by Stacy-Deanne
He let her go.
“As much as I wanna be with you, I won’t sacrifice my sanity for any man.” She walked back to the front of the couch. “I gotta do what’s right for me. I need some time and we can…”
“Pick up where we left off?” His voice cracked. “I’m supposed to just wait for you to fix up your life and then come back to me?”
“I…” Her eyes tingled from tears. “I was hoping you’d wanna wait.”
“I love you, Layla.” He lowered his head. “But if you walk out on this, I don’t know if I can wait. Things aren’t so easy for me either, but being with you makes everything worth it.”
“It’s because I care about you that I can’t do this right now. It’s not fair for me to be with you with all that’s going on.”
“You’re doing this for me?” He grinned. “You’re breaking my heart for me? You’re telling yourself that to feel like some saint, Layla?”
“No. Why are you being like this?”
“Because I’m pissed!” He flung his arm. “I just found you, and I don’t wanna lose you.”
“You’re not losing me. I just need time!”
“How much time?” he yelled. “Do you even know?”
She couldn’t think of a suitable answer. He ran his fingers through his hair. “Then I guess there’s nothing left to say.”
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Aliyah peeked into Layla’s bedroom. Layla sat against the headboard with her laptop.
“I see you.” She read another email from her latest Royal Delights client. “This woman is about to drive me crazy.”
“Who?” Aliyah walked in and sat on the foot of the bed.
“This latest client. We’re doing her niece’s wedding, and she keeps changing her mind every day. First she wanted chicken, then she wanted seafood, and now she wants Mexican.” Layla opened another email. “Getting on my last nerve.”
“You like it though.” Aliyah leaned over on her elbows. “You haven’t smiled this much in a long time.”
“And it’s been a long time since you wanted to talk to me.” Layla scrolled through the long-winded email.
“I got something to get off my chest.” Aliyah sat up. “I—”
“Please, don’t tell me you’re pregnant.” Layla exhaled. “With all the other stuff that’s going on… Liyah…”
“I’m not pregnant.” She looked at her fingers. “See, that’s why I don’t talk to you about anything, because you say stupid shit like that.”
“Watch your mouth.”
“But it’s true. I just needed to talk to someone.” Aliyah got up and went to the doorway. “I don’t know why I wasted my time.”
“Hold on.” Layla set the laptop aside. “I’m sorry. It’s hard to tell what you want, since we haven’t been close in I-can’t-remember-when.”
Aliyah slumped toward the bed. “We were never as close as you are with Shanti.”
“But we were closer than we have been. What’s going on?”
“Shanti.” She sat on the bed and kicked out her leg. “She hates me.”
“No, she doesn’t.”
“Momma, I go over there, and she won’t even look at me.”
“She’s going through something difficult, that’s all.”
“Can I ask you something?”
Layla nodded.
She looked at Layla with teary eyes. “Would you rather it had been me instead of her?”
“What?” Layla threw the sheet off. “How can you ask me something like that?”
“I know you and Dad probably think I deserve it because of how I’ve been acting…” Aliyah sobbed. “…hanging out with all those boys.”
“Stop it right now.” Layla scooted beside her and hugged her. “Don’t say another word. How can you even think that? We love you just as much as Shanti. We don’t want anything to happen to either of you.” Layla kissed the top of her head. “We’d die if you guys got hurt.”
“Even after how I’ve treated you?”
“You’re my daughter. No matter how you treat me, I’m always gonna love you.” Layla raised Aliyah off her. “Have we gotten so far apart that you gotta be reminded of that?” She kissed the tears on Aliyah’s cheek. “I would do anything for you, Liyah. You can treat me like crap for the rest of your life, and I’m still gonna be there. Death wouldn’t even stop me.” Layla rocked her. “I want you and Shanti to be happy as can be. That’s my wish. Let me show you something.” Layla went to her dresser and pulled the macaroni drawing out of the top drawer. She sat on the bed and handed it to Aliyah. “Remember this?”
Aliyah stared at the wrinkled picture. “This is my drawing I did when I was a kid. I can’t remember when…”
“You did it when you were in the third grade.” Layla smiled.
“I can’t believe you kept this.” Aliyah’s mouth hung open. “All this time?”
“Course I kept it. It means the world to me because you made it. I always took it with me when I’d go to Wellington.” Layla touched it. “I’d put it on my wall to remind me of what I’m fighting for.”
“You…you took this with you?”
“Yes.”
“Momma, I’m sorry.” Aliyah hugged her. “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you. Please forgive me, and let’s start over.”
“Don’t even worry about it.” Layla kissed her cheek. “I forgave you a long time ago.”
Aliyah let her go. “Wow.” She looked at the drawing. “I can’t believe you’ve had this all these years.”
“It’s more valuable to me than you could know.” Layla took it and put it back in the dresser.
Aliyah’s ring tone went off from down the hall. “Oh.” She jumped up. “Probably A.C.”
“A.C.” Layla groaned on her way back to the bed. “I really don’t see why you’re wasting your time with him.”
“I really like him, Momma. I think I love him.”
“Love?”
“Yes, and he loves me. He’s really sorry for what happened to Shanti.” Aliyah pulled on her nightgown. “Can you just support me and trust that I’m making the right decision in being with him?”
Layla got under the covers. “I’m just worried.”
“He’s not anything like Khalil. Maybe you could get to know him?” Aliyah leaned her head to one side. “Wouldn’t that be fair?”
“I guess so. Maybe he can come over for dinner one night.”
“Great!” Aliyah jumped up and down. “You’re gonna really like him when you see what kind of person he is. He might look all hard, but he’s not like that with me.”
Her ring tone continued.
“Bye.” Aliyah ran to the door and then stopped. “Oh and…uh…how are things going with you and Cross?”
“Unfortunately, not as well as with you and A.C.” Layla placed the laptop on her lap. “I don’t know what the future holds for me and Cross.”
“What happened?”
“My life happened.” Layla straightened the pillow behind her back. “Same old story.”
“But you like him.” Aliyah approached the bed. “If you like him, then you should be with him.”
“Liyah.” Layla faked a smile. “Go answer your phone.”
“Aren’t you always saying it’s important to be happy? Cross makes you happy, so I don’t see what the problem is.”
“It’s just not the right time.”
Aliyah went to the door. “With love, it’s always the right time.”
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
“Hello, Layla.” Patrick walked into her office at Royal Delights a week later. “How are you?”
I was fine until you showed up.
“Busy.” She typed on her computer. “I’m about to go to lunch.”
“That’s why I’m here.” He stood in front of her desk. “I came to ask you out to lunch.” Is he crazy?
She got her purse from the bottom desk drawer. “What makes you think I wanna have lunch with you?”
“You hate
me now?” He squinted. “Is that it?”
“I don’t hate you, but I don’t see why we need to have lunch together either.”
“We need to talk.”
“I told you the only thing we need to talk about is Shanti. How is she? Did she say anything about coming home?”
“We talked a little bit about it.” He sat in the chair by her desk. “She asked me what she should do, and I told her it was up to her.”
“You should’ve told her to come home. You know she belongs with me.”
“I’m her father, so I dispute that she ‘belongs’ with you. Maybe you need to admit that you screwed up somewhere, because she feels like she can’t be around you now.”
“Go to hell.” She got up and shoved her chair under her desk. “I spent twenty years with you disrespecting me in my own home and in front of my children, but I’ll be damned if you’re gonna do it in my office.”
He stood. “Calm down. I—”
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” She threw her purse on the desk. “Don’t tell me you don’t love playing the hero to Shanti. It’s always about you looking better than I do. Why is that, Patrick? Why throughout our entire marriage did you treat me like I was your competition instead of your wife?”
“I didn’t realize I did that.”
“Just like you didn’t realize how critical and negative you always were with me?” She sat back down. “Why did you always tear me down?”
“I…I’m sorry if I did that.”
“You’re damn right, you did it.” She scooted her chair up to the desk. “At Wellington, we did exercises where we wrote down things that made us the most stressful and why. You know what I wrote every single time?” She pointed to him. “Your name because you had me so wound up all the time that I was always walking on egg shells around you.”
“I hate that you felt that way.” He got on his knees beside her desk. “Layla, I love you so much. I know I wasn’t perfect, but I did the best I could.”
“I just wanna know why you treated me like that. What changed? When we first got together you weren’t like that. Did you resent me because of my illness?”
“No.”
“Were you frustrated? What?”
“It wasn’t you,” he whispered. “The truth is that I’ve always been so damn intimidated by you.” He looked her in the eyes. “I fell for you the first moment we met because of how driven and smart you were. You had all these dreams, and you made every one of them happen. You’re a wonderful chef, have an MBA from Harvard, run your own catering business.”
She looked at the desk.
“And I’m some loser accountant who barely got a degree.”
“That’s not true.”
“In my mind, I was never good enough for you. When we got married, I was so proud that you were mine. It was a gift having you on my arm. It made me feel important. I was so happy when you started Royal Delights.” He shook his head. “But in my mind, I never felt I deserved you. Part of me was glad you were schizophrenic because it made me feel like you needed me.” Tears fell down his face. “Because I never thought I was anyone anybody ever really needed.”
“Patrick.”
“I resented you because you can shine on your own, Layla. You always have. Look at you now after the divorce. I never felt important before you, and I don’t feel important now. I’ve never been able to shine, and a part of me was so bitter about that. I guess I felt I had to down you to feel better about myself.” He caressed her hand. “I’m sorry.” He kissed it. “I’m asking here and now, straight out…will you give me another chance? More than anything, I want to love you the way I should’ve the first time.”
“I’ll always love you. But I don’t want to be with you anymore.” She let his hand go. “We had a life together, and now it’s over.”
“I’m an idiot.” He stood. “Why is it that we don’t realize what we’ve lost until it’s gone?”
She thought of Cross. “I don’t know.”
“I’ll talk to Shanti about going home, okay?”
She stood. “I’d appreciate that.”
“I just can’t believe it’s really over between us.” He went to the door. “You’ll always have my heart…until the day I die.”
She hugged him. “Call me if you need me.”
“Mmm.” He held her tight. “You always smell so good.” He kissed her cheek. “I use to love smelling the sheets after you got out of bed, because I couldn’t get enough of your sweet scent. I miss you lying beside me.”
She moved from him. “Goodbye, Patrick.”
He sighed. “Goodbye, Layla.”
She closed the door and got her cell phone out. She selected Cross’ name and number. His voice mail came on.
“Cross, it’s me, Layla. I was trying to catch you.” She sat behind her desk. “I’m sorry for what I said at your place. I’d like to talk things over, if you have time. Please call me back. I really do miss you.” She went to hang up then stopped. “I…I love you, Cross.”
She hung up and let out a huge breath.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Layla got the homemade pizza sauce out of the fridge when the doorbell rang.
“Would you get the door, Liyah?”
Aliyah set the ready-made pizza crusts on the table and scampered out of the kitchen. She returned with Valerie.
“It’s Aunt Val, Momma.”
“Hey, girl.” Layla took the plastic top off her sauce.
“Hey!” Valerie trotted to the counter and hugged Layla. “How are you doing?”
“How are you doing?” Layla sniffed her. “Coming in here smelling nice. You sure do look all pretty.”
“Yeah, I got my hair done.” Valerie patted the bouncy curls. “It’s about time I paid some attention to myself.” She checked out the items on the table. “Making pizza?”
“Yep, I begged Momma to make some.” Aliyah got the shredded mozzarella from the refrigerator and laid it on the counter. “I wanted her to make the crust, but she refused.” She stuck her lips out.
“Girl, you know the day I’ve had?” Layla stirred her sauce and put it in the microwave. “I don’t have time to make homemade crust. I’ve been on my feet all day cooking at work and dealing with that pain-in-the-butt client. I’ll be glad when her niece’s wedding is over, shoot.”
Aliyah shook her head, grinning. “I gotta call A.C.” She kissed Valerie’s cheek. “Love you, Aunt Val.”
“Love you too, baby,” Val told her as she left the kitchen.
“She must really like that A.C. boy.” Valerie sat at the table. “This is the longest Liyah’s been with one boy.”
“She claims she loves him.” Layla got the pepperoni from the refrigerator. “I didn’t like him at first, but he’s nice. He came over for dinner a few days ago with his mom. She’s a nurse.”
Valerie propped her elbow on the table. “You and Liyah seem to be getting along well these days.”
“Yes.” Layla giggled. “I’m so happy to have my baby back to normal.” She opened the pepperoni. “If only Shanti were here, then everything would be perfect. I just hope she comes out of this soon. I’m really worried.”
“I can’t imagine how it feels for a young girl to go through what she went through.” Valerie crossed her legs. “We can’t expect her to get over that in a month.”
Layla laid slices of pepperoni on a saucer. “Apparently Khalil is in Dallas somewhere, and his mother doesn’t know where he is.” She rolled her eyes. “I think she’s lying.”
“Well, his ass can’t hide forever.”
“He thinks he’s slick, but he’s gonna pay for what he did to my baby.” Layla got the cookie sheet from the bottom cabinet. “We’ll wait on his ass. He’ll slip up, and then Detective Gunner will get him. Anyway, let’s change the subject.” She gestured to Val. “You look different, and it’s not the hair.”
Valerie beamed.
“Something’s going on with you.” Layla got the crusts off the
table. “I haven’t seen you in a while, and you usually stop by at least once a week. Every time I call you, you don’t answer or you’re busy. Working a lot?”
Valerie wiggled her head with a sneaky smile. “That’s not the reason I’ve been hard to catch up with.”
Layla laid the crusts on the cookie sheet. “Could David be the reason?”
Valerie acted coy. “Things are going very, very nice with us.”
“Really?” Layla grabbed the sauce and a spoon. “Do tell.”
“We aren’t fighting anymore. We spend time together. We started something call David Night.”
“David Night?” Layla scooped sauce over the pizza crusts.
“Yep, we have at least one night a week where we focus on David and his needs. And girl…that’s turning out to be focusing on my needs as well.” Valerie snapped her fingers. “And he’s been focusing on my needs very well.”
“Freak.” Layla bent over, laughing.
“I forgot how good it could feel to be in the arms of the man you love.” Valerie shivered as if she felt a spark. “It feels so good when he holds you and whispers in your ear after making love.”
Layla’s heart dropped.
Would she ever get to experience those tender moments with Cross?
I’m such a fool.
“David and I are closer than we’ve been in a long time.”
“That’s good, Val.” Layla sprinkled cheese on the pizzas. “You deserve to be happy. No wonder you’re glowing.”
“I’m not sure if that’s the only reason I’m glowing.” She tapped her foot.
“Huh?” Layla put her hand on her waist.
“I feel so full of life.” Valerie turned her watch around on her wrist. “Should I say full of a life?” She looked like she’d bust from holding in her grin.
“Val.” Layla spilled cheese on the counter. “You’re not saying what I think you’re saying.” She hopped over to her. “Val?” Layla squealed.
She flashed the biggest smile Layla had ever seen. “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh!” Layla pulled her out of the chair and swung her around. “Pregnant?” She patted Valerie’s flat stomach. “You’re pregnant?” Layla jumped up and down. “Pregnant! You’re…”