. But they paint him as a sneaky lothario of some sort. Completely unnecessary. My husband doesn’t show much emotion but he’s very upset. Lance was his dear friend.’
‘I’ll read them,’ Alex said, wishing she could get away and start now. ‘Was there something you wanted to talk to me about, or is this just a lovely uncomplicated pleasure stop?’
Lady Mekins reached across the table to press one of Esme’s hands. ‘Have some of your mojito darling. I just know everything’s going to be all right.’
‘Of course it is.’ Esme sounded snappish. ‘Forgive me, Audra. I know you want to help and I’m grateful. This is just so unexpected. And it doesn’t help that Bob is a basket case and Carmen’s sloping around like a lovesick calf while she supposedly sympathizes with him.’
‘Bob’s got a lot on his mind,’ Lady Mekins said. ‘And Carmen adores her daddy. She’s probably worried to death about him. Alex, I’ve heard how you walked into the whole thing with that nasty fire. Did you see all of it?’
‘Not all, but enough,’ Alex said. She looked at her watch. As soon as she could get away she would try to call Tony. Radhika at the clinic might have heard something.
‘So you were there when the fire people arrived. How long did it take to put out the fire?’
Alex gave the woman a speculative look. This started to sound like an interrogation. ‘They were very efficient. I don’t know how long it took. I was a bit disoriented by everything.’
‘Lance’s body. You saw it?’ Audra Mekins had the grace to blush. ‘Forgive me for being curious but one can’t help trying to work out how everything happened and how the two deaths were tied together. I expect the police told you something about that.’
‘No, they didn’t. And I didn’t see the body, thank goodness. I was too far away. It’s not the police’s way to talk about cases to civilians.’
Audra leaned back in her chair, a downward jerk at the corners of her mouth. ‘You’re being coy. We know all about the wonderful help you’ve been to the authorities on more than a couple of occasions. You must have some ideas about all this. What do you really think?’
Whisper the Dead Page 10