“Look after these nice people, whose baby I just stole, and make sure they have a table and stools. There’s a few extra in the third greenhouse if you can’t find any. Just wheel one of the spools over to wherever they want to sit.” She clapped him on the shoulder. “And go to the side door of the food truck and get them some tacos. Got it?”
“No!” Kathy said. “We can buy our own food, Casey. You don’t need to spoil us like that.”
Jackson acted like he hadn’t heard Kathy’s comment. “Got it. Tacos, table, stools.”
“Three stool,” she said. “There’s another adult wandering around, and she probably needs one the most.”
***
Avery had very clearly realized how much she’d needed a break, but it wasn’t until she was with her parents, without her baby, that the relief began to flood through her.
As a writer, she often stopped to assess how she felt, trying, in her mind, to put words to feelings and experiences that would be lost if she didn’t mark them in some way. She’d spent less time on this lifelong habit since Lisbet had been born, and she acknowledged how she’d lost some of her usual way of making a place for herself in the world.
She didn’t have a single regret about how and when she’d given birth, but it was insane to act like every day was filled with joy. There were, thankfully, moments of joy that usually struck when she least expected them. But some days had just a few. It was already dinner time, and this moment was the first truly pleasurable one she’d had all day.
Lisbet hadn’t slept well, and neither had Avery, mostly because of the heat. But sometime during the night Con Ed had shown up to dig a hole in the street that, when she’d checked in the morning, had to have been fifteen feet square, extending down into the earth to where only blackness revealed itself. Having jackhammers rattling your brain for a couple of hours wasn’t the best way to start your day, and her nerves were still on edge. The only fun part of the experience had been when most of the lights in the neighboring apartments flicked on, windows were thrown open, and curses rained down on the workers like a summer squall. She hadn’t joined in on that, of course. If her power had gone out, she’d want someone to get to the root of the problem, even if it disturbed a lot of people. But she often took pleasure in witnessing New Yorkers vent their spleens. It was probably good for the soul.
She’d had trouble getting any work done in the few hours she’d had available, since they’d had to leave for the train at ten to make sure they caught the eleven thirty. Leaving that early was kind of nuts, but her round trip ticket was only a hundred and thirty dollars if they went off-peak.
They’d gotten caught in a brief shower on the way to the subway, and her wet clothing had her shivering in the frosty-cold subway car all the way to Penn Station. She’d had to read the same two books to Lisbet for over two hours, since she’d tried to limit the load she had to carry. But when your baby was wide awake on a long train ride, you had to do whatever you could to entertain her. All in all, it had been a long, expensive slog. But she was home now, with people who loved both her and Lisbet. People who seemed so much calmer, and…saner. They were a little less colorful, admittedly, but sanity had its benefits when it came to protecting a small child whom you would die for without a second thought.
Avery knew that being tethered to your baby was pretty hard-wired, but having a break from Lisbet felt so damn good she knew she should have been wracked with guilt. But she wasn’t. She was relishing the chance to emerge from her baby cocoon and actually look around.
“Except for the heat, I don’t think I’ve noticed it was summer,” she said when she approached her father, who was sitting alone at a table nursing a beer.
“It’s been a long spring, and summer’s only been in gear for a week or two. At least up here. I’ve been looking at the weather app on my phone every day to see the temperature in Brooklyn,” he admitted. “It’s been much warmer there.”
“Ooo,” she purred, tucking both arms around his waist and leaning into him. “You love us.”
“You know I do,” he said, with his cheeks coloring. He was a very connected father, and was clearly enjoying being a grandfather, but he’d never been comfortable showing much emotion.
Her mom came up behind them and wrapped them both in a quick hug. “Two of my favorite people,” she said. “I wonder if we’ll ever get the third back?”
Seeing her mom without the baby hit Avery like a punch. “Where’s Lisbet?”
“Casey’s here,” her mother said. “She swooped Lisbet away the minute she saw your father carrying her.”
She patted the flesh over her heart. “When will I stop overreacting every time she’s out of my sight?”
“Years,” her mother said. “Years and years.”
“Well, I’m glad Lisbet’s with someone who gets such a charge out of being with her. I assume Lisbet’s already the belle of the brewery.”
***
They ate their tacos, had a long, uninterrupted conversation, and listened to a very talented reggae group. Then, on the advice of a little boy, Avery went to the back of the greenhouse, where they’d built a fire in a pit, offering free s’mores to everyone who wanted to craft their own. She made four, gobbling down two when her father prudently only had one. She couldn’t predict what would happen if a bar in Brooklyn offered not only free food, but easy access to fire, not to mention pointed metal rods, but she was certain at least one ambulance would be called. It truly wasn’t that people in Brooklyn were less civilized, but if only one percent of the population were troublemakers, that meant twenty-five thousand people needed to be closely supervised, and there were only so many cops.
She’d caught brief sightings of Casey throughout the night, confirming with a thumb’s up every time Casey offered the same gesture. Lisbet seemed as happy as a clam, turning her little head around to respond to all of the adulation she was receiving.
They’d been at the brewery for at least three hours, and she knew her baby vacation was nearing an end. “My breasts are ready to go,” she said quietly. “Expect to hear wailing soon.”
“I’ll go find Casey so we can get going,” her dad said. “You’ll need some privacy, right?”
“Actually, I’d rather feed her here. Then she’ll be sound asleep when we get home.” She put her hand on her dad’s and patted it. “Don’t worry. I’ve nursed her on the subway. Whatever privacy standards I was used to are in the distant past.” She looked up, able to hear the first grumbling from her very vocal baby. “Here she comes now.” Looking up, she met Casey’s eyes. “Good call. You got her at the early warning stage.”
Casey looked a little sheepish. “She started nuzzling against me, and I don’t think it was from affection.”
They did the handoff, with Avery holding Lisbet up to eye-level for a moment, just to let her get her bearings. Then she draped a light blanket over her shoulder and started to adjust her clothing. Lisbet didn’t like to nurse under a blanket, but she didn’t actively fight it if she was hungry enough. While Avery definitely felt she had the right to nurse her whenever and wherever, sometimes it was easier to cover up. As soon as she had her in her preferred position, Avery was able to resume the conversation, but Casey was studiously looking everywhere else. That wasn’t uncommon, even for women.
“Hey,” Avery said. “I want to thank you for giving me a break. Even when my mom or dad is holding her, I’m still on high-alert. Not being able to see her let me stand down for a while. Much appreciated.”
“We had a blast. I introduced her to at least twenty-five people. She’s the belle of the brewery.”
“That’s exactly what I predicted she’d be,” Avery said, laughing. “My six month old is the belle of the brewery, and I can’t have a single beer.”
“Why can’t you?” Casey asked, looking at the top of her head.
“Beer is one of the many things I gave up when I was pregnant. I’ve been able to reintroduce a lot of things, but alcohol’s str
ictly off the table. I miss it on a warm summer night.”
“Oh, have a beer,” her mom said. “One won’t hurt you.”
“Nice!” Avery laughed. “Should I smoke a little crack?”
“Is it the alcohol you’re worried about?” Casey asked. “Or did you develop some allergy…”
“It’s the alcohol,” Avery said, shifting her gaze from her mom to Casey. “Have you two never heard about fetal alcohol syndrome?”
“Unless things have changed, Lisbet’s not a fetus,” Casey said, looking very professorial as she spoke. “A glass of our lager is four point eight percent alcohol. You weigh…what? A hundred and twenty?”
“I used to,” she said, looking down at the baby. “I’m around one forty now.”
“Even better. I could do the math if I had a calculator, but the amount of alcohol in your blood after one beer would be insignificant.”
“So I could pump and dump?” She tried not to look as interested in the proposition as she really was. The thought of a drink to ease the stress of her week was a powerful lure.
“You wouldn’t have to dump. The alcohol will dissipate significantly within two hours, and it would be undetectable within four.” She smiled. “A lot of moms want to have a beer, so I’ve memorized the facts.”
“So since she’s eating now… I could feed her again at midnight?”
“It takes thirty to ninety minutes for the alcohol to reach your bloodstream, so, even though it might not look very good, the best time to have a drink is when you start nursing.” She smiled, looking absolutely adorable when she revealed those white, straight teeth. “One of my chemistry teachers had a baby, and she knew the math cold.”
“I’m more than willing to believe you. We’ve already driven Lisbet around without her car seat, why not slug some booze down?”
Casey patted her shoulder. “How about eight ounces of low alcohol beer?” She gazed at Avery with a sober expression. “The problem with drinking isn’t so much the alcohol getting into the baby’s blood. It’s caring for a baby when you’re impaired.”
“I’ll have plenty of supervision tonight,” Avery said. “If a cup of beer hits me like a locomotive, my mom can take over.”
“And I will,” she said firmly.
As Casey walked away, Avery sighed. “I wish I could afford to hire her to be my au pair. My life would improve by a thousand percent.”
“I’m just glad you’re smiling,” her mom said. “That’s the first time you haven’t looked stressed out all night.”
“I feel like a kid on Halloween, stuffing my face with chocolate. I know I shouldn’t be doing it, but I’m thrilled at the prospect of having something I love, but haven’t touched in over a year.”
Casey returned in a few minutes, leaning over to say, “If you don’t want to get any lethal stares, we should probably go somewhere a little more private. Want to follow me?”
“I’d follow you anywhere for that beer,” Avery said. “I can already taste it.”
“You’d better keep an eye on her,” Casey said, turning to her mom and dad. “I feel like I’m giving someone their first hit on a crack pipe.”
“Let’s move,” Avery said, poking her in the back. “That beer’s getting warm.”
They walked over to the next greenhouse, devoid of plants or people. But it still smelled of earth and something green that had grown there in the recent past. There were low plywood tables set up all around the perimeter, and Casey brushed the dirt off one with her hand before they sat.
“I need to move her to the other side,” Avery said, smiling when Casey’s gaze flew up to the translucent roof. “You don’t have to avert your eyes, you know. I’ve lost every shred of modesty.”
“Mmm. I’m not squeamish about it or anything, but it seems like something that’s between you two. I don’t want to intrude.”
“Can I please have that beer? I know I sound like someone who should be heading for rehab, but I’ve had the shittiest month I can recall, including when my long-term lover dumped me. I’m desperate for a treat. Especially one that will numb my mind a little.”
Casey handed it over and Avery took her first sip. “Are you sure I’m not hurting the baby?” she asked, putting her enjoyment on hold until she vanquished her guilt.
“I’m positive. Alcohol leaves breastmilk at the same rate it leaves your bloodstream. If you stay sober, your milk will be fine.”
“Then why did you say I’d get lethal stares?”
Casey laughed. “Haven’t you noticed that people like to have really strong opinions without knowing the facts? There’s no safe amount of alcohol for pregnant women, so people assume it’s the same for nursing women, even though it’s not.”
“I’m convinced. Ahh, this is truly delicious,” she said, closing her eyes as the caramel notes rolled around on her tongue. “Did you make it?”
“I make it all,” Casey said, grinning.
“Really? I recall your saying you didn’t make the sour beer I had the first time we came here.”
“Oh, right. I was the assistant brewmaster when we made that. But that’s the only beer we’ve aged that long. Most of these are fresh, so they were all made by me.” She tapped Avery’s leg. “Tell me about this terrible month.”
She took a big sip of her beer, trying to focus on the pleasure of a well-made ale before she had to think about the past weeks. The vacation was all too short, and she tried to put the events in context. “What part do you want to hear? You’ve got three choices.” She held up her index, middle and ring fingers sequentially. “My boss telling me to shape up or ship out, my roommate dumping me, or the fact that I’m probably going to have to move back into my parents’ house to die a bitter old woman who no one can stand to be around.”
“Mmm.” Casey’s mouth quirked up in a cute grin. “I’m going to guess that number three came about because of number two, so start there.”
“Good call.” She took another sip, then listened for Lisbet’s usual “My hunger isn’t going to kill me now” sounds. She was still snarfing away, so Avery had a minute before she had to burp her. “Lisbet’s an amazingly calm baby. Honestly, if I’d had to design my first child, this little one is exactly what I would have envisioned.” She tenderly patted the baby’s back, fully realizing how lucky she’d been.
“No argument. I’ve been around more than my share, and she’s the best I’ve seen.”
“Right. But she’s a human being, and she only has one way to let me know she’s unhappy.”
“I’m going to guess again and say that she has to cry.”
“Right you are,” Avery said, poking her in the shoulder. “Lisbet unexpectedly had a tooth begin to erupt in the middle of the night. My roommate, who was the soul of patience, hates to be woken up. She got up in a huff and made me pay for an Uber so she could go sleep on a friend’s sofa. Freya apologized that afternoon, but she added that she was beating a hasty retreat.”
“Because of one night?”
“No. She’s been bothered since the beginning, but she’s been thinking we were almost through with the worst of it. She called her sister, who’s a pediatrician, and she told her teething might be rough, too.”
“Ahh. So she’s been angry, but hasn’t said anything.”
“Correct. She came back the next day and picked up her summer clothes, so she’s clearly serious.”
“What are you going to do? Can you afford the apartment alone?”
“No way. I’ve spent the last two weeks responding to inquiries to the Craigslist ad I put in.” After taking another sip, she closed her eyes, relishing the taste once more.
“Um…no luck?”
“You’d be surprised at how few people want to share an overpriced apartment with an infant. The best offer I got was $750, plus the woman wanted the bedroom.”
“Is that…bad?”
“Freya pays $1750, so I’d have to chip in an extra thousand, which I don’t have. Plus, Lisbet and I would b
e sleeping in the open dining room. Does that sound good to you?”
“I’m beginning to see why you’re considering living in your old bedroom,” Casey said, looking very sober. “But how could you do your job up here?”
Trying to compose herself, Avery removed Lisbet from her breast, and shifted so she could cover herself without making Casey uncomfortable. Then she put an already drowsy baby to her shoulder and patted her firmly. Lisbet was usually a very good burper, and she let out a big one, strong enough to make Casey laugh. “That ought to do it,” Avery said.
“Maybe she’s got more hiding in that little body.” Casey was awful at hiding her desires, so Avery turned the baby around and offered her up. “Give it a try.”
“Really?” Her eyes lit up at the prospect, which was kind of hilarious.
“Sure. Let me put this thin blanket on your shoulder in case she spits up.”
“I don’t care,” she said, reaching for her. As soon as she cradled her in her arms, Avery was able to see Lisbet from another angle. She looked so small when Casey held her, even though she’d matured so remarkably in her six months on earth. She was still a newly-hatched human who was so utterly dependent it was often absolutely terrifying.
Lisbet straightened up her back and turned her head a little. “I think she’s trying to figure out who you are,” Avery said. “I assume she knows she’s been with you before, but it’s really hard to know what she thinks, you know?”
Casey supported the baby’s head in her hand and leaned her back so Lisbet could see her face. “I’m your friend, Casey,” she said, speaking slowly and softly. “You’re going to have lots and lots of friends, ’cause you’re awesome, but I think I’m your first non-related friend. Kind of neat, huh?”
Avery didn’t have the heart to tell her that Lisbet spent two days a week with five other infants who she probably considered part of her pack. But Casey was giving Lisbet such a tender look that she couldn’t help but put her hand on her arm and grip it gently. “She’ll be lucky to have friends like you.”
Casey met Avery’s eyes for a moment, looking like she was going to say something, then she turned away and focused on the baby again. “Do you want to see if you can burp a little more? I bet you can.” She put her to her shoulder again and patted her firmly. Her hands were large, capable-looking, with long, tapered fingers. They were the kind of hands you’d trust with both your baby and your engine. Gentle, yet sure and strong.
Friday Night Flights Page 9