Her mom gave the baby a careful going-over, lightly touching her head again. “She’s awfully cute,” she decided. “I don’t usually think babies are much to look at, but this one’s got a very pretty face. When she gets rid of this peach fuzz and gets some hair, she’s going to be a doll. Did Avery know a guy who wanted to help her out? Or did she have to go to one of those…fertility clinics? Is that right?”
“I have no idea how Lisbet got here. Avery and I only talked to each other for a few minutes before I was trying to entice her into letting me take the baby.” She looked up and smiled. “I was hoping Avery would stay home.”
“Does she live in town?”
“Brooklyn. That much I know.”
Her mother rolled her eyes. “What is wrong with her? It’s hard enough to have a baby when you’ve got a husband. Doing it alone is insane.” She shook her head in a very dismissive way. “Boy, that’s what you get for making fun of people. They call that karma,” she added, looking very satisfied.
“Nice.” Casey took the spent bottle from Lisbet’s mouth and started to burp her again. “You want to make Avery’s life hard because she teased me?”
“I’m talking about her being gay. She teased you for it, and now she’s in the same boat.”
“Seriously?” Casey stared up at her. “My sexual orientation is like a curse?”
Her mom caught her by the sleeve and tugged hard. She wasn’t very big, and she didn’t look very strong, but all of her baking had given her an iron grip. “Listen here, young lady. I’ve been more than supportive of your… Of your everything,” she stressed. “So don’t give me that pout. All I meant was that the girl made fun of gay people, then she became one. That’s karma.”
“Really? What if she’d made fun of my .725 batting average, then became a great hitter herself. Would that be karma?”
“Why would anyone make fun of you for being a good hitter? It’s not the same at all.” She gently ran her hand across Casey’s hair, the same way she’d just touched Lisbet. “I certainly didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Casey pulled back and forced herself to remove the pout she knew was still apparent. “Sorry. I’ve still got that one sore spot, and it bugs me. Janelle and the other snots made my high school years miserable. But I learned how to ignore them, and I’m stronger for it. I should thank Avery and her gang.”
“What you should do is give that baby right back without giving Avery the impression you’re going to watch it routinely. It might seem like fun for an afternoon, but trust me, it gets old fast.”
As Casey watched her walk back into the house, she mused, not for the first time, that her mom had fewer good things to say about parenthood than any mother she’d ever met. It was clear she tried to be connected to her kids, and her grandkids, and equally clear that it wasn’t something that came naturally.
***
Avery stirred, stiff and achy. Her breasts felt like rocks, and her back hurt from lying in one place for too long. The bed seemed… She stuck her hand out, feeling much more mattress than she should have. As her eyes opened, she gasped in surprise, not recognizing a thing. It was dark, but there were windows in front of her… Casey’s place. She took a few deep breaths, trying to get her heart to stop racing. Doing the mental calculation that now ruled every minute of every day, she realized she hadn’t fed Lisbet since one o’clock, and it had to be after eight. There was no way the baby would go that long without losing her shit!
Scrambling out of the fantastic bed, she found her sandals, then tried to figure out how to get out of the room. After fumbling around, her hand landed on a lamp, and she switched it on to be able to see a normal garage door keypad by the doors. With the touch of a button, the doors opened quietly, swinging wide enough to drive a bus through.
She stopped abruptly, seeing her mother’s car parked right in front of her. This was getting weirder and weirder.
Continuing to follow voices in the distance, she wound up on a patio that fronted the most beautiful pool she’d ever seen, lit with subtle, warm lights that made it seem like some kind of Shangri-La.
It wasn’t easy, but she tore her attention away from the pool to find her mom, Casey’s mom and dad, Casey, and Lisbet seated in a circle, all of them eating dinner.
“Am I in heaven?” she asked as she approached. “A warm, summer night. A gorgeous pool. A quiet baby. Food…”
“I thought we were going to have to leave you here all night,” her mom said.
“Let me get you a plate.” Casey’s mom jumped to her feet and started for the house. “It’s just penne with summer vegetables, but it’s pretty good.”
“Thank you,” Avery said, too in debt at this point to refuse further favors.
“Come sit down,” Chris said, getting up to pull another chair into the circle. “Your baby doesn’t need a thing. But I wish you’d been here a few minutes ago. Watching Casey try to feed the baby peas and sweet potato was a kick.”
“You what?” Avery tried to keep the shock from her voice, but knew she hadn’t managed it. Lisbet had never had a whole piece of vegetable, and the thought of her choking…
“Mashed,” her mom immediately clarified. “Casey called me when she realized Lisbet needed another bottle, so I drove over with one from the freezer. While I was at it, I brought some of the vegetables we made last night.”
“Damn,” Avery sighed, sitting down in a remarkably comfortable spring chair. “It really does take a village, doesn’t it?”
“That’s what I’ve been telling Chris and Marsha,” her mom said, finally revealing Casey’s mom’s name. “I spend a good portion of every day wishing you lived closer so I could help more.”
Marsha carried a bowl of penne over to Avery, adding a napkin wrapped around a fork and a spoon. “I put a little grated Parmesan on the pasta,” she said. “I hope you eat cheese.”
“She eats everything,” her mom said. “She always has.”
“I do,” Avery confirmed. “I can’t thank you enough, Marsha.”
“Oh, it was nothing,” she said breezily. “I love to cook, and having people over lets me get rid of some of the squash and tomatoes Chris grows. I’m going to have Casey take all of the excess over to the food bank on Monday. We’re drowning in the things, and the season’s only started.”
Avery took a bite of her dinner and made very appreciative noises. “Truly delicious,” she mumbled around a mouthful. “I should be feeding my baby, but you snooze you lose.”
“She can wait for another couple of hours,” her mom said.
“Maybe she can, but I can’t. I didn’t bring my pump.”
“Mmm. I don’t know how you girls do it,” Marsha said. “Can you imagine having a kid taller or stronger than this one?” she asked, pointing a finger at Casey. “If formula slowed her down a little, all the better.”
“They say breast milk can increase IQ by a few points,” Casey said, not looking up from where she gently rocked Lisbet in her carrier. “Some say I could have used a boost there.”
“Ridiculous,” her mom said. “You’re plenty smart.”
“Luckily, you don’t need to be a genius to do your job,” Chris said. He had a perfectly pleasant expression on his face, leading you to think he was just stating a fact. But what a rude fact! “You’re good at the science of beer making. You found your spot.” He looked at Avery’s mom and said, “My son’s a CPA out in Nevada, and my other daughter’s a VP at Mountain Peak in Denver. Formula didn’t hurt them.” He put a little extra stress on the “them,” leading Avery to think he was inferring it might have hurt Casey. What in the hell was his problem with her?
Avery took another look at Casey, just able to make out her features in the gentle light. She certainly didn’t look upset, but Avery would have snapped at him if he’d said anything close to that to her. Casey either had a thick skin, or she was secretly plotting his demise and needed to live at home to take advantage of every opportunity.
Chapter
Three
Casey walked into her office on Monday morning, pleased to see Ben already working away. There were a lot of benefits to working at Kaaterskill Brewery, but the biggest one was the flexible schedule. The owners were very strong believers in getting the work done when you were at your best, so they never said a word when one of the office employees wanted to come in at five a.m., or five p.m., although that had never happened to Casey’s knowledge.
Julie, Ben’s wife, was a social worker, now working for the school district, but when Benji had been young she’d worked at the local hospital, doing the evening shift. Since Ben was able to come in early and leave early, she could do the four to midnight shift, meaning they’d never had to pay for childcare for Benji. That also meant that Ben had been in charge of getting the kid fed, dressed, and ready for school, or day camp, depending on the time of year, which had, in Casey’s opinion, made him a much better, more involved dad than most of the guys she knew.
“Hey there,” she said. “Been in long?”
“About an hour,” he said, checking his watch. “The baseball camp Benji’s in doesn’t start until ten, which is stupid, in my opinion. But he likes it because he can sleep in. Since Julie’s in charge of feeding him and making sure he’s got all his gear, I can get in super early.”
“You could come in later, after you drop him off at camp.”
“Yeah, I could,” he said, stretching his big arms out in front of himself and yawning. “But then I’d still be at work when he’s ready for pick-up. Sucks,” he added. “Summer day camps are a huge pain in the butt. They cost a ton, and start at weird times. I guess their target audience is super rich people who don’t work.”
“That must be three people around here. Tops.” She put her huge, stainless coffee mug on her desk and kicked off her flip-flops, then pulled her boots out from under her desk. Casey thought she kind of rocked the cargo shorts and steel-toed boots look, but she’d never gotten confirmation of that from any of her coworkers. Straight guys just did not appreciate dyke style.
As she pulled on a pair of dark green wool socks, she said, “You’ll never guess who came to my pool party on Saturday afternoon.”
“You had a pool party and didn’t invite me? And now you’re gloating over it?”
He was clearly teasing, but he did it so well it would have fooled anyone who didn’t know him.
“Yeah, I think that’s what I’m doing.” She started to lace her fawn-colored boot. “I had a six-month-old baby all to myself for a couple of hours.”
“Until the police tracked you down?”
She laughed. “I had permission, but it was a great afternoon. Damn, I love kids.”
“I do too,” he said. “So long as I’m related to them. Other than that? They’re major pains in the butt. I wouldn’t give you ten bucks for all of the kids in Benji’s baseball camp. Bunch of little jerks.”
“Yeah, well, we don’t feel the same.”
“I can’t figure out why you like kids so much. You’re crazier about them than the gymnastics coach my sister had in high school, and that guy’s in prison.”
“He molested your—”
“No, thank god. He liked kids younger than her. Like I said, he’s in prison, but he should be dead.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Casey said. “So…I hope we can agree that I like kids for non-perverted reasons, right?”
He smiled at her. “I leave my kid with you for long weekends, so if you’re sketchy, I’m worse.”
“Also debatable. But I’m not going to be able to make you understand why I like kids so much.”
“Why not? You’re good at explaining things. You’ve got a scientific mind.”
“For the same reason I can’t express why I don’t like video games,” she said. “I just don’t.”
“Well, that’s just dumb. I gave you my number one best friend slot, and you pay me back by refusing to play Fortnite with me.”
She lifted her shoulders as high as they’d go, then let them drop. “Can’t explain it. Just don’t like games. But seeing the world through a baby’s eyes gives me a real high. They’re completely innocent little sponges who aren’t ever mean, or vindictive, or narrow-minded.”
“Some babies are mean little cusses,” he said, laughing.
“No way. They’re all innocent until we screw them up.” She finished with her boots, then stood and stomped on each to make sure they were comfortably laced. “I really dig being with them before they’ve been ruined. They’re like puppies, but one day they’ll be able to talk. That gives them a leg up in my book.”
He gazed up at her for a minute, looking like he was on the verge of saying something. But when he hesitated she said, “Yes? I can see a question forming.”
He shook his head quickly. “I…um, I don’t mean this to sound rude, but does the baby-loving gene skip a generation?”
She couldn’t help but laugh at the uncharacteristically timid expression on his face. “I won’t tell my parents you think they hate babies.”
“Not hate,” he added quickly. “But neither one of them has ever shown any interest in Benji, which is kind of weird…”
She sat on the edge of his desk and said, “You’re not wrong. Obviously. But the gene must have skipped two generations, since none of my grandparents were wild about kids, especially small ones.”
He looked positively stunned when their eyes met. “But your grandmother loved you!”
“She sure did,” Casey said, giving him a confident smile. “But she wasn’t all lovey-dovey or anything. Her thing was encouraging me to be strong and courageous and self-sufficient. She had no patience for whining or crying. Heck, she wasn’t much for hugging. My grandmother was a great mentor, but I don’t ever remember her letting me sit on her lap.”
“Huh.” He gazed up at her again. “So it’s a non-heritable trait?”
“Maybe.” She thought for a moment, deciding whether to just brush this off. But Ben was her best friend, and she tried to be as forthcoming as she could when he asked a direct question. “I think I try to give every kid I meet a little love since I know how much they need it.” She could have cried if she’d let herself, but she’d be damned if she’d cry at work—even with just Ben around. “Giving kids something I didn’t get fills me up, Ben. Nothing brings me as much pleasure.”
“God damn,” he sighed, looking like he might cry as well. “That…”
“Nobody gets to be an adult without some bumps and bruises, right? But look at the bright side. I’m remarkably mentally healthy for a woman raised like a stray cat.”
“That you are,” he said, smiling up at her like he wanted to wrap her in a hug and not let her go. He shook off the feeling by picking up his mechanical pencil to start running it down a column of numbers. “Where’d you get this lucky kid, anyway.”
“A woman I went to high school with. Avery Nichols. You saw her once. At Friday Night Flights.”
“Avery Nichols. The name sounds familiar, but I can’t place her. Does she live in town?”
“Brooklyn,” she said, seeing recognition dawn in his pale eyes.
“Is that the—?”
“Yes, she’s the woman who teased me in high school.”
“Bullied,” he corrected. “Teasing is when you make fun of someone’s new shoes or a bad haircut. Bullying’s when you try to destroy someone’s self-image.”
“Then she definitely didn’t bully me, since my self-image is kind of awesome.”
“Come on, Casey! What in the hell are you doing?”
“I was in Hudson, where her parents live, I ran into her on the street. She had a bad cold, and a wide-awake baby. I offered to watch the kid while Avery took a nap.”
“So you’re rewarding her for being a jerk in high school.”
“I’m not rewarding her, Ben. And, like I told you, I don’t recall Avery personally taunting me. It was her friends, one in particular, who were the idiots.”
“Jerks hang aro
und with jerks,” he said, pronouncing the words like they were gospel.
“I think that’s more true than not. That’s why I didn’t call her after we met up that night, even though she’s cute as hell, and was giving me signs that she’d be up for it.”
“But you spent the day watching her baby.” He narrowed his eyes a bit as he said, “Isn’t she the one with the mom you like?”
“I do. But not like that. There isn’t a single female member of the Nichols family that I want to get with, okay? I’m a decent human who wanted to help out another human who was having a bad day. You may shoot me for that if you’d like.”
“I don’t want to shoot you,” he said, with his deep voice gentling. “I just don’t want you to give your time to an idiot who might hurt you again.”
“I’m not fifteen any more, Ben. I don’t give people the opportunity to hurt me. But if I can spend more time with a perfectly sweet baby, I’m going to grab the chance.”
Chapter Four
At two a.m. on the following Wednesday, Avery jerked to attention when Lisbet let out a wail. This was off-schedule for her, but those little lungs could peel the paint off the walls when she was unhappy, and Lisbet Kendall Nichols was clearly unhappy at the moment.
Avery got to her feet and peered at her daughter, realizing that her cry wasn’t her usual one. She’d eaten only two hours ago, and she was reliably going for four or even more hours between meals overnight, so this wail probably didn’t signal hunger.
She picked Lisbet up and tried to soothe her while checking her diaper, which was clean and dry. The baby was warm, but it had to be eighty in the room, with their ineffective fan not doing much to move the air around.
“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” she murmured, with Lisbet fussing and fighting against being held. Avery put her back down and turned on the nightlight that broadcast the star-filled night sky onto the ceiling, one of their nighttime rituals. That didn’t help a bit, so she removed the baby’s thin cotton onesie, thinking she might be overheated.
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