“And what if I don’t want to be a leader?” I demanded.
“You already are. You’re just the last to see it.” I scowled. “Everyone’s already following you. You don’t notice because you’re too busy changing course.”
“I’m reacting to the circumstances.”
He went on like I hadn’t spoken. “A pack protects its leader. Why do you think you were sent to an invisible safe house?”
I didn’t answer. I refused to meet his eyes.
He threw up his hands and paced away from me. “Why do you think Steppe wants you in the first place? Same reason we all followed you into the woods after Olivia. And why Miles wanted you. And Leo before him.” I shuddered. “You’re a leader, Tara. You’ve always been a leader. You’ve never wanted to see it.”
Everything he said made sense, so much that I couldn’t bring myself to argue. But I couldn’t stand here either. My mind buzzed, full for the first time in days. But a different kind of full. This noise was all my own making and no amount of music would shut it out.
My wolf strained against my temper, caged. It wanted out.
“I need some air,” I said, whirling and heading for the door. I expected Wes to stop me or snap back with some retort but I heard nothing from behind me. I stomped the few steps to the back door, grabbed the knob, and twisted. It swung heavily on its hinges and slammed the wall, knocking a piece of framed artwork to the floor with a thud. I ignored it and kicked my foot out across the threshold—and stumbled back.
“What the …?” I rubbed my nose and stared through the open doorway. I could clearly see the porch on the other side with the few steps leading down to the grass. Beyond that, the forest encroached and led away into the shaded unknown.
“What is it?” Wes asked, a strange note in his voice.
I lifted my hand, palm out, and pressed against what looked like open air separating me from the outside. My fingertips hit something hard and smooth. I ran my hand down the length of the doorway.
“We’re trapped,” I said.
“What are you talking about?”
I gestured to whatever invisible force field blocked my way.
Wes came around me and took a tentative step forward. He held his hands up, palms out, like I’d done. He pressed lightly at first and then pulled back and hit hard enough there was an audible smack.
He stared through the doorway, entirely too calm. “I’ll be damned. We’re definitely trapped.”
I glared at him. “You don’t have to sound so happy about it.”
“What’s up?” George appeared with two empty bowls in hand.
“There’s some sort of barrier blocking the doorway. We can’t get out,” Wes told him.
“A barrier?” George set the dishes aside and came over. At Wes’s nod, he extended a hand. It stopped short halfway across the threshold. “What is it?”
“Not sure,” Wes said.
“We were outside yesterday,” I said. For Janie. George’s eyes flickered to me.
“Wonder what changed,” George said. “Is the front door the same way?”
I hurried to the front door and threw it open. Sunshine streamed in, warming my bare arms. I extended a hand until my fingertips bumped an invisible force.
“Ugh! It’s the same,” I called.
“I guess we’re stuck,” George said as both boys came up behind me.
I glared at them. Neither one seemed the least bit bothered. In fact, I could taste George’s relief mixing with my disappointment. I swallowed back a curse.
“Told you not to do it this way,” George muttered.
“Shut up,” Wes said.
My eyed narrowed. “Do what this way?”
Neither one answered. George shot Wes a look.
“Wes?” I prompted.
“Edie may have sealed the house,” he said.
“How?”
“The earthquake … wasn’t an earthquake.”
I stared at him while that sunk in. The earthquake—it hadn’t been the ground shaking. It’d been the house itself. Settling. Sealing. I shook my head. “But we were outside yesterday. For Janie.”
He looked at George. “Extenuating circumstances.”
“You know how to get out,” I said.
He shook his head. “Not anymore. I called Edie after what happened with Janie and she gave me the bypass phrase, but she said it would change after we used it. I don’t know it anymore.”
“Try it anyway,” I said.
He walked forward and laid his hand against the invisible barrier that blocked the doorway. “Exitus,” he muttered.
Nothing happened.
He stepped back. “I told you. She said she it’s set up to change every day and after every use.”
My arms shook with the effort to remain human. My wolf wanted a piece of whatever had caused my temper. “This is why Grandma sent us here,” I yelled. “Not because I’m a leader. They wanted to sideline us. And you helped her do it.”
“I didn’t help her.”
“Maybe not, but you knew about it.”
“Because I knew you’d react this way.”
“How else should I react? We’re trapped.”
“I think—” Wes began.
“I’m going to my room.” I didn’t want to hear what he thought. I was having a hard enough time knowing what George thought. I was trapped, no matter the reason.
The boys let me go without another word.
Upstairs, I flopped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. Guilt pricked at me. I did my best to shove it aside. I wanted to hang on to my mad a little longer.
At some point, I’d apologize. Not yet. Right now, I wanted to seethe a little. I knew when I stopped being mad, I’d have to accept the fact that I was trapped and that Wes had known that.
Without my anger, I’d have to think about Janie. And the pack. And my possible bond with Alex. And the looming void. Again.
Being angry shoved all that to the side. It made my thoughts clearer. If I was going to be trapped here, I had to find a way to make it useful. To be ready to take action when I found a way out. And not go crazy in the meantime. If that took embracing my temper, so be it.
***
“Tara? You awake?”
I opened my eyes and blinked until I remembered where I was and why Wes looked so nervous to be hovering over me, bringing me back to consciousness.
“Hey,” I said, giving him a small smile.
He visibly relaxed and lowered himself to the edge of the bed.
Somewhere between my temper waning and promising I’d find a way out of the invisible barricade, I’d fallen asleep.
“How long was I asleep?” I asked, rubbing my eyes and propping myself on my elbows.
“You missed lunch. You okay?”
I took stock of my mental and emotional status. Emma was fed and fine. Still on two legs and sticking close to George. She was excited at having his attention. It did wonders to battle the grief she felt over Janie.
I started to sit up and paused. If I wasn’t mistaken, George was equally as thrilled at being with her.
Interesting. How had I missed this?
“Tara?” Wes prompted when I didn’t answer.
“Oh. I’m much better.” I rested my hand on his cheek and ran it slowly down his jaw, enjoying the rough stubble that’d grown in over the last few days. I rubbed at it as I looked into his eyes. “I’m sorry for earlier. I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”
He took my free hand in both of his. “I’m sorry too. Edie asked me not to say anything. I should’ve told you, but I knew how upset you’d be. She’s only trying to keep you safe.”
“If I had a dollar for every time someone went behind my back to make me safe, I’d be rich.”
“Come on, Tara. If we’re being fair, you run off and do your own thing just as often.”
I opened my mouth to argue but he cut me off. “It’s what you were trying to do earlier. Storm out. Because I wouldn’t
agree to rush back into the fight without telling everyone else.”
I sighed.
“I know losing the pack has been hard on you. I don’t want to make it worse. I love you, Tara, and I want to be here for you. Even when you’re mad at me, I want to be here.”
“And what about when you’re mad at me?”
His lips curved. “Even then. Maybe in a different room, but I’m here.”
I smiled back, but it didn’t last. “We’re prisoners then.”
“We’re safe,” he corrected.
I arched a brow at him.
“Yeah, okay, it’s a little of both,” he amended.
“When is she planning on letting us out?” I asked. “When the fight’s over?”
“I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his messy hair. “She loves you. She’s trying to protect you.”
I shook my head. “It amazes me how similar you are to her. And my mother, for that matter. All three of you think that loving someone means chaining them up. All that does is handicap them, make them unprepared for when danger finally finds them.”
His lips pressed together. I knew he wouldn’t like being compared to my mother of all people, but it was the truth. “And it amazes us how easily you shove rational thought and caution to the wind and race directly into the fiery furnace. With little or no thought to the ones you love.”
“It’s for my loved ones that I race into the fire,” I said. “So they don’t have to.”
“But that’s what you don’t get. Where you go, I will always follow. Even into the fire. Especially then.”
“I …” I opened my mouth. Closed it again. Hadn’t George said the exact same thing? “You’re right,” I said finally. “I hate it but sometimes I need to sit still and think it through. Can you help me do that?”
“Help you sit still?”
“Yes.”
His smile was slow and mischievous. “I can definitely help with that.”
He leaned in and brushed his lips over mine in a soft kiss.
The anger in me had waned but the energy remained. I didn’t want soft. I wanted hot and hard. I slipped my hands around his shoulders to the back of his neck and pulled him closer. In response, his mouth began to move over mine, firmer, faster. His lips parted, his breath warm on my face.
I climbed closer, pressing against him. I needed heat, more contact. His hands cupped my hips, lifting me up and lowering me onto my back until he lay overtop of me.
My fingers moved through his hair and down his back, slipping underneath his shirt. His hands worked their way up the length of my ribs and back down, leaving a trail of warmth.
Emma’s eyes look so pretty against the waterfall.
The errant thought startled me and my lips went still.
Wes pulled back so that his mouth hovered over mine, his warm breath hitting my nose. He touched his forehead to mine. “I can’t say I enjoy fighting but if this is how we make up, I’m not complaining.”
I didn’t respond, still too caught up in what I’d heard. It was clear the thought hadn’t belonged to me. And it had the mental tone of George. But how had I heard the words so clearly? That’d never happened before. I wasn’t sure how it was happening now. I waited, but nothing more came through. At least, not words.
As usual, he was fully aware of what was going on with Wes and me. Instead of creeping him out, it made him think about how he wanted to try the same thing with Emma. Ew.
Wes was oblivious. “As much as I hate to ruin the moment,” he went on, “I came up here for a reason. I found something you should see.”
“What?”
He produced Vera’s journal from somewhere behind him and handed it to me. “Start where I left the bookmark.”
I sat up and opened to the marked page. It was dated three weeks ago. “This is recent,” I said.
“I know.”
There was a warning in his tone.
I’ve seen visions of them but until now, I hadn’t known it was them. They are vicious and ruthless and completely without loyalty or conscience. I thought it was the rogues at first; the darkness inside them is so strong. It’s not the rogues. It is her pack, but they are no longer hers. He thinks they are his but they are no one’s. He has no idea the loss of humanity that comes with severing the bond. He thinks he can control them and then get rid of them. He is wrong. They will turn and then nothing can stop them. They were made for her and only she can keep them.
I stopped there and looked up. “She’s talking about me and Steppe,” I said.
It wasn’t a question but he nodded anyway. “I think the bond is what gave them their humanity. It kept the darkness at bay. Without it …”
I shook my head, my thoughts sprinting off in twenty different directions at this possibility. “But what about Nick? He was bonded to me and still, the darkness overtook him.” And Janie, I wanted to add, but couldn’t make the words come.
Wes frowned. “I think the bond gives them a choice. They can choose to be more human, or they can choose to give in to the darkness. It’s the same way we all have a choice between right and wrong. The bond doesn’t take their free will, it gives them options. They still have to choose what to do with it.”
It made sense. “And now that the bond is gone? Do you think they still have a choice?”
“I don’t know. But if they do, he’s trying his best to make sure they choose darkness.”
The phone rang.
I jumped as Wes slid it free of his pocket and checked the screen. “DC number. Probably Edie,” he said. Then, “Hello?”
I resisted the urge to snatch it free and yell at Grandma for locking me up here. I was trying to remember it was for a greater good. That and I knew it wouldn’t make her let me out any sooner.
His expression darkened at whatever was being said. Lines appeared at the edges of his downturned mouth and his eyes became hooded in a way that always made him look dangerous.
“How did it happen?” he asked. He paused, listened. Then asked, “Did they let you leave?” At her answer, he laughed harshly. “I bet. Where are you headed now? …And Elizabeth?”
He agreed with whatever answer she’d given and they hung up with a final, “We’ll talk soon,” on his end.
“What was that about?” I asked as he pushed the button to end the connection.
“Steppe had Edie removed from the council last night.”
“What do you mean? Did he try to hurt her?”
“It was all political. There was a vote. Apparently it was done behind her back. She was voted out and served paperwork. They didn’t attempt to harm her.” His voice dipped and took on the dark humor I’d heard on the phone. “She said she would’ve liked to see them try to use force. She’d rather fight muscle than paperwork.”
“Yeah, that sounds like Grandma. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised but … can they do that? I thought council membership was for life. Passed down to future generations and all that.”
“It usually is. I know there are bylaws in place to remove someone, but I’ve never heard of it actually happening before.”
“So, she’s out,” I said softly.
I couldn’t believe it. Being a part of CHAS had been Grandma’s life. Even when she vehemently disagreed with them or secretly worked against them to fight their bullying and racist attitudes, CHAS had been a part of her. With that part of her taken away, I wasn’t sure what to think. “How did she sound about it?” I asked Wes.
“You know Edie. She’s fine as long as she’s moving.”
I wasn’t surprised. This was Grandma. She’d probably seen it coming, prepared for it. Hell, it was probably all part of some master plan she had going.
Vera’s visions had always included two paths for me, one being a seat on CHAS. With Grandma out, that was definitely no longer a part of my future. Not that I’d ever wanted it, but it felt strange to have the choice removed for me.
“Did she say where she was going?” I asked.
&nbs
p; “She has your mom. They’re going to meet up with Jack and Fee.”
My shoulders slumped a little. “And so we wait,” I said.
“We wait,” he agreed.
Chapter Twelve
George’s cheerfulness seeped through the bond like an unwanted spill. I tried shoving it away. It irritated me in a way happy couples irritate lonely singles—it spread and invaded until I felt better against my will.
“Good morning,” George said, crossing directly to the fridge. He skipped the coffeepot and drank directly from the milk carton in the fridge.
“Help yourself,” I said dryly. Despite my tone, he grinned.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Why are you so cheerful?” Wes asked.
George shrugged. “Why not? It’s a new day. We’re all rested and ready and going to figure this thing out.” He looked back and forth between Wes and me, as if we were the ones acting strange. “Right?” he prompted when neither of us answered.
I hesitated for a beat, but suddenly I didn’t want to diminish his good mood. It was the first good mood any of us had in days. Regardless of his real reason—I suspected Emma had a lot to do with it—I would take the second-hand confidence.
“Right,” I echoed.
Wes glanced at me, brow raised, but then he echoed it too. “Right.”
“Right,” Emma said from across the breakfast table. George beamed at her and she lit up.
“So where do we start?” George asked. He braced his hands on the counter and lifted himself up so he was sitting on it.
“The pack,” I said.
He nodded. “We need them back.”
I looked at him sharply. “You think they’re all right?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “But I think … Well, I think if they’d been hurt, you would feel more than empty.”
“How do you know?” Wes asked.
George looked at Wes and then back at me, an intensity in his eyes that wasn’t usually there. “If something happened to Tara, I would know. Without a doubt, I would know. And it would be much worse than emptiness. Think about it, Tay.”
Blood Rule (Book 4, Dirty Blood series) Page 17