by Sara Orwig
She had to make a decision what to do. Right now she wanted to shower and dress because she expected to see Nick again before he left for the office.
Soon she was wore a tan sweater and matching slacks and had her hair tied behind her head with a silk scarf.
A slight rapping at the door made her wipe her eyes again. “Coming,” she called, trying to pull herself together and hide her feelings. She didn’t want Nick’s pity.
She opened the door to find him standing there. Her heartbeat reminded her how she always reacted to the sight of him. He was the most handsome man she had known. Why had she been so foolish to dream he would fall in love with her and want this marriage to become real? She thought of pictures she had seen of him before she had met him and the beautiful, sophisticated, wealthy women he had socialized with before his marriage.
Why had she expected so much? She had been carried away by Nick’s charm, the showering of presents on her, lust, but nothing that was deeply meaningful.
“You look beautiful,” he said.
“Thank you.”
“I called my dad and told him we would stop by to see him tonight.”
“Fine.”
“You’re not happy,” he said, reaching out to caress her throat. His touch was light and in spite of her hurt, the contact sizzled.
“I’m all right, Nick. This is a change in both our lives and I’m adjusting and reassessing.”
“We should talk about this.”
“We can later. You go to work as you planned.”
He stood studying her and leaned forward to brush a kiss on her lips before he turned and left.
Watching him walk away, she closed her bedroom door. How long would it take to get over Nick?
She felt as if it would take forever. She looked around the beautiful bedroom they shared. Did she want to walk out on this or stay and take her chances? Again, she thought about the women that used to be in his life. She knew some still called him because she had heard him talking to them and politely getting rid of them. She didn’t want to be one of those he politely got out of his life. Why had she ever thought she could win his heart?
Aunt Clara had warned her not to foolishly think she could gain Nick’s love. Nick would not stay in a relationship because of an unplanned pregnancy; nor would he because of Michael.
Tears threatened again and she blinked them back, clamping her jaw and going to get her phone to call Aunt Clara. If they were going to see Eli tonight, she would have to pick up Michael. She also had to tell Clara about the baby.
Michael was asleep when Grace arrived at Clara’s house so they went to the kitchen to talk and have a cup of hot tea.
“I’ve wanted to see you and have a chance to talk. I went to the doctor this week. I’m going to have a baby.”
Clara shrieked and laughed, throwing her arms around Grace and causing another pang, because this was the kind of jubilant reaction she had wanted from Nick. She hugged Clara as hot tears spilled on her cheeks and her aunt pulled away. The minute she saw Grace’s tears, her smile vanished.
“You’re crying. Aren’t you happy?”
“I’m delighted. It’s Nick. He’s stunned because we hadn’t planned on this. Aunt Clara, common sense tells me I shouldn’t expect Nick to react like a man in love would, but I want him to,” she confessed.
“Oh, Grace, I was afraid of this,” Clara said, hugging Grace again. While Clara returned to her seat, Grace wiped her eyes.
“I’m okay. I’m thinking about what to do. I don’t know that I can stay with Nick. It’s going to be difficult to stay in a relationship that is so one-sided.”
“What’s one-sided about it?” Clara asked, her eyes narrowing. “You’re in love with Nick.”
Grace nodded and wiped her eyes again, struggling to get her emotions under control.
“Darling, men like Nick—with so much wealth and accustomed to getting what he wants—some of those men probably can’t settle. Nick has grown up with a terrible example in his father. Plus Nick has entered this relationship without love and so did you.”
“I know. I shouldn’t have expected anything else.”
“Does Nick want to end this marriage?”
“No, but I don’t know if I want to stay in it when his heart isn’t in it.”
“If you want to move in with me for a time so you can think clearly, you know I’d love having you,” Clara offered.
“Thank you.”
Michael’s cries interrupted them and Grace stood. “I’ll get him. I’ve missed him.” She picked up Michael, who reached out to her. His crying changed to a smile as he hugged her and snuggled close in her arms. “You’re going to be a big brother, darling,” she told him, patting his back. That was one of the great things about her pregnancy. She would have a baby, Nick’s baby, and Michael would become a big brother and have a sibling close in age.
“He had a good nap,” Clara said.
“I need to take him home because I’ll have to get him changed to go see Eli tonight and share the news.”
“He will be overjoyed whether Nick is or not.”
“I know he will.”
“You will probably get showered with another priceless gift for giving him another grandchild.”
“I imagine you’re also correct on that assumption.”
“If Nick were an ordinary man, I would say, be patient, give him time. But I don’t think his attitude will change if you two stay together for the next five years.”
“That’s what worries me, too. If I stay, I will be so in love it will tear me to pieces to leave him or for him to leave me. Right now, it will hurt, but hopefully, I’ll get over it.”
“I can promise you, you’ll get over it,” Clara said. “You haven’t known Nick long enough to be truly, deeply in love with the kind of love that is devastating when it ends.”
The words stung and Grace remained silent, but she doubted that her aunt was correct. The way she felt now, she expected to love Nick the rest of her life.
She told Clara goodbye and drove home to get Michael ready for his visit to his grandfather.
As she was finishing Michael’s bath, Nick appeared in the doorway. “Let me take over,” he said, tossing his coat and tie on a chair. He returned, rolling up his sleeves to wave her away.
Watching Nick finish Michael’s bath, her insides knotted again. Nick was marvelous with Michael and before long Michael was going to love him and look to him as his father.
Nick grabbed a towel, tossing it over his shoulder. He picked up Michael to stand him on the edge of the tub and wrap the towel around him, talking and playing with him all the time he dried him. They looked like father and son to her. The black-haired man and the black-haired, brown-eyed child.
Shortly, Nick had Michael dressed and ready and they left to see Eli. As she watched Eli talk to Michael and hold him, she knew whatever happened, she would never take the babies away from Eli. While he hadn’t helped Alicia, he hadn’t been the one who turned Alicia away.
“Dad, we came by to tell you some news we have.”
“And what is that?” Eli asked, looking from Nick to her.
“Grace is expecting your second grandchild.”
Michael climbed down off Eli’s lap and crawled to get a toy while Eli’s eyes sparkled and he stood. “Congratulations! That’s the best news you could possibly bring me. I’m delighted,” he said, shaking Nick’s hand and crossing the room to Grace. She stood to hug him lightly and he embraced her in return. He smiled at her. “You’ve made me happier than you’ll ever know.”
Megan entered the room and Eli motioned to her. “Megan, come hear the news. I’m going to have a new grandchild. I will be the grandfather of two.”
“How wonderful!” Megan exclaimed, hugging Grace lightly and smiling at Nick. “Congratulations! That is really great.”
“Let’s drink a toast, if you don’t mind lemonade or tea, Grace.”
“Not at all,” she said, thinking ever
yone’s reaction had been joyous with the exception of the one person in the world she wanted to be thrilled over the news.
Eli raised his glass in a toast. “Here’s to my grandchildren.” He touched her glass with his and then took a long drink before setting down his glass. She sipped hers. “Another grandchild. I am ecstatic. A grandchild is special beyond measure. A grandchild is unconditional love. Probably the only relationship on earth like that. Even on a honeymoon, there’s really no such thing as unconditional love. If I were younger, I would be dancing you around the room,” he said, and she laughed. He held up his hand. “Just a moment. This is a special occasion and calls for something special in return. I’ll be right back,” he said on his way out of the room.
They chatted with Megan until Eli returned, crossing the room to Grace. “Grace, you’ve made my life happy and I love my grandson. Now I have the joy of looking forward to another grandchild. I want you to have this to remember this night and my gratitude. It was my grandmother’s. It will go with your green eyes.”
Eli handed her a box that had a worn corner. She opened it and gasped. “Eli, this is beautiful,” she said, picking up a bracelet made of diamonds and emeralds.
“I want you to have it and I hope you like it. Thank you for Michael and for the next baby.”
Both Megan and Nick went to look at the bracelet and then Nick fastened it on her wrist.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, looking at the glittering gems.
Eli returned to his chair. The rest of the evening, Grace noticed, he had a smile on his face.
Later, on the way home in the car, she looked at the bracelet on her wrist. “Nick, this bracelet is gorgeous and should stay in your family.”
“Grace, you are in my family now. You’re my wife, mother of my child and mother of Bart’s baby. You are part of the Rafford clan.”
“I felt funny accepting this in front of Megan.”
“No need to. Megan gets a princely sum for her salary. Besides, haven’t you noticed—Megan is only fifteen years younger than my dad. They enjoy each other’s company. I suspect Megan has already received some fancy baubles herself.”
“I hadn’t noticed. Well, I suppose I have noticed they get along and your dad enjoys her company.”
“I think Megan enjoys his, too.”
They turned into the garage of the condo and she forgot about Eli and Megan.
Michael had already fallen asleep and shortly he was tucked in his crib. When she returned to their bedroom, Nick drew her into his arms to kiss her and for the night, their problems diminished.
They made love through the night and Grace was passionate, feeling as if they might not have many more nights together.
The following week Grace packed her things and Michael’s. Nick had been out of town and was due back in Dallas midafternoon. She expected him to go by the office and get home at five. She’d taken Michael to Clara’s and now waited for Nick.
She had dressed conservatively, wearing a navy jacket and slacks with a short-sleeved navy sweater, her hair tied behind her head. As she put a suitcase in her car, Nick pulled into his parking spot and climbed out.
“Don’t you do that,” he said, crossing the few yards to pick up her other suitcase and put it in the back of her car, which already held three suitcases.
“You’re going somewhere?”
Her throat knotted. “Yes, I am.”
He glanced around. “Let’s go inside,” he said, and she nodded, walking in silence beside him.
“Did you have a successful trip?”
“Yes. I acquired the land I wanted. Details will have to be worked out by my staff, but I had a good trip. Where’s Michael?”
“He’s with Aunt Clara.”
They entered the condo and Nick glanced around. “Any staff here?”
She shook her head. “We’re alone.”
“You look great,” he said. “Why the suitcases?”
“Nick, I think I should move out for a while. At least, I want to separate for a time to think things over and decide about the future.”
He frowned. “Why? And not while you’re pregnant. You should stay until after the baby is born.”
“I don’t think so. I might come back, but I want out for now,” she said, afraid the control she had over her emotions would give way and she would cry. “My move won’t jeopardize your seeing Michael if you want to, or Eli seeing Michael.”
“’You know I’m good for Michael.”
“You can see Michael whenever you want.”
“I don’t understand why you’re doing this. Is this because I was shocked over the news we’re having a baby?” Nick asked.
“Not your shock. I was shocked, too. I don’t think you want to be a dad to two. Actually, I can’t do this relationship without a commitment from you.”
“We’re married, Grace. That’s legally binding.”
“We’re wed, but it isn’t a real obligation. You’ve told me that over and over.” She gave him a direct look. “I want it all. I’ve fallen in love with you,” she admitted, barely able to get her voice. “I want your love in return. Otherwise, I don’t want to stay.”
Silence fell while they looked at each other and for just a moment her heart drummed with hope and anticipation that he would again ask her to stay or make some kind of declaration. Instead, he stared at her in silence until he finally tilted his head to one side.
“Grace, I can’t give you the declaration you want. Or the full marriage. I’m just not ready for that. This baby wasn’t planned. I can’t automatically fall in love. I’m leery of a real commitment after watching all the shallow relationships my dad has had.”
They gazed at each other in silence and she could feel the clash of wills and see the wrath in Nick’s dark eyes.
“Damn it,” he whispered, and pulled her close to kiss her.
Angry and hurt, trying to resist him, Grace stood stiffly while he kissed her. Then his tongue stroking hers rekindled fires. She wrapped her arm around his neck and kissed him in return and was hopelessly carried away by passion. Finally, she ended the kiss and stepped away from him. “You know my cell number. I can afford what I want. I have a condo not far from Aunt Clara. She asked me to stay with her, but I wanted my own place. I need time and space to think about the future,” she said.
She left and he didn’t stop her. By the time she reached her car, she was blinded by tears and hoped she wasn’t making a huge mistake. Crying, she drove to her condo in a gated area filled with tall oaks. Once inside her place, she sat crying, hating the loneliness and the silence, but she had to get a grip on her emotions if she wanted to go visit her aunt. She thought about Nick, standing in his back entrance, his charcoal jacket unbuttoned and his tie loosened. He had looked angry, hurt, yet incomparably appealing. She was going to miss him dreadfully and if she wanted to go back, she should return soon because it wouldn’t take Nick long to move on with his life.
Each time she considered stepping back into a loveless marriage, hot sex or not, she didn’t want to do it. She wanted Nick’s love and his heart was locked away behind impossible barriers that she hadn’t managed to overcome.
“I love you, Nick,” she whispered, crying softly and already missing him terribly.
Nick stood in the empty entry hall, staring after Grace. He was hurt and he was angry over her leaving. She was being unreasonable, ridiculous. If she wanted his love, why didn’t she stay and give their marriage a chance?
He knew the answer to his own question. Because she wanted his love. He’d told her from the first that he wasn’t into a lasting commitment. “Damn it,” he swore. He hated her leaving, particularly at this time. She was pregnant and she ought to stay until after the baby was born and let him help with Michael and then with both babies. Michael was only eight months old now. The babies would be close in age and she would need help.
He reassured himself that Grace had enough money to hire a nanny and a cook and whoever else she wa
nted. He left, heading back to the club and not wanting to stay home alone.
Two weeks later he lay in the darkness staring into space. He hadn’t slept peacefully since the night Grace walked out. He didn’t know how many times he had picked up his phone to call her, thought about it and put away the phone. It was pointless. Neither of them would change.
He turned to look at the empty bed beside him, seeing Grace, remembering her smiling at him, kissing him, recalling the touch and feel of her body. He groaned and sat up. He’d tried working out for hours and pouring himself into business, but he couldn’t keep his mind on his work. Anything to forget her, but he couldn’t. His dad asked about her constantly and mentioned her and Michael’s visits.
Nick had seen her when she had dropped Michael off three or four times and they had spoken coolly. She was coming tomorrow to bring Michael. Each time he saw her, Nick’s heart had lurched violently. She looked gorgeous and still had her figure. There was no way yet by looking to tell she was pregnant.
Groaning again, he raked his fingers through his hair. He missed her. He admitted it to himself. He missed Michael. Seeing Michael once a week was different from living in the house with him and seeing him daily except when he traveled. He missed both of them badly.
He thought about the dinner he’d had with Tony recently. Tony had squinted his eyes and studied Nick.
“You look like hell, Nick. Why don’t you try to get Grace back?”
“She doesn’t want to come back. She wants it all, a real marriage. I’m not into love and real commitment.”
“You look like a man in love to me.”
“How would you know?” Nick snapped.
“Hey, don’t take my head off. You’re in love with your wife. Go get her and tell her.”
Nick had glared at Tony and changed the subject, but now he mulled over the conversation. “…you look like a man in love…you’re in love with your wife…go…tell her…” Was Tony right? Nick stared into space. Had he fallen in love with Grace? Real love? He didn’t think that would ever happen to him in his entire life. It was a pitfall that he expected to avoid because it led to huge heartaches, but that’s what he was suffering now. Was he actually in love with his wife? He’d never expected to fall in love, but had that made him too blind to see it?