“Now she’s a sweetheart? You told me two weeks ago that you couldn’t trust her. What’s changed?”
“She seems…nice,” she said, feeling an ache in her chest like something had grabbed her heart and squeezed.
“Okay. Who sits in a bar and takes a picture of a big woman shaking her ass to the music? I bet the photo’s on the internet right now.”
“Oh, fuck,” Casey murmured. She made her hands into fists and stacked them one atop the other, then set her chin onto them. “That poor little baby. Her mom’s an asshole.”
Chapter Six
It took a couple of weeks to work everything out, but Avery finally convinced Helena that she could contribute like she used to if she was allowed to work from home full-time. On a Wednesday afternoon in late August, after the last all-hands meeting she’d attend in person, Avery loaded up everything she could cram into a rolling suitcase while Freya laboriously carried her own stuff back into the apartment.
Avery was determined to handle the simple move on her own, even though her father had offered to come get her. She knew how much he despised driving in New York City, so she’d decided to put off bringing the bulk of her heavy things until they could come early on a weekend morning. For now, she’d move like her ancestors who’d come in through Ellis Island had—with what she could carry on her back.
Freya kindly carried her suitcase down the three flights of stairs, and as Avery hitched her backpack up a little higher, no doubt looking like she was running away from home, Freya placed a restraining hand on her arm.
“Wait just one minute,” she said, then took a look at her phone. “Make that two minutes.”
“Why—?”
“I still feel bad about the night I made you pay for a car service for me. I can’t stand the thought of you trying to get up to the Smith Street platform with all of this stuff, so I’m paying for your trip to Penn Station.”
“Oh, Freya, you don’t have to do that,” she said, delighted by the offer. “I could pay for a car service if I thought I needed one.”
“It’s settled,” she said, stepping into the street and waving when a mid-size black sedan slowed down and stopped. Freya signaled the driver to get out to help with the luggage, and he did so, albeit reluctantly.
Freya opened the back door, quickly removed the backpack, then took Avery’s hand. “I’ll lower you in.”
Avery smiled up at her and took both hands to support herself as she kind of fell into the backseat. Getting into a low-slung car with a baby strapped to your chest wasn’t a snap!
After handing over the backpack, Freya leaned into the car and kissed Lisbet’s head. “I’m going to miss both of you. I’m serious about that.”
“I’ll miss you, too, but I’ll be back in two weeks for Short Shorts. Maybe we can meet for a meal beforehand.”
“That will never happen,” Freya said, always the pragmatist. “Short Shorts days are too busy. But I’ll be there to help.”
“Thank you.” She smiled up at her. “Without you, I wouldn’t have Lisbet. I’m forever in your debt.”
“That’s…only partially true. But I’d love to stay in your lives. When she’s ready to start her Danish lessons…”
“I hope we’re back in Brooklyn by then. Maybe we can live together once she’s a better roommate.”
“You’re a very good one,” Freya said, her pale blue eyes sober. “I wish I hadn’t been so childish about the whole thing, but I am who I am.”
“You’re just fine. Truly.”
“I will see you,” she said, closing the door firmly.
Avery hadn’t been in an Uber since she’d had the baby, and as the car smoothly accelerated toward Court Street, she realized that had been a wise choice. Having a car to yourself was a luxury she could not afford to get used to.
***
Avery woke with golden rays of sunlight caressing her face. She luxuriated in the sensation for a moment, then sat bolt upright. Eight a.m! Sliding off the bed to kneel next to Lisbet, she leaned in close to listen to her breathe. What in the hell? She’d gone to sleep at midnight, and if she’d woken up to feed the baby, she’d done so completely unconsciously.
Her breasts were filled with milk, almost rock-hard, so she must not have sleep-walked through a feeding. But Lisbet simply couldn’t have slept for eight hours without being fed. She simply couldn’t.
There were quiet stirrings coming from the kitchen, so she tugged on two dark T-shirts to avoid the inevitable leaks from showing, and went to investigate.
Her father was pouring himself a bowl of granola, but the coffee machine was empty. “What’s going on?” she asked. “This doesn’t look like your usual breakfast.”
“It’s not. But your mom got up twice to feed the baby, and I’m not a big enough jerk to wake her and ask for eggs.” He smiled and shrugged. “It was a close call, but I decided to act like an adult.”
She flipped on the switch for the coffee maker. “Ahh. That explains it. God knows I’m thankful to get some sleep, but my breasts are about to explode.”
He’d been looking at her, but the moment she said that he focused carefully on his cereal. So squeamish!
Avery walked past him to reach the proper cabinet. “I find it hard to believe you don’t know how to use the coffeemaker, but it’s not too late to learn.”
He shrugged again, looking less sheepish than he should have. “Your mom always does it. I’m sure I could figure it out,” he insisted. “Loading the coffee machine has to be easier than repairing a washing machine.”
“Face it, Dad. You’re an ace appliance repair technician who can’t put ground coffee into a basket.” She performed the simple steps, then said, “Voila! Your coffee will be ready in fewer than five minutes.”
“Thanks, honey,” he said, bending slightly to wrap her in a hug. He used to be a little rougher with her, keeping up the playful way they’d interacted when she was a kid, but since she’d gotten pregnant he treated her like she was a raw egg. “I’m awfully glad to have you home.”
“Aww, thanks, Dad. I haven’t adjusted to the idea yet, but I’m very, very thankful that you’ve opened your home to us.”
“It’s your home, too,” he said, scowling. “It always will be.”
“It’s your home,” she said, returning to a long-standing disagreement. “I’m just…vacationing here until I can figure out a long-term solution.”
“So headstrong,” he grumbled. “Just like your mother.”
“And my daughter,” she said, hearing Lisbet stir. “You’re surrounded by strong-willed women, but at least two thirds of us can make coffee.”
***
Lisbet sat in the used, cut-rate infant seat Avery had bought on E-Bay, which now rested in the center of the kitchen table. Her onesie was clean, what little hair she had was lying down, and her dark blue eyes were alert as her grandmother played with her bare feet, teasing her, while Lisbet tried to figure out the game.
“Toast?” Avery asked.
“Love some. I have apple butter in the fridge. Will you get it out?”
“Happy to.” She placed the spread on the table, bending to kiss her mother’s cheek when she did. “I feel like a new woman. Eight hours of sleep felt like twelve.”
“Well, I knew you’d argue, so I didn’t tell you my plans. But when I saw those bottles of breast milk in the fridge, I made up my mind. We’re going to do that for a week or two, so don’t even think of complaining.”
“Complain?” She laughed as she went to the toaster when the bread popped up. “I’d build a shrine to you if we were… Who does that? Catholics?”
“Probably. They’re a little showy.”
“Right. Well, I’m only going to argue if it’s too hard for you. I know you’re not used to getting up once or twice a night.”
“I can manage. I’ll take a nap in the afternoon.”
“Super.” Avery sat down and joined in the game, confusing the heck out of Lisbet, who wasn’t sure
who was playing with her feet, or why for that matter.
“So…” her mom said, stirring a little extra sugar into her coffee. “You’re going to need a lot of things, but I know you’ll fight buying duplicates.”
“We can improvise until we go to Brooklyn to pick everything up. Lisbet has been sleeping in her Moses basket every time we come up. She doesn’t seem to mind lying on the floor.”
“You brought almost nothing with you!”
“I have a pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, underwear, and sandals for myself. Since I have two dresser-drawers full of old T-shirts, I’m set. And I brought everything that Lisbet has that’s roomy, which isn’t much since she’s in the middle of a growth spurt. Speaking of which, I have to find her a new pediatrician.”
“Really?” Her mom stared at her like she’d said something truly outrageous. “After how hard you worked to find the one you chose?”
Avery laughed. “Back then I was laboring under the delusion that every single choice I made was the difference between a perfect baby and one who’d be scarred forever.” She gripped Lisbet’s little foot and gave it a tug. “I’ve gotten slightly more realistic.”
***
Avery sat under an umbrella on the back deck, nursing Lisbet, who seemed to like dining al fresco. The baby was fully clothed, of course, and wore a floppy hat. Avery hadn’t been teasing earlier when she’d said she’d gotten more relaxed about Lisbet. But one area she wasn’t going to ever be chill about was sunburn. Lisbet’s skin was so fair she was afraid she’d burn from an incandescent light. While there were many, many dangerous things Avery couldn’t protect her from, she’d vowed that she’d focus on the things she could control.
Her mom came out, bearing adult food.
“Now this is the way every woman should be able to parent,” Avery said. “Massive help with nighttime feedings, food delivery, and plenty of emotional support. I was crazy to think I could make it on my own in Brooklyn. Just one day and I’ve gotten more done than I’d managed there in three.”
“Once Lisbet’s in kindergarten, you can think about finding your own place. Until then, we’ll be a team.”
“Kindergarten?” Avery stared at her. “I’m going to start looking for an apartment in Hudson this week, Mom. I need my own place.”
“Avery,” she said, scowling. “Don’t be so hard-headed. You were a wreck in Brooklyn. Why would changing nothing but a zip code make any difference?”
“I’ll be changing a heck of a lot more than a zip code. If your offer still holds, I thought I’d bring Lisbet over here after I feed her in the morning, then pick her up at the end of my work day.”
“But you still wouldn’t be sleeping through the night, honey. You just told me how much better you feel.”
“I do. I truly do. But I can’t impose on you like that. Being able to work from home is huge. I bet only ten percent of women have that option, yet the other ninety percent are doing fine. They’re tired, but they’re fine. We just need to work out a schedule.”
“Well, I would argue more, but you’re not going to find a nice apartment around here. Not one you can afford, that is. So go ahead and look. Until you find your cozy new home, I’m feeding my granddaughter during the night.” She picked up half of a tuna sandwich and held it up to Avery’s mouth. “I can’t understand why you think you wouldn’t be independent if you lived here. Take a big bite…”
***
Avery had notified Casey of her success in getting permission to work from home, and she’d texted her the day she’d move back to Hudson. But they hadn’t communicated since. That’s why it surprised her to receive a text from her on Thursday afternoon, saying she had four hours free, and wanted to see if Lisbet could come out to play.
Avery stared at the text for a long time, mired in indecision. While she wanted to pay Casey back for all of her kindnesses, letting her just take the baby, even for an hour, filled her with dread. Admittedly, there wasn’t a big difference between sleeping in Casey’s bed while Lisbet floated around in her pool, and letting her have unsupervised access, trusting Lisbet with her for hours seemed like a leap she wasn’t ready for. She wasn’t even comfortable letting her dad be entirely in charge, and he was genetically related.
She’d been working in the living room, nearly at the mental capacity she’d been able to rely on for her entire working career. It had felt so good to look at a piece of fiction and be able to spot its strengths and weaknesses with just one thorough read-through that she was nearly clicking her heels when she went outside to find her mom weeding the garden, with Lisbet safely protected by an umbrella attached to her infant chair.
“Mmm. I can’t wait for those eggplant to be ready,” Avery said. “A friend of mine slices them thick, scores them, then puts olive oil and salt and pepper on them. A little time on the barbecue and they’re fantastic.”
“You know people with a barbecue?”
“Of course not. But they have grills in the park.”
“Permanent ones? With grates?”
“Uh-huh.” She sat down next to the baby, pleased to find her alert and content. “You have to get on your knees to use them, since they’re so low to the ground, but they work.”
“Low enough so every dog that goes by can lick them or pee on them?”
“Well, now, you’ve taken something beautiful and ruined it forever. Happy?” Avery grasped Lisbet’s foot and tickled it until she looked up at her and smiled. “Your grandmother can’t look at the bright side of life, Sweet Pea.”
“Your grandmother doesn’t like barbecued dog pee,” she said, visibly shivering. “Are you taking your afternoon coffee break? You’ve been at it since lunch.”
“Have to keep my nose to the grindstone. We’re behind because of my dragging my feet on some things. If I’m going to make Helena see what a good idea my working from home is, the only way to do that is to edit my butt off.”
“How did your phone call go? Lisbet could hear your voice when you were talking. She kept staring down the hallway, like she knew you were there, but I could tell she was confused.”
“It went fine, thanks.” She tapped on the baby’s chubby leg and added, “I’d think Lisbet’s confused every minute of the day. Imagine having everything that happens be a new experience.” She looked up at her mom. “Question. Would you trust Casey to take her for a few hours?”
Her mom looked up sharply. “Take her where, honey?”
“I don’t know. She just texted to say she had four hours free and wanted a playdate.”
“A playdate? Is that the word she used?”
“Um, I think so…” She took out her phone and looked at the message. “She asked if Lisbet could come out and play.”
Her mom reached over and grasped the phone, taking a long look. “Well, I’ve been thinking she might secretly be interested in you, but if she is, she’s working a very long con.”
“You’ve got to read fewer detective novels,” Avery said, taking her phone back. “I’m a little worried about letting Lisbet out of my control. Am I being silly?”
“Hmm.” She turned and sat on her haunches, concentrating on the tiny weeds that had the nerve to poke their heads above the soil. “Is she a good driver?”
“Excellent. Beyond careful.”
“We know she doesn’t drink much…”
“Right. And if she does drugs, she’s very, very good at hiding it.”
“Good point. If she abuses drugs, she’s a pro.”
“Very reassuring.”
“I know plenty of her family members, so we’d have leads to go on if she took off…”
“I already worked through the international kidnapping scenario. Lisbet doesn’t have her passport yet, so it’d be tough to get her across the border.”
“Mmm.” She stood and brushed off the knees of her khaki green gardening pants. “Here’s the truth, honey. Some bad things will happen to Lisbet, no matter how careful you are. Some of those bad things will happen whe
n she’s with someone else. But you’ve got to let go at some point, so it might be good to start now.”
“What bad things happened to me?”
“Oh, god,” she said, lifting her gaze to the sky as she thought. “I’ve got several, but the worst was when your dad left you in the car when he took you shopping. Luckily for all of us, it was early winter.” She laughed briefly. “I can’t begin to tell you how shook he was. Even though he knew I’d never trust him again, he had to tell me he’d done it just to let go of some of his guilt.”
“He could have killed me!”
“Um, that’s the point of the story, honey. It’s easy to do something horribly wrong because you’re tired or stressed. Casey’s neither of those things, so she’s probably a safer bet than you are right now.”
“Oh, I forgot! I read this tip the other day, and I’m going to implement it as soon as I find a huge stuffed animal.”
“Pardon?”
“It’s genius,” Avery said. “You buy a massive toy and put it in the passenger seat when you’ve got your baby in the back. Then, when you take the baby out, you put the stuffed animal in the back seat. So every time you get out of your car and see the giraffe or the panda or whatever in the front, you know your baby’s in the back.”
Her mom removed her gardening gloves, then headed for the back door. “I’ll be back before Casey gets here. Don’t let her take that baby unless she’s accompanied by a huge, dirty stuffed animal.”
“Dirty?”
“I’m not buying new, honey. I’m sure whatever I can find at the thrift shop will be a filthy mess, but no one’s going to forget about my precious granddaughter—including me!”
***
An hour later, Avery and her mom stood in the driveway, waving goodbye to one brewmaster, one baby, and a giant, dirty, one-eyed teddy bear.
“I wasn’t in the room when Casey said where they were going. Did she give you an itinerary?”
Avery smiled at her. “We have the same kind of phone. I got her permission to track her.”
Friday Night Flights Page 11