by Mia Harlan
“Over here,” I whisper-shout. I have no idea how she found me. I guess it doesn’t really matter.
I stare vacantly at the table. Dozens of spellbooks are spread out in front of me. Hard, leather spines. Old, yellowed pages. Generations of magic gathered and recorded in precious volumes. All useless. Absolutely, completely useless.
“Are you alright?” Mini grabs the chair next to mine and turns to face me. “What happened?”
“Of course I’m not alright,” I snap, even though none of this is Mini’s fault. “Where do I even begin?”
“How about the part where you crashed tonight’s coven meeting and demanded they break a mating bond?” Mini suggests.
“You heard about that?” I run a hand through my hair. “I thought you weren’t in the local coven?”
“I’m not. But a few girls from the academy are. They texted me as soon as it happened.”
“It hasn’t even been an hour.” Probably less.
After Amber locked herself in her room, I’d gone straight to the library, but the spellbook I’d used to cast the spark didn’t have a reversal spell. So, of course, I’d panicked. Rushed straight into that coven meeting, begging them to undo my spell on Amber.
“Does the whole fucking town know?” And how long before Amber finds out?
I grimace as my question echoes loudly through the empty room.
Great. Now I’ve added shouting in the library to my list of crimes. I’m just lucky the supe section’s empty right now, and the wards prevent sounds from traveling to the human parts of the building.
“They were worried about you, Julian.” Mini places a gentle hand on my arm. “They only texted me so I could make sure you were okay.”
“Well, I’m not okay. It was supposed to be a spark, Mini. A moment of attraction. I would never try to cast a mating spell!”
“I know you wouldn’t.” Mini pats my arm the same way one of my sisters would. “Not that you could. Mating bonds aren’t witch magic. They’re shifter magic.”
“That’s what the coven said. But explain that to Amber! Or Wes. Or Chase.”
“She’s actually bonded to two shifters? I mean, that’s what I heard, and I saw two guys over at the cafe, but...”
“Well, it’s true. And she’s not just bonded to them, she’s also bonded to me.”
“What do you mean she’s bonded to you?” Mini gasps.
Which just serves as a reminder of the terrible person that I am. Because I did this. I cast a spell on my best friend. On the only girl I’ve ever loved. And I did the one thing I swore I’d never do. I hurt her.
I’ll never forget the day she first pulled up at the academy. She climbed out of the passenger seat of that black sports car, a cup with a coffee bean logo in her hand. She’d looked cute. Adorable. Perfect. And even back then, I wanted her to be mine. My Coffee Bean.
Her cheeks were flushed pink, her blonde braid coming apart, random strands of hair sticking out every which way. Her school socks slid well below her knees in a way I found endearing. Her shoelaces were untied and her uniform shirt untucked, just like mine always were. I watched her open the car trunk and tug on something heavy. I was about to rush over to help, but a woman stepped out of the car and suddenly shifted into a large, muscular man. She easily hefted Bean’s suitcases, like they weighed nothing, and I swear it was the most awesome thing I’d ever seen. I’d wished my own mother was more like Bean’s, and I was sure she was the luckiest girl in the world. Until her mother started shouting, “If you could use your powers properly, then maybe I wouldn’t have to do everything for you!”
Her words felt like a punch to the gut. Poor Bean forgot all about her coffee cup. She left it up there on top of that car and tried to hold back tears as she raced after her mother. And in that moment, I swore that I would never make her cry. That I’d always protect her.
Six years, I was there for her. Through everything. And in one moment, I managed to ruin it all. Six years of friendship. Six years of waiting for her to love me back. All gone.
“I have to go.” I jump to my feet. I have to find Amber.
“Wait!” Mini jumps up too and grabs a handful of my shirt. “What do you mean Amber’s bonded to you? How is that even possible?”
“I don’t know. All I did was try to cast a stupid spark.” I unlock my phone and practically shove it in Mini’s face. “That’s the spell I recited. It was supposed to cause a moment of attraction. That’s all. But now those shifters are her mates. And I am, too.”
“But how?” Mini stares at the spell.
“I don’t know. I was upset. I must have done something wrong.” I grab my phone and shove it in my pocket. “I have to get back. I have to tell Amber it can’t be undone.”
“Of course it can be undone,” Mini cries. “Just reverse it!”
“Don’t you think I would have if I could? Look at all these books, Min!” I gesture at the table. “I’ve gone through all of them. I asked the coven. Even you said it: a mating spell can’t be broken by witch magic.”
I thought there was a workaround. I begged the witches in the coven to find one. But they all said the same thing. That even the most powerful spellcaster in the world couldn’t break a mating spell.
“Wait! It’s not witch magic,” Mini cries triumphantly. “But you’re a witch, and you cast it! Which means you should be able to reverse it, too.”
“Even if I could, I don’t know how. No one does. I’ve double and triple checked, but all these spellbooks say the same thing the coven did. That it can’t be undone.”
“There has to be something!”
“There isn’t! Look, Mini, I need to get back to the cafe...” I need to tell Amber, before the witches who texted Mini decide to text Bean, too. I need to be there for her. After what I’ve done, it’s the least I can do.
“Go. I’ll keep looking,” Mini says resolutely. “It’ll all work out, Julian. I promise.”
I know she’s wrong, but I give her a quick hug anyway. “You’re a good friend, Min.”
And with that, I break into a run. Yet another library misdemeanor to add to my long list.
I jog across the supe section, race through the main building, past the outraged librarian, and burst through the front door. I leave Spell Library behind, illuminating the dark street along with the evenly spaced streetlights.
I count them as I run. A stupid game Bean and I used to play on vacation away from the academy.
I reach twenty-three when Jewels Cafe comes into view, glowing like a beacon. I get closer, my heart pounding in my chest with a mix of fear and anticipation, but the sight that greets me makes me stop short.
It’s not customers. Apparently even without the pebble, we still don’t have any.
But Chase is there, leaning casually against the counter. He has a Mood Tea in his hand that’s a bright and happy pink, and he smiles as he takes a sip. Wes is seated on a bar stool across from him, an Angel Coffee cloud slowly melting in front of him. But it’s not the presence of the two shifters that shocks me, it’s the fact that Bean is smiling at them.
Why isn’t she upset? Why isn’t she sobbing her eyes out?
It’s almost like this whole afternoon never happened. Like I never cast that spell or ruined her life.
I watch Bean, and she laughs at something the guys say. That laugh isn’t fake. But how is she okay? Does this mean she’s not mad at me anymore?
Before I can think it through, I throw the cafe door open and step inside.
The door chimes loudly above my head, alerting Bean to my presence, and she looks up with a welcoming smile. A smile that dies a quick death when she sees me.
It’s like a stab to the chest.
The way she grows pale at the sight of me.
The way she looks horrified.
The way she clearly doesn’t want me here.
What made me think she’d ever forgive what I’ve done to her? Or that she would ever love me as more than a friend?
Chapter 13
AMBER
My eyes lock on Julian, waiting for him to tell me he’s here to break the spell. Waiting for him to tear me away from Chase and Wes.
I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m going to throw up.
And then Julian suddenly turns away from me.
Before I really understand what’s happening, he’s racing across the cafe, and then his footsteps are pounding up the stairs to our apartment. To get his spellbook? An ingredient?
Then, all is silent. There’s no one in the cafe but Chase, Wes, and me. We haven’t had any customers in over an hour, and the guys are as frozen as I am.
What do we say at a time like this? When any minute now, Julian will be back to end our short-lived relationship the same way it began. With magic.
“Is this it?” Wes finally asks.
“Even if it is, we’ll make this work,” Chase argues.
He sounds so sure, but I can’t help the worries racing through my head. “What if—”
“No what ifs, sweetheart.” Chase walks over and wraps his arms around me.
“Chase is right, little bear. We’ll find a way to stay together.” Wes reaches across the bar and takes my hand in his. “Spell or no spell.”
But I can’t stop thinking about how he left. Will he walk away once the bond is broken?
A crash rings from upstairs, and Julian’s footsteps thunder down the steps. Wes’s grip on my hand tightens, and Chase pulls me closer.
Then Julian’s here, storming across the cafe, a suitcase in hand. He heads straight for the front door, and I barely have time to react when Chase is suddenly letting go of me.
The bunny shifter races around the bar and intercepts Julian at the front door. “What’s in the suitcase, man?”
“Clothes,” Julian snaps.
I tense and tighten my grip on Wes’s hand. He squeezes back and then lets go.
“You’re not leaving,” the bear shifter says, grabbing Julian roughly by the shoulder.
“Really, Bear? Remember what happened last time you did that?”
“I’m hoping you learned your lesson.” Wes scowls at him.
“But better safe than sorry,” Chase adds, sidestepping away from the door.
It’s a good call, because Julian’s eyes are narrowed, and I can tell there’s a spell brewing on his lips. A spell that’s more than likely to break something.
“Juli?” I ask, not quite able to keep the hurt out of my voice. “Why do you have a suitcase?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Chase asks. “The coward’s trying to skip town.”
“Who are you calling a coward?” Julian drops the suitcase and launches himself at Chase. The bunny shifter stumbles, and Julian takes a swing at him.
“Juli, don’t!” I cry. Instinctively, I shift into Wes and lunge for him.
Chase blocks his fist and when I grab his arm and try to pull him away, Julian rounds on me. He looks ready to strike, but then he takes one look at me and, even though I look like Wes, he somehow knows it’s me.
“Bean,” he says softly, and all the fight seems to seep out of him. It seeps out of me, too.
I shift back to my own body, and when our eyes meet, it hits me all over again. How much I love him. How much I’ve always loved him.
“This is for the best, Bean.” He gently caresses my cheek.
“For you, maybe,” Wes growls from behind me.
“For Amber. I’m doing this for you, Bean.” Julian picks up his suitcase. “You’re better off without me.”
“That’s not your choice to make, Alistair Wade,” Wes snaps.
“You cast this spell,” Chase adds. “Once it’s broken, you need to stay and deal with the consequences.”
Julian opens his mouth to argue, but Wes doesn’t let him. He moves to stand in front of the door, and Chase moves next to him, presenting a united front.
“Amber barely knows Wes and me,” Chase says softly. And even though it’s true, hearing him say it still hurts. Then he looks at me, and his voice turns gentle. “I’m hoping that will change... in time.”
“Me, too,” I whisper softly.
“But until then,” Chase turns back to Julian, “you can’t just abandon Amber to deal with this alone.”
“There’s nothing to deal with!” Julian snaps.
“How can you say that, Juli?” I walk up to him and barely restrain the urge to physically touch him. Like that will somehow keep him from leaving. “You cast a spell on me, and now you’re going to break it and just walk away?”
“I’m not going to break it, Bean!”
“You’re not even going to be here when it’s broken?” I can no longer keep the hurt back.
“Amber, I tried! I swear I did.” Julian runs a panicked hand through his hair. “I went to the coven and checked every spellbook. But once a mating bond is forged, no witch and no spell in the world can break it.”
“What do you mean?” I ask as I try to wrap my mind around what he’s saying.
“I mean the spell can’t be broken, not by me or anyone else.”
“It can’t?” Wes demands, and I don’t miss the hope reflected there.
“Of course it can’t. You think you’d still be mates if I could somehow undo this?” Julian snaps.
His obvious hatred for Wes and Chase—and his desire to end what we share—hurts, but in the end, hope wins out. Because if he’s saying what I think he’s saying, maybe I can keep Chase and Wes... and one day, Julian, too. “So it’s permanent?” I whisper.
“I’m so, so sorry, Bean. I screwed up.” The love of my life gently pushes me aside and tries to slip between Chase and Wes. “Let me through!”
Chase steps to the side, but Wes crosses his arms in a perfect impersonation of the bouncer. Julian shoves him, but the bear doesn’t budge.
“I said, move!” Julian shouts, shoving Wes again. “Come on, take a swing, asshole.”
“I’m not going to fight you, Witch,” Wes says calmly, which only seems to enrage Julian more.
“Then get out of my way,” he shouts.
With a curt nod, Wes lets him through.
“Julian, wait,” I shout after him, and Wes immediately grabs him by the shirt collar and yanks him back into the cafe.
Except when Julian’s facing me, I don’t know what to say. Please don’t go. Don’t leave me. We can make this work.
It sounds so pathetic and so perfectly pointless. But I have to say something. We’re in this mess now because none of us could be honest. Because Julian cast a spell instead of telling Minerva he liked her. Because I should have told him how I felt and found a way to move on.
“Julian, there’s something I need to tell you,” I say softly.
He stops struggling with Wes and waits, watching me.
“Remember when I shifted the first time we met? The braces and the beard?”
“What braces and beard?” Chase asks.
“Not now.” Wes nudges him, and Chase goes quiet.
“Julian, I... I did that because I liked you. But...” I swallow hard. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”
“What are you saying, Bean?” Julian takes a step forward, and Wes releases his shirt, letting him. My pulse spikes the way it always does when I’m around my best friend, but I ignore it. I’ve had years of practice, and if this is what it takes to keep Julian, then I’ll just have to continue doing it.
“You don’t have to leave, Juli,” I say softly. “I get that the spell’s making you feel things for me. Things you don’t want to feel. And I’m sorry you couldn’t break it, but we don’t have to...” I swallow hard, because this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to say in my life. “We don’t have to be together just because we’re mates.”
Chapter 14
JULIAN
Her words hurt more than I e
ver thought words could.
It’s clear Amber doesn’t want to be with me, but then what did I expect? That she’d suddenly fall in love with me because of some stupid spell? Which apparently made her fall for Chase and Wes, but clearly not me?
Because I’ll always be her best friend Juli. Nothing more.
“I can’t stay, Bean. I’m sorry.” I shake my head, but when tears spring to her eyes, I almost give in. I’m hurting her by leaving. I know I am. But how do I stay and watch her be with two other guys? How do I stay when I love her and any hope of being with her is gone?
“Please, Juli?” Amber’s voice quivers, and I can’t take it. I step forward and wrap her in my arms. Her whisper is muffled against my chest, but her words are clear. “Please stay?”
“You can’t ask me to do that, Bean.” I tighten my arms around her. “You know I can never say no to you.”
“Then don’t. Stay! Be with Minerva if you have to, but—” Amber starts to cry, and my need to comfort her wars with my need to make sense of all this.
“Why the hell would I be with Minerva, Bean?” I breathe against her hair.
Amber starts to cry harder, and the shifters leave their post by the door. Wes walks up to Amber and starts rubbing her back in slow circles while Chase presses a soft kiss to the back of her head. The fact that they can do that so casually, like she’s already theirs, sends a wave of jealousy coursing through me.
“Just because you don’t love me,” I snap, “doesn’t mean you can pawn me off on another girl.”
“What do you mean I don’t love you?” Amber shoves me away from her. “I’ve always loved you, just like you’ve always loved Minerva. So go. Tell her how you feel. She obviously likes you back.”
“We’re just fucking friends!” I cry and instantly realize how that sounds. “No fucking involved. I swear. Hell, I’ve never even touched her. Or wanted to. She’s like a sister to me.”
“You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings, Juli.”
“You still don’t get it, do you?” I take a step forward. Chase and Wes do too, glaring at me, and we form a triangle around Bean.